Redeemed (Dirty Air Series Book 4)

by Lauren Asher

  “You found me.”

  “Yup. I couldn’t believe it, to be honest. I mean—It was like something you see in a movie. But here I am, sitting with you.”

  He nods. “I took the test after someone gave it to me as a gift. I was curious to see where my ancestors were from, but I didn’t expect it to connect me to anyone.”

  “I’m glad that you took it.” I lace my fingers together in front of me.

  Matteo’s eyes soften. “What was it like growing up with your mother?”

  “Are you sure you want to know?”

  He nods, but he looks very unsure.

  I settle with telling him the truth because I might as well rip the Band-Aid off now. “It’s obvious she used me for the government payout. I hated living with her, but my first social worker kept trying to reunify us and give her a chance. That was until she started dating Ralph. Her boyfriend was creepy with me, and I caught him in my room on multiple occasions. I lived every day in fear, hoping there was something better for me in the world.”

  It’s the rawest I’ve been with someone about my situation. I might have accepted my history, but it doesn’t make the facts any easier to swallow. Instead of hiding the stirring emotions inside of me, I raise my chin and look Matteo in the eyes.

  This is me. I rally. I fight. I make it through the day in hopes of a better tomorrow.

  “I’m so sorry, Chloe. I hate to hear how awful you were treated. No child should ever grow up in a situation like that.” His voice cracks.

  “It’s okay.” I look away, unable to handle the weight of his sincere gaze. “I didn’t have to live like that for too long. After an accident, I was reassigned to an amazing social worker who helped me get out of my house and into a good foster home. The foster care system took good care of me, and I met my best friend, Brooke, that way. I consider myself lucky in some ways.”

  “How can you make light of such traumatic experiences?”

  “Because in the end, I’m here now. Yeah, the journey to get here wasn’t the easiest one, but I have you and that’s what matters. It’s exactly what I wished for. The past is the past, but my future is brighter than ever.” I beam.

  Matteo’s eyes drop to his lap again.

  Did I come on too strong?

  Matteo fists his palms in unison. Tension ripples up his arms at the gesture.

  Yeah, definitely came on too strong.

  Matteo lifts his head. His eyes shine, and wetness clings to his lashes. He clears his throat. “I know I can’t take away the pain you went through, but will you let me try?”

  My chest aches in the best kind of way. His acceptance is everything I wanted and wished for. I nod my head, happy to finally feel like I’ve found a home after so many years.

  Santiago pounces on me the moment I unlock the front door.

  I scream and jump back. My arms fly out to my sides as I lose my footing.

  “Sorry!” He grabs onto my arm to prevent me from falling.

  “What are you doing, creeping at the door like a freaking murderer?”

  His wild eyes scan my face. “It’s late.”

  “I didn’t know I had a curfew, Dad.”

  “Why were you gone for so long?” He frowns.

  “Because Matteo and I had a lot to talk about.”

  “And what did you two talk about?” Exasperation leaks into his voice.

  “You’re acting strange right now and it’s weirding me out.”

  “Sorry, I’ve been dying to know how he reacted after everything.” His voice seems hesitant as he lingers on the last word.

  “Well, he seemed a lot more relaxed today. He asked me a lot of questions about myself.”

  “Oh.”

  Somehow one word carries the weight of Santiago’s disappointment. Why is he acting like this? I thought he would be ecstatic about Matteo’s sudden enthusiasm.

  “Yeah…”

  “I want to hear more about it.” Santiago steers us toward the living room.

  We settle into the couch, and I throw my legs over his lap. Despite his odd behavior, it’s comforting knowing we have our little rituals. Especially this one where he gives me the best foot massage without me having to ask. If I was searching for a husband, he would be first on my list.

  Seriously, what guy ever offers a foot massage?

  The kind I want to date. I push the thought away for later tonight when I can stew in them properly. “Are you going to stop being weird now? I’ll only share what happened if you stop acting like I’m about to bolt from the room any second or break down and cry. It went way better than last time. I swear.”

  He nods and looks down at my feet on his lap. “Yeah. Sorry about my reaction. I was just worried about you.”

  My heart throbs in my chest at his sincerity.

  “Aw, that’s sweet.” I poke his chest with my foot.

  “I’m glad to hear it went well.” He looks up and smiles at me. Nothing about his voice sounds happy, but I let him be. He must’ve been pretty worried for his mood to be this awful even after I confirmed I was okay.

  He clutches onto my foot and goes to work.

  I sigh and sink into the cushions, enjoying his touch. “Did you know Matteo was arrested one time for running down the streets of Milan naked? And I mean fully naked.”

  He offers me the smallest smile known to man. “No, but I’m sure you’ll tell me all about it.”

  And I do just that, sharing all the different stories Matteo told me during our day together. Everything feels like it’s finally clicking into place, and I love every second of it. Not only is Matteo coming around, but everything with Santiago is perfect. He’s perfect. I’d be stupid not to pursue a more serious relationship that he clearly wants.

  Now that my relationship with Matteo is secure, I have an intense desire to embrace the second scariest thing I’ve ever done.

