Healing the Highlander's Heart

by Scarlett Adams

  “I suppose so too, but I dinnae particularly enjoy people calling me that.” He admitted.

  “’Tis customary my laird, they canna call ye …”

  “When I said I dinnae enjoy hearing people call me that, I meant I dinnae enjoy ye calling me that,” he interrupted her to confess.

  Lili stared at him in silent shock before recovering herself and shaking her head ruefully. “I cannae call ye Dougal, my laird. ‘Twill be disrespectful.”

  “Not to me.” Dougal said stubbornly.

  “To everyone else then.”

  “Even if I commanded ye to?”

  “My laird,” Lili began but he waved a hand before her face, effectively cutting her off.

  “Enough of such talks, I must have been silly to be talking like that and scaring ye. Eat your bread and we’ll have no such talks anymore.”

  Lili did as she was bid, partly because she was hungry and partly because she wanted to fill her mouth before she started talking about how she had feelings for him, feelings could never come to fruition. The bread was soft and still warm and as she was famished, she had eaten everything before she thought of it.

  “Here,” he handed her a piece of bird and after that a mouthful of wine from the skin he had brought with him.

  Lili coughed when she drank it, the wine spilling down the corners of her lips. He chucked as she wiped it off with the back of her hand, secretly pleased and embarrassed. Soon, the meal was finished and Lili knew she couldn’t stay anymore even if she wanted to. Returning to the kitchen would mean the end to her chores and rest, but she wanted to stay out in the night with him.

  “Mistress Eubh would be pleased ye ate all your food,” she said thickly, then cleared her throat.

  Dougal chuckled, a low deep musical noise that ignited heat in her core. “Ye ate most of it for me, Lili.”

  She looked away, feeling heat creep up her cheeks and cleared her throat. “I will be leaving now my laird,” she mumbled, getting to her feet and piling up the dishes into the tray before hefting it. “Good night my laird,” she said and turned to leave but was stopped by a soft touch to her elbow followed by an even softer plea.

  Chapter 18

  Dougal did not know what made him reach out but he knew he wanted her to stay with him tonight, he needed her.

  He needed to hear her voice, to feel the softness of her skin and her warmth and smell the scent of her. He would be destitute if she left now because he knew she would never come back to him, not as Lili, but as a humble servant who wouldn’t even look him in the eyes. She had already made the decision to do so and he wanted the gift of this night with her before the dawn came and they had to return to their lives. They both deserved this night. So he lunged forward and grabbed her elbow gently, pulling her to a stop.

  “Stay,” he entreated. “Stay with me tonight, Lili.”

  “But,” she started to say but stopped.

  “I need ye tonight, Lili.”

  She felt her turn. “Mistress Eubh will be expecting me, she might send someone to check on me.”

  Feeble excuses, Dougal was sure, but if Mistress Eubh send someone to snoop on them he wouldn’t care. He just wanted her tonight, come hell come rain. Just him and her in their own little sphere. If she would grant him this request.

  She did. He heard the sound of the tray as it hit the floor and she came round to sit by his side. Smiling, he moved closer to her until he could feel the heat emanating from her and feel her trembling.

  He took one of her hands in his, linking their fingers while his other arms went round her shoulder and gently tug her to him until her head was resting on his shoulder. Dougal’s heart was beating so fast that he was certain she would be able to hear it; how glad he was to be able to hold her in this moment. He felt his worries and anxieties slowly seep out of him as he inhaled the scent of her head and held her even closer.

  They sat like that for some moment, silent and in the near gloom, luxuriating in the moment, in the feel of one another. Until Lili spoke.

  “What are you frightened about?” she asked, her breath fanning his neck.

  Losing you, was what Dougal wanted to say but she went on after a few seconds had passed and he hadn’t said anything.

  “Dinnae worry, ye’ll be as much of a chief as your father was, my laird.” she assured him and her belief in him was touching.

