Knight's Absolution (Knights of Hell Book 5)

by Sherilee Gray

Ice slid down her spine and she took a step back.

  How could she put Gunner through that? She should never have come to his room. He’d done so much for her already. She swallowed down the pain. “God, I’m sorry for putting you in this situation, Gunner. I’m taking advantage of your kindness. I’m not sure what came over me.”

  “Luna—”

  She took another step back, which felt wrong, so wrong. “I know I’m…ugly and my eyes are unnatural and creepy to look at and you’ve had to endure me feeding off you every night. You must think I’m so fucking selfish asking for more. It’s just that I’ve never been kissed before, and it looked really nice, and I’ve been feeling so strange, and I’m…drawn to you in a way that confuses me and I couldn’t sleep, so I came here and—”

  “Shhh,” he said as he closed the space between them, his jaw working and his eyes almost black again. “Don’t…do not say another fucking word, Luna.”

  She blinked up at him, stunned. His arm curled around her waist and he tugged her in close, pressing his big body against hers. He was trembling. Her knight was trembling so hard she felt it.

  “Gunner—”

  “Shhh,” he said again and shook his head.

  He closed his eyes and took several long, slow, deep breaths, and when he opened his eyes again, they weren’t as dark, she could see the golden flecks among the amber.

  “Azel told you, you were ugly? That your eyes were unnatural?”

  She nodded since he obviously did want her to speak right then.

  “I’m gonna back up to that in a minute, but first I’m gonna tell you this again. I don’t endure you feeding from me, I fucking love it. I like being able to give that to you. And I sure as fuck don’t think you’re selfish, not in any way.” His hand cupped her face, and he looked deep into her eyes. “Now we’re gonna circle back to the first thing you said, okay?”

  “Okay,” she whispered, caught in his gaze.

  He took another one of his deep, shaky breaths. “You, Luna, are the most beautiful female I have ever laid eyes on. Ever. To me, you are fucking perfect. That is not bullshit. I’m not just saying that shit to make you feel better. I’m saying it because it’s the truth. Do you believe me?”

  Could he really see her that way?

  “Do you believe me?” he repeated.

  His gaze was so intense, so earnest, she could almost believe him. God, she wanted to. She wanted it to be true so badly.

  “Luna?”

  She nodded, giving this kind male what he wanted. Her eyes stung the way they did before she cried. He was trying to make her feel better, and she couldn’t bear to disappoint him.

  “As for your eyes? Ever since I first saw you when we came for Grace…” He brushed her temple with his thumb. “I dreamed about these stunning violet eyes, Luna. Dreamed night after night about them, and when I found you and you looked into mine, I knew it was you, instantly. My dream girl. And fuck, love, I can’t tell you how happy, how relieved I was that you were still alive.”

  “I don’t know if I am…alive,” she whispered, her skin flushing and tingles igniting all over her body. She was surprised she’d managed to speak after the things he’d just said, with the way her entire body was reacting to his beautiful, kind words.

  He chuckled, but the sound was pained. “You’re here with me, warm and perfect, and talking and moving. That’s all I give a fuck about.”

  His words stripped down her walls, layer by layer. What could she say to that?

  “I’m going to kiss you now, not on your cheek, not like a friend, but like a male kisses his female. Do you know why that is, Luna?”

  She stared up at him, belly fluttering wildly, palms sweaty, chest warm and flippy, and shook her head, because she knew what he was about to say was going to shake her to the soles of her feet. “No.”

  “Because you are mine. Mine, Luna. Do you understand?”

  She shook her head again, even as everything inside her felt as if it exploded, but not in a painful way, in a wonderful way. Which didn’t make any sense, but that’s exactly how it felt.

  He huffed out a sound that was half grunt, half laugh. “You will, I promise.”

  Then he cupped the back of her head and leaned in. For a moment, his mouth lingered above hers, then finally, he pressed his lips against hers. His were warm and soft, but firm as well, and forget tingles, electric zaps shot all over her body, from her lips down her arms, through her belly, between her thighs, and down to her curled toes.

