Unchained Memories

by Karen D. Badger

  Suddenly, Jen barged into the living room. “Hi there, ladies,” she said, scaring both of them out of their skins and distracting them to the point Cat stepped over her own feet and fell on her butt. Billie landed right on top of her and pinned her to the floor.

  Billie was worried she’d hurt Cat. Coming awkwardly to her knees, she reached out to Cat who was holding her stomach. “Are you all right?”

  Cat held her hand up to Billie and gasped a couple of times. “I’m okay. I got the wind knocked out of me, that’s all. Are you okay?”

  ”I’m fine.”

  Cat and Billie glared at Jen, who was trying hard to control her laughter.

  Billie grew indignant and sat back on her heels. She crossed her arms and scowled. “Okay, Miss Neighbor Extraordinaire, you think this is so funny, get your ass over here and help us up.” Her anger abated under Jen’s constant chuckling.

  Jen approached them and offered her hand. Billie glanced at Cat, grabbed Jen’s hands, and yanked her down into a pile with them on the floor.

  “Whoa!” Jen said.

  “Hold her down, Cat. She needs to pay for her insolence.”

  Cat held her down while Billie administered the claw to her midsection.

  “No! Stop. I’m sorry,” Jen said between bouts of laughter. “I promise. I’ll knock next time.”

  Billie and Cat ceased torturing Jen and let her sit up. All three women sat there, leaning on each other, their sides aching from the laughter, before they regained enough composure to climb to their feet.

  Cat and Jen prepared lunch, while Fred took all five children to McDonald’s and then to a minor league baseball game. It would be late in the day before they would return.

  After lunch, Billie took a nap while Cat and Jen dragged the stationary bike and free weights up from the makeshift gym in a corner of the family room downstairs. They placed the bike in a strategic corner of the living room where it could be ridden while watching TV. It would become an important part of Billie’s afternoon workout routine. That accomplished, Cat made a pot of coffee and sat down to tell Jen about the flashbacks Billie had that morning during breakfast.

  “It sounds like she’s starting to remember,” Jen said, “and man, she sure picked some tough memories to start with. Maybe being home has something to do with it.”

  “Maybe. Daddy said being in familiar surroundings sometimes has a dramatic effect on memory recall. He also said once the memories start to surface, it wouldn’t be uncommon for them to come back rapidly. We’ve only been home for a day, but already, I’ve seen her fall into familiar habits. She made us tea last night and knew where everything was and how I drank mine. We got into a tickle war this morning with the kids, and she was so like the old Billie, it was as if this entire nightmare never happened—and now the flashbacks. I just wish the memories that are returning were the good ones.”

  “Well, like it or not, she won’t be truly whole until all her memories are back, including the bad ones.”

  “I know you’re right, but it’s painful to watch her recall something unpleasant.”

  “It’s only been a day, Cat. Give it time.”

  “I hope you’re right, Jen. I really hope you’re right.”

  The afternoon therapy session was very tiring for Billie. After several passes of walking across the living room, with Jen standing close by for balance and Cat holding onto the belt around Billie’s waist, she moved to the exercise bike and then to the free weights. By the time her workout was over, her clothing was damp and her muscles quivered with exhaustion.

  She sat at the kitchen table and enjoyed a tall glass of iced tea while Cat filled the Jacuzzi with hot water. Jen came up behind her and wrapped her arms around Billie’s neck and shoulders. She pressed her cheek against the side of Billie’s head.

  “I’m afraid I don’t smell very good right now,” Billie said. “You’re going to need a bath yourself if you keep doing that.”

  “What’s a little sweat between friends, huh? Someone’s got to hold you up in the shower. I thought I’d volunteer for the job.”

  “I don’t think Cat will appreciate that.”

  “Cat won’t appreciate what?” Cat said from the doorway.

  “Busted,” Jen said.

  “Cat won’t appreciate what?” Cat asked again, hands on her hips.

