The Women's Circle

by Karyn Sepulveda

  ‘No,’ Aisleen spoke the word loudly, affirming to herself and the world that she would not worry. There was nothing that could stop her from continuing to meet with the women.

  Throughout the next day, the same uneasy feeling was never far from Aisleen’s mind. As she worked through every chore, she would hold the same scene in her mind – the Enforcers on her doorstep to search her property, storming in and finding the crystal, smashing it to the ground. It would all be over.

  Aisleen kept scolding herself for being silly, that of course the Enforcers knew nothing of the meetings. She decided to hide the crystal anyway. She stood by her opened wardrobe and considered the few clothes it held. After settling on a nightgown she rarely wore, Aisleen put it on her bed and then retrieved the crystal from its current hiding place in her bottom drawer. She had not even bothered to cover it, as she knew Joseph never went through her things. Aisleen placed the crystal on top of her thick nightgown and wrapped it well. She knelt by her bed, reached underneath and lifted a loose floorboard. Aisleen placed the crystal inside and as she replaced the floorboard, she let her fingers linger. She closed her eyes and asked again that the crystal would protect her and the women.

  The following day, Aisleen and Joseph had just started walking down the track from their house, heading into town for their monthly supplies, when a black carriage adorned with red flags rounded the corner. They froze. Joseph turned to Aisleen.

  ‘You haven’t been out again have you?’

  Aisleen’s voice caught in her throat as she tried to deny it.

  Joseph covered his mouth roughly with his hand. ‘Curse it! How could you? You promised me.’

  ‘I’m sorry, I …’ Aisleen’s voice was barely a squeak. The dread that had been mounting within her flooded her and she felt as though she might collapse. The carriage’s tall wheels rattled, flicking rocks as it sped towards them. She and Joseph had a minute at the most until it would reach them; they had to gather themselves. Aisleen shook her head, attempting to cast out her fear. She thought of the crystal, wrapped safely under the floorboard beneath her bed, and imagined its magical warmth and glow, the protection it was bestowing on them. Aisleen found her voice and turned to Joseph.

  ‘It will be all right. You don’t know anything, and I haven’t been anywhere. Joseph?’ Joseph was staring at the approaching carriage, his eyes wide. She shook his arm. ‘Did you hear me? Please, act normally. I haven’t done anything wrong, it’s a normal day.’ Joseph nodded stupidly, but when she shook him again, he met her gaze and seemed to find himself.

  ‘Yes, all right. Let’s act normally.’ They held hands and continued to walk slowly along the track, both fighting to control their breathing. Aisleen imagined the carriage passing them without a second glance, on its way to a different property. But of course, the carriage halted right by them. Three large men jumped down, each wearing the Enforcer uniform. All three were unshaven, with red-rimmed eyes that spoke of their heavy drinking and late nights. Their expressions were solemn, eyes narrowed in unison. Joseph nodded at them.

  ‘Good morning, sirs.’

  They ignored him. The largest one, Aisleen recognised. Edmund. The one to take her from her home and a regular nightly visitor during her imprisonment. She could still smell the pungent sweat of his body. He smirked at her now as he stepped forward. She looked down at her feet.

  ‘You. Where were you two nights ago?’ he said, his voice harsh.

  ‘At home,’ she replied.

  ‘She was here with me, asleep,’ Joseph rushed in. Too quickly. The Enforcers exchanged glances. Edmund shoved him out of the way.

  ‘We aren’t asking you. Woman, where were you two nights ago?’

  Aisleen imagined herself screaming at him, I’ve told you I was at home, you disgusting, filthy excuse for a human. She repeated in a firm, clear voice. ‘I was at home.’

  Edmund poked her shoulder hard. ‘We heard you were walking around in the woods. By yourself, well after curfew. Is that true?’

  ‘No.’

  There was silence for a moment. Aisleen tried to calm her shaky breath, tried to show no emotion. She knew how much Enforcers enjoyed seeing a woman in distress. Another man jumped out of the carriage, striding up to stand right beside the Enforcers, reaching half their height. She heard Joseph’s intake of breath at the sight of their neighbour, Harold. Aisleen narrowed her eyes at him as he lifted his chin at her; he’d waited for this day.

