The Boyfriend Plan

by J. S. Cooper

  “And that’s how you do it.” He winked at me. “Lesson number one is done.”

  8

  Dear Diary,

  Most people want their friends to become friends with their other friends. But I don’t. Especially not when they gang up on me. It was a mistake telling Blake about my upcoming run, because he decided that he would join Gayle and me. He said it was perfect timing and he could help work as my ‘personal trainer’ for free. I wasn’t amused by his joke. The last thing I needed was someone else on my back, trying to encourage me into working out and running more. But of course Gayle thought it was a fabulous idea and invited him to join us this Saturday. And to make matters worse, the run has been moved to early morning to accommodate my lunch date with Ben and Jasmine. Does this sound like the work of two friends coming together for my good? I think not!

  My alarm clock went off at 5:15 a.m. Saturday morning, and I groaned. I was pretty sure this was going to go down as the worst Saturday in my life. I was also extremely worried that I would embarrass myself in front of both Gayle and Blake. Many people wondered why I was best friends with Gayle. They couldn’t understand what we could have in common. She was into fashion, health foods, and was an assertive editor at a top fashion magazine. She didn’t take crap and had little time for idle chat, gossip, and people with excuses. I was the antithesis of basically everything she valued in human beings, and yet, quite oddly, our friendship worked.

  Gayle and I met on the first day of college. We both got lost trying to locate our rooms, and I was marching up and down the hallway looking like a mad dog in heat. Gayle took me to the side and calmly told me that I should wait with her for the resident assistant, who would take us to our rooms. It all worked out pretty easily from there. We hadn’t been able to find our rooms because we were actually located on a different floor where we essentially ended up being next door neighbors. This turned out to be better than being actual roommates because I’m messy and she’s clean and it just wouldn’t have worked out if we had lived together.

  However, for a friendship, my lightness was what she needed to have some fun in life and her worrywart tendencies helped me to focus and concentrate on my studies when it was needed. Over time, she became a mother figure, but that’s because she feels her maternal clock ticking and I have the perfect laid-back type of personality that allows her to exercise her bossiness without feeling any sort of retribution.

  “Maggie, we’re here!” Gayle and Blake strode into my apartment looking like the morning people they both are. I brushed the sleep out of my eyes and gathered my curly hair back in a bobble. I was totally not up for this run, not at all. I glared at Gayle as much as I could while still being half-asleep and then turned to Blake. He gave me a huge smile and ruffled the top of my head. I tried to ignore the disappointment in me that he hadn’t tried to kiss me again. That kiss had been keeping me up at night.

  “Ready to go, Moo-moo?” he grinned.

  I hit him in the chest at his comment and gave him the harshest glare I could. I really didn’t want to be called Moo-moo, I hadn’t liked it as a child and I sure didn’t like it now. He grabbed a hold of my hand as I moved it away from his body and my fingers tingled as he held them for a few seconds.

  “Gimme a sec, folks. I’m nearly ready.” I said as I pulled away from him quickly. My body wasn’t sure how to act when it was around him.

  I saw Lucy glance up at all the activity going on in the room, but she quickly tucked her head back down and closed her eyes. Even though Lucy seemed to love running now, even she wasn’t foolish or eager enough to want to wake up early to do it. Traitor.

  I quickly ran into the bathroom and brushed my teeth and washed my face and came back out to see Blake staring at some of my family photographs and Gayle grabbing water bottles from the fridge.

  “Okay, folks, I’m ready.”

  Blake turned around with a sparkle in his eyes and looked me up and down. I wanted to slap him again but couldn’t be bothered to move over to the other side of the room. I was also scared that I would experience another warm rush of something through my body if I touched him again. Or even worse, maybe I’d ask him for lesson two in a way that showed him that I wanted it way too badly.

  It was beautiful watching the sun rise. Surprisingly, the run up the hill wasn’t so bad today. Maybe because my body is getting used to activity and maybe because I didn’t have Lucy charging ahead like a horse at the races. Blake ran alongside me while Gayle went ahead, calling back for us to increase our pace. Eventually she grew tired of stopping and waiting on us and just went on ahead.

