The Sassy Belles
by Beth Albright
Meet the Sassy Belles. They're strong as a mint julep, sweet as peach cobbler, and no matter what, they stick together. There are only two seasons in Tuscaloosa - football and waiting-for-football. When Lewis Heart, football announcer and voice of the Crimson Tide, vanishes after an impromptu romp with Vivi Ann McFadden at the Fountain Mist Motel, Vivi does what any Southern woman would do: call her best friend, Blake O'Hara Heart, attorney-at-law. With the town gossip swirling around them, Vivi and Blake are determined to find out what happened to Lewis and clear Vivi's reputation. Because after all, men may come and go, but the Sassy Belles are forever. Not since Steel Magnolias have we fallen in love with such sexy, strong and hilarious Southern women. So grab your best girlfriends and join these Belles on the first of many joyrides through the Deep South....
*Meet the Sassy BellesThey're strong as a mint julep, sweet as peach cobbler, and no matter what, they stick together.*There are only two seasons in Tuscaloosa—football and waiting-for-football. When Lewis Heart, football announcer and voice of the Crimson Tide, vanishes after an impromptu romp with Vivi Ann McFadden at the Fountain Mist Motel, Vivi does what any Southern woman would do: call her best friend, Blake O'Hara Heart, attorney-at-law.With the town gossip swirling around them, Vivi and Blake are determined to find out what happened to Lewis and clear Vivi's reputation. Because after all, men may come and go, but the Sassy Belles are forever.Not since Steel Magnolias have we fallen in love with such sexy, strong and hilarious Southern women. So grab your best girlfriends and join these Belles on the first of many joyrides through the Deep South….About the AuthorBeth Albright is a Tuscaloosa native, former Days of Our Lives actress, and former radio and TV talk show host. She is a graduate of the University of Alabama School of Journalism. She is also a screenwriter, voice-over artist and mother. She is married to her college sweetheart, Ted. A perpetually homesick Southern Belle and a major Alabama Crimson Tide fan, she splits her time between San Francisco and, of course, Tuscaloosa. Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.My name is Blake O'Hara Heart and, boy, do I have a story to tell! It wouldn't be such a story if Vivi, my best friend since forever, hadn't done what she did. You have to understand that women in the South, women of Southern blood, just don't partake in scandalous adventures—and when we do, it's in a discreet manner. We have reputations to consider, after all. But since Vivi's trouble became headline news, our lives became anything but discreet. I'm an attorney, and even I wasn't sure I could get her out of this one.When I met Vivi in the third grade, we were silly nine-year-olds in ponytails and Catholic school uniforms. She was exciting and confident. I loved her immediately. I was new to St. Catherine's, Tuscaloosa's Catholic academy, and didn't know a soul. Vivi made a beeline across the room, her pale and freckled arm outstretched. "Hi," she said. "My name is Vivi Ann McFadden. I'll take care of you today and make sure you don't get lost. This is my fourth year here including kindergarten. So, I'm an expert." I loved her self-assurance, outspokenness and all that crazy, wild red hair, which she was constantly pushing from her face.She took care of me that day, it's true. But from eight o'clock the very next morning I have been taking care of her. I always want to protect her, but she makes that difficult. Her huge messes are almost always of her own making. Luckily for both of us, I've always known how to get her out of jail, so to speak. But this particular instance, on this particular day—well, let's just say she must think I'm a miracle worker.See, the problem is, in Alabama, women are most definitely…women. Vivi—well, some would call her opinionated. Others would say, "Bless her heart, that girl is just a redneck!" That's a little secret of the South: you can say awful and insulting things about anyone, and as long as you start with "Bless her heart" you're not really gossiping. Like, "Bless her heart, that girl looks like a pregnant heifer in that dress." See? That makes it look like we're so sad for her, when you know we really think otherwise. Women from Alabama are strong—well, stubborn—and, above all, we are beautiful. There's nothing in the world a little spackle and Aqua Net won't fix. We are trained by way of the beauty