Divine Hart

by Heather Shere

  As I lay in bed my mind starts racing back to Skye and the look on her face when I dropped her off. I can’t get her parents out of my head. I think back to all the times she talked about her parents, mostly her father. She kept me pretty far away from him when she could. She didn’t hold any affection for him, she acted like he was just another person and not a good one at that. I switch on my bedside lamp and turn on my side, punching my pillow, trying to get comfortable.

  I think back to that first time I snuck into her room to watch movies and accidentally fell asleep. She scared the crap out of me, waking me with her screams. We laughed later about it, or she did, but that night, in my arms, she slept soundly, and I knew I needed to be there for her always.

  But I failed.

  Now that I’m older and I am really playing back history in my head, I can see that maybe she’s suffered for a long time and thought I couldn’t help her. Damn it. I’ve been a fool. Why did she go back? I throw the covers off. I have to go and check on her.

  Not wanting to disturb the silence of the neighborhood with my car, I walk the darkened street like I used to. Only this time, rather than coming from the trailer park, I am only two blocks away. The crickets are screaming in the night’s silence. In no time I’m standing outside her house; all the lights are off. This used to be my sign that it was ok to come in, so I walk to her side of the house and try the window. Locked, damn. I turn to leave, but as I get back to the sidewalk I stop myself. A locked window would never stop me before.

  I go back to her window and use a credit card to slip the lock open. Cheap ass, Bob. He hasn’t changed the locks since the house was built, they’re no match for me; not in high school and definitely not now. As I climb through her window, the memories jolt through me. I can see the outline of her on her bed. She is lying perfectly still but I hear the hitch her in breathing that lets me know she’s awake. I don’t want to frighten her, so I whisper to her.

  “Skye? It’s me…Preston.”

  Her voice is so soft. “You shouldn’t be here.”

  I’m slightly disheartened. “Would you like me to leave?”

  “Yes.” As soft as she says it, it’s loud in my head.

  I can’t give up hope. “Are you sure?” I stay still until she answers, studying the outline of her in bed.

  “Yes, no…” her voice trails off.

  Oh thank fuck. I stand by the side of the bed, unsure of what to do. What I really want to do is get into bed with her. “Skye?”

  “Yes?”

  “Can I hold you? I promise I— uhh. I just need to hold you.”

  “I’d like that,” she says very softly.

  I kick off my shoes but leave all my clothes on, unlike how I used to get into her bed, but I just made a promise. In my excitement, I bounce in and she gasps.

  “Sorry,” I whisper and then pull her closer to me. I hear her suck in a breath again as I settle behind her. “Is everything alright?”

  She stills completely. “Yes, I’m just used to being alone now.”

  Guilt washes over me. I push her hair back and out of my face. I refrain from telling her I hope to change that. She makes my heart ache, she sounds so small right now. She must be exhausted from living like that for so long. She stays silent. I think I hear her sniffle, but it was so light I could be mistaken. I squeeze her, just so she knows words aren’t necessary.

  She yelps in pain which scares the living shit out of me and I let go. “What the fuck? Are you alright? I didn’t squeeze you that tight.”

  “I’m okay,” she says with a barely audible sniffle.

  “You’re crying.” I move away from her and turn to flick on the light beside the bed.

  “Preston, NO!”

  The light brightens the room and she hurriedly pulls the blanket over her head. “Let me see you,” I gently say. I don’t want her temper to flare.

  “No, turn the light off. Better yet, Preston, just go home.” She sighs.

  I narrow my eyes and press my lips together. She’s hiding something from me and the boy I used to be might have listened to her. But the man I have become wastes no time grabbing the comforter and with a quick yank, the blankets all come off the bed. My shock makes me drop them to the floor.

  “Oh my God, D… Skye. What the hell happened?” I feel as if I’ve been punched in the gut.

  “I fell?” She moves her face into the pillow.

