by Jeff Kinney
like balloons. Robbie's dad had to go to the
emergency room to get a shot, which made
it hard for Robbie to enjoy his ice cream.
When Robbie got home he noticed a small
chocolate stain on his crisp white shirt,
and the whole thing started up again.
137
A long time ago in Ancient Egypt
there lived a pharaoh named Mekh. And
when Mekh died the royal priests and
priestesses wrapped his body to prepare
it for the afterlife.
But a few thousand years later some
archaeologists from another country
discovered Mekh's pyramid and took his
sarcophagus with them.
138
When Mekh woke up he was disappointed
to find out that he was in a museum and
not in the afterlife like he'd expected.
On top of that they didn't even put his
sarcophagus in a nice spot.
So Mekh was ANGRY. And he used his
mummy powers to make a big mess of
things in the museum.
139
But even after Mekh destroyed the
museum he wasn't satisfied. So he went
outside and that's where he REALLY did
some damage.
That night Mekh was all over the news
for wrecking the city.
140
Mekh was just getting started though.
He went from country to country
destroying everything in his path, and
wherever he went he made headlines.
141
But after a while Mekh ran out of things
to destroy and people started losing
interest anyway.
Eventually Mekh settled down a little and
tried to get used to living in the modern
world. And even though he would've
rather been in the afterlife he had to
admit that television was a pretty great
invention.
142
One night Mekh was watching the news
and there was a story about how some
archaeologists made a new discovery in
Egypt. They found the tomb of Khaba,
a pharaoh who lived a few thousand
years ago.
Well at first Mekh started getting angry
because this brought back memories of
what happened to HIM. But after a few
minutes of deep breathing he was able to
calm down.
People were excited about this new
discovery because Khaba's tomb was
really glitzy and full of treasures.
143
But everyone was nervous when they
opened Khaba's sarcophagus because
no one wanted a repeat of the Mekh
situation.
Things were different this time around
though. First of all Khaba was MUCH
better preserved than Mekh. And Mekh
was kind of annoyed when the people on
the news kept pointing that out.
144
When Khaba stepped out of his tomb he
didn't just start randomly destroying
things. In fact he seemed curious about
the modern world and everything in it.
145
Khaba started appearing on morning talk
shows and before long he was everyone's
favorite mummy. And Mekh never would've
admitted he was jealous but he was.
In fact Khaba was so popular that people
started making all sorts of mummy
merchandise and used his image without
asking permission.
146
So Khaba hired a slick lawyer and before
long all that stuff was shut down. But
then Khaba's lawyer took it a step
further.
His lawyer trademarked "The Mummy"
which made it so that Khaba was the only
one who could use the name. And then
she made a big announcement about it in
front of the TV cameras.
Well this really ticked off Mekh, who
didn't think it was right that Khaba could
do that. Plus Mekh was annoyed that he
didn't think of it FIRST.
147
After a while Khaba had his own
fashion line and kids' cereal and even
a major motion picture in the works.
And everywhere Mekh went there was
Khaba's face.
148
Mekh thought it was time for HIM to
cash in on this mummy craze too. So
he started calling himself "The Original
Mummy" and he put a few ads out there.
But a few weeks later Mekh got a letter
from Khaba's lawyer threatening to sue
him for everything he owned unless he
took down the ads.
149
But this just made Mekh MAD. Maybe
not as mad as when he used to go around
destroying cities with his mummy powers
but still pretty mad.
So Mekh hired a lawyer of his OWN and
sued Khaba to try and stop him from
calling himself The Mummy since Mekh
was famous first. And it was a huge trial
and everyone watched it on TV.
Well Mekh didn't have a lot of money so
his lawyer wasn't as slick as Khaba's. And
when the trial ended the judge ruled that
Khaba was the winner.
150
Mekh had to agree that he'd never use
the name The Original Mummy or The
Classic Mummy or anything like that.
In fact all he was allowed to do was call
himself "a mummy" in lowercase letters.
For a while Mekh tried to make some
money by calling himself "a mummy" but
you really can't make any money with a
name like that.
151
Mekh started working at an amusement
park for Fright Nights in October. But
it wasn't that much fun because it was a
lot harder to scare people these days.
Mekh still wasn't giving up though. He
started calling himself The Dead Pharaoh
to get around the court agreement
but it turns out there was already a
professional wrestler with that name
and Mekh just ended up back in court.
