There’s another knock.
“What can I do for you?” I say, hand ready to react.
“You can open the fucking door before I freeze my ass off.”
Fuck. I really didn’t need this tonight.
I put the gun down on the side table, open the door, and release a sigh while glaring at the asshole standing on the porch. Declan has come for a visit, I wonder why.
“What? Not happy to see me? No welcome home, brother . . . it’s nice to see you?”
“Unexpected to see you, Dec, didn’t know you’d be coming by.”
“Yeah, I talked to Jacob and Sean and drew the short straw to come check on things, make sure the conversation we had wasn’t because of some head injury, and meet your girl.”
Good for him, but I don’t want him here. I was about to have a happy night, and that has just disappeared.
“Go find a hotel,” I say and try to shut the door.
“Connor?” Ellie says from the other side. “Is everything okay?”
My brother pushes through the door, his smile as wide and as charming as ever. “You must be Ellie, I’m Declan, this ingrates older and more dashing brother.” His hand slaps on my shoulder. “I didn’t mean to intrude on your night, but I had a few days with no meetings and wanted to come out.”
“Oh!” She rushes forward with her hand out. “It’s so nice to meet you. I’m Ellie, which you knew, and well, I’ve heard so much about you.” Ellie’s voice is soft, and then she looks down. “I’m a mess. Please don’t judge me on this.”
“Of course not, it’s late, and I dropped by unexpected. Please don’t judge me on whatever manners my brother doesn’t have, and we’ll call it even.”
She laughs, and I shoot daggers at the back of his head. Such a fucking tool. “Dec was going to find a hotel.”
I make my way to stand beside Ellie. I have no idea what exactly my brother’s motives are for coming here. I don’t think it’s just for a friendly visit, though. If I had to guess, he’s here to make sure Ellie is real and that my request for land isn’t because I’m being run around by my cock. God forbid I be happy. Just because he’s too chicken shit to go for what he wants, doesn’t mean I am.
“A hotel?” Ellie asks.
Declan looks back to me and then to Ellie. “Is there even a hotel in Sugarloaf? I figured you’d offer me a room at least.”
Ellie slaps my chest. “You can’t make him go to a hotel!”
“Yes, I can.”
“I wasn’t interrupting an important evening, was I?” Declan’s grin makes me want to punch him.
“Yes.”
“No,” Ellie answers at the same time.
He smirks at me as though he knows what he spoiled tonight. That’s fine, he isn’t the only one who has something to use against the other. Declan forgets that this town is small, and we’re not in the days of no cell phones and where we have to sneak out to see someone. I can get a message to a girl he’s avoiding very quickly.
“We just got Hadley . . . our . . . my . . .”
“Our daughter,” I answer, saving her from trying to figure out if I’d told him or not.
Her smile is warm, face shining with joy. “Our daughter to bed. I’m sure you guys have a lot to catch up on, and it’s getting late, so I’m going to head to bed.”
“Please, don’t feel you have to run off on my account.” Declan tries to stop her.
“No, no, it’s not that. I have work in the morning, and I really am beat.”
I want to choke my brother.
“Dec, why don’t you go to bed, I’m sure you’re tired after your long, uninvited drive out here. Ellie and I were going to talk.”
“Connor, it’s really okay, we can talk anytime. You and your brother probably want to catch up.” She walks over to me, places a kiss on my cheek. “Good night.”
“I really wanted us to be happy.” I know I sound like a petulant kid, but I don’t care.
She smiles. “We can be happy tomorrow.”
Declan laughs but covers it with a cough.
He’s dead.
Ellie blushes and then takes a step backward. “Good night, and it was nice to meet you.”
“You too, Ellie.”
When she’s out of sight, I turn to my brother. “What the hell are you doing here, Declan?”
“We have to talk, and I thought it was best to do it in person.”
He turns and heads outside, giving me no other option than to follow.
Chapter Thirty-One
Connor
Declan and I walk in silence, and I can feel the tension rolling off him.
He keeps going, and as much as I want to stop him and demand he spill it, I know my brother. Sean and Jacob can be pushed, Dec can’t. He works through things in his mind, weighing each possibility before attacking. It’s why he’s successful in his business. He sees the field before making a play.
When we get to the barn that I’ve busted my ass in getting fixed up, he finally stops. “She’s pretty.”
At first, I’m not sure if he means the barn or Ellie, but then he looks back toward the house. “She’s more than just pretty.”
“Is that what this is? A crush or whatever you want to call it?”
“Fuck you for even asking me that,” I spit back at him. “I have a kid, Dec. A fucking kid. I love that woman, and I love my daughter.”
He raises both hands. “Easy! I’m asking because the last time I saw you, it was fuck this place and burn it down. Now you’re asking to buy some of the land on the very farm we swore we’d never come back to. I don’t know how the hell you thought any of us weren’t going to come see if aliens abducted you or whatever. For all we knew, she found out who I was and was extorting money from you.”