  I march into her bathroom and get a washcloth, putting cool water on it. When I come back into the room I walk around the bed, so I can finally face her. The sight that greets me is one nightmares are made of. One of her eyes is swollen shut, her lips are split, and a slow burn of rage starts within my soul.

  “Bullshit, tell me.” I sit down on the side of the bed and press the cloth to her eye. She hisses out a breath.

  “I’d rather not talk about it, ok?”

  “No, it’s not ok. Where else are you hurt?” I stare into her face and use all of my self-restraint not to start searching her body. I push the curls off her face as I study the areas where she’s injured. These bruises were not made by a fall.

  “I’m fine.” She tries to give me a reassuring smile but as she does her lip cracks open and starts to bleed.

  “Talk to me.” I press the cloth now to her lip.

  She takes the rag from me and holds it to her mouth. “I’m fine, I’ll be okay. I always am.”

  “Damn it, Skye, just fucking tell me.” I grit my teeth, holding on to my temper by a thread, a very thin thread.

  “Why the hell do you even care!?” The venom in her voice burns me.

  “Everything I’ve ever done was with you in my mind.” She doesn’t realize she’s treading on thin ice right now. The calmness in my voice is a sure tell sign I am very close to losing my composure. I’m not the boy she once knew. Russia changed me.

  “Ugh…yeah…right!

  “Oh, we will talk about this later. Now tell me what the fuck happened.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” she says in a dejected voice.

  I can’t stand it anymore, she’s hurting, and I need to assess the damage. I lean over her and look into her eyes. I softly caress her face, tracing her bruises. “It does matter, you matter. I’m so freaking sorry for everything.”

  She closes her eyes, the swollen one an ugly shade of purple. She silently cries, and I use my thumb to gently swipe away her tears. “Don’t cry, Detka. Please don’t cry.” Fresh tears gather at the corner of her eyes; it feels so natural to lean down and kiss them away. I’m surprised that she has allowed my touch. I ache for her. My fingers gently examine her face, and I start giving light massaging squeezes down her arms. I watch her and note each area she tenses after my touch.

  “Please don’t call me that…please.” She hiccups.

  “I’m sorry, I’ll do my best not to.” As I gently touch her ribs, she stiffens and bites her lower lip. “Show me.” I say it low but firm. I expect a fight from her, but to my surprise, she looks at me through swollen eyes, grits her teeth and adjusts herself in my lap so that she can pull up her T-shirt to expose her ribs.

  “Shit! Who did this to you? I know you didn’t fall.” I bring my hand back to her face and cup it, staring deep into her eyes. Since she has only been home for a few hours, I know deep down, my mother was right. I can’t believe how stupid I’ve been all these years, how I failed her. It’s worse than I imagined.

  “My father.”

  “I’m going to kill him.” My blood starts racing through my veins feeding my rage when she confirms it.

  “No, don’t risk yourself.”

  I set her gently on the bed. “We need to get some pain relief into you.”

  I’ve taken these steps into her bathroom so many times before. There is a bottle of ibuprofen sitting on the counter, brand new in the box. Someone knew to drop this off. I think back on how many times at night she used to have aches and pains. Jesus, how long has this been going on? I’m such a fool.

  When
I enter her room again she is sitting there watching me with expressionless eyes.

  Rage…That’s all I feel.

  I feel as if a sledgehammer has just slammed me in my stomach. “How long has this been happening?”

  She presses her lips together in a stubborn line.

  “Please, Skye?” I move over to her and hand her two pills and some water. “Take this.”

  She takes her time, almost like she’s stalling. I sit down on the edge of the bed and cradle her face as she swallows the pills. “Please tell me, please?” I beg her.

  “A long time,” she says very softly.

  “Can you remember when it started? I’m sorry, D…Skye, I just have to know.” My plea sounds desperate and it is. I don’t think she understands how I am feeling right now, not like a man at all.

  “Remember when my Grams died?”

  I nod my head. “Yeah, wasn’t it like kindergarten or pre-school?”

