Unchained Memories

by Karen D. Badger

  Cat noticed Billie tense when she mentioned their bedroom. She let it pass without comment. No pressure, Cat. No pressure.

  “An open porch with a bench swing graces the front of the house, while the back has a closed-in porch. We’ve shared many wonderful evenings on the back porch watching violent thunder and lightning storms.”

  “We watch storms?”

  Cat wiggled her eyebrows. “Oh, yeah. An intense thunderstorm is quite stimulating, if you know what I mean.”

  Cat was making Billie uncomfortable with her remarks, so she changed the subject.

  “We have a fenced-in backyard, complete with a tree house. You put a lot of time and effort into fixing it up for the kids. You even installed a manual rope elevator for them.”

  “I did?”

  “Absolutely. Oh, before I forget, Jen and Fred are organizing a small cookout in the yard for when we get home tomorrow. Kind of a welcome-home party.”

  “Who’s Fred?” Billie asked.

  Cat was startled. “Oh my God, that’s right, we haven’t spoken to you about Fred, have we? Fred is Jen’s husband.”

  “Jen’s married to a man? When I asked if she had a partner, I assumed it was a woman.”

  “Yes. And as you already know, they have two children, Stevie, who’s Seth’s age, and Karissa, who’s a year younger than Tara.”

  “She’s not gay?” Billie asked, surprise evident on her face and in her voice. “But she’s so affectionate with you… and me. How can she not be gay?”

  The question startled Cat as she finally realized why Billie felt so threatened about her relationship with Jen.

  “No she isn’t. Not that you haven’t tried to convert her on several occasions.”

  Billie’s eyes flew open. “I have?”

  “Yes, you have. I’ve lost track of the number of times you tried to convince her she needs a woman.”

  “Why would I do that?”

  Cat took Billie’s hands in her own. “Sweetheart, you and I have a unique relationship with Jen. When we first moved into the neighborhood three years ago, we were pretty much shunned for our lifestyle, but one evening Jen’s house caught on fire and you risked your life to save Fred and the kids from certain death. You went into that burning house three times and pulled them out while Jen and I waited outside. They actually lived with us for a few weeks while repairs were done on their home. Jen proclaimed herself an honorary sister and has become a very important part of our lives. We’ve become the same to her and her family. Jen is the closest thing you’ll ever have to a real sister. She loves us and will do anything for us.”

  Billie fell silent.

  Cat rubbed her arm. “You’ve grown quiet all of a sudden. What are you thinking?”

  “I’m sorry. I’ve been a fool. I assumed some things that weren’t true. I was jealous. I know that’s not an excuse, but it is an explanation.”

  Cat knew what Billie was talking about. “I should have told you from the start Jen was married to a man. Come to think of it, that piece of information might have made a few things easier on both of us. It’s just that part of me still doesn’t get that you have no memory of our lives together. I’ve made some bad assumptions myself. I’m sorry. Forgive me?”

  Billie nodded. “Did I really save them from a fire?”

  “Yes. As catastrophic as it was to them, it was a godsend for us.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You were a real hero, Billie. After that, the entire neighborhood came around and Jen became an instant soul mate to both of us.”

  “That’s an amazing story.”

  “Every bit of it is true.”

  Billie yawned, interrupting their conversation.

  “Well, either I’m boring you to death, or you’re tuckered out from your PT today.”

  “I guess I’m more tired than I thought,” Billie said.

  Cat placed the paper and pencil on the nightstand and crawled back into bed beside her. “Come here.”

  Billie rolled over into Cat’s embrace, placed her head on her shoulder, and draped her arm over Cat’s abdomen. Cat placed a kiss on Billie’s forehead and said, “Pleasant dreams, my love. Sleep well.”

  Minutes later, both women drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter 37

  Cat was awakened the next morning by a rhythmic clicking sound. She opened her eyes and noticed Billie wasn’t in bed. Alarmed, she sat up and saw Billie pacing across her room, her crutches clicking with each step she took.

