Divine Hart

by Heather Shere

  I check the mirrors and set the radio station, an 80’s tune softly plays through the speakers. We have the same taste in music, it’s another thing that made us close. I glance at her before I set off. “Ready?”

  She turns in her seat and gives me a long look then plants a fake smile on her face. “Yep, overjoyed to get back.”

  I ignore her sarcastic response, just glad that I’m getting her to come home. I pull the car out onto the street and weave in and out of traffic until we are finally on the highway. The way she and by she, I mean my car, handles the turns and drives so smooth lets me forget about my passenger for a little while.

  The radio softly plays, and we are completely silent. This would make most people uncomfortable, but not us. We drive for a couple of hours just listening to music, her softly singing a couple of the songs. I forgot how the sound of her voice could send shivers down my spine.

  As we are pulling off the 110, I feel my hands start to go clammy. Now that I’ve got her this far, I don’t know how things will go. Will she want to see me again? Will I have to beg? Will she run again? I hate not knowing, not having control. In no time we are driving down Vista Chino. I turn down Monte Vista, knowing the route to her house better than my own. Glancing at her a few times, I see that she keeps her face forward. She portrays herself as calm and cool, but I suspect underneath there is a torrent of emotions.

  “Your mom is going to be so happy to see you.” I doubt the words as soon as they are out of my mouth. I’m just trying to make conversation to break up the thoughts in my head.

  “Yeah…” She nervously bounces her foot.

  Turning on Las Palmas, dread consumes me. Soon I will deliver her home and have to drive away. I don’t want her to leave yet. As we turn onto her street, Ladera Circle, the car hugs the sharp turns, climbing up the mountainside.

  Her foot is still bouncing, and it concerns me that she’s nervous. “Are you alright?” I look quickly over at her.

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” she replies as her foot keeps going.

  “You don’t look so well, you sure?” I don’t believe her. I let the silence continue for a minute then clear my throat waiting for an answer.

  She turns a fake sunny smile my way. “Just another day in paradise.” I know she’s being sarcastic, we used to hate it when the tourists said that.

  As we pull further up her street the road is all torn up and there are construction signs everywhere.

  “You can stop here,” she says suddenly. We are literally three houses away, but she seems adamant. “You don’t need to get the tar and rocks on your car.”

  I pull the car into the next drive. “You sure? I can take you up, I don’t mind.”

  “I’m sure, thanks for the ride.”

  “I can walk you up, part of me wants to see your parents’ faces when they see you.” I give her a small grin.

  “No, thank you, this is something I need to do on my own.”

  She opens the door and I feel panic. “Skye! Wait!” I blurt it out before I have time to think what I’m doing.

  “Yes?” She has a raised brow and a tightness about her lips.

  I look into her face and give her my boyish smile. “Maybe we can meet up for coffee sometime?”

  “Hmmm coffee, maybe. I’ll call you.” She doesn’t smile, she just walks off down the street to her house. I know damn well she doesn’t have my number. I sigh and reluctantly pull out of the drive and head back to my house.

  “Take care of yourself,” I mutter to myself as I watch her get smaller in the rearview mirror.

  Nine

  I stand at the end of our driveway and stare. Some things never change, and the house I grew up in hasn’t changed at all. I try to summon the nerve to walk up, I must have been staring at the house long enough to be noticed. I see the blinds move and I feel my mother’s stare. She’ll be watching from the shadows for sure, and I know I haven’t changed so much in the last few years that she doesn’t know who she’s looking at.

  The few people I got to know on the streets couldn’t understand why a rich girl would choose to live like I was, that nothing could be that bad at home. I mean yeah, I had all the fine dining and shopping I could handle, but it was all the other stuff. Stuff that no one should ever put another person through.

  Eleven pm rolls around and still not a sound to alert me that he’s waiting. I get up from where I’m sitting in the corner, watching my door and look out the window. I don’t see him out by the palm tree where he usually waits until the house lights go off.