  “Yeah, you have a good memory.”

  “I remember everything about us, all of it, Skye. Even my mistakes, shit especially my mistakes.” I know that’s currently an elephant in the room, but she needs to know.

  “It started the night her will was read.”

  I get up from the bed, shocked by this bombshell, and start pacing back and forth by the side of her bed. I stop midstride and look at her. “Are you kidding me? You were a baby!” I have no words. My fists, however, want to have a few words with Bob.

  “Not exactly. Just forget I said anything.”

  “Oh no, I won’t forget a single word. I repeat…I’m going to kill him. I’ve been so freaking dumb.” I make another turn around the room, seeing red.

  “Don’t worry, it’ll all be over soon.”

  I keep pacing back and forth, barely hearing her. All these years, all this time. I’ve let down the very best thing in my life. While she was being my sunshine, I was too stupid to notice she was living in complete Hell.

  “I’m taking you home.” I stop walking the room and look down at her.

  “I’m already home.”

  “The hell you are, you never belonged here.” I sit back down beside her and as she opens her mouth to reply, I hold a finger up to my lips. “Shhh, don’t say anything but yes…let me take care of you. My mother would be so happy to have you around, please?”

  She sighs. “Okay, for now. I’ll find somewhere else to go later.” I don’t like the circumstances that have made her say yes, but I can’t help but be elated that at least she’ll be under my roof and my protection.

  “Need to pack a bag?”

  She looks around her room for a moment, then shrugs. “No, it looks like they threw out all my stuff. There’s nothing here I need, let’s just go.”

  I glance around and all of Skye’s personal touches are gone. I can’t change the past, but what’s within my power is the future and I can protect her from these people moving forward. I scoop her into my arms, ignoring her squeal. I know I didn’t hurt her, I was gentle and mindful of her injuries as I picked her up, she’s just resisting me.

  “I can walk, Preston,” she hisses.

  “I’m going to help you out of the window, that’s all. If we go through the house I can’t be held responsible for my actions and right now I just want to get you far away from here.”

  She watches me for a second and then she nods.

  I walk her over to the window and she opens it silently so that I can pass her through it. I lower her gently so that she can stand for herself and then I hop through after her. I hold out my hand for her in the darkness, not knowing if she will take it, but she slips her small hand into mine and squeezes.

  We set off quietly and I resist the urge to look over my shoulder. Skye must have also been thinking about her father possibly watching us from the house, because she clenches my hand a little tighter as we walk away from the house.

  The walk to my house takes about fifteen minutes in the dark. She doesn’t complain about her aches.

  “I can carry you the rest of the way,” I offer after she limps over a curb.

  “I can make it, thank you though.”

  There is a comfortable silence as we round the corner to my home. Skye gasps as she takes in the reality of who I have become, but she doesn’t question me. I know that conversation will come, but for now it is pushed aside. Silently, I let us into the house and I take her straight to my bedroom. I look down at her, her eyes fighting to stay open.

  “Get in bed, you look like you’re going to collapse.”

  She gingerly lays down on the bed, taking her time settling down. Sitting on the side of the bed, I examine her face. She’s silent as she watches me through hooded eyes. I should have hurt the bastard.

  I gather some cool cloths from the bathroom then come back to her. I’m only gone a few minutes, but when I return I find her sound asleep, the feeling of safety obviously relaxing her enough to succumb to sleep.

  I gently lift her ankle to move it onto the bed, but her foot is jerked out of my grasp and she swiftly kicks at my hands. I look up to find she still has her eyes closed but her lips are pressed together in a firm line.

  I hold her foot a little bit tighter just to protect myself from getting kicked, and the sound that she makes is a heart-wrenching anguished wail, only it’s small and childlike. “No…no…no... Please not that.” She starts pulling her feet up toward her. I’m completely shocked, realizing I'm possibly dealing with more than just the beatings. How the hell did she hide this for so long?