  Aisleen felt a rush of hope. Harold was just being a troublemaker, making up stories as a way of enacting revenge on Joseph for the violence of his last visit. Although he was a well-known sympathiser with the Enforcers, he was also regarded as a liar. Even if he had seen Aisleen walking at night – and he likely had as she would not put it past him to spy on them at all hours – his reputation for making up stories would surely work in her and Joseph’s favour. As long as she and Joseph could maintain their composure, they could explain away any story created by Harold. Aisleen squeezed Joseph’s hand and prepared to hold her ground.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  ‘THAT’S TEN NINETY-FIVE, thanks!’ Anna cringed at the enthusiasm in her own voice. But the customer, an older woman in work-out clothes, grinned at her and wished her a great day. Anna had been feeling a weird joy since leaving Nina on Friday night. What she and Nina were seeing through the crystal still didn’t make complete sense to her. Especially when she tried to imagine that Aisleen was as real as she herself was, but in another time. Just when Anna felt she almost understood, the impossibility of the idea would win.

  At the same time, Anna felt an undeniable connection to Aisleen, as though Aisleen were someone she had grown up with, someone she knew well. Anna couldn’t describe her admiration for Aisleen’s strength to initiate those secret meetings in such a dangerous world, and the way Aisleen was preparing to stand up for herself against the Enforcers. If Aisleen could survive in a strange, scary world like that and still be strong enough to try to create a better life, then of course there was hope for Anna.

  All weekend, Anna had had the strongest feeling that everything was going to turn out fine. Jeanette had messaged her this morning telling her that her parole officer had submitted a glowing report of her progress. Anna had saved most of what she’d earned so far, taking advantage while she could of her free accommodation and the food vouchers Jeanette still gave her. It was becoming easier for Anna to believe that when her six months in the boarding house was up, she would manage just fine. She could almost imagine living in a decent apartment, having some sort of career. She was even beginning to believe it might be possible for her to return to some form of study. Anna was looking forward to asking Jeanette about it.

  ‘You seem really happy today,’ Brayden commented as he filled out the order books while standing beside her. He rarely used the small office out the back, preferring to do the paperwork from the counter and chat with Anna when it was quiet. ‘Especially for a Monday,’ he added.

  ‘I do feel pretty happy today,’ she admitted. ‘Your earrings must have worked.’

  Brayden grinned and stood up straighter, bringing his hand to his chin, rubbing the barely-there stubble as though he was forming an idea. But just as he was about to speak, Anna noticed a girl coming up to the counter. She could have been a young Anna, with her dark eyes and wild curly hair. But what stood out the most to Anna was the butterfly pendant that hung from her neck.

  ‘Hi, can I please get a small chips?’ The girl’s voice was bright and confident as she handed over a two-dollar coin. Anna couldn’t take her eyes from the pendant and it took Brayden’s chirpy voice to shake her from her stupor.

  ‘Sure you can,’ he said. Anna pressed in the order and took the money. As she handed over the chips, she smiled at the girl.

  ‘I love your necklace. Do you like butterflies?’ Anna felt like a weirdo asking, but the girl grinned and nodded her head with enthusiasm.

  ‘I love them. Especially purple ones,’ she said. ‘T
hanks!’ The girl took her chips and skipped off to sit with her mother at a nearby table. Anna brought her fingers to her bare neck and remembered the way her own butterfly pendant had felt against her skin.

  ‘I used to have a necklace just like that,’ Anna said to Brayden, surprising herself by offering personal information.

  ‘What happened to it?’

  ‘I lost it.’ Anna refused to fall from the happy place she was in. She forced a smile and turned her attention to Brayden. ‘So, what were you going to say before? You had an idea?’

  Brayden’s eyes lit up. ‘Yeah, so, you know I’m planning to buy another franchise next year. Maybe you could take over here, as manager?’

  Anna was taken aback by the question. She wasn’t sure that was the career she had imagined, but she appreciated Brayden asking. She liked that he thought she was capable of a managing role. She grinned back at him and nodded along, but answered, ‘We’ll see, maybe.’