I clench my fists and release them at least three times before deciding I need to walk away for a minute. There has never been a time where I’ve actually wanted to raise my fists in anger toward my brothers. I may be willing to break my other promises, but that is one I never will. Declan must know how pissed I am because he stays silent as I work through it.
Once I’m calm enough, I turn and face him. “You may be willing to walk away from what you want, but this isn’t an option. If you three don’t want to sell me the land, that’s fine. I’ll take the money from the sale and buy my own. You don’t have to understand or agree with me, but I thought you’d at least respect my decision.”
“I do respect it! That’s why I’m fucking here! I called Sean and Jacob, who think you’re insane, but they also want you to be happy. How much do you know about Ellie?”
I swear that he’s trying to piss me off on purpose. “I know enough.”
“I don’t think you do, Connor.” There is a small stretch of silence where I want to demand he tell me what the fuck is going on, but I force myself to wait him out. “I came because you need to know something, and like I said, I wasn’t going to do this over the phone.”
“If it’s so important, just tell me already.” I’m tired, and my brother ruined what was looking like a good night. I have no patience for listening to him talk in circles.
Declan sighs, and in an uncharacteristic move, he runs his hand down his face. I’ve seen Declan upset, angry, disappointed, and proud, but this emotion I don’t know. He looks almost . . . sad.
“What do you remember about that night?”
My body locks because of all the things we talk about in our past, that night isn’t one. We never bring it up, content to pretend it didn’t happen. It was when I knew that, no matter what, I could never forgive my father. It was the night he made four boys deal with something they never should’ve. He forced us all into a lifetime of regret and anger.
Declan tried to shield the three of us, but there was no way he could. Dad made sure that if one went down, we all did. He wanted to be sure that through our guilt, we would protect him because we always protect each other.
“I remember everything.”
“
Me too. As hard as I try to forget, I can’t.”
“Why are you bringing this up, Dec?”
He sighs and then sits on the bale of hay. “I need you to hear me out before you go ape-shit and act like I did something you wouldn’t have done if the roles were reversed.”
“Okay.”
I say it, but I don’t mean it. If he did something to jeopardize my relationship with Ellie and Hadley, my brother will not like the results.
“Right. Well, I’m going to get it all out, and you’re going to listen because whether you want to believe it or not, this family is all I care about, and anyone who threatens it is my problem. I worked way too fucking hard to keep the four of us out of jail or turning into degenerate drunks like our father.”
“The point, Dec.”
I can now add that stalling is something my brother isn’t good at. It’s going to come out, so he might as well get it over with.
However, Declan seems to be struggling with whatever it is that he drove four hours to come tell me.
“After our call, I had my security team check Ellie out.”
Now I’m going to lose it. “Excuse me?”
“Jesus Christ, I did what any one of us would, Connor. I had her investigated.”
My lips flatten, and I focus on breathing through my nose. “You crossed a line, Declan. You had no right to do that.”
He throws his hands up. “I had no right? I’m your fucking brother who has stood by your side, protected you, given up everything, just like you did! I’m not playing games, Connor. I didn’t take some great joy in this. The last thing I wanted to do was come here and have to show you this!”
“Show me what?” I keep my voice even. It’s clear that Declan is upset, which has me on edge.
He runs his hands through his hair and shakes his head. “First, let me explain what I found.”
I motion for him to go ahead.
“I didn’t have much to go on other than she was in Sugarloaf and had to live close. After some digging, they found Ellie Walcott, who was married to a Kevin Walcott, who was recently arrested, and they had a daughter.”
I roll my eyes and huff. “I know all this.”
“Just shut up and let me get this out.”
“Fine.” My patience is wearing thin.
“They had a hard time finding any history on Ellie. She wasn’t from the area as I had . . . assumed because, who the fuck moves to Sugarloaf? So, they dug deeper and that’s when we discovered her history.”
“Is she some kind of drug dealer and her parents died in some nefarious way?” I taunt him because this is a bit melodramatic.
Then he extends an envelope. “Not exactly, but, you’re not that far off.”
“Far off about what?”
“In that envelope is her birth certificate, marriage license, and a police report. All of which you’ll piece together.”
I’m still not following. “What does any of this have to do with anything?”
Declan waits, his hesitation almost cloyingly thick. “Open the file, Connor.”
I blow a deep breath through my nose and do as he asks. I lift the documents, first seeing her birth certificate, and then marriage license, showing she did marry Kevin, and then the police report. The one with the date I will never forget.
I look to him, the blood draining from my face. “No.”
“Her last name,” he says the name at the same time I read it again.
It must be true. My brother wouldn’t drive four hours to come see me just to lie to me. He wouldn’t have this look of dread in his eyes if it weren’t the one name that could destroy everything. “Cody.”
And then the perfection of the day is gone.
Because my father is the one who killed Ellie’s parents, and I helped cover it up.
Declan shakes his head. “I’m sorry.”
I grip my hair and groan. “No! Fucking hell! This can’t be my goddamn life! Jesus, she’s never going to understand.”
“Look, I know that this is a lot, but you can’t tell her, Connor. You have to protect all of us. This isn’t just about you—this could fuck all of us.”