  Billie smirked at Jen. “You’re in trouble now, girlfriend. Let’s see you worm your way out of this one.”

  “Um, um, Cat wouldn’t appreciate… Is that Fred I hear calling? Got to go. See you later.” Jen escaped out the kitchen door.

  “Coward,” Billie said as she watched her flee.

  A few moments later, Billie reclined in a tub of hot swirling water, a rolled up towel behind her neck and candles providing muted lighting. Classical music played from the cassette player on the vanity. Billie soon fell asleep.

  Billie stood to her full height and scooped Cat into her arms then slowly lowered her into the warm water before settling in behind her. She poured two glasses of wine and handed one to Cat.

  Cat’s head rested against Billie’s shoulder as Billie’s fingertips drew lazy circles around her left nipple.

  “Hmm, that feels good. Damned appendix. I finally get you alone and naked, and I can’t do anything about it.”

  Billie kissed the side of Cat’s head. “I know. I’ve been waiting for this moment almost since I laid eyes on you. You’re so beautiful. You’ve no idea what you’re doing to me right now.”

  “Sorry.”

  “How long did your doctor say you had to wait?”

  “Four to six weeks before engaging in strenuous activity.”

  “Four to six weeks? You’re killing me here.”

  Cat chuckled. “You’re not the only one dying.”

  “You’re right, of course. As hard as it’ll be to wait, I want our first time to be without restriction. We’ll just have to wait until you’re fully recovered to make our dream come true.”

  “Thank you for being so understanding, Billie. You were willing to risk your heart, and despite everything you had going on in your life, you made time for me and Tara.”

  “You’re worth any risk I may have to take. I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  Cat settled in once more with her back to Billie and her head resting on Billie’s shoulder. For several moments, neither of them said a word.

  “Billie, I never thanked you for watching Tara when I was sick. Hell, I never even asked you to stay with her, but I’m so glad you did. She’s rather taken with you.”

  “It’s funny how she wriggled her way into my heart.” Billie chuckled. “I have to admit I was shocked when Gail opened your door that day. When I knocked on your door, the last thing I expected was a strange woman in a negligee.”

  “Gail. Ugh. That’s a mistake I’ll never make again.”

  “Tara said you had a fight with her, over me no less, and you asked her to leave.”

  “That daughter of mine sure has a big mouth. I’ll have to talk to her about that.” Cat paused. “Yes, we did have a fight, and yes, it was about you. She threatened to leave me in the lurch without day care if I continued to see you. You can imagine how that pissed me off. No one tells me how to live my life. Not even my parents. She was stupid enough to pull this on me after I’d spent a day and a half throwing up and doubled over in pain with appendicitis. It didn’t take me long to tell her to pack her bags and get the hell out.”

  Billie laughed. “Speaking of your parents, I can’t believe how incredibly accepting they’ve been of Seth and me. They don’t even know us, yet they’re treating us like family.”

  “They know you better than you think. Heaven knows they’ve heard enough about you over the last few months. While they were in Florida, I talked to them two or three times a week. Hell, they knew I loved you before you did.”

  “It’s obvious they don’t have a problem with our relationship. Your dad was pretty blunt about it.”

/>   “Billie, my dad means well, but don’t let him push you into something you’re not ready for. I heard his comment about the marriage thing and—”

  “I didn’t say his talk of marriage bothered me.”

  “Billie Charland, are you proposing to little ole me?” Cat asked in a fake Southern accent.

  Billie stiffened, worried that Cat’s flippant attitude meant rejection.

  “I love you with all my heart, Billie. Nothing would make me happier than to be your wife.”

  “I think we’d better wait to see what happens with Seth before you commit yourself. I know you said you wanted us to be a family, but if your father can’t help him, the future may not be so rosy.”

  Cat swiveled around. Her sudden movement splashed water out of the tub and onto the floor and spilled her wine into the tub. “What did you say?”

  “I said that you need to go into this with your eyes open.”

