Never Again, No More 4

by Untamed

  “Ooh, baby, let me please you,” I moaned.

  He looked down at me. “You already do,” he said breathlessly. “We’ll have plenty of time for everything else, but tonight let me love you, baby.”

  He was right, and love me down, he did. I needed him to show me that he was serious about the way he felt for me. We needed that connection to tie us together and make us strong. We needed to solidify ourselves as one. He made love to my mind, my body, and my soul. I’d never felt closer to a man in my life, nor had I truly enjoyed the essence of making love until then. Not even when I heard the vibration of my cell phone and saw it light up with Aldris’s name did it deter us. I was Mike’s now.

  “Mike, baby, I’m about to cum,” I moaned softly and gripped him tightly.

  He huffed breathlessly as he burrowed his face in the nape of my neck. “Me too. Oh God, Lu, I’ve never felt this way . . . never loved... Ooh, shit, this is the best. You’re the best,” he panted.

  Then together we both cried out each other’s name in a whirlwind release. I can’t even describe it. It was like heaven. Afterward, Mike rolled on his back and pulled me on top of him.

  He brushed my wet locks away from my face as I wiped his forehead with the palm of my hand, and then we kissed.

  He smiled at me.

  “What?” I smiled back.

  “I’m admiring what love finally feels like. I’m yours, Lu. Only yours.”

  “And I am yours. Only yours,” I said to him as my phone buzzed again. He picked it up and showed it to me. I shrugged. “I’m with my man. The only place I want to be.”

  He smiled; then he ended the call and powered off my cell phone. And I didn’t care. I was starting a brand-new life with Mike.

  Chapter 17

  Aldris

  Can’t I catch one break? I thought as I tried to reach Lucinda again for the twentieth time. I had thought everything had turned out all right, and we were ready to start over. Then I had come back to nothing. Nothing except a ransacked bedroom. The instant I’d laid eyes on the room, I’d known that she had freaked out and had looked for signs of Jennifer. I’d not seen Jennifer since that fateful night, and I didn’t understand how to get Lu to understand that Jennifer was only a mistake. I wanted Lu. I loved her. Why couldn’t she see that?

  I gave up trying to call Lucinda’s cell and called her mom, who told me she wasn’t there, because she had left to come see me. Great. The only beneficial information I did receive from her mother was the address for Lucinda’s new condo. Before I disrupted her peace, I wanted to reach out to all possible sources, so after I hung up with her mom, I reached out to LaMeka, who also hadn’t seen or heard from her.

  For what felt like hours, I sat on my sofa, dialing her again, and again, to no avail. Eventually, my calls went straight to voicemail. Dismissal. She was dodging my calls. Turning the slip of paper that had her address over in my hands, I sat there pondering whether I should I use the information I’d received from her mom. I needed to talk to her sooner rather than later to reassure her that she was the only one for me, but I didn’t want to push too hard. That might force her away when I needed her close. If I could keep her close, I knew I would eventually penetrate her mind and halt those fears.

  Her heart was with me. I felt it. I just needed everything else to follow it. However, after her phone went to voicemail two more times, I decided to chance it, but when I arrived at her condo, she wasn’t at home. As I sat in my car, the thoughts that I’d been pushing back in my mind were screaming for me to accept them. She was with Mike. I felt it. I knew it.

  Just as I started to allow those feelings to overwhelm me, my cell phone rang. I picked up. “Yeah, Mama?”

  “How was your night with Lucinda, or is it still going on?” she asked excitedly.

  I huffed. “She ran out on me.”

  She let out a defeated sigh. “Oh no. Why?”

  Gripping the phone tighter, I pressed it closer to my ear. “I don’t know,” I seethed, my attitude evident. “All I know is that everything was going great. We were connecting and conversing. Then I left to go to the store, and when I got back, she was gone. She’d basically turned the bedroom inside out.”

  “She was probably looking for signs of Jennifer.”

  “Yeah, I figured that much out,” I snapped.