pageant system. In the Deep South, pageants aren't just fun, they're a way of life. With the heavy doll makeup applied to perfection, the big hair jacked up to Jesus and the princess-cut, bedazzled gowns with full crinoline and sometimes even a hoop skirt underneath—we are brought up to walk the runway. And a proper Southern girl always has a strand of pearls around her neck. That way, if anyone ever needs to be strangled, we have the perfect tool. Just remove and use.But Vivi never quite fit into the fru fru of it all. Her frizzy, wiry Irish curls and endless sea of freckles made her a standout for all the wrong reasons. Her skin was so white she was almost blue. But I thought she was beautiful. She had a wonderfully infectious smile, straight, pearly white teeth, ruby-red lips that never needed lipstick and I thought her green eyes were just perfect. Vivi was a real Southern blue blood, too. She came from sugar cane. Really! An actual plantation was part of her family history. And that made what Vivi did seem like the end of the world. Someone from the "uppa crust" wouldn't dare be involved in such activities. But Vivi wasn't quite as "uppa crust" as the rest of her family. I mean, how could a blue blood be a redneck? That's exactly what made me love her. She was different. Unexpected. Surprising. What she did was a surprise, all right, but not the kind you hope for on Christmas morning..Harry, my husband and my law partner, was in the lobby of the old Tutwiler Hotel when the news came. He was waiting to meet me. It was our tenth anniversary and we were meeting for lunch. We did this every year; same table, same bourbon-n-peach cobbler. I wasn't looking as forward to this lunch as I had been on other anniversaries, though. Harry and I had been having some problems. Well, unless you don't consider silence a problem. We had been growing apart as he grew ever closer to his political dreams. With every step toward his coveted Senate seat, he stepped farther away from me. My plan was to talk to him during our lunch, to tell him that I'd had enough of his absentee husband routine. I spent all morning gearing up to tell him that I was through with being second to his career and his political dreams—it was time to focus on our marriage, or I wanted a separation. Of course, I'd been a nervous wreck since I'd opened my eyes that morning. But, lucky for me, I was saved by the belle…a belle named Vivi.I was running late that morning, which was basically on par for me. I was stuck at the law school in an alumni meeting that was reaching into an eternity. I was sure Harry stood patiently waiting, checking his pocket watch at least once every 23 seconds, then glancing into the nearest mirror to check his gorgeous hair. If there was a mirror within 20 yards, you'd find Harry looking at himself——usually in admiration—but checking, always checking, for perfection. Every thick strand of hair in place, gold cuff links hitting just at the hem of his suit sleeves—down to the last detail, Harry liked to be in control. His cell phone rang in his vest pocket. It was Vivi."Harry, where are you?" she said.Now, Harry is rock-solid by anyone's standards, by far the most patient soul. His emotions are buried deep, like down near the Earth's core. But, as even-keeled as he is, Vivi could almost always manage to rattle his cage. This phone call would shake Harry to his soul."I'm in the Tutwiler waiting on Blake," he answered."Shit! I forgot it's your anniversary," she said. "Harry, forgive me for this. I need Blake.""She's at the university, Vivi. You okay?" Harry asked."Harry, I'm drivin' and I don't have a destination," Vivi said in her thick-as-molasses Southern voice. This wasn't the typical Vivi call for help."Vivi, where are you?" he said."I don't know. I'm just drivin'. When can I talk to Blake? When will she be there?"Harry was having trouble making sense of her words between her frantic nonsense and the god-awful cell reception."Vivi, just tell me where you are and Blake and I will meet you," Harry said.There was no response."Vivi! Vivi! Can you hear me?" Harry shouted. By this time, he'd stepped outside onto the courtyard for a little more privacy once he realized everyone in the lobby was staring at him for all the wrong reasons.Vivi answered slow and sober. "Harry.I think I've just killed Lewis."Silence followed."Harry? Did you hear me? Lewis is layin' dead in the bed, buck naked and blue, at the Fountain Mist on I20!" Vivi screamed.Harry Heart came from a long line of legal counsel—defense