  “So, how’s the book coming?”

  “It’s coming,” I huffed. The morning was too pure and beautiful for me to ruin it with any lies. “But enough about me, tell me about you, Blake. How goes your job? Do you love being a top-shot lawyer?”

  We reached the top of the hill then, and when Blake plopped down on the grass for a rest, I could have kissed him on the lips. I truly didn’t think my body would hold up for much longer.

  “You know, it’s funny. I always wanted to be a lawyer. I thought I’d be able to help people and make a difference in the world. That people would come up to me and thank me and that I’d be that person they would never forget in helping them turn their lives around. But...”

  “But you are making a difference. Aren’t you, like, the youngest partner in your firm?”

  “That’s not the difference I wanted to make, you know. Yes, I help rich people and corporations, and yes, CEOs thank me for finding tax shelters and interpreting code that is beneficial for them, but it’s not the same.”

  “I can understand that.” I looked into Blake’s eyes, and they were engaged, staring into mine as if he was trying to let me see into his soul. I squeezed his hand. “Can’t you do something else, then?”

  “It’s not that easy. I’m the head of the department, and ...” he trailed off. “Whoa, this is some powerful talk for an early Saturday morning. Let’s go catch up with Gayle.” He jumped up and pulled me up with him.

  “If you ever want to talk, Blake, I’m here.”

  “I know.” He reached over and gave me a kiss on the cheek then. And it was all I could do to tell my heart to behave.

  “Race ya!” And with that, he was off.

  I started off after him, laughing. It was a game we’d always played as kids. Mainly it was used as a way for Blake to run away from me when I was too annoying. Chad would tell me that we were playing hide-and-seek and then Blake would challenge me to a race. Needless to say, that would be the last I’d see of them for the remainder of the day.

  I stopped running after a few minutes and only quickened my gait when I saw Blake and Gayle heading back down toward me. They seemed to be laughing about something, and it made me a little jealous, but only because I hoped it wasn’t at my expense. I had a feeling that Blake and Gayle had more in common than just being my friends, and I wasn’t really ready or eager to see the two of them together in any sort of romantic way. Not because I would be upset, but because of the consequences if anything went wrong. I mean, of course I would support my best friend dating the man I thought I was beginning to have feelings for. My real problem would be how to choose between the two if they broke up. Gayle’s words broke into the dilemma I was solving in my mind.

  “So you’re meeting Jasmine today, huh?” Gayle grimaced at me. She knew I was not happy about the meeting and was likely hoping that I would finally get over Ben. It was weird because Gayle and Ben got along brilliantly, yet Gayle didn’t think Ben was good enough for me, and she always got really upset when I told her about the new girl he was dating. Somehow, it never seemed as if she was sad for me but rather for herself.

  “Yeah, another one of his bimbos. I don’t know how much more of this I can take,” I mumbled, annoyed. “I don’t know what his deal is.”

  “Whose deal?” Blake came up from behind us and joined in the conversation.

  “No one’s,” I sai
d at the same time as Gayle said, “Ben’s.”

  “Ben No-one?” Blake smiled. “I’ve never met him, have I?”

  “We are talking about Ben,” I sighed, “You know, my coworker.”

  “Oh, your true love? The one I was used to make jealous?” Blake grinned. I knew he would never let me forget that brunch.

  “Yes, him.” I scowled at him.

  “So what’s the big deal with him now? He hasn’t given you the engagement ring you want?”

  “Something like that.”

  “So am I invited to the wedding?” Blake looked at me. “As one of your oldest friends, I expect I’ll have a large role to play.”

  “Blake, you are the most incorrigible, irritating ...” I couldn’t continue because Blake’s laughs were drowning out my words. Before I knew it, both Gayle and I had joined in the laughter. It was quite pathetic, really.

