Us After You

by Claudia Burgoa

  “How’s the guardianship going?” Tristan asks, taking the baby away from Mom.

  “We’re not sure. They’re still digging into our lives. I’m hoping this ends soon.”

  “Would you like us to take her tonight?” Matt offers. “You two need some alone time.”

  I place an arm around Sage, pulling her close to me and kissing her forehead. “What do you think? Sleepover at the grandparents sounds like a treat.”

  “That’ll be lovely,” she confesses, and I think we both agree, it’d be great not having to wake up at five in the morning for a change.

  58

  Tucker

  My parents leave the wedding around nine. We stay until midnight, when the servers are practically pulling up the chairs and cleaning the place. Zeke and Ethan don’t leave. They stay over at Nana’s place for the night. In fact, Zeke is staying for the week to pet sit Bruno and Draco.

  “I think this is the best wedding I’ve ever attended in my life,” Sage states, as we climb up the stairs.

  “Well, this is the second wedding I’ve attended, so there’s not much I can compare it with,” I respond and wonder about her wedding. If it was as big as Sienna’s or if they eloped.

  “Mine was a three-ring circus organized by my mother,” she declares, taking off her shoes. “If I—”

  She goes silent, and I can feel why that is. Us. Because our relationship is still up in the air. We live together, sleep together, and raise a baby together.

  Sending her flowers almost every day because I love the fuck out of her isn’t enough. Kissing her deeply until neither one of us can breathe doesn’t define who we are to each other.

  When I met her, I knew I wanted to get to know her, but I never knew she’d be the axis on which my world spins around every day. There’s so much I want to tell her, so much unsaid that tears me up from the inside out.

  Every morning, I want to tell her how much I love her and how much she means to me. But I don’t.

  We live in a fucking ocean of uncertainty, and some days, I feel like I’m drowning because we can’t be open about our love. It’s not like I can just say fuck it, because if I do, we lose our daughter, and she’s everything to us.

  That doesn’t mean that I want to spend the rest of my life itching to touch Sage while we stroll down the street or wanting to kiss her in plain sight during one of our hikes.

  I want to marry this woman, promise her forever. Grow our family—together.

  “What?” she asks concerned. “Is it Douglas, is he still…”

  She laughs and shakes her head. “Of course he is. I’ve heard the phone ring, and I’ve seen the pile of texts. I don’t read them, though. Can we do something to stop him from reaching out to me?”

  “He’s been in jail a few times but not for long. His lawyers always bail him out. If you allowed me to go and see him …” I shrug, because she doesn’t want me to go, and I don’t want to leave her either. “But that’s not it. Does it bother you that we’re roommates with benefits?”

  “Oh, wow, I’ve been demoted. I thought we were friends,” she says casually, but there’s a lingering smile in her lips.

  I give her a prolonged peck on the cheek close to her mouth, to tease her.

  “What’s happening, Tuck?” she asks with a tone of sadness. “We can’t define us or act upon our feelings outside the house. We slipped a little during the reception, but we know what’s at stake. Mae. No matter how much I love you and how much I wish things were different, we have to be careful. It’s not just you and me. There’s a sweet baby girl who needs both of us and we can’t risk getting caught.”

  My heart stops when I hear her words. I’ve been waiting for so fucking long to have her acknowledge that it’s not just me who is pouring his heart into whatever it is that we share.

  “What did you just say?”

  “We. Can’t. Jeopardize. Mae’s. Future,” she answers a little annoyed.

  “No, the part where you said the L word,” I correct her.

  She laughs. “Little?”

  “You’re such a tease, Sage Heywood,” I declare, holding her waist and lifting her from the floor. “I love you so much, and it doesn’t hurt. It’s actually freeing and refreshing to feel this way about someone—not just anyone—you. The most wonderful, passionate, quirky woman I’ve ever met. Fuck if I don’t want to shout it from the rooftops, so everyone knows about it.”