I look at my brother like he has ten heads. He can’t possibly mean I need to keep this from her. “You can’t ask that of me.”
“Do you think I do it easily?”
I don’t care. “I fucking love her, Dec! You can’t ask me to lie to her.”
“You want to see us all in jail? You’ll be there too, right next to your brothers.” His hand grips my shoulders. “We’re family. We’re all each other has, and we have to protect each other.”
I take a step back. “Then why fucking tell me?” I scream and shove him. Declan stumbles back slightly but catches himself. “Why would you put this on me, you son of a bitch? How could you think I would be able to go on with my life after you told me? Do you not see what this means? Hadley’s grandfather killed her grandparents. I mean—Jesus fucking Christ, how the hell do I keep this secret?”
Pity fills my brother’s eyes, and he sighs. “I don’t know, but until I talk to Sean and Jacob, this isn’t your secret to tell yet. I told you because if you’d learned it from Ellie, you would’ve done exactly this.”
Until now, I’d always admired my brother’s ability to think clearly. In this moment, he doesn’t understand. He can’t. Ellie isn’t just some piece of ass I’m willing to walk away from. She’s my future.
“I don’t know how long I can hold it in,” I admit. “I’m not going to lose her, Dec. If she figures it out on her own, that would be it. I’d lose her and Hadley, and I’m sorry, I love you and Sean and Jake, but . . . I choose her. And if you, of all people, don’t understand that, well then, to hell with you.”
Declan made a choice eight years ago, and it cost him everything he loved.
Sydney.
“I need a few days. Let me talk to them, and . . . we’ll figure it out. I’m sorry, brother. I really am. Believe me, I made them check the information three times and then pull the police report because I didn’t want it to be true. I know you think we’re all pissed that you found someone, but we’re happy for you. We don’t want you to walk away from it. Just . . . give me a few days, and then the chips can fall where they may.”
A few days of lying and pretending . . . God help me.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Ellie
I’m sitting in the teacher’s lounge, trying to focus on work. Today, my boss is going to observe me, and all I can think about is Connor.
I need to get it together.
He and his brother were already out when I got up this morning and I missed having coffee with Connor on the front porch. It’s become our morning ritual, and now my day feels off because we missed it.
Hadley was a whole other derailment this morning. Getting her up was almost impossible. She was slower than normal and had to ask a question every three seconds. It was a miracle I was able to get to work on time today.
The door opens, and Mrs. Symonds walks in. “Ready for today?”
No.
“Of course,” I answer instead.
“You don’t have to lie, I know my teachers dread me coming in, but this is an exciting observation, Ellie.”
It’s my last one. If I get through today with good remarks, it’s most likely they’ll offer me the permanent position. I’m really hoping that’s the case.
I’ve never had anything that allowed me choices. Having this job gives me an income that provides an independence I need. While Connor and Kevin may be nothing alike, it doesn’t mean I will ever be beholden to another man.
I want to love and be equal with Connor.
“I’m actually really ready for it and very hopeful that the outcome suits us both.”
She sits at that table and rests her hands on mine. “The last few months you’ve really blossomed. You’ve not only been smiling more than I think I’ve ever seen you do before but also your students are thriving. I never wanted to pry into your
personal life, I make an effort not to do so with any of my teachers, but I want you to know that I’m relieved that you’re in a better place.”
“I am too. It’s sad it had to happen the way it did, but I’m happy now.”
“You know, Connor was one of my students,” she says with a wistful smile. “He was the sweetest of the Arrowood boys. That Jacob was a thorn in my side, but Connor was always the kindhearted one, even if he didn’t think he was.”
It isn’t hard to imagine what he was like back then. He was just eighteen years old, and I was too. We were barely adults, kids who had been forced to grow up rather quickly.
“He’s a good man.”
“It’s sad how those boys grew up. I knew their mom, she was such a wonderful woman, and their father loved her with a ferocity that was unparalleled to anything I’d ever seen before. When she died, he lost it. I remember trying to drop by once, and he was so drunk, I don’t think he knew his own name, let alone mine.”
I stay quiet, feeding on any information she’s willing to share. Connor and I talk about things, but asking him to go back in time is not something I want to do.
“Anyway . . .” She seems to remember herself. “I wish I had stepped in. We all saw the bruises, but back then, it wasn’t something teachers reported that often. At least not in a small town like this. So, we all kept quiet, remarked to each other about the tragedy that was the Arrowood brothers, and I’ve lived with the regrets ever since. It also taught me not to stay quiet when I see things.”
“More people need to speak up for those who can’t,” I say and hope she understands that she’s part of what forced me to wake up. “If it weren’t for the people who cared about me and Hadley, I don’t know that I’d be sitting here today.”
Mrs. Symonds wrings her hands together and sighs. “And that would’ve been a loss I never would have recovered from. I’m hoping today goes well, Ellie. I’d like for us to have more talks in the future.”
Her not-so-subtle hint makes me smile. It’s one more thing to be grateful about in my life.
“Me too.”
“I’ll see you in a bit, I need to go grab a cup of coffee.”
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