  Cat pinned Billie to the back of the tub by her arms. Their faces were a mere breath’s width apart. “Is that what you really think of me? Do you think I’d turn tail and run as soon as things got rough? Damn you.”

  Billie suddenly awoke. She sat up, momentarily confused. Once she realized where she was, she relaxed and reclined against the back of the tub. She stared at the ceiling and thought about the dream. “You’re worth any risk I may have to take. I love you,” she said under her breath.

  After the kids were bathed and tucked into bed that evening, Cat asked Billie to sit on the couch while she went to the bookcase in the family room and found the video of Skylar’s first birthday party. Cat slipped the disk into the DVD player and sat next to Billie. She reached for Billie’s hand and held it in her lap while the video began.

  Billie’s gaze never left the TV screen as the home movie played. She squeezed Cat’s hand several times, especially when the children were on screen.

  “There’s Seth,” Billie said. “That’s how I remembered him in the hospital. He must have been what, seven in this video?”

  “He was actually eight. He was seven when Sky was born, and this was her first birthday party.”

  “So Tara was about five then?”

  “Yes, that’s right.”

  “I see Doc and Ida. Oh, there’s Jen and Fred. I see everyone but myself. Was I the photographer?”

  “Right again, but there’s a scene coming up soon with you in it.”

  Billie watched intently as everyone sang Happy Birthday to Skylar and a small chocolate cake was put in front of her. When the camera zoomed in on a chocolate-faced Skylar diving into her birthday cake, Cat could have sworn she heard Billie say under her breath, “Smile for Mommy, baby.”

  “Here comes the scene with you in it.” The picture on the screen showed Jen approaching the photographer and taking control of the camera. Billie was seen joining her family at the table.

  She frowned when she saw the bandage on her head. “Why was my head bandaged?”

  “You rescued the kids and me from Brian. He was holding us hostage, right here in the house, demanding custody of Seth and Sky. You broke into the house and ambushed him, but not before he managed to shoot you. We almost lost you on the way to the hospital. It was only by the grace of God you survived. It’s because of that gunshot to the head that scar tissue formed and we’re here today trying to recover your memories.”

  When the video finished, Cat squeezed Billie’s hand. “Did anything look or feel familiar?”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t remember. I’m so sorry.”

  Cat rubbed her temples. “I don’t understand. You’ve recalled memories that include me, the rape, the photographs. How can you recall me, yet still not know me?”

  “I don’t know how to explain it. I know through the recalls that you were a part of my life, but I don’t have memories of loving you. That feeling of knowing your heart and your soul isn’t there. I’m so sorry.”

  Cat struggled to force a smile onto her face.

  “That’s okay. It will come back. I know it will,” she said.

  Billie yawned loudly. “God, I’m tired.”

  Cat shut off the TV, helped Billie up, and walked arm in arm with her to the guest room.

  “Let me rub you down. You’ll sleep better.” Cat removed Billie’s clothing without waiting for a reply. Soon, Billie was naked, except for her panties, and lying facedown on the bed, her hands crossed under her chin. Cat began a deep massage and worked the stiffness out of Billie’s tired muscles. She started at Billie’s neck and massaged her entire body, down to her feet. Then, rolling her over, she repeated the process on Billie’s front side, avoiding her breasts.

  Cat forced herself to stay focused throughout the massage. Remember what Laura said—your job is to massage, not stimulate. Keep it under control, Cat. You can do it.

  When the massage was over, Cat studied Billie’s face and thought she saw desire burning in her eyes. Don’t go there, Cat. She pulled a T-shirt over Billie’s head, tucked her under the covers, and kissed her. “I love you. Pleasant dreams.”

  Billie grabbed her hand before she could walk away. “Thank you, for everything. And I love you too.”

  Cat kissed her once more, said good night, and retreated to the couch, where she knew sleep would be a long time coming. God, Billie, I’m on fire from touching you. So much for sleeping.

  Billie stared at the ceiling. God, Cat. Do you know what your touch does to me? So much for sleeping.