  She holds my head with both hands, her eyes gazing into mine, and all I see is love, her soul finally shining, and a future—our future.

  “I. Love. You, Tuck, with all my heart. I can’t imagine my life without you or Snuggle Bug. I’m not afraid to love you but of what can happen if we lose her. We already lost so much,” she says, her words charged with agony, worry, and sadness.

  “It’ll be fine, I swear.” I place her back on the floor and seal my promise with a kiss.

  Slowly, our mouths make love as our hands unwrap and untie our clothing. Once it’s just us, skin against skin, I lay her down on the bed. I admire her beautiful face, her graceful body, and enjoy the hunger in her eyes.

  Moving on top of her, I open her legs wide. There’s no foreplay, I sink every inch of my length inside her, saying her name loudly, as a prayer. I move my hips, her velvety warmth wrapping my shaft the same way her arms come around my back.

  Fuck, I’ll never get enough of her. She’s my salvation, my angel, and my sanctuary.

  She’s my everything.

  And there’s nothing I won’t do to keep her happy. I just need to figure out how to navigate Mae’s adoption to complete our family. No, we’re already a family. I just have to make sure we make it official. No one will separate the three of us.

  “This is ridiculous,” I protest as Nana and Sage try to set this month’s picture.

  Since April’s theme was clouds—April showers bring May flowers—they’re now placing Mae in Nana’s garden. I should be thankful that Sage didn’t dressed her like a flower. Still, my poor baby is being moved around because these women can’t find the right spot.

  “Stop complaining.” Alex rolls his eyes and prepares the camera. “I’m taking weekly pictures of our little bun, and I’m loving it.”

  Nana turns to look at him adoringly then she touches her belly. After they came back from their honeymoon, they announced that they’re expecting a baby.

  She’s eighteen weeks pregnant and even happier than she was when she got married.

  “Wait until the bun is out and she starts taking these pictures,” I argue. “You’ll be hating them by month seven—and we’re on nine.”

  He glances at me and shakes his head.

  “Tucker, did you forget the blackboard?” Sage asks, looking around for it.

  “No, it’s on the patio table, babe,” I grunt and walk toward it.

  On my way back to where they set her, I read the board. Mae Brooke, twenty-seven inches and a half. Eighteen pounds. Words I say, Ma-ma, Dad-da, and Na.

  I laugh because I swear Nana thinks it’s her name, and we believe it’s a way of saying no. We won’t break the illusion though.

  I love pulling up to a standing position from the table. I hate waking up alone. My favorite time is music class with Zeke or Nana. My favorite food is apples. I don’t like spinach.

  Best qualities, my smile and my chatty personality.

  When I arrive from getting the blackboard, Mae sits on a blue checkered blanket. A flower arrangement with daisies and sunflowers sits on a tin bucket to her left and her favorite stuffy, a butterfly Mom gifted her, is to the right.

  She’s clapping along with Sage and sings with Nana while Alex snaps pictures.

  “Finally, lean the board against the tin bucket,” Nana orders. “We’re going to take a few pictures of just her, but then I want you two laying on top of the blanket with her between the two of you.”

  “Zeke just pulled up,” Alex announces, “Ethan is right behind him.”

  “Good, I don’t
think she’s going to stay still for long. I bet she’s already planning where she’s going to crawl away. When she turns a year old, we have to plan this photo shoot better. What if by then she knows how to drive the boat and escapes?” Sage jokes.

  “Do you know some babies start walking at the age of ten months?” Alex shares his useless knowledge with us. “If that’s the case, we could put her on a pair of skis or a board by the time she’s a year old. Hopefully, you guys can join us next ski season.”

  “Any word on the case?” Nana asks me, and I shake my head in response. “Sorry, I wish they could speed things up so you can … I just hate that you guys have everything up in the air.”

  Sage and I look at each other, because we’re hating it more. There’s nothing we can do. Matt insists that I pay Sage’s parents, but that’s not even the issue. Even without the Heywoods contesting the will, this takes time.