  She noted the distress on Billie’s face as she paced. “Billie, is something wrong?”

  “Did I wake you?” Billie said. “I’m sorry.”

  Cat climbed out of bed and walked over to her. She wrapped her arms around her and rested her head under Billie’s chin. Billie lowered her cheek to the top of Cat’s head.

  They were still standing in this embrace when Doc walked in several minutes later. “Good morning, daughters.”

  Cat stepped away and hugged her father. “’Morning, Daddy.”

  “Good morning, Doc,” Billie said.

  “Well, are we ready to go home?” he asked

  “You bet,” Cat said, a sentiment not echoed by Billie.

  “All right then. After breakfast, Billie, we’ll put you through one more series of tests to baseline your condition and draw up a training and therapy schedule you can do at home. We’ll also need to take a blood sample this morning to check the level of anticonvulsant to make sure it’s at the right therapeutic level to keep the epilepsy under control. If all goes well, you’ll be out of here by midafternoon.”

  “Great,” Cat said. “I better run home and pick up some clothes for you to wear. I’ll just jump in the shower and go while you have breakfast.”

  Billie nodded as Cat collected her shampoo, towel, and clean clothes and headed for the bathroom.

  “Doc,” Billie said, “this epilepsy thing, are there any restrictions that come with it? You know, like operating machinery or driving a car?”

  “Unfortunately, yes. All fifty states restrict driver’s licenses for persons with active seizures that aren’t controlled by medication. That can be waived if the person has been seizure-free for a specified period of time, usually three to six months. It also requires a statement issued by their physician confirming the individual’s seizures are controlled, and if the person is licensed to drive, he or she will not present an unreasonable risk to public safety.”

  “I was afraid of that. Getting to work once I’m back on my feet might be a problem.”

  Doc squeezed Billie’s shoulder. “Let’s not worry about that right now. Our first goal is to get you well. I’m confident we can control the seizures, and in no time, life will be back to normal with little to no restrictions.”

  “I’m not sure I know what normal is, Doc. I may never remember what I once knew. I’m afraid I may have to start over.”

  Doc shoved his hands into his pockets. “Billie, I know this must be terrifying for you. You’ll feel like a stranger in your own home. But know this. Cat and the children love you very much. The decision to stay or go is yours to make, but be sure you’ve given it a fair try before you do anything. All right?”

  “I will. I promise.”

  “I once told you I couldn’t replace your own father, but I’d be honored if you’d let me try. I still mean that, regardless of what happens here. I hope even if things don’t work out with Cat, you’ll still allow an old man to spend some time with his only grandson.”

  Billie could hear the emotional quiver in his voice. She lowered her eyes to the floor and nodded her head. “Of course.” Her voice broke as her shoulders shook.

  Doc wrapped his arms around her and comforted her.

  As planned, Cat ran home to pick up a change of clothes while Billie was having breakfast and her morning baseline session. While she was home, she planned to meet with Jen on the afternoon’s festivities. As she stepped into the kitchen, she heard the sound of power tools coming fr
om the living room.

  “There. That ought to do it,” she heard a man’s voice say.

  Cat walked through the kitchen into the living room and gasped in surprise when she saw Jen and Fred putting the finishing touches on a new set of handrails going up both sides of the stairs to the second story. “What would I ever do without you two?” she said as she ran into Jen’s arms and kissed her before moving on to repeat the process with Fred.

  “I reinforced the basement stairs too,” Fred said. He puckered up to get another kiss.

  Jen punched him in the arm. “You’re such a pervert.”

  Before long, Cat was on her way back to the hospital while Jen hurried home to make salads.

  Joseph and Laura had Billie about halfway through her baseline testing when Cat arrived. An hour later, they finished the tests and were formulating a therapy plan that they reviewed in detail with Billie and Cat. The exercises were simple and repetitious, to be done twice a day, followed by stretching and a massage at the end of the day. In between, Billie was encouraged to walk as much as possible with the crutches and to practice without them as long as she had handholds close by to grab for balance. Laura gave Billie’s belt to Cat to take home, instructing her on how to use it to help Billie with walking.