  “Maggie’s going to lunch with Ben and his new girlfriend Jasmine today.” Gayle decided to impart Blake with the knowledge that I had been holding back.

  “Oh.” He gave me a look and I avoided his gaze.

  “Yes, oh. So as you can see, there will be no wedding for Maggie any time soon.”

  9

  Dear Diary,

  Playing the jealousy game can be a dangerous thing. Because at the end of the day, it can be you who ends up more confused than ever. Isn’t that how it always goes? Blake decided to come to my aid and join my lunch with Ben and Jasmine to help make Ben jealous, and, well, it worked a bit too well. Only thing is, Blake went completely over the top, and I got carried away myself, and now I’m in even more of a mess. Sometimes, I swear that Blake is my twin. Our minds both seem to be from another planet.

  It was Gayle’s suggestion, though I have to admit that once she brought it up, I thought it was a great idea. I was through with meeting Ben’s girlfriends and acting like the dutiful, yet sad, best friend. Every time I meet one of these girls, she looks at me in pity. It’s quite obvious to them all that I have a crush on Ben and that he sees me as nothing more than his best friend. The only good thing is they all soon lose the pitying looks, because they all quickly learn that as his best friend, I am more important to him than they are. However, that doesn’t console me on the cold, lonesome nights when they are entwined with him in his bed while I’m stuck watching old Meg Ryan movies on Netflix, snuggled up to Lucy. It’s with an odd sense of calm that I take his calls and texts in the early hours of the morning after he leaves them in post-coital bliss, deciding that he just has to tell me what a mistake he made staying over and how he hopes said woman didn’t take it to mean too much. I don’t know how many times I’ve had to lecture him on sleeping with women and departing in the middle of the night. How dreadfully he treats them! But how good that makes me feel! “He’s not in love with this one, either,” I always say to myself, “so maybe there’s still hope for me.”

  Blake agreed to come with me to the lunch because, as he put it, “a good dose of jealousy could help Ben see what he’s missing.” I wasn’t exactly sure why a professional man like Blake would actually want to get involved with my stupidity, but I warmed up to the idea pretty quickly. If he wanted to be my boyfriend coach, then who was I to say no?. To say Ben was a little put off when we walked into the restaurant together was an understatement, and I have to say, a little thrill ran through me as Blake and I sat down across from Ben and Jasmine, who looked like she was taken right out of a Disney cartoon.

  “Maggie, good to see you.” Ben gave me a kiss on the cheek. “And, sorry, I forgot your name?” He looked at Blake quizzically.

  “Blake.” He smiled. “And your name again?”

  “Ben.” He looked affronted that Blake could have forgotten his name. “This is Jasmine, my girlfriend.”

  Jasmine beamed with pride as if she had just been announced as the winner of the annual spelling bee, something I highly doubt she would make past the first round in.

  “Howdy, y’all.” Her perfect white teeth sparkled as she drawled her words. She swooshed her long, straight brown hair back and forth and fluttered her hands at us in a wave as if she were Ms. America saluting her fans.

  Instant dislike hit me. “Howdy.” I smiled back, flicking my curly wet hair with my hands.

  “Argh!” Jasmine screamed, wiping her face. Oops. My hair was still wet, and drops of water had hit her face after my flicking.

  “Oh, sorry,” I said sweetly, and then whispered under my breath, “Water’s not going to kill you.”

  Ben leaned over to Jasmine. “You okay, sweetie?” She smiled up at him. “I’m okay. I was just worried that water got in my eye and displaced my contact.”

  “Gimme a break,” I said, again under my breath. I could see Blake trying not to laugh.

  “So, Jasmine, what is it that you do?” I was going to put my best foot forward. I wanted to at least appear as if I was giving this bimbo a chance.

  “I’m getting my doctorate in cognitive science,” she answered me, sweetly. Water came spewing out of my mouth.

  “Are you okay, honey?” Blake patted my back as he stared at me with his eyes sparkling.