  “You know, I’ve had about as much attitude from you as I will stand, young man. I know that you’ve been through a lot lately, but I won’t stand by and be disrespected by you because of what you’re going through. We’ve had our own differences of late, but at the end of the day, I’m your mother, so better give me the respect that I damn well deserve,” she said, chastising me. “Besides, I was only trying to check on you two. I love Lucinda, and anything I can do to help, I will.”

  She was right. I had been such an ass to her lately because of her new relationship and my failing one. My father was probably turning over in his grave at my actions. I had no right to disrespect her, and I decided that ended right now. Perhaps, it was the reason I couldn’t keep my woman in the first place. I needed my actions to realign with my words.

  “I know, Ma. And you’re right. I’m so sorry for how I’ve acted lately and treated you. I had no right. Can you ever forgive me?”

  I could practically feel her smile radiate through the phone. “Of course, I can. It’s already done. You’re my son. Every bit your father, but my son. I love you.”

  “Thanks, Mama. I love you too.”

  “Listen, I know things may seem bleak right now, but don’t beat yourself up. It will all work out in due time.”

  “I feel you, Mama. It’s just I’m so damn frustrated.”

  “Why? Because she left?”

  “No. ’Cause I know where she is,” I said between clenched teeth.

  “Where?” my mom asked, puzzled.

  “Mike’s house,” I said tensely. “I need to go.” I cranked up my car, preparing to head to Mike’s.

  “Look, Al, I know you don’t want to hear this, but if she is over there, you need to keep in mind that you created that doorway.”

  What a slap in the muthafucking face. How in the hell did I create that doorway? No. The only person creating doorways was Mike, and if he tried to open up Lu’s heart or her legs, I was gonna break his. Guaranteed.

  My mom had me heated, but I tried to check my burgeoning anger. “How can you say I caused that? I messed up with Jennifer, but I didn’t cause that.”

  “You’re the one who gave her the opportunity to run to another man by always following behind Jennifer. If your dad never taught you anything else, he did teach you boys this; while you’re busy running out your front door, another man is busy sneaking in your back door. So be careful with your woman. The key to a lasting relationship is determined on whether or not the back door is open. If you had paid more attention to Lucinda instead of Aldris, and even more so Jennifer, then she wouldn’t need comfort elsewhere.”

  Swallowing hard, I realized that she had a point, but I’d be damned if I lost the best thing that had ever happened to me to a nigga like Mike. That nigga had just stopped sleeping around with multiple women and was only now standing up as a man. He didn’t deserve a woman like Lucinda, let alone Lucinda herself. Not on my watch. Yet I held out hope that Mike was simply being a friend to Lucinda during our difficult times. He had been my best friend since grade school. He couldn’t do that to me. He wouldn’t. He may have been a womanizer, but he’d never be a traitor. Would he?

  “Well, all I know is that when I turn into these condominiums, I better not see Lu’s car.”

  “Don’t go over there looking for trouble.”

  “I have to know.”

  “Aldris, listen to me. Take my advice and go home.”

  “I gotta go, Mom. I’ll talk to you later.” I hung up before she had a chance to respond.

  When I got there, I didn’t see her car, and I felt so stupid. She’s probably somewhere clearing her mind, I thought. This was ridi
culous. Ever since I had found out that she’d stayed with Mike for that stint, I had always thought the worst first. I started to turn around, but then I looked across the parking lot. A brand-new black Maxima with the license plate number MSFLY was parked there. I threw my car in reverse, backed up to the Maxima, and made sure I had read the plate correctly. I had. Enraged, I parked and jumped out of my car. He could say what he wanted to say this time, but I knew he’d stepped to Lucinda. I knew it.

  “I’m fucking him up on sight.” I charged toward his front door and banged on it with my fist. “I promise I’m fucking him up on sight.”

  Nobody came to the door, but I continued to pound on it. It only enraged me further. What are you doing with Lucinda in your house that you can’t answer the door quickly? Mm-hmm. On sight!

  “Who is it?” Mike finally asked from behind the door.

  “Nigga, who you think it is?” I yelled. “Open the door.”

  “Come back tomorrow, Dri.”

  Come back tomorrow? Did that muthafucka really tell me to come back tomorrow, with my lady in his house? That bitch had to be crazy. Hell no. Scratch that. He was stupid. I was the nigga that was crazy. And I was about to go fucking loco on his ass.