  “Mayhap it is your pursuance in calling me my laird.” he chastised with a chuckle. “I am not worried about that, not particularly.” At one point in his life that had been his worry but now he was a chief his worries have shifted. Now, he longed for the comforts of the woods, a simple life with Lili by his side.

  “Then what are ye thinking about?” she asked and Dougal hesitated to tell her, suddenly aware of the coldness of the chain against his chest.

  “Dinnae worrit about it much Lili. What about ye? What is bothering ye Lili?”

  “Nothing, my lair – master Dougal.”

  “Dougal,” he corrected. “And dinnae say nothing, I ken there is something bothering ye. Tell me, I want to help ye.”

  “I’m not sure ye can stop him,” she whispered against his collarbone.

  Dougal felt his hackles rise as he heard her words. Him?! Who was she referring to? Could it be Ailbeart, the moon calf? Or was it the McLagan lad that had been lusting after her?

  “Stop who?” He asked, his voice husky and his body was beginning to burn from jealous rage.

  “Ailbeart.” She told him. “He wants to leave the castle to serve as an apprentice in Edinburgh.”

  “Och!” Dougal said, calming down when he realized it wasn't as he had thought. “Why does he want to leave?” He asked although he had a good guess as to why.

  “He...he lost someone important to him and cannae bear to remain in the castle without that person. So he wants to leave and I cannae talk him out of it.”

  “I see.” Dougal understood how the lad was feeling, what he was going through. He felt a fraction of that fear and anguish whenever he thought of Lili loving another or going away with another. He couldn't bear to be parted from her and if she ever left, he would pursue her to the ends of the earth to bring her back. He would give all up to be with her.

  “Ye want me to command him to stay? I am chief now; I can do that.” It was a delight to hear her laughter, a pleasant sound to his ears and he let himself go into it.

  “Nay,” she was still laughing. “Pray dinnae do that.”

  “Then if I cannae, ye should let him do as he pleases. If he is miserable here, without that person and if he can find some measure of happiness beyond the borders of the clan then ye should let him.” It sounded like a reasonable advice to him but he knew if it were him, he wouldn't accept her absence like Ailbeart was doing; he would do all he could to bring her back to him.

  “Is that all bothering ye?” He asked and could almost hear her thinking of whether she should tell him or not. He also felt it when she decided.

  “I’m just thinking about my past.”

  Dougal found himself once again in the grip of panic that her past might be trying to tear her away from him and anger that it was worrying her.

  “Have ye remembered anything?” He asked with a hint of trepidation in his voice.

  “Just flashes and when I try to put them together they dinnae make sense.”

  “They will, one day.” He tried to assure her. One day she would get the memories of her past back and remember she had a husband and a life she was bound to go back to. The thought was disheartening and Dougal feel the necklace grow heavy against his chest and even more cold, it was as though it was urging him to confess his love now before she was taken away from him.

  “Lili?” He called in a soft and uncertain tone.

  “Aye.”

  “There is something I'd like to show ye.” He slipped his arm off her shoulder as she straightened and looked straight at him.

  “What is it?”

  He could hear a hint of al
arm in her voice.

  “When my mother and father were together, long before I was born.” As he spoke he was reaching into his plaid for the necklace and brought it out, clenched in his fist. “My father gave my mother a necklace, a symbol of their love.” He opened his fist and let the stone catch the light and glitter as though afire.

  “Dougal, what are ye saying?”

  “I want ye to have it,” he said in a voice thick with emotions. “As a symbol of my love. Would ye accept it? My heart?”

  There was a moment of silence before Lili started stammering out a reply he was sure would be rejection.

  “I… I cannae Dougal.”

  Even though he had anticipated this as her response, it was still a solid wallop to the chest and he felt like weeping.

  “Is there someone else?”

  “Nay. 'Tis just a gulf between us. Ye're a chief now and I'm a lowly kitchen maid, nothing can happen between us. He'll have to marry a lady from one of those clans to build friendship and such. I cannae give ye anything.”