152
Things were great for Khaba for a
few years but after a while the whole
mummy act got stale and people
stopped going to his movies.
Eventually he got into comedy but he
made a few stinkers and that was the
end of his film career.
153
Then someone claimed they found a big
toe in a box of Mummy Flakes and Khaba
got sued for a million dollars.
And even though it turned out the
person who sued him made the whole
thing up, nobody would buy any food
products with the word "mummy" on
them after that.
Soon Khaba's money started to dry up
and he couldn't afford the fancy lifestyle
he was used to. After a while he had to sell
his private jet and his three mansions at a
discount.
154
Things got even worse when his wife left
him and took half his money.
Khaba finally hit rock bottom when he
had to sell his own sarcophagus.<
br />
But things started to turn around for
Khaba when he ran into his old archenemy
Mekh, who was working as a food bagger
at the grocery store.
155
The two mummies got to talking and
it turned out they had a lot more in
common than they thought. Khaba and
Mekh became friends and after a while
Khaba moved into Mekh's apartment.
And even though they didn't always get
along as roommates, the one thing they
agreed on was that television really was
a pretty great invention.
157
There was once a boy named Victor, and
Victor was not a happy child.
This was a long time ago, before video
games and TV and all that. So the only
thing that Victor had to entertain himself
with were books. And since his parents
were both doctors, the only kinds of books
they kept in the house were ones about
science and medicine and stuff like that.
The other thing that made Victor sad
was that his parents wouldn't let him
have a pet. They told Victor he wasn't
responsible enough to take care of an
animal and that they'd end up doing all
the work.
158
And even when Victor promised he'd feed
his pet and take it outside three times a
day the answer was always "no."
The only thing that really made Victor
happy was school. He was a smart kid
from reading his parents' books, and his
science teacher said if he studied hard
he'd be famous for his work one day.
So when it was time for the middle school
Science Fair, Victor was really excited.
159
He worked for a whole month on his
project and he hoped it was good enough
to win first place.
But Lizzie Leggot won with a volcano
project that Victor was sure her
parents had helped her with.
So Lizzie walked away with a first place
ribbon and all Victor got was a lousy
honorable mention certificate.
160
From that moment on all Victor could
think about was NEXT year's Science
Fair. He read his parents' books from
front to back, trying to come up
with an idea for a new project, but he
couldn't think of anything that would
really knock people's socks off.
One day when Victor was looking out
his back window at the cemetery behind
his house he got an idea. To be honest it
was kind of a TWISTED idea, but Victor
knew if he could pull it off, his project
would win first place in the Science Fair
for SURE.
161
Victor did experiments in his attic every
night to get ready for the Science Fair.
His parents thought he was spending
too much time by himself and wondered
if maybe they should've let him have a
pet after all.
One year later it was finally time for
the big Science Fair, and Victor brought
his project with him to school.
162
And if you want to know where Victor
got the materials for his science project,
let's just say sometimes it's better not
to ask too many questions.
Even though Victor had been working
on his project for a whole year he didn't
know if it was gonna actually WORK. But
he knew if it didn't he'd lose to Lizzie
Leggot for the second year in a row.
So when the judges gathered around his
project, Victor crossed his fingers and
threw the switch.
163
All of Victor's hard work paid off when
his creation came to life. And this time
Victor got the first place ribbon and
Lizzie was the one who had to settle for
honorable mention.
164
On the walk home, Victor was feeling
pretty good about himself. But he kind
of wished he'd thought about what was
gonna happen after the Science Fair was
OVER because now he didn't know what
he was supposed to do with his project.
Victor thought maybe he could ditch his
creation at the cemetery but his science
project wouldn't take the hint.
165
Victor picked a stick off the ground and
chucked it over the cemetery gate. But
his creation thought it was a GAME and
brought the stick right back.
Then Victor started having FUN with
his science project, and the two of them
played for hours outside. And Victor
found out the thing his creation liked the
most was to have his belly rubbed.
166
Victor told his parents about his first
place ribbon at the Science Fair and they
were very proud of their son. And even
though they were a little concerned about
where Victor got the materials for his
project, they knew that sometimes it's
better not to ask too many questions.
Victor asked if he could keep his science
project as a pet, and after he promised
to feed it and take it out three times a
day they finally gave in and said "yes."
From that day on Victor and his new pet
were the best of friends and they never