  “I know Lucinda is in there. So open up,” I demanded.

  “She doesn’t want to see you right now.”

  “It’s not what she thinks . . . Wait a minute . . . Why am I talking to you? Open this fucking door, Mike. I need to talk to Lucinda.”

  “Like I said, come back tomorrow.”

  He was tryin’ me. He really was. “Mike, if you don’t open up this door, I’ma kick the muthafucka in, and then I’ma kick ya ass. There’s gonna be a fuckin’ situation out here in a few seconds, ’cause you tryin’ my fuckin’ patience, dawg.”

  “Lucinda said she’ll talk to you tomorrow,” he said plainly.

  “And who the fuck are you? Lucinda’s keeper? Her message boy? Her do-boy? Let her tell me for herself!” I yelled. “Matter fact, I’m done talkin’ for real.”

  The next thing I knew, the door opened partially. Mike stood there with his feet stuck in some tennis shoes, with a pair of basketball shorts on and nothing else. He was half-naked. In front of Lucinda. Hell to the muthafucking no.

  “You muthafucka!” I yelled, charging at him.

  “Son of a bitch!” Mike yelled as we locked up.

  Lucinda ran into the living room. “Stop it. Just stop!”

  Mike pushed me off of him, and I fell back and hit the door, making it slam shut. As Mike slowly stood up and I regained my composure, my heart dropped. Lucinda stood there in one of his basketball jerseys and had nothing else on. No pants, no bra, hell, not even a fucking shoe. Nothing. And if she didn’t have those items on, I knew she didn’t have on any panties. Nothing.

  “Lu? What are you . . . What are you doing?” I asked, upset and angry at the same time.

  “I can’t believe you would chase me over here like a damned maniac,” she hollered.

  “What was I supposed to do? You left so abruptly, and then you’re here with Mike. What the fuck is going on?”

  “You were supposed to accept the fact that I left and be an adult about it.”

  “Really? Be an adult and you’re over here at my boy’s house in his clothes?” I said, damn near laughing at her statement. “Let me rephrase that, ’cause my boy wouldn’t do this to me.”

  Mike shook his head. “I was tryin’a stay out of it—”

  With a sidelong glance, I yelled, “Oh, muthafucka, you all up in it—in more ways than one, huh?”

  He turned and looked at Lucinda. “Before shit gets outta hand, I’ma let you deal with his ass.” He began to walk off.

  “Don’t walk off, dawg,” I shouted.

  I ran up on him and grabbed his shoulder. He knocked my hand off, and I punched him. He staggered and then charged at me.

  “I’ma break ya fuckin’ neck,” he yelled as we began pounding on each other again.

  “Stop it. I’ma call the police,” Lucinda screamed.

  Disbelief struck me. “The police?” Mike and I got up off the floor, pushing each other. “You’re calling the cops on me?”

  “Get outta my house!” Mike yelled, pointing to the door.

  “Get away from my woman!”

  “Enough!” Lucinda shouted, standing between us. “Good grief already,” she said and turned to me. “You need to leave.”

  “Not without you. Are you crazy?”

  “No. For once, since before I can remember, I know what I want.”

  “I know you probably think I’ve been dealing with Jennifer, but I haven’t—”

  She put her hand up, halting my plea. “I do, but none of those things matter.”

  “What matters, then?”

  “I wanted to sit down and talk to you like adults, but since you’re here now, I guess now will do. Aldris, I don’t want to be with you. I need for you to move on. If being with Jennifer is what you really want, then do that. I can’t be a part of that. Every time I look at you, I see what you did, and I can’t deal with that.”

  Her words were like bricks to the face and a dagger to the heart. My worst nightmare was coming true, unfolding right before my eyes. I couldn’t find a way to wake up out of it without it becoming reality. Tears sprang to my eyes, because for the first time, I felt it. I felt Lucinda slipping away from me, and I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t handle losing her.

  “But I love you, Lucinda. We were getting married.” Closing my eyes, with my head leaned back, I pinched the bridge of my nose. “What did Mike say to you?”