  Dougal couldn't care about that, about anything she had just said. That she was a kitchen maid meant nothing to him, he wanted her as she saw. It gladdened him to hear she had no one she had feeling for and she was rejecting him because she thought they were worlds apart. So, he put his arm around her and drew her to him. With one hand cupping her face, he bent his head and kissed her full on the mouth delighting in her sharp intake of breath. Her lips parted and she moaned into his mouth as his tongue darted in, striking and pleasuring.

  His hand moved up her face into the silk of her locks, threading his fingers through the smooth softness at the same time that she threw her arms about his shoulder and kissed him back with as much passion as he kissed her. The ignited fire in him built to a roaring crescendo and he knew he wouldn't be able to stop himself, not tonight, unless she did first.

  But she didn't, she kissed him deeply and hungrily, ignoring everything else but their passion. Their tongues stroked against each other and explored, building their passion to a blinding whiteness. When Dougal reached up for the brooch that held her earasaid up, she did nothing to stop him, only moaned and clung tighter to him. The material fell down about her, and Dougal encircled her with his arms, gently bearing her down with desire to please her.

  Chapter 19

  The necklace was made from fine silver chain, so thin it might snap and hanging from the center was a jewel shaped like a teardrop. It was beautiful and even more so when she thought about its meaning. A proof of Dougal's love. It made her smile so wide she felt her face would split in two.

  Last night was perfect. A night of passion and love, a night she wanted to revisit again but she couldn't. She had accepted his love and had shown him her love but despite what he said, they couldn't be together. Last night had been a gift to her, a memory to warm her on cold nights. He had been so gentle with his love, so careful not to hurt her yet intent in giving her pleasure that made her feel she was flying and falling at the same time. And when he had wrapped both of them up in her earasaid and his plaid against his cold and hugged her to him so she could hear his heartbeats, she had never felt so safe in her life.

  It was with deep regret that she had pulled away from him after he fell asleep, careful as she snuck away so as not to wake him. She had taken the necklace, a way of telling him she accepted his love and after one last kiss, she left. Lili had so badly wanted to stay in that sphere they had created for themselves, to be safe and happy forever but it couldn't be.

  As she laid on her pallet, she wondered if she should follow Ailbeart out of the castle. She was afraid she wouldn't be able to resist him if he touched her again. When she awoke this morning, she was resolved not to think about losing him forever but the pleasure they had both given each other last night.

  So she floated about in a cloud of happiness until she felt a touch on her shoulder and looked back to see Peigi frowning up at her.

  “Are ye well milady? I've been callin' ye fur a long time noo.”

  Lili's face wrinkled in irritation at having her reverie disturbed but she carried on with drawing the water.

  “What do ye want Peigi?” She demanded in a harsh tone and immediately felt sorry she had been abrupt.

  “Dae ye want tae sit down, I can fetch the water if ye are tired.”

  “I’m not tired Peigi.” Lili grunted.

  “Then why are ye looking that way? did somethin' happen when ye were wi'h chief Dougal.”

  Lili thought her flaming face told tales judging from Peigi's sly smile. She straightened and looked down at Peigi.

  “Was there something ye wanted?” She asked in a cool tone and from Peigi's flinch she wished she hadn't.

  “Ye said ye saw Chief Hamish.”

  “Aye, he came to have a word with our chief,” she blushed again as she thought of what their chief had been doing with his mouth last night.

  “Naw, he came fur ye. Someone mus' hae telt 'im ye were here. We hae tae tell Master Finlay. He'll git ye oot of here before ye come tae harm.”

  Aye she needed to see Finlay to tell him about the man after him, but she wasn't going to abandon her chores because Peigi was skittish about a perceived threat.

  “Mistress Eubh will skin me alive if I fail to fill the water. We'll go to Finlay after.” Lili told her.

  “Then let me dae it, ye arena used tae hard work.”

  For some reason, that irritated Lili. “I’m used to plenty, Peigi. I dinnae ken what I was in my past but I've been working here for two years and I'm up to the task.”

