Diary of a Wimpy Czarovitch
Page 11
dynasty. Am I the only one who can see the damage?"
Loyal Tatiana muttered that perhaps there’s something wrong with Edward or David which is what his family calls him. Who wouldn't want to marry intelligent Olga? Mama says that she’d heard rumors that her daughters were too backwards for his tastes. Papa said that Edward is too fast for his tastes and that King George has no confidence in his son’s ability to rule. Mama says that he’s another Prince Eddy all over again. Mama should know since she was almost betrothed to Prince Eddy, He’s too fond of golf, carousing, fine clothing, and dancing. God wished otherwise or my Mama would now be the Queen of England rather than Czarina Alexandra of all the Russias.
There’s even a record about the Prince of Wales in America with words which say: "I danced with a girl who danced with a girl who danced with the Prince of Wales.” Of course Anastasia was able to procure the record from a married officer aboard Grandmama's yaught who had the record in his possession and we all laughed as she danced around the deck with her broomstick, the Prince of Wales. I’m pleased that Olga won’t be leaving us yet, even though she's always watching me to be sure that I do things correctly: like eating with the correct spoon and not talking with my mouth full , and not chewing with my mouth open; I would miss her if she were gone despite her overbearing ways.
18 April 1914, 6 May 1914 – The Emir of Bokhara came to pay respects to papa. He was wearing a large white turban with jewels and he reminded me of our white turbaned sentries at home. I wonder what Jim will bring me when he returns from America? The Emir has a bushy beard, but speaks and bows with reverence to Papa and he’s brought presents for all of us. I can hardly wait to open mine. I would not want to wear his heavy black robe in this heat. He smells like a flower garden and his beard reminds me of Rasputin’s. They are both natural and wild looking.
We went swimming in the afternoon and either I am getting used to the water, or I am becoming stronger. In the water, I swim like a fish and am not handicapped which is a great relief to me. I hold my breath and swim beneath the waves.
28 April 1914, 11 May 1914 – Papa’s birthday is next week and I am trying to make a surprise for him, my twenty ruble allowance has been increased with the ransom that I received when I traded a photograph of fat little Anastasia sticking out her tongue during a piano recital. She knew that she didn’t want one of her beaus to see this when she was older. She paid me what I asked for it and then promptly destroyed the picture. Luckily, I kept the negatives.
Anastasia said that she would help me design a birthday card for Papa and I have bought him a bubble gum cigar as a hint to help him curb his smoking since he smokes like a chimney. I went to the village store with my tutors and I have made him a miniature kite which really flies from a silk handkerchief of Mama’s and we shall fly it from the balustrade on a windy day. A tiny spool of thread is the kite string and I’ve made a long tail for it. I think Papa will love it. It is designed like a ruby throated hummingbird and I painted it myself with my water colors.
29 April 1914, 12 May 1914 – Anastasia helped me with a limerick; it went like this: There was once a Papa Czar, who had yaughts, ships, and a fancy car. Nevertheless the thing that he loved most, was creamed tuna on toast. Happy Birthday Papa! She signed it “Baby” I cut that part out with my scissors. I am not the baby of the family any longer since I'm almost a teenager, but Anastasia says that even when I’m fifty years old, I’ll still be the baby of the family. I was not amused. She won't be able to tease me when I'm the czar.
6 May 1914, 14 May 1914 – It’s Papa’s birthday. Mama gave him a shirt that she’d embroidered for him. He’s said that he was jealous of the ones that she’d made for Father Grigory, and so she made an extra special one for him with flower embroidered buttons and motifs in red which looks like spiders along the hem of the shirt which is a favorite symbol of hers and is a good luck symbol. Papa was delighted with the hand made gift sewn with love.
Papa was glad to be able to celebrate the occasion with close family rather than making it a state occasion. Mama had a cake filled with pineapple curd and whipped cream and birthday candles for him. Papa made a wish and blew out all of the candles. I wonder what he wished for? Knowing my Papa, he probably wished for, peace on earth since he hates war and killing. The rich cake made his teeth hurt, but he had two helpings nevertheless.
Tatiana gave him an embroidered bookmark and Olga gave him a book and a bottle of garlic flavored green olives which he enjoyed. I hope Papa has time to read the book since he is always doing his papers. He never thinks he can delegate anything.