  Too fucking long if you ask me.

  “If you need anything, we’re here to help,” Alex offers.

  59

  Tucker

  Your actions become history, but even though they might be in the past, no one forgets when you fuck up.

  Flaws are beautiful. Mistakes are lessons. Revenge is cruel. Combining them creates the perfect storm. Every day, I’m convinced that we’re about to enter into one, and I’m not sure if we’re going to survive it.

  At the beginning of June, Hunter calls and says, “We need to talk.”

  The only people who have told me that during my entire life are Matt and Tristan, and it was never a good thing.

  “I’m listening,” I say.

  “Not over the phone. We’re on our way to Seattle. We have to build a stronger case. Fitz says they have recent pictures of you partying. Sage’s ex-husband claims she’s unstable, and she tried to commit suicide. If you two are hiding anything, now is the time to talk.”

  “Sage is in Baker’s Creek,” I tell him. “She should be back later today. When do you want to meet?”

  “Tomorrow, do you have a conference room we can use?”

  I send a quick message to Ethan’s assistant and reserve the conference room. “Yes, I do. I’ll email you the address. See you at eight?”

  “Make it six in the morning,” he says. “By the way, the Heywoods demanded an emergency hearing. We need to be at court tomorrow at ten in the morning. We only have a few hours to build a good case.”

  We barely sleep. The call didn’t sit well.

  I hold Sage all night, trying to reassure her that everything will be fine. No one is taking our baby away from us. I don’t think she knows how far I’d go for her and Mae.

  There’s no need to tell her, but I’m prepared to do anything to keep our family the way it is, even if it’s running away from the country and changing our names. I’ve been thinking of different scenarios that could happen, and if it comes down to it, I have the resources.

  However, I’ll do anything to ensure that Mae keeps her life the way it is. She has a loving family, and I’m not just talking just about Sage and me, but everyone around her.

  Last night, we left Mae with Hannah and Alex. We didn’t want to wake her up early nor drop her at the childcare center while we’re working on the case.

  “What did they do?” Sage asks, as we enter the conference room.

  Fitz and Hunter are already here.

  “Let’s calm down. We’ll go through everything. Let’s start with party boy.” Hunter points at me.

  “We have a team looking into the pictures,” Fitz answers. “When was the last time you partied?”

  I flinch and avoid looking at Sage. That’s not me and it’s not the man I want her to see. “Almost four years ago,” I answer. “The incident in Cancun. That’s old news.”

  Fitz shows me some pictures, and Rocco is there, next to me. I point at him a couple of times. Hannah is in the background. “She hasn’t partied with us in years.”

  He closes his eyes and nods.

  “Sorry, I was just concentrating on the women and the drugs.”

  “Not mine,” I clarify. “You can accuse me of getting drunk, sometimes, but never high.”

  Hunter looks at Sage. “Your divorce says irreconcilable differences. Douglas claims you have mental issues, and you couldn’t handle the loss of your son. That you tried to kill yourself.”

  I scrub my face and look at Sage. “What is he talking about?”

  “He made me do that,” she says, her fingers touching her wrist. The tattoos.

  Strength. Determination. Love. God, I wish I could touch her. Hug her. Be her strength in this moment and remind her that I love her. I don’t. We have to be careful.

  “He had me file it under irreconcilable differences. I hid the abuse because that’s the only way he’d give me the divorce. If I pressed charges, he wouldn’t sign the papers. I was able to get the restraining order because of the pictures but … I did what he asked.”

  “Fucker,” Fitz says. “I wish I had been your lawyer.”

  “We have documentation,” Hunter says and hands us the copies.

  The hospital sent a report where it says she was in the psychiatric ward. Sage shakes her head. “The date is right, but I was there because he beat me.”

  “My uncle has the transcript from the hospital along with the pictures from the original police report,” I say.