  I do see my father though, standing in the driveway with one of his slimeball friends. They both look toward my window talking and my father points toward me. I move back into the shadows where I won’t be seen. My father nods his head and they both laugh and walk back toward the house.

  My breathing becomes heavy and I try to calm it.

  Breathe… one, two, three… breathe…

  I can’t panic, not now… oh please not now. My father wouldn’t go that far, would he?

  Standing in the corner of my room, frozen with fear, I hear the handle to my door shake and then cursing.

  “Preston, now would be a really good time to show up,” I plead softly into my empty room.

  I hear a key put into the door and it slowly opens, the light from the hallway reveals my father. He looks toward my bed. Stupidly I didn’t even think of trying to make it look like I was in it. He switches the light on and scans the room.

  I try and give myself a mental pep talk, “Don’t let him see you’re afraid, he wants that. Be brave! Be a warrior!”

  “Why are you awake?” he barks when his eyes land on me.

  He expected me to be passed out, that confirms he tried to drug me. “Because your wife drank the glass you gave me.” I start feeling a little braver. Preston will be here any minute. He will save me.

  “Ungrateful little bitch!” he sneers at me.

  “You can leave my room now,” I say, calmer than I feel.

  “It’s payback time. I thought I would be nice and take the fight out of you.” He moves fully into the room and shuts the door behind him.

  “You’ll never take the fight out of me, not even if I’m dead.” I’m seething but so scared and I take a step back and the wall stops me from moving any further. My hands fist at my sides.

  That doesn’t stop him from moving forward. “You’ll do as you’re told, you made a deal.”

  “The fuck I did, it’s my money! You just want people to think it’s yours while you still can!” I shout. I can’t keep the anger from my voice.

  I didn’t realize he was close enough to strike me until he backhands me and I feel the sharp pain followed by the metallic taste of my blood that starts filling my mouth.

  “You’ll learn some respect!” he roars at me as he punches me in the stomach. This makes me drop to my knees, gasping for air. Grabbing a fistful of my hair, he drags me back to my bed, then lifts me by my hair like a ragdoll. I refuse to scream and give him the satisfaction of knowing he hurt me.

  “I paid for your desert rat’s mother to live, now it’s time to pay me back. My friend John will be coming, and he’ll have his way with you. Go ahead and fight him, you’ll lose. He’ll love it. I’ll surely get a bonus.” He smacks my face again.

  This feels different than the other times. He’s usually careful about my face; he wouldn’t want anyone seeing my face bruised up. What does he mean his friend is going to have his way with me? I should be quiet but I’m not going down without a fight.

  “Preston will be here any minute,” I snap, praying he will get here right now

  He gives me a cocky know-it-all look and lets out a sinister laugh. “Your little boyfriend can’t help you anymore. He’s gone, and he won’t be back.”

  I always kept a stony silence about that part of my life. Who wants to admit how the people who gave you life treated you?

  The front door opens, and my mother stands there with her mouth hanging o
pen. She isn’t happy to see me, just like I had expected. I didn’t expect a warm welcome, but it still stings. The years haven’t been kind to her at all. The last time I saw her she was drugged and lying in bed. I suppose that was my fault since it should have been me, but then everything was always my fault. I walk toward her and not one damn ounce of affection enters the woman’s eyes as she looks me up and down.

  “Hello, Mother.” I force myself to say.

  She greets me with silence and opens the door a little further for me to come in. She wouldn’t dare deny me entry to my home, but that doesn’t make me welcome. I pause midstride as my father’s voice bellows through the door, “Victoria, who is it?” Ahh, finally some emotion in my mother’s eyes. Fear. She’s afraid to let him know I’m here. I wonder who she’s afraid of more right now? I could wish that she would sneak me in and give me time to prepare to face him, but she never was on my side.

  They knew when I left I would come back one day and claim what’s mine. I’m the enemy.