  Brayden was satisfied with that and continued to talk about his ideas for the franchise. Anna was sure she was beaming. The light at the end of her tunnel seemed brighter today.

  The house felt different as soon as Anna opened the door. It was dark and quiet, but she could feel that someone was home. She shut the door softly and without turning on a light, crept through the front room to the hallway, pausing to listen. She could hear a muffled rhythmic movement, grunting, an incoherent murmur. Anna went to the kitchen, grabbed the knife that Sako used for filleting fish and followed the sounds to Mads’ room. She realised what was happening in there, knew what those sounds were, even before she opened the newly appointed door. Anna took a deep breath, opened the door and turned on the light. Mads was lying naked and lifeless on her bed, a needle still stuck in her arm, her blank eyes unseeing. A greasy, half-naked man swore and lunged at Anna, not even bothering to pull up his pants. She raised the knife and he froze.

  ‘Get out of here,’ Anna said, her voice low and calm.

  The man, who Anna could now see was actually a teenage boy, looked from Anna to the knife, swore loudly and pulled up his pants. He stormed past Anna without even a backwards glance at the girl he’d been in the middle of violating.

  Anna dropped the knife and moved over to Mads, overcome by the thick smell of vomit combined with stale urine and sweat. She pulled the dirty sheet over Mads’ legs and waist and checked her pulse. It was faint, but regular. Anna removed the needle from her arm, turned her onto her side in case she vomited again, then pulled her phone out of her pocket and called for an ambulance. Once she placed the call, Anna ran to the bathroom and grabbed a towel from the floor, wet it and ran back to Mads, wiping the sweat and traces of vomit from her mouth. Mads didn’t stir and Anna hoped she’d found her in time. It wasn’t until the ambulance officers arrived, not even blinking at the disgusting scene, that Anna began trembling. She had to force her voice to stop shaking as she relayed what she’d walked in on. One of the ambulance officers, a young guy with dark skin, spoke to her in Spanish. ‘All right, you did well. You probably saved her life. Sit down.’ When he asked if she wanted to travel to the hospital with Mads, Anna shook her head.

  ‘Well, is there anyone we can call for her?’

  ‘I don’t know.’

  The guy nodded slowly, his eyes sympathetic. Anna wanted to punch him in the face, tell him to stop feeling sorry for them. Mads got herself into this mess. So did Anna. They didn’t need people pitying them. But she was too exhausted to be angry. She stood in the hallway as Mads was rolled out, still unconscious, to the waiting ambulance. Once she’d locked the front door, Anna went back to Mads’ room, switched off the light and closed the door. She went straight to her own bedroom, reached under her bed for her crystal and clutched it tightly. Anna’s memories threatened to invade her, but she managed to block them and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

  ‘What happened to Mads?’ Talia asked when Anna walked into the kitchen the next morning. She was standing over the stove, the frypan predictably full of bacon and eggs. Sako was sitting at the bench, eating some kind of sour yoghurt, the smell of which made Anna’s stomach turn. Anna shrugged and made herself a coffee.

  ‘Something happened, I know,’ Talia said. ‘Her bloody phone rang in the middle of the night non-stop and when I went to tell her to answer it, I saw her room.’

  ‘Yeah?’ Anna didn’t want to find words to describe the scene from the night before.

  ‘So, what happened?’ Talia’s voice was more forceful this time.

  ‘She overdosed, I found her and called the ambulance. She’s alive.’

  Talia swore under her breath and went back to concentrating on cooking her food, not asking for any more details.

  Sako shook her head. ‘You’re a cold bitch, Anna,’ she said and stood up, patting Anna’s back on her way past. ‘I’m glad you found her though.’ Anna sipped her coffee in silence as Sako cleaned up after herself and left for work. Talia brought her plate over to the bench and sat opposite Anna.

  ‘I knew she was still using,’ Talia said between mouthfuls.

  ‘Did she ever stop?’ Anna asked.

  ‘Yeah. When she first moved in about three months ago, she was clean. Had been in some rehab centre for a month or something. She was a hooker, got arrested for possession and took the rehab stint over time.’