  “You have my pictures?” she asks horrified, but I ignore her.

  I send a message to my uncle, asking him to send me her file. He emails it right away. I print it and hand it to Fitz who grunts. “We could’ve asked Harrison to dig deeper. His company already had this shit.”

  “Harrison?” Sage asks.

  “He’s one of Mason’s business partners in the security company,” I explain.

  Fitz flinches when he sees the pictures and shakes his head. “You can sue for defamation, just to prove to the judge this is a lie. He should be in jail for this.”

  “I don’t want to—”

  “Sage, I understand this is something you don’t want to revisit,” he interrupts her, giving the pictures to Hunter. “But it’d be best if we do it. This is important. If you stay quiet, they’ll believe that your ex-husband is telling the truth. You can drop the lawsuit once we win this case.”

  “Tucker, who was the last woman you slept with?” Fitz asks.

  “Someone two or three years ago,” I answer promptly.

  He chuckles. “Do you want me to believe that you’ve been a monk for the past three years?”

  I try not to glance to Sage, but I do briefly, and that’s when Fitz says, “Oh, fuck. You two did it. I told you. Didn’t we tell them not to fuck, Hunter?”

  “Several times,” his brother agrees. “We quit. This is a disaster.”

  “We’re not fucking,” I clarify. “We’re in a loving relationship—and committed to each other.”

  “We’ve been careful,” Sage says.

  “Using a condom won’t help you in this case,” Fitz warns her. “In the state of Washington, the court will look closely into one important matter. The child’s relationship with each guardian and the guardians too. We have a good case because the Heywoods have never asked to see their granddaughter. You have pictures, journals, and everything documented. The video you sent me of her eating solid foods for the first time is adorable. Never seen a guy eating baby food with that much excitement.”

  He laughs, and Sage can’t help but join him. What can I say? I was trying to convince Mae that spinach isn’t as disgusting as it looks. I couldn’t fool her because I hate it too.

  “Joke aside,” he continues, after clearing his throat. “Everything you’ve documented is perfect, and anyone can see nothing is staged. You love Mae. There are other aspects that won’t come into play since she’s only a baby. They look into which parent has acted as the primary caretaker—you both have equal roles in her life. My issues are the physical, emotional, and mental health of you two. That’s what the Heywoods are disputing. Your
ability to care for the child isn’t a problem.”

  I clarify and hand them over the financial information I have for the Heywoods. “They don’t have money. They want Mae’s inheritance.”

  “They can’t access it,” Fitz states. “You made sure no one can touch that money—not even you.”

  “They don’t need to know who set the trust,” I say, tapping the spreadsheets that are on the table a couple of times. “Just that they can’t touch it. I bet they’ll back out immediately. Fuck, Fitz, I just want for this to be over. I’d do anything for Mae, Sage, and I to become a family. Please, I’ll pay you whatever you need. Just make this stop today. I don’t want to see Sage stressed because she’s afraid to lose our daughter. I can’t see my family being pulled into a fucking circus that might last for years.”

  “So, you really love each other.” Hunter’s inquisitive glance switches from Sage to me several times. “It’s not just fucking?”

  “That’s what I said, and I’ll do anything to ensure that this stops today.”

  The brothers look at each other and nod.

  “Anything?” Fitz asks, and I nod. “Well, then let me call my assistant to get something ready. The courts are open in New York, and she can file it before our appointment.”

  “What?” Sage asks and Fitz grins.

  “Tuck, call your friends. We’re going to need them here,” he suggests, before getting on the phone.

  Sage and I look at each other and do as he says.

  60

  Tucker

  We arrive at the courthouse twenty minutes before ten. I trust my team, but I told them to do whatever is necessary to secure Mae’s future with us today. I don’t want her to be dragged into a custody battle that’ll last for years.

  “Keep some distance,” Fitz orders us. “But stay close enough that you look like you’re a team.”

  “We’re a team,” I remind him.