Stranger Than Fiction

by Jeanine Hoffman

  “I will. See you in the morning. Don’t oversleep.”

  She turned and left as Beth chuckled beneath her breath as she made some minor adjustments.

  “What?” I was fairly certain I knew what was amusing her but everything had me so on edge I couldn’t help but ask.

  “Uh-huh. Act like you don’t know, missy. I see what’s going on there. Ms. Thang is all at your beck and call. Do you know how many have tried to get half that from her in the past? Impressive, I admit. I’m betting people were wrong about what she needs.”

  “What do you mean? What she needs?”

  “Yeah, just because she’s a somewhat dominant coyote people assumed she needed a meeker mate. I think what she needed was someone willing to be on their own. Someone not looking for a purely dominant partner but someone that could be both to her and allow her to be both to them.”

  “I’m sure that made sense, Beth. Really. But right now, I just want to have people I think I can trust around me tomorrow. Janice has been really great with me being all temperamental. I’m obnoxious and demanding one minute and dissolved into fear and tears the next. I don’t know how she or Kerstin have put up with me.”

  “Meet me for a cup of tea in a month if you haven’t figured it out. I’m fairly certain I won’t be seeing you for that tea. Now, I’m going to send the doc in for your medication. Why don’t you go use the bathroom and get settled before she comes in. Good night, and I’m only a call away if you need help. Just pick up the bedside phone and ask the operator for me.”

  “Thanks Beth, have a good night.”

  I did as suggested and finished getting ready for bed. It was early yet but I suspected the medication would keep me knocked out for a while. Kerstin hadn’t seemed like she was going to hold back when she spoke about dosing me.

  Kerstin came into the bedroom and watched me fidget in bed. Finally, I was settled and told her I was ready.

  “All right. I left a bottle of water next to the bed for you. Beth will probably pop down tonight to check on you because she’s overprotective like that. I’m heading home once this kicks in, but I’ll be back before you’re awake.”

  “Right. Got it. I’m gonna be loopy, then when I wake up I learn to turn into an animal. Sounds like fun dreams await.”

  “Tori, relax. I promise you the medication will help you sleep and you won’t have bad dreams. Tomorrow, you’ll learn what you need to so that the rest of this comes together for you. Relax now.”

  She slid the needle into my vein with a practiced motion. I literally felt the drug work its way through my circulatory system. I think I might have been asleep before Kerstin left the bedroom. I didn’t know anything else until morning when Kerstin came in to wake me.

  Chapter Seventeen

  WHATEVER WAS IN that shot was a doozy because I slept like a rock until Kerstin shook me awake in the morning. And when I say morning, I mean like nine thirty, not her usual god awful seven something.

  Kerstin removed the monitor and I took a shower and got dressed for the day. I wore comfy sweats and a baggy T-shirt. I didn’t care because at some point I’d be putting on some weird robe anyway. It wasn’t like it was picture day at school. I had no one to impress today since they’d all seen me cry. Well, fine, technically I don't think Sara had witnessed one of my guilt-laden crying jags but I’m sure I’d done other things in front of her that were equally horrible.

  When I joined Kerstin in the living room she was alone.

  “No one else is here yet?”

  “Actually, we’re going to go meet them for breakfast in one of the conference rooms. It’s more comfortable and has some AV equipment set up for this kind of thing.”

  “Wait, what? There’s AV aids for training people to shift?”

  “Sure, why not? It is the twenty-first century and we’re able to use plenty of tech to help us along. Did you expect to have to start a fire with twigs and learn from tales of long ago?”

  “Well, maybe not the fire bit but sort of. I mean, isn’t this all pretty old stuff?”

  “It is, Tori, but we’ve modernized and streamlined things as we’ve learned more about our shifting. There is still plenty to learn but the more we know the more we can conceal ourselves as needed.”

  We went to the conference room Kerstin had reserved and there was a buffet set up with eggs, bacon, sausage, fruit salad, and various cereals with almond milk instead of cow’s milk. I saw Sara enjoying a bowl of fruit and cereal and realized that the almond milk was a vegan product. Made sense, but that bacon smelled good.

  Kerstin and I helped ourselves to the buffet and chose seats. She sat near her mother while I sat where she indicated. I looked up when the door opened and Dena walked in with Janice right on her heels.

  “Hey guys, grab some food. Otherwise I might eat all of the bacon.” I rose as I greeted them and headed for more eggs and bacon. I tossed a couple of triangles of toast on my plate too before I retook my seat.

  “Janice, why don’t you sit on Tori’s left and Dena, her right. Once we’re done eating, we’re going to start the training and this way we’re all in position.”

  “We have special positions? What happened to modern technology?”

  “The positioning is as much to do with you being focused on the screen as it does with tradition. This way, they aren’t blocking your view as mom and I go through the training with you.”

  “Smarty pants.”

  Janice turned and smiled at me before turning her attention to her plate. Dena sat with us and other than a quick hello, waited in silence.

  “Dena, are you okay? Don’t you want anything to eat?” I was suddenly worried that Dena didn’t want to be there because it was her brother’s death that had me turning into a shifter.