  Gunner moaned and tilted his head as he moved his mouth over hers. His beard tickled her skin, and she grabbed for purchase. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, so all she could do was wrap her arms around him and hold on as her knees went weak, threatening to give out on her completely.

  And just when she didn’t think it could get any better, he swiped his tongue over her lower lip, the way she did every night over the puncture wounds she made in his skin. She moaned and her mouth kind of just…opened, and she did the same back to him.

  He made that low, vibrating sound he said was his demon purring and kissed her deeper, his tongue licking into her mouth, tasting her, and she tasted back, stroking his tongue with her own.

  His hand stayed at the back of her head, fingers buried in her hair the way Azel used to do when she’d fed from him. But it didn’t feel the same. Gunner wasn’t tugging, controlling, instead he was gentle, his fingers moving in a restless way that felt really good.

  His other hand slid to her lower back, and he tugged her in tight to his body. She gasped into his mouth when she felt a hard ridge against her belly. She’d never thought much about that part of a man’s body, not even when Azel had taken her during feeding. She’d felt nothing, had just been glad that he was taking his payment so he wouldn’t use it against her later.

  Now she was…curious.

  She pushed her body against him as well, and when that didn’t appease her curiosity, she reached down and cupped his thick length.

  He jerked back with a hiss.

  She froze. “Sorry, I’m not sure why I did that. I was just…I was curious.”

  He was doing that fast breathing thing again.

  “It’s fine.” He was trembling harder as well. “I wasn’t expecting it, that’s all. But I think we should take things slow, yeah?”

  “What things?” she said as she moved back in, resting her hands on his chest because she needed to touch him.

  “I’ll explain, I promise.” His gaze was dark again and searched hers. “Did you like it, the second kiss?”

  “Yeah, I liked it.” Like wasn’t anywhere near a big enough word, though. She wanted to make him understand. “I felt zaps all over my body, but they were really good zaps. My nipples are still tingling and between my thighs is…”

  “I think I should take you back to your room now,” he growled low.

  “Why? I want to keep kissing. I thought you liked it, too?” she said, unable to hold anything back or filter her words.

  He groaned, and it sounded pained. “I do. I want to keep kissing you as well, love, I can’t tell you how much I want that. But yeah, we need to take it slow, and we need to talk before this goes any farther. So tonight, you’ll go back to your room, and tomorrow we’ll talk, okay?”

  She had no idea what he was talking about. He was serious, though, but honestly, all she could think about was him telling her that he wanted to keep kissing her. “Are you sure we can’t keep kissing?”

  He muttered a curse, took her hand, and led her out into the hall and back to her room. When they got there, he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers again, giving her a kiss that wasn’t a friend kiss but wasn’t like the one they’d had in his apartment either. It was really nice, but she still wanted another one of those deep kisses.

  “When we get back tomorrow night, we’ll talk,” he said to her.

  “What about?”

  He chuckled. “I’ll tell you tomorrow when we get back.”

  “Hmm.”
She’d be worried if he didn’t look so happy about whatever they needed to talk about. “Will I like this conversation you have planned?”

  He chuckled again and pressed a kiss to her forehead, which should probably feel like a friend kiss, but didn’t either. “I fucking hope so.”

  “Fine, I’ll wait.”

  He took a step back, grinning. “Night, love.”

  “Night, Gunner.”

  He grinned wider, then backed up several more steps, turned, and walked away.

  Luna watched until he disappeared into the stairwell.

  Then she forced herself to go inside her room and not run after him and beg for more of his wonderful kisses.

  Chapter 18

  Luna watched Grace carefully and tried to imitate her moves.

  The other demi in the room didn’t seem to be having any trouble following her instruction.

  Grace did a combination of punches, followed by a kick. Luna tried and almost fell on her ass. The other female had come to her room earlier and asked if she wanted to join them training. The idea of being able to defend herself sounded damn good. But so far, she absolutely sucked at it.