  Chapter 39

  The next morning, Billie was up bright and early before the rest of the household. She made her way to the kitchen, set up the coffeepot, and returned to her room to throw on a pair of shorts. Using her crutches to maintain her balance, she slipped her feet into her tennis shoes and made her way down the porch steps. She hobbled over to the mailbox to collect the morning paper.

  An hour later when Cat woke, Billie was on the exercise bike, reading the paper as she pedaled. Cat sat up on the couch. “Good morning,” she said. “Getting a head start?”

  Billie lowered the paper. “Good morning. Sleep well?”

  “Yeah, okay I guess.”

  “Good. Coffee’s made.”

  “You’re a lifesaver.” Cat climbed off the couch and headed to the kitchen.

  Billie watched her go, all disheveled, hair a mess. God, Cat, you are so sexy all mussed up like that.

  Cat came back into the living room carrying a full cup of coffee. She stopped next to Billie. “Did you go out to the mailbox for that paper?”

  Billie grinned. “Yep.”

  “Cool.” Cat sipped her coffee. “Oh, this is so good.”

  “Thanks. I want to thank you for the massage last night. It was wonderful.”

  “You’re welcome. We need to do that every day to keep your muscles from becoming too sore after therapy. Feel up to walking outdoors today?”

  “How far?”

  “Just to Jen’s house and back. She lives two doors down the street. She’s invited us all to lunch today, and I thought the walk could replace part of your therapy session. What do you think?”

  “All right. I also want to practice stair climbing today, okay?”

  “Sure. Why don’t you finish up on the bike, and I’ll fix us a quick breakfast? The kids should be up soon, and we’ll get started.”

  “Great.”

  As Cat predicted, over the next several minutes, the kids started making their appearances. Each one stopped to kiss and hug Billie before going into the kitchen for something to eat.

  Seth was the last one up. As he approached Billie, she stopped.

  “Good morning, scout.”

  “’Morning, Mom.”

  “Do you know where I can find a handsome young man to escort me to the kitchen?”

  In a very grown-up fashion, Seth offered her his arm and they made their way to the kitchen table. He pulled out her chair and held it for her as she lowered herself into it.

  “Oh, no you don’t.” Billie caught his arm. “You’re not ge
tting away without a hug and a kiss.” Billie held him close. “Thank you, sweet love.”

  “You’re welcome, Mom.”

  When breakfast was over, the kids ran off to get dressed.

  Cat collected the breakfast dishes and rinsed them all in the sink.

  “Let me help you with that.” Billie started to get up.

  “No worry. I’ve got it covered. You just sit there and rest. You’ve got a busy morning ahead of you.”

  Billie sat back down and watched Cat load the dishwasher. Each time Cat bent over to put a dish on the bottom rack she presented Billie with a fine shot of her backside. Billie found herself wishing they had dirtied more dishes, as the show was over way too soon.

  Cat started the dishwasher and turned around. The expression on Billie’s face was that of a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

  “Ready to go to work?”

  “Yep.” Billie got to her feet and, with her hand on Cat’s shoulder, walked through the living room toward the stairs that led to the second story. Cat carried her crutches for her to use at the top of the stairs.

  The kids suddenly came charging down the stairs, nearly running into them. Cat grasped Billie’s waist to prevent her from falling.

  “Whoa, slow down there. You almost knocked Mom over,” Cat said. “How many times have I told you not to run in the house?”

  All three children stood there with guilty expressions. Billie nudged Cat to get her attention. When Cat looked at her, she saw the most pitiful pair of puppy dog eyes she had ever seen.

  Cat shook her head. “What am I going to do with the four of you?”

  “We’re sorry, Mama,” each child chimed in.

  Cat looked at Billie and saw a pout on her face. “All right. Just slow down, okay? Someone will get hurt one of these days.”

  “Ma, can we go over to Stevie and Karissa’s this morning?” Seth asked. “Stevie has this new Nintendo game that I want to play.”