attorneys to be exact. Generations upon generations of Hearts were all University of Alabama Law School graduates.All except for Lewis. Lewis was Harry's younger brother. He was the wayward son who wound up on the radio. He was the play-by-play announcer for the University of Alabama Crimson Tide; a partygoer so popular with the women, he never married—never had to. All of his needs were met nightly by the groupies, from cheerleaders to professors to coach's wives. Lewis Heart was at your service, so to speak.Harry stood among the gardenia blossoms in the Tutwiler courtyard, dumbfounded, wanting to utter something, but unable to make a sound. Finally, he managed to ask, "Vivi, are you talkin' 'bout my Lewis?""Yes, dammit, Harry," Vivi said. "Who the hell else? Oh, my God, he's dead. He's dead, Harry! And I've killed him, I know it!""Stop, Vivi. Slow down," Harry said. "Okay. Let me get Blake. We'll meet you at Mother's.""I'm sittin' in front of her house right now, Harry. I didn't know where else to go."Meredith Blakely Fletcher is my maternal grandmother and the matriarch of everything. She is known affectionately as "Mother" to everyone who knows her. Her house has always been the command center. At one time or another it had been home to all of us, both friends and family alike. It became known as "Mother's" decades before I was even born.Mother has a real rags-to-riches story. A young woman during World War Two, she was born in the mud of the Mississippi Delta, surrounded by money and old plantations, but never quite able to grasp it herself. She was absolutely gorgeous, a movie-star type of beauty with dark, wavy hair and eyes as blue-green as the Gulf. She worked at a five-and-dime during the war as a cosmetic salesperson. One day a handsome young law student by the name of Frank Fletcher came into the store and approached the lunch counter. Her Southern beauty caught his Yankee eye and they were together for 41 years, until his death twenty-one years ago. My New York-born grandfather always bragged that he found a million-dollar baby in the five- and ten-cent store, just like the song says.Frank gave Meridee, as he affectionately called her, everything: a big Southern home and the exciting life of a wealthy lawyer's wife in the late forties and fifties. Frank set up his practice and Meridee gave birth to three children. She entertained with lavish parties for Frank's clients and two maids helped her care for her home and children. Meridee was the epitome of a Southern blue blood, even though her blood had originally run plain ole red.Eventually, after much success on his own, Frank Fletcher and Hank Heart set up practice together. Yes, Hank is my Harry's grandfather and, n...
*Meet the Sassy BellesThey're strong as a mint julep, sweet as peach cobbler, and no matter what, they stick together.*There are only two seasons in Tuscaloosa—football and waiting-for-football. When Lewis Heart, football announcer and voice of the Crimson Tide, vanishes after an impromptu romp with Vivi Ann McFadden at the Fountain Mist Motel, Vivi does what any Southern woman would do: call her best friend, Blake O'Hara Heart, attorney-at-law.With the town gossip swirling around them, Vivi and Blake are determined to find out what happened to Lewis and clear Vivi's reputation. Because after all, men may come and go, but the Sassy Belles are forever.Not since Steel Magnolias have we fallen in love with such sexy, strong and hilarious Southern women. So grab your best girlfriends and join these Belles on the first of many joyrides through the Deep South….About the AuthorBeth Albright is a Tuscaloosa native, former Days of Our Lives actress, and former radio and TV talk show host. She is a graduate of the University of Alabama School of Journalism. She is also a screenwriter, voice-over artist and mother. She is married to her college sweetheart, Ted. A perpetually homesick Southern Belle and a major Alabama Crimson Tide fan, she splits her time between San Francisco and, of course, Tuscaloosa. Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.My name is Blake O'Hara Heart and, boy, do I have a story to tell! It wouldn't be such a story if Vivi, my best friend since forever, hadn't done what she did. You have to understand that women in the South, women of Southern blood, just don't partake in scandalous adventures—and when we do, it's in a discreet manner. We have reputations to consider, after all. But since Vivi's trouble became headline news, our lives became anything but discreet. I'm an attorney, and even I wasn't sure I could get her out of this one.When I met Vivi in the third grade, we were silly nine-year-olds in ponytails and Catholic school uniforms. She was exciting and confident. I loved her immediately. I was new to St. Catherine's, Tuscaloosa's Catholic academy, and didn't know a soul. Vivi made a beeline across the room, her pale and freckled arm outstretched. "Hi," she said. "My name is Vivi Ann McFadden. I'll take care of you today and make sure you don't get lost. This is my fourth year here including kindergarten. So, I'm an expert." I loved her self-assurance, outspokenness and all that crazy, wild red hair, which she was constantly pushing from her face.She took care of me that day, it's true. But from eight o'clock the very next morning I have been taking care of her. I always want to protect her, but she makes that difficult. Her huge messes are almost always of her own making. Luckily for both of us, I've always known how to get her out of jail, so to speak. But this particular instance, on this particular day—well, let's just say she must think I'm a miracle worker.See, the problem is, in Alabama, women are most definitely…women. Vivi—well, some would call her opinionated. Others would say, "Bless her heart, that girl is just a redneck!" That's a little secret of the South: you can say awful and insulting things about anyone, and as long as you start with "Bless her heart" you're not really gossiping. Like, "Bless her heart, that girl looks like a pregnant heifer in that dress." See? That makes it look like we're so sad for her, when you know we really think otherwise. Women from Alabama are strong—well, stubborn—and, above all, we are beautiful. There's nothing in the world a little spackle and Aqua Net won't fix. We are trained by way of the beauty pageant system. In the Deep South, pageants aren't just fun, they're a way of life. With the heavy doll makeup applied to perfection, the big hair jacked up to Jesus and the princess-cut, bedazzled gowns with full crinoline and sometimes even a hoop skirt underneath—we are brought up to walk the runway. And a proper Southern girl always has a strand of pearls around her neck. That way, if anyone ever needs to be strangled, we have the perfect tool. Just remove and use.But Vivi never quite fit into the fru fru of it all. Her frizzy, wiry Irish curls and endless sea of freckles made her a standout for all the wrong reasons. Her skin was so white she was almost blue. But I thought she was beautiful. She had a wonderfully infectious smile, straight, pearly white teeth, ruby-red lips that never needed lipstick and I thought her green eyes were just perfect. Vivi was a real Southern blue blood, too. She came from sugar cane. Really! An actual plantation was part of her family history. And that made what Vivi did seem like the end of the world. Someone from the "uppa crust" wouldn't dare be involved in such activities. But Vivi wasn't quite as "uppa crust" as the rest of her family. I mean, how could a blue blood be a redneck? That's exactly what made me love her. She was different. Unexpected. Surprising. What she did was a surprise, all right, but not the kind you hope for on Christmas morning..Harry, my husband and my law partner, was in the lobby of the old Tutwiler Hotel when the news came. He was waiting to meet me. It was our tenth anniversary and we were meeting for lunch. We did this every year; same table, same bourbon-n-peach cobbler. I wasn't looking as forward to this lunch as I had been on other anniversaries, though. Harry and I had been having some problems. Well, unless you don't consider silence a problem. We had been growing apart as he grew ever closer to his political dreams. With every step toward his coveted Senate seat, he stepped farther away from me. My plan was to talk to him during our lunch, to tell him that I'd had enough of his absentee husband routine. I spent all morning gearing up to tell him that I was through with being second to his career and his political dreams—it was time to focus on our marriage, or I wanted a separation. Of course, I'd been a nervous wreck since I'd opened my eyes that morning. But, lucky for me, I was saved by the belle…a belle named Vivi.I was running late that morning, which was basically on par for me. I was stuck at the law school in an alumni meeting that was reaching into an eternity. I was sure Harry stood patiently waiting, checking his pocket watch at least once every 23 seconds, then glancing into the nearest mirror to