  “Aye milady,” Peigi smiled and remained a hovering presence until she had drawn up the last bucket.

  “Master Finlay would be at the paddock,” Peigi told her and Lili resisted the urge to snap an irritated: I know.

  Finlay was sitting on the grass chewing on a straw and watching the horses plodding about amiably and nosing at grass. He had nothing but leather breeks on and looked back when they approached. A delighted look jumped into his blue eyes before he schooled his expression and rose to his feet. Lili had to admit they had the same coloring, blue eyes and golden hair and a similarity to the features even if his were harsher. He was a handsome man, but not as handsome as Dougal, she found herself thinking, and not as tall.

  “Chief Hamish is here,” Peigi said without preamble.

  “Aye, I ken that. But if we keep our heads down, he wouldna notice our presence here.” He told her with a shrug.

  “That might be too late Master Finlay. He has already seen Lady Lili here.”

  A look of alarm jumped into his eyes and he suddenly looked pale.

  “’Tis not me ye need to be worrying about. It’s you Finlay. There was a man looking for ye earlier.”

  “What kind of man?” Finlay asked warily.

  “I dinnae ken, but he attacked me last night if I knew where you are. I think he means to kill ye, so ye are the one that has to leave the castle.”

  Finlay and Peigi exchanged looks.

  “This man, was he bawfaced and bowfing? He makes ye wannae boke?” Peigi asked.

  Lili considered for a moment before replying. She had been so caught up in her pride that she didn’t think she noticed these things until Peigi asked the questions and it brought up the image of the man to her mind.

  “Aye, that he was.”

  The frightened look on their face scared Lili.

  “Lili, we have to get ye out of here.” Finlay said to her. “There is not time to explain but ye must trust me. We’ll leave after dark, gather supplies Peigi. If we can get a few hours’ head start, we could take refuge in …”

  “I’m not going anywhere with you,” Lili declared, astonished they assumed she would just up and leave with them. They both turned to look at her. “If I am in danger then I’ll tell Chief Dougal, he wouldn’t stand for one of his people being hurt by Chief Hamish. That’s what we’ll do, we’ll report to our chief.”

  “It willna work,” Finlay said, quite sure of w
hat he was saying. “what is the guarantee that he would believe the three of us over chief Hamish. Clan Domhnall and clan Campbell have been friends for generations and he wouldna want to break that bond of friendship. We are servants, replaceable. Ye ken who he will choose to believe. The smart thing to do is leave before they find out I’m here.”

  “I’m not going anywhere with the two of ye.” Lili said taking a step back. They were going too fast for her and she wanted to find a quiet spot to think about it. “For all I know, ye both could be the ones trying to cause me harm for your sick game.”

  Finlay gave her a long-suffering look. “Lili,” he began with a tone heavy with patience. “You yourself were attacked by this man. Surely ye can see ye are in danger.”

  “He might be a friend of yours. I dinnae ken anything. Ye claim I am your sister and ye are the true heir to the Campbell clan; that Chief Hamish murdered our father.”

  “Aye.”

  “Where's the proof of it? Where's the proof of your truth?”

  Finlay looked at her for a moment, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Peigi and I are leaving tonight,” he began slowly. “We'll be by Ràild tower two hours after dusk and I'll bring the proof with me. But ye must give me your word, that if the proof is authentic and convinces you of the truth of what I say, ye'll come away with me. No questions asked.”

  For a moment Lili was frightened of what she was about to commit herself to. She had the feeling that Finlay would be right and she would have to leave the castle, have to leave Dougal. When she had just found how much he loved it.

  “Do I have your word?” Finlay demanded.

  Lili lifted her chin, more or less certain that Finlay and Peigi had mistaken her for someone else. “Aye. I'll meet ye before Ràild tower tonight. I still think ye are doing the wrong thing by running away, Chief Dougal would have helped ye.” With those last words, she turned on her heels and left.

  Chapter 20