Marie gave him a penknife with an angel on the top and signed it: from your angel. Papa really thinks that she’s angelic. She never gets angry like the rest of us do. Anastasia made Papa a self portrait of herself with a red pencil that had turned out quite nicely. I was surprised. She signed it from the imp. It looks just like her and Papa was pleased. We sang happy birthday to Papa and I played a song for him that I’d composed on the balalaika in honor of his birthday and the girls performed for him with duets on the piano, the older pair and the younger pair. Mama was thrilled at their prowess on the instrument. Too bad that Grandmama dear wasn’t invited. I shall have to play my song for her again at her palace no doubt in front of her court.
My sketches are rather rough and my portraits look more like monsters than people, but mama tells me to keep practicing. Her grandmother, Queen Victoria was quite an artist so it’s in the blood.
I’ve brought my small chess set and Derevenko is setting it up for us to play. It is made with small chess pieces with holes in them that stick into the chess board so that they will not tip off. I’m planning some new strategy that I read in a book which Mama ordered for me. I should be able to outwit Derevenko stanko in less than ten moves. We’ll see.
7 May 1914, 14 May 1914 - I wonder if Mama and Papa will have a grand ball for Tatiana now that she's turned seventeen. Olga had one and wore a beautiful pink gown. Tatiana is looking at magazines from Grandmama's Paris couturiers and drooling over ball dresses. I know that Grandmama will expect Papa and Mama to present her at court so that suitors will fall at her feet and she longs to dance at her own ball. Grandmama dear loves to dance publicly, but Mama prefers the solitude of her family.
When Mama's out of sight and ear shot, Tatiana unbuttons her white shirtwaists and bares her shoulders saying boldly: "I shall wear my gown the Russian way." This never ceases to make her sisters laugh. This hilarious bravura dates back from an old story about when Mama first arrived in Russia and told a brazen Russian female countess that her gown was too immodest and that in England a "lady" didn't dress that way. The haughty woman replied disrespectfully to her new czarina: "Here in Russia, we do wear our gowns this way." Tatiana danced around the room while Anastasia plays gypsy music on the piano making her siblings laugh out loud. I will be sad when Tatiana is betrothed and leaves us, despite her bossy ways, but I hope for her sake, that Papa and Mama let her have a ball so that her charms may be advertised near and abroad since she longs to be properly married. I feel guilty about my "problem: and hope that she won't be denied a ball on account of my poor health. I certainly don't want her to resent me.
13 May 1914, 26 May 1914 - Papa's and Mama's professional portraits of Olga paid off. Crown Prince Carol of Romania wants to meet her and is determined to marry her. He's only a minor prince and Olga is a Grand Duchess of Russia. Is he ambitious? Nevertheless Olga is all a twitter about the proposal. However, she's adamant about not leaving Russia. Will Papa and Mama make her? Carol is a double cousin and my parents are certain that the pair of them will fall madly in love with each other. Prince Carol's half in love with her anyway because of her stunning photograph.. The Standart is coming to take us all to Romania. Olga is mortified and very, very nervous. I see and hear her practicing the grand piano and hear her pounding furiously on the piano keys trying to relieve her angst as well as her anguish. Having met Carol before at a
family gathering, she didn't cotton to him and doubts she'll like him any better now that they are older. What is she afraid of?
14 May 1914, 27 May 1914 - Papa has given Olga some of the crown jewels to impress the prince with and Mama has given Olga lots of advice about how to capture the prince's heart by playing hard to get. Olga pouts in her room and looks as if a black cloud is hanging over her head. Mama says: "Olga, we must all grow up some day, you must leave the nest first so that your sisters may fly also. It's only proper that you marry first." Olga is biting her long fingernails and is choosing her plainest frocks to bring with her in hopes of dampening Carol's ardor. Mama and she are having a power struggle. Who will win?
15 May 1914, 28 May 1914 - Our beautiful yaught, which is the envy of royals the world over, has arrived and our trunks have been packed so that they can be delivered below deck. The sailors and officers have welcomed us all aboard. Anastasia is polishing up her dances so that she can show off her fancy footwork. I wish that I could dance gracefully instead of hobble around jumping on my good leg.
Mama is ignoring Olga completely while