  Fall in love.

  42

  Santiago

  With an agitated finger, I press the buzzer on Matteo’s gate for a third time. Patience is a thing of the past after spending the entire night pretending I didn’t know about Matteo’s secret.

  He better pray for mercy because my mood hit new lows ever since Chloe fell asleep after last night. I barely slept, stuck overthinking everything she shared about her father.

  This is what I get for trusting someone who didn’t deserve it in the first place. The piece of shit told her a bunch of stories, and who the fuck knows if they are even true. And now, not only did I have to sneak out of the house for a second time in two days, but I had to do it to visit this idiot.

  Matteo Accardi is on my shit list, and nothing and no one can convince me otherwise.

  I press the button for the fourth time and pace the paved area. Sun rays peek through the early morning clouds, lighting up the area with a faint glow.

  The old gears groan in protest as the gate opens. I stride toward the front door and knock three times. My teeth grind together as I wait minutes for Matteo to grace me with his presence.

  Matteo doesn’t bother looking me in the eyes when he opens the door. He doesn’t even look rumpled in his pajamas. How charming. I’m here feeling like a mess from guilt-ridden insomnia while he looks fresh as a baby after a fat nap.

  “What exactly did you not understand about telling Chloe the truth?” I snap.

  He has the audacity to look surprised. “Listen, I can explain.”

  “By all means, please do, because I’m curious how the fuck you plan on getting us out of this motherfucking mess you created.”

  Matteo gestures for me to come inside. It’s like I’m repeating this damn nightmare every day like a screwed-up remake of Groundhog Day.

  Matteo leads me into his run-down kitchen. His hands shake as he grabs a pitcher of water and pours himself a glass.

  “Matteo. I need you to get to the point of this story because I’m about two seconds from flipping my shit. And you really don’t want that to happen.”

  He sips
his water and places it back on the counter. “I couldn’t do it.”

  “No fucking shit you couldn’t do it. I was able to draw that conclusion myself when Chloe came back to my house looking like she floated in on a damn cloud.”

  “She shared her story and it was too much. I didn’t expect her life story to be…”

  “Tragic?”

  He nods. “She has always been happy around me. I thought she was a normal girl, you know?”

  “Her past doesn’t change the fact that you’re not her father. Nor does it mean you should keep the truth from her. I gave you a day to sort this out, and you didn’t.”

  His eyes slide from me to his fisted hands. “I’ve been thinking.”

  A cold feeling sweeps through me. He can’t be stupid enough to actually suggest what I think he wants to.

  “What if—”

  Yup. It’s official. He downgraded from being an idiot to brain-dead. “No.”

  “Hear me out.”

  “No. Hell fucking no. That’s wrong on so many levels, I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

  “But what harm would it do? He was my twin, and she’s my niece. She deserves to have someone take care of her. Her mother”—he shudders—“she’s disgusting.”

  “I’m well aware of how awful that woman is. Trust me. I’ve had the pleasure of dealing with her myself. But she’s not going to bother her anymore. And Matteo, you can’t pretend to be someone’s father! No. That’s not an option.” I can’t believe his plan after all the trouble he gave me the other day about confessing his identity in the first place. How can a situation that was already terrible to begin with get progressively worse by the day?

  Someone put an end to this nightmare. Either that or a bullet to my head would be merciful.

  He clasps his hands together. “She wouldn’t have to know.”

  “I couldn’t live with myself if she didn’t know the truth.”

  “Do you love her?”

  I don’t hesitate. “Of course I do. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

  “Then don’t make me destroy her. Think about what the truth would do to her.”

  “That’s all I’ve done. And it’s the only reason I would say no to your idea in the first place. I love her too much to let you lie to her for the rest of her life.”

  He shakes his head. “You’re making a mistake. You and I both know that an uncle can’t replace what she has been desperately searching for.”

  “What people want isn’t always what they need. She’ll understand that eventually. But telling her the truth is non-negotiable. If you don’t do it, then I will, and my version won’t be as forgiving of your mistakes. You get me?”

  His eyes darken. “Are you threatening me?”

  “Read into it however you want. I’d do anything to protect her, even if it’s from you. And you not telling her the truth and filling her head with false stories is not what we agreed on. You’re doing more harm than good, and if you continue, I’ll have no choice.”

  “The stories were all real. I just pretended they were from my perspective instead of my brother’s.”

  My jaw ticks. “Matteo.”

  “Okay, okay. I get it.” He focuses on his hands.

  I stand. “Good. And I mean it, Matteo. You better tell her next time.”

  “I got it.”

  I nod my head, pleased with his submission. This isn’t about what either one of us wants. Chloe is old enough to make decisions on her own without either one of us playing God. There’s only one man calling the shots from upstairs and he does a fine enough job screwing up everyone’s life without us interfering.

  My phone rings, interrupting my breakfast with Chloe. “Sorry, give me a second.”

  She nods and takes a sip of her juice.

  I answer the call and pull the phone up to my ear. “Hello.”

  “Santiago, it’s James.”

  “Hey, James. How are you?”