  “It’s Skye, Bob. She’s back.” My heart sinks as I hear his footsteps coming down the hall. I should be prepared, but how can you prepare for this? I may be stronger, but I must face my fears to try and banish them.

  My mother opens the door wider and his big beefy hand reaches out and pulls me in by my hair. My mother doesn’t have time to close it behind me before he starts. He’s 6’0” and rounder than Santa Claus, with a bald shiny head. I open my mouth to greet him, but I’m not able to get one word out before he backhands me right across the face.

  “BOB! HER FACE!” my mother screams.

  The damage has already been done. The metallic taste of blood fills my mouth and this time it is not a nightmare Preston can wake me from. I use the back of my hand to swipe at my mouth. “Slacking off at the gym while I was away?”

  His face turns beet red, and I know this is just the start of my welcome home. I'm sure he will keep this pace up until he is worn out or until he has to call one of his doctor cronies to come and stitch me up.

  “Fucking whore!” The venom is clear in his voice as he uses his favorite name for me. Then instead of another smack, his big beefy fist comes flying at my face. I try to move out of the way, but this only makes his fist clip me right under my chin.

  My head flies back and hits the wall behind me, and he catches me by my shirt before I hit the floor.

  “Why did you come back?” he spits in my face.

  “You know why, it’s only a month until by law I can claim what’s mine.” Not the smartest thing to say but it’s the truth.

  “If you make it until then,” he sneers, then slams me back against the wall, knocking the breath from me.

  I’m numb, I don’t feel a thing. I’ve gotten really good at blocking out pain and feelings. It’s one of the few things he taught me - to conceal the pain, because showing him any reaction just makes him happy.

  I’m not sure how long he takes his anger out on me, I just know it needs to end soon. He kicks my feet out from under me. I know I am falling, it’s as if this is playing in slow motion. Then my face bounces off the cool Spanish tile in the foyer and my world goes dark.

  I wake in my own bed and can barely move. I don’t know how long I was out. I’m still in the same clothes, and I can feel the blood dried on my cracked lips. I see water on the nightstand but can’t face sitting up to drink. Some welcome home party! Actually, if I’m honest, this wasn’t as bad as I was expecting. I mean hell, I’m alive.

  Ten

  From the car I sit and look at my house, the house I got for my Mama and Skye. For us. The character of the desert is alive in this house. It sits on the last road up the mountain. These houses almost never go on the market, but I was lucky and scooped it up quickly. The house doesn’t look like much from the driveway. You pull into a small courtyard, filled with desert lilies that are a light orangish red in color, then you see the beauty of the house.

  As soon as I walk in the door my mother comes to greet me. “Hello, Mama.” I kiss her cheeks and step back to grin at her.

  “Mama? What did you do wrong?” Her piercing gaze studies me.

  Crap she knows me too well. I couldn’t hide it from her even if I wanted to, but I can’t seem to contain my joy. “I found her.”

  “Skye?” She pushes past me and looks out of the still open door. “Where is she?”

  “I dropped her off at her house, but she’s back.” I sound like a kid who’s just met his favorite superhero.

  She turns on me. “Why on earth would you take her there? We’ve plenty of room here.” Her rare show of anger has me taking a step back.

  “One step at a time, Mama.”

  “Preston, you need to think about this. Is her parents’ home the best place for her? Sometimes, my son, you don’t think. Remember what I told you about the night you left?” She slams the front door and shakes her head at me.

  My mama’s recalling of that night flashes into my head.

  “Where is Preston?” Skye had asked my mom, panting and out of breath.

  “What in the world happened to your face?” Mama asked her.

  Skye’s hand went to her puffy lip. “I fell. Where is he, Liliya?

  “He’s not here,” Mama told her, keeping her promise to me.

  “Where is he? I have to find him, now.”

  Mama said she had never seen Skye so panicked. “I don’t know, Skye. I’m sorry. All I know is he is gone and will return.”

  “Return tomorrow?”

