Immortal Scars

by A L Williams

  I studied him. “Isn’t that selfishness from you?”

  He glanced at me. “I have no control over choices. Humans blame me for their shortcomings.”

  I chuckled. "The same could be said of Gabriel's actions." He glanced at me and then looked down.

  Touching the table with his fingers, he dragged them along the dusty surface. “I was just passing through. America was so young. When I met her, I could sense her strength.” He furrowed his brows. “She was different. Wise beyond her years.” I smiled. “I would slip in and spend time with her,” he said. My skin warmed, and my mind drifted to Andrew.

  He frowned. “To my surprise, she was pregnant. I never thought I would sire a child. I made a mistake.” My stomach twisted. He turned to me. ""You were not a mistake, but I never should have allowed any of this to happen. I did not want to leave. Know that." My chest tightened as his words settled around me.

  "Why did you?" I asked.

  He looked down at the ground. "It's not important. Just know that I did not have a choice."

  I furrowed my brow. “Will you have to go again?”

  “Yes.”

  I clenched my hands in my lap. “There has to be away you can stay.”

  He met my gaze with one of sorrow. “So much like your mother.”

  ~

  A week later, the sun faded below the western mountains. Goosebumps rose on my arms from the cold air conditioning as I wiped down empty tables, the bustle of people loud around me. I thought of Andrew’s warm body against mine, my skin heating at the memory of our night together. I wondered what he was doing. I frowned. I couldn’t worry about that now. I needed to focus on Gabriel. A fight was coming. Did I have the strength? And the most important question was why? The amount of anger that they radiated seemed excessive. What did Dad do to them?

  I blinked.

  Dad…

  I smiled to myself. He was my father and over the last several weeks we had become closer. I was even starting to read through his blank indifferent attitude.

  The bell rang, and I glanced up. I opened my mouth to greet the newcomer and saw my father walk in. Corbin strolled out of the kitchen and looked at him and then me, his brow furrowed. “Who’s that?”

  I rubbed the back of my head. "Oh. Turns out he’s my father.”

  Hayley walked over from the register, stopping beside Corbin. She did a one-eighty to the front counter when he frowned at her. He turned to me. “He looks too young to be your father.”

  “Uh, we have good genes.” I blurted.

  I rushed to my father as customers looked at him with fear.

  “What do you want?” I glanced around, spotting Corbin watching.

  “I contacted a friend. He has something to show us. His information has always been useful to me.” He narrowed his eyes at the passing strangers as the approached the counter.

  “Okay, well I can't go.”

  “Why?”

  I sighed. “I’m working.”

  He walked past me and approached Corbin. “He is leaving for the day.” Corbin gawked at him. I ran over and glared at him.

  “That’s not how you ask for things,”

  He stared at me, his expression blank. “I am not asking.”

  I shook my head and turned to Corbin. “Is it okay if I leave? It’s important.”

  “Sure.” He narrowed his eyes, examining my father. “Be careful.”It warmed my heart to see that Corbin cared so much. Why didn’t I see it before?

  Hayley walked back over. “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing,” Corbin and I said in unison.

  He grabbed Hayley’s arm and dragged her to the register as she pouted.

  “Let’s go,” my father said, walking towards the door. He walked into a nearby alley, examining the surroundings. He walked into a nearby alley, examining the surroundings. I followed. When I stopped in front of him, he released his massive wings. Sunlight danced along each fiber of the feathers, making them almost shimmer. No matter how many times I saw them, their beauty took my breath away. I made a mental note to ask him what flying was like.. He curled them in, folding them around me and the busy streets faded into darkness.

  ~

  When he unwrapped them, I found myself surrounded by a sandy and rocky landscape. The ground below my feet cracked, stretching out into the distance. Thick-stemmed yellow and green grass circled an old home with other houses and trailers further back on the property. The wind whistled as dogs barked into the air. We approached the large, aged adobe style home with split walls and water stains.