  Chloe’s eyebrows dart up.

  “I have some good news and some news. Which one do you want to hear first?”

  “Good or bad?” I grip the phone.

  “Depends. How do you feel about meeting with the Formula Corp in two weeks?”

  I choke on my sudden intake of breath. “Two weeks?”

  “I pulled some strings so they could meet with us sooner. I didn’t want to wait until January, and they were willing to compromise for you.”

  “Did you threaten them?”

  “Only in a nice way.”

  I laugh, but the sound is off. Holy shit. I’m going to finally defend my case after years of hiding.

  “You still there?”

  “Yeah. I’m just shocked. You really want this to happen, don’t you?”

  “Don’t you?”

  I look over at Chloe and imagine her cheering me on at a race. Her in a Bandini shirt with my name written across it, smiling and enjoying herself with my family. There’s nothing I want more than to race again and have her be a part of the journey. Well, maybe to have her love me, but I don’t doubt she does. She only needs to realize it too.

  James coughs, gaining my attention again.

  “Yes. I want it.”

  “Great. Then you better get ready for all the preparations we need to do. It’s going to be a crash course of questions and answers. Noah and I will guide you through the process so that way the Corp has nothing to challenge.”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  “Honestly, I’m very proud of you, Santiago. No matter what they decide, you’re one of the strongest men I’ve had the pleasure of working with.”

  I clear my throat, trying to ease the tightness. “Oh, shucks. You’re going to make me cry.”

  He laughs. “I’m just saying. You shocked me this summer. I didn’t think you’d actually want to pursue this after everything you’ve been through, but you did. You have a way of surprising me lately.”

  I lean back in my chair and smile. “I like to keep you on your toes.”

  “Then how about I keep you on yours and offer you the best news. Bandini is willing to extend a racing contract to you. It’s only for a year as a trial run because the investors are picky bastards, but if I have it my way, they’ll see how successful you are next season and offer you a permanent deal. You could be in a Bandini race suit as early as two weeks if the Corp says yes.”

  The phone slips out of my hand and drops onto the floor.

  Chloe looks up at me. “Are you okay?”

  James continues speaking, but his voice comes out garbled because of the rug blocking the speaker. I remain seated, staring down at the floor.

  Chloe stands and picks up my phone. She places it back in my trembling hand, wraps my fingers around it, and brings it to my ear.

  “Did you get all that?” James continues.

  “No. You’re going to have to repeat everything after ‘Bandini is willing to extend a racing contract.’ I think I just had a heart attack.”

  James chuckles.

  Bandini wants me back. Chloe takes a seat on my lap and wraps her arms around my neck. Her presence calms me, forcing my heart back into its normal pace.

  James explains everything all over again, and Chloe remains by my side, running her hands through the hair at the nape of my neck.

  James confirms all the information for the next two weeks. I’m on autopilot, speaking only when absolutely necessary. It’s not until he hangs up the phone and Chloe tugs it out of my grasp that I finally move.

  Chloe shifts on my lap, wrapping her arms back around my neck. “What happened?”

  I bolt up from my chair, lifting Chloe up into the air and spinning us in a circle. Her scream turns into a laugh as I move round and round. The added weight bothers my stump, but I ignore it because who the hell cares right now.

  “Bandini offered me a contract. They want me to race for them again!”

  “WHAT?!”

  I spin her around again, loving the way she laughs up to the
ceiling. “James said it’s only for a year, but they want me to be the driver who replaces Noah if the Formula Corp approve me joining again.”

  “Of course they’re going to say yes! You should see yourself out on the track. You’re absolutely incredible!” She peppers my face with a bunch of kisses.

  “I couldn’t have done it without you. I never thought I would get in a car again, but you pushed me to try.”

  “You pushed yourself. I only nagged you about it all.”

  I set her back on her feet. “No. That only added to my motivation. But it wouldn’t have been there if it weren’t for you forcing me in the best way to accept myself. So thank you.” I place a lingering kiss against her lips.

  She secures her arms around the back of my neck, holding me close. A sheen covers her eyes, but she blinks it away. “Do you know how stupidly proud of you I am?”

  “No. But are you willing to show me?” I shoot her a wolfish grin.

  “You, Santiago Alatorre, are a secret pervert. Your mother would be ashamed.” She shoots me a breathtaking smile I can’t resist kissing off her face. Damn. This girl has turned me into a lovesick idiot after only a few months. I confused her for something magical, but in reality she’s a miracle.

  “We have to celebrate!” She claps her hands together.

  “We can after I meet with the Corp. I don’t want to jinx it, just in case they say no.”

  She pauses her clapping and turns on her heel, leaving me behind.

  “Where are you going?” I call out.

  “Hold on!” Her voice echoes from somewhere in the house.

  I pace the floor, considering what might happen if the Formula Corp denies the bill. My stomach churns at the idea. Now that I’ve had a taste of racing again, I’m not sure if I could ignore the pull toward the track anymore.

  Being denied would destroy me before I had a chance to return to my former glory.

  Chloe comes back into the room clutching a bubblegum pink notebook in her hand.