check his gorgeous hair. If there was a mirror within 20 yards, you'd find Harry looking at himself——usually in admiration—but checking, always checking, for perfection. Every thick strand of hair in place, gold cuff links hitting just at the hem of his suit sleeves—down to the last detail, Harry liked to be in control. His cell phone rang in his vest pocket. It was Vivi."Harry, where are you?" she said.Now, Harry is rock-solid by anyone's standards, by far the most patient soul. His emotions are buried deep, like down near the Earth's core. But, as even-keeled as he is, Vivi could almost always manage to rattle his cage. This phone call would shake Harry to his soul."I'm in the Tutwiler waiting on Blake," he answered."Shit! I forgot it's your anniversary," she said. "Harry, forgive me for this. I need Blake.""She's at the university, Vivi. You okay?" Harry asked."Harry, I'm drivin' and I don't have a destination," Vivi said in her thick-as-molasses Southern voice. This wasn't the typical Vivi call for help."Vivi, where are you?" he said."I don't know. I'm just drivin'. When can I talk to Blake? When will she be there?"Harry was having trouble making sense of her words between her frantic nonsense and the god-awful cell reception."Vivi, just tell me where you are and Blake and I will meet you," Harry said.There was no response."Vivi! Vivi! Can you hear me?" Harry shouted. By this time, he'd stepped outside onto the courtyard for a little more privacy once he realized everyone in the lobby was staring at him for all the wrong reasons.Vivi answered slow and sober. "Harry.I think I've just killed Lewis."Silence followed."Harry? Did you hear me? Lewis is layin' dead in the bed, buck naked and blue, at the Fountain Mist on I20!" Vivi screamed.Harry Heart came from a long line of legal counsel—defense attorneys to be exact. Generations upon generations of Hearts were all University of Alabama Law School graduates.All except for Lewis. Lewis was Harry's younger brother. He was the wayward son who wound up on the radio. He was the play-by-play announcer for the University of Alabama Crimson Tide; a partygoer so popular with the women, he never married—never had to. All of his needs were met nightly by the groupies, from cheerleaders to professors to coach's wives. Lewis Heart was at your service, so to speak.Harry stood among the gardenia blossoms in the Tutwiler courtyard, dumbfounded, wanting to utter something, but unable to make a sound. Finally, he managed to ask, "Vivi, are you talkin' 'bout my Lewis?""Yes, dammit, Harry," Vivi said. "Who the hell else? Oh, my God, he's dead. He's dead, Harry! And I've killed him, I know it!""Stop, Vivi. Slow down," Harry said. "Okay. Let me get Blake. We'll meet you at Mother's.""I'm sittin' in front of her house right now, Harry. I didn't know where else to go."Meredith Blakely Fletcher is my maternal grandmother and the matriarch of everything. She is known affectionately as "Mother" to everyone who knows her. Her house has always been the command center. At one time or another it had been home to all of us, both friends and family alike. It became known as "Mother's" decades before I was even born.Mother has a real rags-to-riches story. A young woman during World War Two, she was born in the mud of the Mississippi Delta, surrounded by money and old plantations, but never quite able to grasp it herself. She was absolutely gorgeous, a movie-star type of beauty with dark, wavy hair and eyes as blue-green as the Gulf. She worked at a five-and-dime during the war as a cosmetic salesperson. One day a handsome young law student by the name of Frank Fletcher came into the store and approached the lunch counter. Her Southern beauty caught his Yankee eye and they were together for 41 years, until his death twenty-one years ago. My New York-born grandfather always bragged that he found a million-dollar baby in the five- and ten-cent store, just like the song says.Frank gave Meridee, as he affectionately called her, everything: a big Southern home and the exciting life of a wealthy lawyer's wife in the late forties and fifties. Frank set up his practice and Meridee gave birth to three children. She entertained with lavish parties for Frank's clients and two maids helped her care for her home and children. Meridee was the epitome of a Southern blue blood, even though her blood had originally run plain ole red.Eventually, after much success on his own, Frank Fletcher and Hank Heart set up practice together. Yes, Hank is my Harry's grandfather and, n...