  Another hour later, the blood tests came back with Billie’s anticonvulsant blood levels. They were at the low end of the therapeutic range, so instructions were given to increase the dose and to repeat blood work in a week.

  Soon it was time to leave. Saying goodbye to Laura was difficult for Billie. She had grown very close to her over the past two weeks and considered her to be a friend and ally.

  Billie hugged her. Emotion made her voice quiver. “I’m going to miss you.”

  “Ditto on this end,” Laura said. She handed Billie a piece of paper. “Here’s my number at the hospital. Call me anytime. And keep me posted on your progress. Promise me you’ll give it your best shot with Cat. Give it some time. I know it’ll get better.”

  Billie hugged her again. “I will. I promise.”

  She turned to Joseph, who stood there as arrogant as ever, arms crossed in front of his chest. Billie smiled. “Well, Ivan the not-so-terrible, you’re a real pussycat under all that toughness, you know.”

  “Don’t let that get out, Charland. You’ll ruin my reputation. By the way, I still don’t get what you see in her,” he said, motioning with his head toward Cat.

  She winked at him and turned to Cat. “Ready to go home?”

  “I’m more than ready.”

  Billie refused the wheelchair and insisted on using her crutches to leave the hospital. “I’ve seen enough of that chair to last me a lifetime. I’ll walk, thank you very much.”

  * * *

  On the drive home, Cat prepared Billie for the cookout that awaited them. “Jen will be there, along with Fred and the kids,” Cat said.

  “What are the kids’ names again?”

  “The boy’s name is Stevie, the girl is Karissa. They’re best friends with Seth and Tara.”

  Billie looked around at her home with nervous anticipation as Cat pulled into the driveway. Cat got out of the car, walked around to Billie’s side, and opened the door for her. Billie scowled. “I can do this myself, Cat.”

  Cat backed up two steps and crossed her arms. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” She waited while Billie struggled out of the car and set herself up on her crutches. When Billie cleared the door, Cat pushed it closed and earned herself another scowl.

  “What?”

  “I’m not an invalid.”

  “Fine!” Cat stomped into the backyard and left Billie to struggle across the uneven grass on her own.

  The kids spotted them the moment they rounded the corner of the garage. Tara was the first one to reach Cat as she jumped into her arms and nearly knocked her over. Seth ran to Billie and hugged her around the middle. Skylar attached herself to one of Billie’s long legs while Tara scrambled out of Cat’s arms and joined her brother and sister in welcoming Billie home.

  Billie’s whole demeanor changed when she was around the children. “Whoa, there, hold on a minute. Let me sit down at the picnic table so I can greet you without falling down, okay?” She hobbled over to the table and lowered herself into a seated position then opened her arms to the three squirming bodies, showering them with hugs and kisses. “I’ve missed you guys so much.”

  As expected, Skylar climbed into Billie’s lap, curled herself into a ball, and tucked her head into Billie neck. She stayed there as the other two became bored and ran off to play with their friends. Billie kissed Skylar on the head.

  Skylar sat up. “Mommy, are you going away again?”

  Cat held her breath as she waited for Billie’s answer.

  “Sky, sweetie, why would you ask a question like that?”

  “I don’t want you to go again, Mommy. I missed you,” she said and buried her head in Billie’s neck once more.

  Billie rocked her back and forth. “I don’t want to go again either, lovebug.”

  If Cat expected a commitment from Billie, she was mistaken. Billie had avoided Skylar’s question, leaving it hanging unanswered in the air around them.

  Jen walked up behind Cat and wrapped an arm around her waist. Cat recognized the comforting embrace and leaned her head into Jen’s shoulder.

  “How is she?” Jen asked.

  “Nervous, edgy, scared. She’s already snapped at me twice since we got here.”