  Mia, who was closest to her, gave her a little nudge with her elbow. “You’re doing great, seriously. We all fell on our asses when we first started this class.”

  Luna wasn’t so sure about that. Mia was probably just trying to be kind. And as Grace ran through the next combination of moves, her anger and frustration grew.

  Her face heated when she stumbled again. What the hell was she doing here?

  You’re making sure you’ll never be controlled and used ever again.

  Yeah, well, it sounded good in theory. It was the in-practice part she was failing miserably at.

  She looked down in surprise when Mia curled her fingers around Luna’s and tugged her toward the back of the room. “I’ll show you.”

  Her humiliation heightened, but she followed. She wanted to do this, goddammit. She wanted to be able to fight, to defend herself.

  She’d seen Grace and her crew of demi fight many times while she’d hidden in the shadows, doing Azel's dirty work, and now she was envious of their skill. So instead of pulling away and fleeing, she nodded at the beautiful redhead. “Thanks.”

  “No problem.” Mia smiled back. “This stuff didn’t come naturally to me. Grace has that sleek, lean build, perfect for fighting. I, on the other hand, have curves, a lot of them. It took me a little longer to get used to moving my body in ways I never had before. Eve’s the same. We got booty and we like it.”

  Luna chuckled. “I most definitely have booty.”

  Mia grinned. “Us booty babes need to stick together. The more you do these moves, the stronger you’ll become, and the easier it’ll get. Believe me, I’m super uncoordinated, but Zenon worked with me as well, and now I can kick ass. So will you.”

  “You think so?” Luna hated the desperate note to her voice, but she wanted this. She hadn’t realized how much until she walked in and was confronted by a room full of determined demi capable of beating the shit out of a scum-sucking demon.

  “I know so.”

  “Do you go out with Grace and fight?”

  She shook her head, something moving through her eyes. “No…not yet. Zenon isn’t overly excited about the idea. Eve and Meredith want to as well, but our mates are…protective.”

  It must be nice to have someone care about them like that.

  Had her mother cared about her once?

  The strongest memory she had of her mother was the way she’d died. And Ronan, well, he’d been a child as well. She struggled to remember him sometimes too.

  “Maybe you could get Gunner to help with your training?” Mia said.

  At the mention of his name, she instantly remembered the way he’d kissed her, and her face heated again. “He’s already done so much, I wouldn’t like to ask.”

  “He wouldn’t mind,” Mia said, smiling warmly. “In fact, I think he’d love it.”

  “I don’t know, maybe I could ask.”

  Mia squeezed her hand. “I think you should, but until then, I’m happy to work with you, and I know Grace would be more than happy to as well. Eve, Meredith, James, and I have a class with Grace on our own a couple times a week. You’re more than welcome to join us. You can go at your own pace.”

  Warmth built behind Luna’s ribs, taking her by surprise. “Thank you.”

  “Hey, we’re sisters, remember? No need for thanks.”

  She didn’t understand why they were all so nice to her. Why they had singled her out, of all people?

  Mia gave her another little nudge. “Okay, let’s run through a few moves. We’ll go slow until you get the hang of it, then pick up the pace.”

  Luna nodded, determined to master this.

  Half an hour later, the room had cleared out, all except for Luna and Mia.

  Grace had come over and given Luna a few pointers before she left, and had shooed everyone else out, thankfully. Now both Mia and Luna were red-faced and sweaty. Mia hadn’t let her stop until she ran through without a mistake, and it boosted her confidence.

  Of course, that’s why Mia had been so persistent, and Luna was more grateful than she could say. She was getting it. She was actually getting it.

  The door opened as Luna was doing a step-forward-and-jab move, and she and Mia both glanced over. Gunner and Zenon walked in, pausing just inside the door.

  “What’s going on?” Zenon asked his mate, his yellow gaze moving over her.

  Mia walked to him immediately and wrapped her arms around his waist, looking up at him. “Luna and I were training.”