  Anna thought of her own rehab, in the prison hospital. The days and nights intertwining, the pain and sleep having no beginning and no end. But she’d survived. She was here. Anna gulped the last of her coffee.

  ‘Jeanette said she was going to some injecting room. She should have stuck to that.’

  ‘I guess she gave up.’ Talia stared at her empty plate as though it contained the answers. When she looked up, her eyes were wet. ‘You’d never go back to that shit, would you?’ she asked, and Anna had to swallow the lump in her throat.

  ‘Never,’ she said, holding Talia’s gaze. Talia nodded and without another word got up and cleaned her plate, then went to her room.

  ‘Fifteen ninety-five.’ Anna couldn’t muster her enthusiasm from the day before. Work today felt robotic. The morning had been a blur of pressing buttons and handing over bags of food, without making eye contact with anybody. She was reminded of her mindless work in prison; a way of keeping her body busy while she concentrated on taming her thoughts.

  ‘Hey, Anna, why don’t you take the early lunch break today?’ Brayden said to her before it was even midday. The idea of being alone with her thoughts made Anna shake her head, but he insisted. ‘I think a break will do you some good. Grab whatever you want to eat and maybe sit outside?’ Brayden smiled, but his dark green eyes were filled with concern. Anna took off her hat.

  ‘All right,’ she said and grabbed a cheeseburger on her way outside.

  Behind the building, on the loading dock they shared with the furniture shop next door, Brayden had set up a plastic green table with matching, flimsy chairs for the staff to take their breaks. They weren’t that comfortable, but the setting was shaded by the buildings and didn’t smell as strongly of cooking oil. Once Anna had finished her cheeseburger, she had nothing else to distract her from thinking about Mads. The way Mads’ naked, skeletal body had made her appear like a helpless child. She knew Talia had called Jeanette because Jeanette had messaged to tell Anna that she had been to the hospital to check on Mads and Mads was conscious and eating. Anna didn’t write back. She didn’t want to care about Mads. She didn’t even like her. But she couldn’t help hoping that she’d be all right. Hoping she’d get off the drugs and stay away from the crowd she’d been running with. From guys like last night.

  Anna’s phone beeped again. As soon as she read the text, Anna turned off her phone and put it back in her pocket. Jeanette was asking for more details about the guy. She wanted to file a report with the police, have him found and arrested. Deluded messages like that made Anna wonder if Jeanette was nutty. How else could such a normal lady stand to be around so many broken people?

&nb
sp; ‘You okay, Anna?’ Brayden’s voice broke through Anna’s thoughts. He pulled out the chair next to her and sat down, passing over a frozen coke. He shrugged when she thanked him. ‘You seem like maybe you need some pepping up today.’ Brayden’s cheeks flushed. ‘Not that you’re doing a bad job, you always do a great job, just that … You were so happy yesterday and today, you seem a bit down.’

  Anna took a sip and enjoyed the feeling of the cool liquid seeping down her throat and through her chest. ‘I’m all right,’ she said, trying to add some warmth to her voice. ‘I just had a late night and I’m tired.’ She kept her eyes on her drink. They sat in silence for a few minutes, before Brayden got up.

  ‘Well, if you ever want to talk or something, you know, like, I’m here. As your friend.’ His cheeks flushed again and Anna smiled at him.

  ‘Thanks, Brayden. You’re a really good kid.’ She giggled as he stumbled over his chair.

  ‘I’m not a kid; I think I’m only a few years younger than you.’

  Anna couldn’t help raising her eyebrows. There was no way he was any older than twenty, with his lanky arms and legs that he hadn’t quite grown into.

  His face was burning now. ‘Really, I’m twenty-seven next month. That’s just four years younger than you.’ The fact that he’d worked out their exact age difference and could now barely look at her wasn’t lost on Anna. She was flattered, and if she were honest, she liked knowing they were closer in age than she’d realised. But he still seemed so young and innocent.

  ‘Well, you are a carra de wawa. A baby-face.’ Anna laughed when he stumbled on the chair again before he tucked it in and waved at her, walking swiftly back to the building. Where were guys like him when she first moved to Australia? Anna imagined for just a moment how different her life would be if she’d met someone like Brayden instead.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  BEFORE