  Once we reached the deck, a man stepped out with a big smile curling his thin lips. His skin was sun-tanned with tiny spots and wrinkles, a sign of his age. Long, salt and pepper hair rained down to his tan button-up. He moved down from the steps, his worn jeans creasing around his legs. I studied him, noting that he was no taller than six foot, but he had an air of authority about him that demanded respect. “Hello.” My father said.

  “Well, Morning Star, it has been years,” Steven said.

  My father looked him over. “Yes, it has. You have grown old.”

  Steven laughed. “And you remain a ray of sunshine, as always.” My father glared and tensed as Steven yanked him close in a hug. I snickered, grabbing Steven's attention. He pulled away and moved towards me. “Hello. You look nothing like your daddy. You got lucky.”

  “He is my son.” My father said.

  Steven grinned and glanced at me. “ He was never very sharp with humor.”.

  My father walked up to Steven. “You said you had information.”

  Steven’s eyes sparkled. “Finally, I can have a little fun after all these years.”

  He guided us inside. There were rooms in every direction, meeting in the kitchen. Art from many cultures and jewelry crafted out of precious or semi-precious stones decorated the walls and ceiling. There were carvings made of wood and twine. Alongside them, paintings of different types littered each corner. I stepped further into the house and stopped next to the wooden table. An assortment of pipes and ashtrays covered it. Steven moved up beside me. “He spoke of you often.”

  “Really?” I said, glancing back at my dad who stood in silence. I turned to Steven.

  He grinned. “He has a stick up his ass, but he’s got a big heart. Don’t let him fool you.”

  "We did not come here for this nonsense," my father said, glaring at the other man.

  Steven chuckled again. “Alright, alright, party pooper. Let's get this over with.”The room grew colder and his eyes began to glow red like a rubies kissed by moonlight. "Give me your hands." He held up his palms.

  The air stilled as I placed my hands in his. The hair on the back of my neck rose, power radiating from his core.

  The room faded into darkness, melting away. Seconds later, a place I remembered well appeared before me. We stood inside a shack made of worn wood that peeled from the walls and beams. I peered at the old furniture scattered about and the smell of mildew filled my nose. "What— ? Where— ?" I stuttered, yanking my hands out of his.

  I looked at Steven, his eyes still glowing. “Look.” He pointed behind me.

  My heart slammed against my chest when I spotted my mother. I inched closer. She was on her back, on top of a pile of blankets, covered in sweat. Other slave women ran around the room. In her arms, a bundle lay, making soft cooing noises. She stroked the baby’s cheek, love shimmering in her eyes. “My beautiful baby boy. A gift from God.”

  Everything changed again, and we were in a massive hall. White fluffy clouds surrounded us. The walls and pillars of marble were accented with golden trim. The great doors that stood like Mount Olympus swung open. Two figures approached. The one dressed in golden armor was Gabriel, their wings swaying behind them. The other, with an indistinguishable face, wore robes of pure white that shined.

  “Father, we must end the child,” they said.

  “We must do no such thing. He is a gift.” The other said, their voice holdi
ng a genderless ethereal quality.

  I glanced at my father. He met my gaze. "That is Father."

  I furrowed my brow and turn to the scene. God continued to walk.

  “He is the offspring of the fallen one.” They ran after him.

  God stopped. “I will not punish that boy for the sins of his father.” God’s eyes softened. “Let it go, child. I have punished the Morning Star. It is done.” He disappeared into the clouds.

  “They slammed their fist into a pillar and cracks spread across the smooth stone.

  “It will never be done. You had everything, and you threw it away.” They growled. “And, even now, you are his favorite.” They stormed off.

  The scene faded into black again and I was among fields of snow-white cotton imprinted in my memory. Laughter came from the distance and a woman's voice called.

  “James!” My fifteen years-old self ran past us, weaving through the tall stocks of cotton. I glanced towards the main house. Thomas and his friends approached. Behind them a light burned bright. The turned back and Gabriel appeared before them.