  Mike just shook his head. “You’re unbelievable. You still think I have something to do with Lucinda’s decision? This is what I had to do with it. Nothing. You helped her make her decision when you were over there being Jennifer’s man and not hers.”

  My watery eyes pierced him. “So what are you being, huh, Mike? Lucinda’s man?”

  Lucinda walked over and wrapped her arm around Mike’s waist. “As a matter of fact, that’s exactly what he’s being, Aldris. Mike and I have grown fond of each other. We care about each other, and I’ve decided that I want to see where things could go between him and me. He didn’t push up on me. He gave me the space I needed to make a decision, and he let me go to be with you. But I want to explore what we could be. I want to be with Mike.”

  My insides went haywire. I didn’t know if I was having a heart attack, a nervous breakdown, or turning into the Incredible Hulk. My ears started ringing, my breathing turned erratic, and my body trembled. Did she just tell me that she was dating my boy? Fuck that. Ex-boy! Me and this dude had played in sandboxes together, and he had betrayed me for some ass? Okay. I had his fuckin’ number.

  Focusing my attention on Mike first, I pointed to myself. “This is how you do me? We were boys. All through grade school and even college, we had each other’s back. We never let a female come between us. Nothing. No one. You gon’ betray me just so you can tap her ass because you saw her stripping at Club Moet?”

  Mike shook his head and gripped Lucinda around the shoulders. “I don’t expect you to understand. This is not about no damn strip club. I know you’ve known me to be a playa and a dog, but I’ve matured. I’ve changed. I know what and who I want in my life. I’m sorry if that no longer includes you. You’re my dawg. I know you won’t be my friend anymore, but I’m cool with that. Not because you don’t matter to me, but because Lucinda matters more. I love her, Aldris. I never wanted to hurt you, but I can’t help how I feel and that I’ve fallen for her. Nor can I help that she chose me.”

  The treachery. I didn’t know what hurt the most, facing my boy’s betrayal or losing Lucinda. At that point, both carried equal weight. Mike and Lucinda were the two people in the world who I’d trusted next to my own parents. Now they were the two people at the source of the worst pain I’d ever felt in my life. Still, I could live without Mike. Fuck him. Niggas came a dime a dozen. But love. Love was once in a lifetime.
That was what I had with Lucinda, “once in a lifetime” love. I just needed her to remember that. I had to fight for that. I couldn’t lose her. Not like that. Not to Mike.

  Turning my attention away from Mike’s traitor ass, I put my focus on the only reason I was over here to begin with, Lucinda. Pain erupted inside me, and I wailed, pleading with her as if my life depended on it.

  “Don’t let him come between us, Lu. Please. He’s been baiting you ever since I confessed to him that we were having problems. He wanted you to leave me.”

  “No, he hasn’t. He was being a friend when I needed one. Through our friendship, so much more developed. He has always wanted me to work things out with you, but if you had never cheated, we wouldn’t have found each other.”

  My heart dropped as she spoke words that were similar to the ones my mother had spoken to me. “But I never chose Jennifer over you. No matter what I did, I never . . . ever . . . chose her over you, Lu.”

  She swiped the lone tear that careened down her face. “Only, you did. You chose her over me every time you didn’t answer your phone, made a decision without consulting me, picked Jessica over Nadia instead of including her, picked Jennifer over me instead of including me, and the moment you decided that sleeping with her behind my back and lying about it was okay. You chose her. You left me a long time ago, Aldris. I just had the courage to face it.”

  I stood there, pleading with my eyes. “Please, Lucinda please. I want you. I love you. Don’t do this to us. Please. I’m begging you.”

  Turning her tear-stained face away from me, she denied me. “Please just go.” She buried her face in Mike’s chest, and he wrapped his arms around her. She nestled in his embrace.

  That gesture between them spoke volumes, and witnessing it made me understand something that I hadn’t realized before. Mike had more than pushed up on my woman; he’d taken her. She was Mike’s now.

  I knew at that point that Lucinda was serious. There was no changing her mind when it was made up. I had liked shit better when I was speculating whether or not Mike and Lucinda were together. If I’d just kept guessing, I guessed I wouldn’t feel like my soul had been plunged into the pits of hell.