  “Just ... swallowed ... the ... water ... too quickly,” I got out, trying to keep the shock and disbelief out of my voice.

  “Cognitive science?” I turned to Princess Jasmine, not wanting to admit that I had no idea what that was.

  “Yes, I’m actually a student up at Berkeley, but I’m doing my primary research down here while teaching a class at UCLA.” Jasmine flounced her hair around a little bit more. I wanted to reach across the table and pull it out.

  “Oh.” I smiled.

  Blake reached over and squeezed my knee. “Ben, aren’t we lucky to be with such intelligent women?”

  Ben narrowed his eyes at Blake, but I wasn’t able to bask in the glory and wonder if he was jealous, because Jasmine asked me a question.

  “So what do you do then, Maggie? Ben’s told me so much about you and how you are always there for him. I would have guessed you were his therapist, but then I don’t think you would have so much time to listen to his problems if you had other clients.” Jasmine laughed at her little joke.

  “I work with Ben at ‘We Love to Read’. Surely he told you that? Or is your mind too full of your studies that you can’t remember what your boyfriend told you?” I realized too late that I sounded like a bitch, so I quickly added, “Just kidding. I know Ben is absent-minded, so maybe he never told you.”

  “Yes, Ben never told me you worked with him. What are you, the receptionist?”

  Bitch. “Actually, no.”

  “Secretary?”

  I resisted the urge to throw my glass of water in her face.

  “I’m the volunteer coordinator.”

  “Oh, an important position, I see.” Jasmine smiled at me and whispered something in Ben’s ear. He laughed.

  “Maggie’s also an author,” Blake chimed in.

  “And they may also make a movie out of my debut novel,” I beamed. “Blake’s setting it up.”

  “Oh, it must help that your boyfriend has connections.” Jasmine smiled. “What’s the book about?”

  Drat. “Actually, I ...” It was then that the waitress came to take our order. And not a moment too soon.

  “So Blake’s your boyfriend now, Maggie?” Ben looked at me with a frown. “You never told me that.”

  “Well, I was going to tell you, but, you know.”

  “Know what?”

  “You were so busy talking about Jasmine. I didn’t want to detract from that and draw the attention to myself.”

  “I don’t know if ...”

  “Oh honey, let her be,” Jasmine interrupted him. “She’s obviously just happy to have found herself a man.”

  “What the ...” I was about to go off on little miss perfect.

  “Actually, I’m the one who’s lucky to be with her.” Blake leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “She’s my little princess.”

  “Little
princess, huh?” Jasmine smirked. “Not a name I would have thought many people would call you, Maggie.”

  “Why’s that?” Blake answered for me with a frown. My heart warmed towards him. “In fact, Matty Damonella and George Mooney have both told me how lucky I am to have Maggie.”

  Jasmine looked at him with her eyebrows furrowed. All of a sudden, she didn’t look so beautiful. I could see all the lines in her hard face. I didn’t understand what Ben saw in her at all.

  “Matty Damonella? Really?” She sneered.

  It was at that moment that Brandon Fleck walked past the table. And then stopped. “Blake, how’s it going?”

  I caught my breath and stared. I tried not to be too star struck but, I couldn’t help it.

  “Good, Brandon. How are you?”

  “Great, thanks to you.”

  Jasmine gasped. Loudly. I smiled. I guess she wasn’t as cool and immune to Hollywood stars as she thought.

  “Good, good. Filming going well?”

  “The best. My trailer is second only to Brad’s, and, well, that 2% you got me on the backend for the deal. Well, let’s just say it could add up to a lot. We’re getting a lot of great press for the movie already.”

  “Good to hear. Oh, Brandon, I want you to meet my girlfriend, Maggie.” Blake introduced me to Brandon Fleck. The Brandon Fleck.

  “It’s a pleasure meeting you, Maggie.” And with that, he kissed my hand. “Well, good seeing you, Blake. I’m sure I’ll see you at your office soon.” I was still grinning like a fool as he walked away.