  "What in heavens— " Thomas said. Gabriel's wings sprung from their back and they snapped their hand up and the boys clamped their mouth shut.

  “You will be useful,” they said. The boys froze, fear spreading across their faces. Gabriel started to shine and faded into whiffs of light, drifting towards the boys and absorbing into their skin. Their eyes shone white, and they turned, heading straight for my younger self.

  The events that haunted my nightmares unfolded before me. My mother curled into herself as the kicks and punches continued. I dashed towards her, but my father grabbed me. I struggled.

  “This is just a whisper of what was.” His face softened. “It will be alright, James.” I went limp in his arms, falling to my knees with tears blurring my vision. I gazed back at my mother’s burning corpse as it faded into darkness. Moments later, we were back in Steven’s house. I blinked.

  “Didn’t I tell you I had something good?” Steven said. I looked down at the floor and balled my hands into fists. Gabriel had manipulated everything. They killed my mother. I clenched my jaw. I had to stop them. I wasn’t sure how, but I had to find a way.

  After some time, I pulled myself to my feet and turned to the seer. "Thank you."

  He grinned. "No problem. Go get 'um."

  Chapter Seventeen

  Andrew

  When my Mambo had asked me to show my true self to our people, I freaked out. If they knew, they'd leave. She pushed, reassuring me they would not. I didn't want to, but it was unwise to ignore her wisdom. When I arrived home, I led my people inside. We moved through the hall, everything James told me spinning in my mind. Gabriel was the reason for the fire on the plantation. TThe shadow of pain in his eyes made my heart ache and boil boil. It was good news in the fact that James wasn’t responsible, but the question was did he really believe that?

  I lead the others my people to the hidden room, down my hallway. They stood around me as I floated out of my body. It was strange. I hadn't been in this form for years and it didn't help that the loa were louder. I looked around in fear, stunned by what I saw. They stared at me with awe and wonder. "See, boy?" Mambo said, walking over. "You're our Houngan no matter what." I glanced over at her as she moved closer with a smirk on her face. I looked back at the others once again. The moonlight danced off of multiple faces that filled the room. "Shall we?" he asked.

  "Yes," I replied. They drew a circle on the floor around me and I drifted into it, the power of their faith flowing through me. The faint sound of chanting drifted over me. I hovered Over them as whispered chants fell from their lips. The echo of drums vibrated against the walls. The loa tugged on me as the beat grew louder.

  No.

  Come home, brother.

  No.

  You belong with us.

  No.

  I pushed them away and continued the ritual, their whispers lingering.

  Sometime later the moon was at its peak in the sky, sending rays of cool light through the room.

  “Andrew?”

  I glanced towards the exit and found James standing there, his eyes wide. "James." I shifted closer as he stared down at my form and then at me. He backed up, hitting the door with his back. I watched him, as his face twisted in confusion. "Don’t be afraid."

  His brow furrowed. “What— ?”

  “It’s me, Andrew. This body has been my home for ten years,” I said.

  “You’re not human?” His voice shook.

  “No,” I wanted to wipe away the look of betrayal the moment is crossed his. The disappointment cut deep.

  He turned and rushed out of the room. My mind spun as I re-entered my body, and my heart slammed against my chest. I ran after him. When I caught up, he was opening his car door. "James!" I yelled. I dashed over to him.

  He gripped the car door. “No. How could you keep this from me? My mother and father lied to me. I didn't think you would, too. I trusted you.”

  My heart sank, and I watched him get in and speed away. I looked around as my Mambo and the others came out. I turned to her.

  “You didn't tell him,” she said. I shook my head and looked down at the ground.

  Fuck.

  ~

  My gloved fist hit the punching bag with a loud thud, making Ben jerk away. He stood behind the bag, holding it in place as I continued to strike and snap my fist back close to my body. I took measured breaths, attacking the bag as sweat streamed down my face. James showing up at my house yesterday drifted through my mind and I clenched my jaw, speeding up my punches. I wasn’t prepared for that, and seeing the hurt almost killed me.