  “No, he’ll be gone a while. You can stay here of you are in trouble.”

  “This can’t be happening, he’d tell me if he was leaving.” Mama said she saw tears in her eyes.

  “I’m sorry, Skye. Come in, let’s talk about your face.” Mama took her hand and squeezed it.

  Skye said nothing, just rushed past her with a gasp, the need to see for herself that I was gone. She walked into my room and opened my drawers, seeing them all cleared out.

  “He left me…and said nothing?”

  “He’ll be back, I promise you that.”

  Skye had looked at my mama with tears rolling down her face and had seemed defeated. “Take care of yourself, Liliya,” she said softly, then kissed Mama on the cheek.

  “Don’t leave, stay with me,” Mama begged her.

  “I can’t Liliya, I need to go. If my father comes looking for me, it’s best to say you didn’t see me.”

  Mama shook me out of the recollection. “If it was them that did that to her, she shouldn’t be back there now.” She looks disappointed in me. I know she enjoys the nice things we have, but she also thinks the price I paid was too high and she has no idea of the real cost. To this day she doesn’t know Bob paid all her medical bills. I’ve kept her from the sordid details and the price I really had to pay.

  “Point taken, mom. The drive was long, I’m going to go for a swim.” I just want to be alone with my thoughts.

  “Okay, Preston, but think about what I said.”

  The swim wasn’t as calming as I hoped it would be. Climbing out of the pool and drying myself off, I head for my room.

  There, in a frame beside my bed, is our prom picture. I trace her smile with my finger and think back to the night this was taken.

  Wham is blasting, matching the eighties theme, and we both have stupid grins on our faces. I know how much she loves George Michael. We get to the dance floor just as the song ends and I can see the disappointment on her face. Trying to look around for anything that will make her happy, I see couples getting their photos taken in the far corner of the room. I grab her hand and tug.

  “Come on, over here.” I weave through the crowd.

  “Where are we going?” she yells behind me.

  We break through the crowd and I pull her into line. “Let’s get our picture taken.”

  “Really?” She raises an eyebrow at me.

  “Yeah, this night is forever.” I put my arm around her and hold her close while we wait for our turn. />
  When it’s our turn we hand the order form over and the photographer places us in the customary prom position, the one with my arms around her waist. After he takes our picture, I take her hand in mine and “Eternal Flame” starts playing.

  “Would you like to dance?” I ask her.

  Her eyes widen slightly. “You’ll dance to this?”

  The corners of my mouth tilt up into a sly grin. “With you, Detka, I’ll dance to anything.”

  She was so happy that night, that wasn’t the case last night. Her nightmare was pretty bad, and I wonder how she’ll be tonight. She wouldn’t go back there if it was dangerous for her…would she? I am going to drive myself insane, I need to take my mind off her. I’m going to go to my office and do some work.

  A soft knock on my office door sometime later pulls my head out of my thoughts. I look up to see my mom peek her head in. “Preston, I made us dinner.”

  I look over at the clock and realize a few hours have passed. “I’ll be right there.”

  I organize my papers on my desk. I haven’t really been giving the gem deals enough attention, so I set them aside. Walking through the house, I look around and picture Skye here with me. I think she would love this house.

  I sit down at our long rustic table just as my mom gets to the table with two plates. “Chicken and dumplings, it looks fantastic, Mom.”

  “Mmmhmmm, your favorite.” She sits down and dives right in.

  I glance at her occasionally as I move things around on my plate.

  She looks up at me with a frown on her face. “Hurry up and eat, it will get cold.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” We both eat in silence. There is no mistaking her disappointment in me, unless I am just reading too much into her facial expressions.

  She finishes eating and quietly starts clearing away the dishes.

  I silently follow her into the kitchen and work side by side with her in silence cleaning the dishes. After we are done I bend down and kiss her forehead. “Goodnight, Mama,” I tell her, then wearily walk to my bedroom.