  “Oh, I ate this morning when I got up. I’m good. I was just giving everyone else a chance to eat. Do you need anything? I can get you a drink or something.”

  I pointed at the full bottle of water on the table in front of me. “I’m fine with water for now. Are you sure you’re okay being here for this?”

  “Of course, I’m just a little nervous.”

  “You’re nervous? Of what?”

  “This is a serious responsibility to you and our herd. I want to make sure that you have a smooth and positive experience and I’ve only helped one other time, for my sister’s First Shift.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure we’re all going to be fine. After all, Sara and Kerstin must have done this a lot of times.”

  “You’re right. Let’s talk about something mundane for now. How are you enjoying the books you checked out?”

  “Books? Yeah, bad call on my part. I’ve hardly had the time or focus to read. So much is going on and when I’ve tried to sit at my laptop and read or write, or read the books I borrowed, my attention span hits zero and I find myself staring into space.”

  “Well, you do have a lot going on at the moment. Maybe after today things will get a bit easier.”

  Janice surfaced from her plate of food. “Dena’s right. Cut yourself some slack because you’ve had a lot to deal with the past few days. Less than two weeks ago, you didn’t know we existed. Now, you’re going to go through your First Shift in a matter of hours. A little distraction is understandable.”

  I nodded but didn’t say anything. They were right and I was being hard on myself, again. Life is a series of small moments and events but they all had led me to this moment, this day. I had to adjust or risk losing myself.

  I stood and took my dishes to the bus tub to the left of the buffet. When I sat, I saw that the others were doing the same or at least moving their plates far enough away to not be a distraction but close enough to pick at if they wanted to during the talk.

  Sara rose and looked at each of us for a moment. Her very presence was both calming and nerve-racking. She was the epitome of a strong matriarch.

  “Now, we come together this morning to guide our newest member to our herd. There is much that s
he must learn and much she can teach us. Is anyone here unable or unwilling to assist our sister in her journey?”

  No one spoke. I could hear my heartbeat pounding in my chest.

  “So be it. Tori, today is the day when, if all goes well, you will meet with and join your Other. This is a sacred and blessed event but not one that can be put off. Are you ready?”

  “I guess so. I’m scared but I’m ready to find out what will happen.” I sort of stammered but I got it out at least. Kerstin smiled and I felt Janice squeeze my arm before letting go.

  “Kerstin, will you guide the first meditation?” Sara settled back in her chair and waited with her hands open on her lap in front of her.

  I was surprised that we were going to meditate in what could be any business’s corporate conference space but the hidden speakers around us came alive with the sounds of a Native American flute playing a haunting song as the lights dimmed.

  Kerstin rose and spoke, her voice taking on a velvety texture and tone, rising and falling with the sounds of the flute.

  “Close your eyes and relax. Everyone, focus on my voice, the sound of the flute, and your breathing. Breathe in through your nose to a count of four, hold it for two counts, then breathe out slowly through your mouth, again counting to four.”

  Kerstin kept her tone even but melodious and guided us through a basic relaxation meditation of about ten minutes. At the end, I had to admit that I was more centered and relaxed. After a moment to allow us all to come back to ourselves, Kerstin nodded her head to her mother and sat as Sara stood and took over.

  “This is the portion where, if you had come to us through the usual route, we would start to teach you how to meet and recognize your Other. Instead, I think first we need to more fully explain the concept of the Other and what this means to us. We typically accept that we are essentially genetically removed from humans by way of the Animus virus. The virus causes our DNA sequences to mutate, allowing us to access the ability to shift to an animal form. This much you know, I believe.”

  I nodded but remained silent. Sara who was very approachable in small talk situations was now fully immersed in her role as herd matriarch. Her brown eyes seemed to crackle with intensity as she spoke about the change the virus created.

  “In addition, while we don’t yet know why, we do not simply shift to animal form but we merge with the animal spirit or spirit guide. You are familiar with animal spirit guides, yes?”

  “I am,” I responded while hoping that she wouldn’t ask me about a youthful vision quest or what animal had claimed me. I didn’t want to explain to this proud woman what a foolish teenager I had been.

  “Good. While this is similar, there are differences. There is no shuttling you off to a part of the woods or desert with no food and little water for days. There is no mandated sweat lodge though some find it helpful. I suspect some find sweat lodges calming and comforting in a ritualistic manner more so than because it aids us in finding our Other.”

  “I understand.” Sara looked at me before nodding her head once.

  “I suspect you do. What we are going to go through with you here is sacred and personal in its own way. No one will ever talk of it to those outside of this gathering. You may, of course, speak of it if you wish, but I would suggest that you be careful with whom you share this experience.”

  “Is it forbidden to talk of it to those unaware of the virus? I don’t mean to speak of the shifting but perhaps I could tell my mother than I decided to get involved in a tribe locally and that I followed those traditions. It would please her and it keeps me from having to come up with something false to explain to my parents.”

  “From what my daughter has told me, that may not be an issue. I have people looking into that for me. For the time being, yes, you may use that story as long as you edit reality strongly. Be aware that if your mother is one of us, then she may spot any holes in your story. That could be useful but if she isn’t one of us, we don’t want there to be any holes to find.”