  Why didn't I tell him?

  The thud of the bag grew louder as I threw my fists, striking it full-force. If I was honest with myself, I had been stalling. What if I disgusted him? What if he hated me for not being human? He was half-angel, but being an angel and being a spirit were very different things. All of this had twisted in my gut for weeks, even though I had decided to tell him. My fist made contact with the bag once again, the impact making Ben slide back with a grunt.

  “Woah! Woah! I'm strong, but that doesn't mean this shit doesn't hurt," he said. I stopped, looking up at him. I rubbed the back of my head with my gloved hand and turned, walking over to the bench and pulling off my gloves.The other bodybuilder pump iron with low grunts that filled the room. The place overflowed with thuds, smack, and the sound of sliding metal as I grabbed my towel and wiped away the sweat that started to drip into my eyes. "What's going on?" Ben asked.

  I frowned. "Nothing." I laid down on a nearby weight bench. "Spot me." He got behind me and I moved into position. I lifted the weight, feeling the flex of my muscles as I hauled the barbell up, held for a second and lowered it to my chest. After ten sets, I heaved the weight bar up and he grabbed it, putting it back on the standing bars.

  He walked over and sat on the bench across from me “Andy, something happened with angel boy, didn't it?"

  Sitting up, I looked down at the padded floor. “His name is James. I didn't tell him. I was going to, but I didn't get a chance. He showed up at my house with dinner. I was out of my body,” I said, scanning the room to make sure no one heard.

  “Crap.”

  “Yeah.”

  “What are you planning to do?” he asked. I furrowed my brow. What was I going to do? I could grovel, but I doubted that would do much good. I had lied to him. And after all the lying and deception in his life, I could imagine how he was feeling. I wanted to punch myself for being such an idiot. My heart told me to get to him and try to explain, but that wasn't the answer. No matter what I did, he had to trust me. I couldn't make him.

  "I have to wait for him to come to me."

  He tilted his head. "What if he doesn't?" I bit the inside of my cheek. He was right. James could just never talk to me again. My stomach twisted at the thought of losing him. All the happiness we shared — slipping from my fingers.

  I pu
shed that away. "I have to trust that he will."

  He grunted. "This is why I don't do relationships. People are too unpredictable."

  "You have to trust someone," I said.

  He stood, returning to the weight bench. "I have you." I chuckled. He was impossible, but his pain was his own and he had to overcome it. So did James. He had to make a decision, and I had to accept it, even if I would never see him again. I laid back down and continued to bench press, hoping with all I could that he wouldn’t walk away forever.

  Chapter Eighteen

  James

  The air carried a chill, plants crunching and crumbling underfoot. I hadn’t seen or spoken to Andrew. He hadn’t tried to contact me, and I was thankful. I didn’t know what he was, but I couldn’t trust him. My heart was heavy in my chest as I walked into work. I was mad at him, but if I was honest with myself, I missed him. So much. It confused me. I went to Andrew’s house, wanting to surprise him with Chinese food for dinner. The last thing I expected was to walk into that— whatever that was standing over Andrew’s body. I should have known that trusting him was a bad idea. It wasn't the fact that he wasn't human. I wasn’t, but…

  He lied.

  You were right.

  You can’t trust him.

  He lied.

  I handed the final customer their change. The sun dipped low in the sky, sending sharp rays of light through the windows. The store was closed for the night. It had just been Corbin and I. Hayley had an exam. Counting the money in the register drawer, I thought of Andrew and our night together. My heart sank.

  Was it the last time?

  Corbin came out of the kitchen, carrying a box of napkins. I jumped, my heart hammering in my chest. Why did he have to sneak up like that? He looked at me and shook his head with a smile.

  He gathered all the dispensers off the tables and started to stock the front. “You alright? Why are you so skittish? Did something happen between you and your cop friend?”