  “Skye!” I say sharply, hoping she snaps out of it. Nothing. I think back to all the times she’s had nightmares, and the only thing that helped was me holding her. I move closer, gently grasping her shoulders and leaning in close to say her name softly in her ear, “Skye, wake up!” giving her shoulders a little shake.

  Her eyes pop open, scared. I can see the confusion in them. We have time for questions later, right now I’m worried about the bruise on her face and the state of her ribs. I pick up the cold compress and apply it to her swollen face. She doesn’t make a sound, words aren’t necessary right now. I can see it in her eyes, she is tired and shaken up. “Hold this,” I instruct her, waiting for her to lift her hand and hold the cloth to her eye. “I’ll be right back.” I leave the room for a brief moment; she needs ice not just cool cloths. I return with a bag of frozen peas and a small glass of whiskey.

  Leaning over her, I lift the amber liquid to her lips. She shakes her head.

  “Drink, it will make you feel better,” I gently encourage her.

  “It will burn.”

  “Shit, you’re right.” I set the class aside and run out of the room for a straw. The bar is in my study in a room next door, so it only takes me seconds.

  When I put the straw in she takes the glass and sucks the liquid dry. After she swallows, she lets out a small hiss as she feels the burn of the whiskey.

  I pull the covers over her and press the peas on her face. “Get some rest, you’re safe here. I’ll take care of you, my mom’s here too, so rest.” She nods her head and hunkers down in the covers. The day has taken a heavy toll on her and I can’t blame her, a weaker woman would be in hysterics right now.

  She doesn’t take long to fall asleep. I get into bed next to her, moving close so she knows I am here for her, but sleep won’t come to me for a long time. I lay back staring at the ceiling, thinking how in the hell am I going to fix this.

  Eleven

  When I wake, the room is fairly dark, and I can only make out the outline of furniture. There is a moment where I don’t know where I am, and I tense. Instantly I feel a strong arm around me and a hand brushing my skin in comfort. Preston. I relax slightly, I’m safe. It takes another second for me to realize that I’m not only laying on his chest, but next to my cheek it’s a bit damp. I drooled all over him in my sleep. I want to slide out of bed and hide, but this house is unfamiliar to me. I gently pull myself away and put some distance between us. I’m not ready for all of this.r />
  His sleepy voice startles me. “Morning, Skye.” He withdraws his hand and slides out of bed. The room is getting brighter by the second. He must not have blackout blinds that cut the desert’s rising sun. When he stands, I can’t take my eyes off him.

  His back muscles are defined. I frown as I see what looks like scars on his back.

  “What happened to your back?” I squint trying to get a better view.

  He pulls on a t-shirt covering his back. “I’ll tell you the story another time.”

  “Why not now?”

  “To be blunt? I don’t think I have it in me today to tell you the story. My nerves are already shot from yesterday. Damn, I sound like a pussy.”

  “We can talk later about it, but a pussy? Honestly, Preston, vaginas birth babies and go back to normal. I’d say you were being more of a penis. Soft and tender.” I crack a small smile, mindful of my lip.

  It’s amazing that after the last few years of feeling nothing romantic at all that the one person that hurt me is making me feel those feelings again. Preston’s the only one I have ever wanted more than a passing glance at. With him I wanted everything.

  I shift myself higher on the pillow, and bite back a moan. It must be time for some more pain medicine.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I think I need some Advil or something.”

  “I’ll get it, you stay put.” He walks off to what I assume is the bathroom in the master suite.

  His thighs are so thick and muscular. Un-freaking-believable…even better than I remember. I can’t keep my eyes off him. I have to remind myself not to get too attached; everything with him comes so easy and effortless, but he left me. I can’t forget that.

  As he comes back toward the bed, I quickly move my eyes off him. I don’t want him thinking I’ve been watching him. I can’t let him think I’m interested. I intended on just plopping back into my pillows, but my head smacks into the headboard with a loud thump. “Ow! Motherfucker,” I yell as I reach up to rub my head.