  “Thank you. I understand.”

  “Very well. Then we shall begin. Contrary to what we told you, we will be doing the rest of this in the nature room. I think it will be of more help to you than our video designed for maturing children. Why don’t you allow Dena and Janice to assist you with changing into the robe and we will meet at the glen. They know where it is and what to do. Trust them as you would trust your own family. More perhaps, as they play important roles here today.”

  With that, Sara turned on her heel and left the room followed closely by her daughter. Dena rose and Janice helped me stand and guided me with one hand in the small of my back to a small room off of the conference room. They aided me almost entirely by folding my clothing and adjusting the loose-fitting linen robe so that it would not fall off of me but would not hinder motion at all.

  “Do I actually shift in this? I can’t imagine how that would work? Won’t I get caught in it?”

  Janice showed me the seams would break away when the time came.

  “We will have a fresh robe as well as food for you at the glen. I promise, everything has been taken care of. We’re rather good at the planning and execution of this rite of passage.” Janice rubbed her hand along my back and while I was nervous, I also felt myself relax at her touch.

  “I promise you this, Tori. You will be fine. We will watch out for you and help guide you. Sara honored me by choosing me to stand in as your family member for this. I will ensure that you come through perfectly.” Dena held my right hand between her two hands and smiled. “Now, let’s get you to the glen.”

  Dena and Janice changed into their own robes. Theirs were a dark grey in color while mine was an ivory color. I wondered at the color difference but didn’t bother to ask. I just wanted to get this part over with as swiftly as I could handle.

  When we joined Kerstin and Sara in the glen I found that there was a smallish sized portable fire pit burning. It was small enough to see over if one were sitting on the ground but large enough to easily give off a cheery light and a bit of warmth in the chill of the imitation morning.

  “How is that possible?”

  “We have a propane line running under the flooring and soil. If you know where the hatch is, it’s easy enough to hook up. We use this for all sorts of gatherings here,” Dena informed me.

  “Hmm, Well, it adds ambiance and a little warmth so I’m game. What do we do now?”

  “Sara will let us know when it’s time to sit and start. I suspect she’s waiting for something to arrive. I haven’t seen the food basket here yet,” Janice whispered to me.

  As soon as she said it, a young woman carried in a large wicker basket and another wheeled in a small cooler that I suspected would hold beverages. As soon as the two women left, Sara clapped her hands once and we all looked to her.

  The lights had been lowered to simulate early morning, just as the sun was rising. The fire was crackling, and I heard the birds start to sing to one another.

  “Let’s all take seats. Tori, you will sit between Dena and Janice again. Let’s form a circle around the fire.”

  We all sat cross-legged in the dawning light. I was momentarily distracted as I watched the lighting change as morning started in the forested area around the glen. One day I would ask how that was done but now was undoubtedly not the time.

  “Tori, are you familiar with, intellectually, the concept of searching out a spirit guide?”

  “I am.”

  “Good. What we’re going to do is walk you through a series of meditations that will open you to a deep enough state of relaxation that you can access a vision of your Other. When we get to the point that your mind and body are ready, we will guide you through the transition and into a meeting with your Other. Do you understand?” Sara peered at me and I suspected this was critical.

  “Basically, you’ll help me to do a vision quest without the days of deprivation and solitude?”

  “Essentially, yes. In a true vision quest, you would,
if you were lucky, meet an animal or spirit guide that would then appear to you at critical moments in your life or in meditations. In this case, each meditation takes you closer to the plane where the Others dwell and they will get the chance to see you coming to them. One will break away and join you. At that time, we’ll aid in your transition to deer. You and your Other will bond and become two souls in one body.”

  “I understand as well as I can. I’m ready.” I was shaking a bit and pulled my hands beneath the folds of the robe to hide my fear. I still didn’t understand how this meant that I kept my individuality and creative side if I was merging with an animal.

  Even if it was a spirit animal.

  Kerstin took over again as she started to guide us through various meditations. Janice and Sara had drums waiting for them when we arrived and they kept a gentle heartbeat rhythm that helped me to sink deeper and deeper into a trance-like state.

  I have no idea how much time passed. All I knew was that I found myself in a meadow by myself. Well, not entirely by myself. There had to be a hundred white-tailed deer in the meadow, munching on the long grass and wildflowers. I stayed still as stone, unsure of where I was and what was happening. Then I felt something. A tug.

  I looked around but saw nothing else but the meadow, the deer, and me. I felt it again, a tug that seemed to pull me from my chest. I started forward slowly. I only took steps when I had to for the tugging, none of my own choice.

  Gradually, I was making my way toward the center of the meadow and I saw a doe picking her way gracefully toward me. I was watching her as she watched me, neither making any additional moves forward for several minutes. Of course, those could have been hours as I had lost all sense of time.

  “Are you her?” a voice asked me. I didn’t hear it exactly, more like it sounded within my head. It was a soft, velvety voice. One that could do jazz justice if it had been a bit deeper.

  “Who asked that?” I said aloud. I still looked for a human amongst the tall grasses.

  “You are her. I’ve been waiting for you. I was told you might take a while to arrive.”