  Luna would have probably found the male’s yellow eyes unsettling if her own hadn’t been so unusual. She was used to the looks by humans when she’d occasionally let herself be seen, even a few demons had looked at her funny. So no, she wasn’t afraid of the way he looked, tattoos, scars, and all. Outward appearance didn’t bother her, not after living with demons most of her life.

  But the vibe he threw off, that was something else. She’d felt it the first time she’d seen him months ago. It screamed don’t come any closer, and Luna heeded it now, staying back when she felt that familiar pull toward Gunner.

  One of Zenon’s hands slid up Mia’s back and into her hair. “You’ve been training hard,” he said, still looking into his mate’s eyes.

  She reached up and cupped his face. “Stop worrying. I’m not going to run off and join Grace’s crew.”

  He made a rough growly sound.

  Mia shook her head and glanced back at Luna. “I’ll let you know when we have our next training session.”

  “I’d like that.” Luna tried not to react as Gunner moved closer to her, but it was impossible, especially after his kissing demonstrations last night.

  Mia took her mate’s hand. “Come on, I need to shower.”

  Zenon made a deep, throaty sound and lifted her off her feet and carried her out of the room. And suddenly Luna wasn’t sure what to do. Usually, she would have stepped closer for a hug, desperate to get near Gunner. But after their kiss, she felt…unsure.

  “No hug?” Gunner said as if he’d read her mind.

  She turned to him immediately, relief that he still wanted that from her, that she could touch him. Because she always wanted to touch him.

  He wrapped his arms around her. “That punch was perfect, by the way.”

  She pressed her face to his chest. “Mia’s a good teacher.” He rubbed her back, and she sighed. “I’m sorry I’m all sweaty.”

  “Doesn’t bother me.”

  “I probably stink.”

  “Nope, you smell delicious as always.”

  She tipped her head back. “Delicious?”

  His nostrils flared. “Oh yeah, I’m fighting not to sneak a little taste of you now.”

  The ache she’d been getting between her thighs sparked back to life. “If you want to taste me, I don’t mind.”

  Gunner groaned and chuckled
. “Female, you’re killing me.”

  She smiled. His chuckles were infectious. “How am I killing you?”

  He didn’t answer, just tucked her hair behind her ear, his gaze locked on hers.

  “Are you going to kiss me again?” she asked, because the more he looked at her that way, the more she wanted him to.

  “Do you want me to?”

  She licked her lips. “Yes…but do you want to?”

  “I haven’t been able to think about anything but the way your lips felt under mine last night.”

  Okay, she liked that. She liked that a hell of a lot. “Do it, then.”

  He chuckled again. “What if I start and I can’t stop?”

  “I’m okay with that.”

  His head tipped back and he laughed, a deep, throaty rumble. It was beautiful. Could a laugh be beautiful? Gunner’s was. She couldn’t look away as her hands slid up to his chest so she could feel it as well.

  When he looked back down at her, his eyes glittered with amusement. “Okay, love. But you need to tell me what kind of kiss you want.”

  “I think you know,” she said, suddenly finding it hard to look him in the eye.

  He cupped her jaw and tilted her head back. “Tell me.”

  She swallowed several times as she met his gaze again and forced herself to say it, to find the courage to ask for what she wanted. And like Mia with the training, perhaps that was the point. “I want a kiss where my body is pressed against yours, so it’s not just your lips on me, but all of you. The one where you opened your mouth and your tongue slid against mine…”

  The growl that came from him was unexpected, and before she could say any more, he tipped her head back and brought his mouth down on hers.

  A gentle brush of lips, once, twice, three times.

  More, she wanted more.

  Then he gave it to her. He pressed his thumb down on her chin, opening her mouth, and his tongue swept inside. Her arms slid around his neck, and he tugged her closer, his huge frame bending over her, arching her back as he kissed her more deeply.

  His mouth was a demand against hers, and she loved it. She’d never felt this good in her life. She copied his movements, moving her tongue against his until she no longer had to think about it. In the end, she didn’t have to think about any of it, she just felt, letting her mouth do what it wanted because it seemed to know what to do all on its own.