  Jen kissed her on the side of the head. “This is going to take time and patience. There’s bound to be good days and bad. We’ll just need to ride it out and hope we all come to a safe stop at the end.”

  Cat patted the hand Jen had wrapped around her waist. “You’re a good friend. I’m so glad you’re here.”

  Jen came around to face Cat. “I’ll do anything to help—anytime, day or night. Promise me you’ll call when you need me, even if all you need is a shoulder to cry on.”

  “Don’t I do that already?” Cat hugged Jen before releasing her. “I love you, Jen. You’re the best friend anyone could ask for.”

  The cookout was a marginal success. Billie spent a great deal of time laughing and playing games with the children. She was introduced to Fred, whom she seemed to like instantly, and she even helped cook the burgers and hot dogs on the grill. To an outsider, all was well, but it became obvious to Cat that Billie was avoiding her.

  Partway through the cookout, Art and Marge showed up. Cat was in the house mixing a new batch of fruit punch for the children when they arrived. She watched the reunion from the kitchen window. Billie recognized Art immediately and rose to her feet. She struggled across the yard with her crutches to meet him halfway. He opened his arms and Billie went into them.

  Art was a big man and absorbed Billie into the circle of his embrace, while Marge stood off to the side, waiting. She slapped Art on the shoulder with the back of her hand. “Hey, I want some of that too,” she said, taking Billie into her own arms.

  It was early evening before everyone left. Jen offered to take the kids for the night, but Cat insisted Billie would feel more comfortable with them home on her first night.

  The kids led Billie on a tour of the first floor while Cat put away leftover food, straightened the kitchen, and did anything else she could think of to avoid dealing with Billie. When her excuses ran out, she joined them in the living room, where the four of them were cuddled on the couch, watching a movie on TV.

  Cat curled up in a chair off to the side and watched her family enjoy the show. Every once in a while, she would catch Billie’s eyes and smile. Each time, Billie looked away. After a few minutes, Cat asked, “Who wants popcorn?” Four pairs of eyes lit up at the suggestion, including Billie’s. Popcorn was one of her weaknesses.

  Cat went into the kitchen. A short time later, she heard the clicking of Billie’s crutches as she approached. Cat held her ground at the stove and kept her back to Billie.

  Billie moved closer and soon stood
behind Cat. “Cat, I’m sorry for the way I’ve been treating you since we got home.”

  Cat remained with her back to Billie, trying hard to fight the emotions threatening to run away with her. “It’s all right. It’s been a hectic day. I understand.”

  Billie leaned in and placed her chin on Cat’s right shoulder. “No it isn’t all right. I’ve hurt you and I’m sorry. Forgive me?”

  Cat faced her as Billie righted herself to her full height. She saw such utter sorrow and despair in Billie’s eyes, her heart melted. This time, there was no holding the emotions in check. A tear escaped her eye as she touched the side of Billie face. “Of course, I forgive you.”

  Billie lowered her head and kissed Cat on the mouth. A beep drew their attention to the microwave oven.

  “Popcorn’s ready,” Billie said.

  Cat followed Billie back into the living room with the large bowl of popcorn and waited until Billie settled herself on the couch before placing the bowl in her lap. Cat started toward her chair when Billie interrupted her.

  “Cat. Right here.” Billie patted the couch beside her.

  Cat climbed into the jumble of bodies that were snuggling up close to Billie. The children flowed in to fill any gaps between themselves and their mothers, all managing to get closer to the bowl of popcorn.

  “This is good,” Billie said.

  “Thanks. You never could resist a good bowl of popcorn, could you?”

  Billie shook her head. She shoved another handful of fluffy kernels into her mouth as she became absorbed once more in the movie.

  When the movie ended, Cat and Billie were surrounded by sleeping children. Seth lay on Cat’s right, his head in her lap. Skylar leaned against Cat with her legs spread out across Billie’s lap, and Tara was curled up in Billie’s left arm.

  Cat and Billie exchanged an amused look as they nudged each child awake. “Come on, lovebugs. Off to bed with you.”