Emerge into Forever

by Andrea Michelle

She’s looking so cutely confused as she points to herself. “I did.”

  He nods.

  “Oh, well…yeah, I think am.”

  “Awww….” I say not being able to hold it in any longer. I realize I’m scooting closer to Josh, wishing to reunite with him, too.

  Collin touches his index finger under her chin. “That’s good. No, I haven’t had sex in weeks. Because I realized that I kind of am in love with you, too.”

  Collin smiles so wide. I look to Josh feeling all woozy and warm and gooey inside. Just when I think they are about to kiss in front of us, Emily throws her hand over her mouth and turns to open the door where she empties the crazy cocktail we drank on practically empty stomachs.

  Cars are honking behind us and going around us when the light turns green. That sucks for her. She shuts the door and climbs inside. She groans, “Well, that is not sexy at all.” She rests her head on the console and Collin rubs her hair gently.

  He looks over his shoulder, “Rain check on pancakes?” he asks.

  “Definitely,” I say, snuggling into Josh’s side.

  Collin turns the radio up and the rest of the drive is not as entertaining. I’m resting into Josh’s side trying to keep my eyes open, but they are too heavy and keep shutting on their own accord. He’s gently running his fingers up and down my arm and rubbing small circles on my hand with his other. It’s quite blissful. I look up at him with glazed over eyes.

  “I’m sorry for tonight,” I say in a small voice.

  He kisses my nose. “I’m sorry about this morning.”

  I kiss his jaw. “You and me are magnets to these crazy people. Ya know?”

  He kisses my cheek. “No, you and me are crazy because we let these people come between us by our assumptions.”

  I kiss his neck. “Can we stop being crazy apart and just be crazy together?”

  He kisses the spot by my ear that makes me want him. “Music to my ears,” he whispers into mine.

  I realize that I’m scooting closer and still it’s not close enough. I want to climb on him, or him on me. I just want him. I have one hand grazing his skin underneath his shirt and the other rubbing his jaw line. I want to kiss him, to devour him, right here and now.

  “You two better not fuck in my back seat with me sitting right here while my drunk girl is passed out. That’s not fair,” Collin says, obviously overhearing our pecks and increased breaths.

  We untangle and scoot apart. “Yes, sir,” I reply with a giggle.

  CHAPTER 20

  It’s like I’ve been denied water and food for months and I’m starving, and she’s finally giving me my nourishment. I want to dive in and eat and drink from her until I can’t go any longer.

  We get to the hotel and Riley has fallen asleep across from me. I nudge her to wake her up and she mumbles, “You promised to bring me home. You lied.” My insides flip flop and not in a good way. She’s dreaming of him still, of that night. I glance to Collin, who is waking up Emily. He’s frowning.

  I shake her a little harder. “Riley, it’s Josh. We’re at the hotel. We’re here. You need to wake up.”

  Her eyes flutter open and she looks around the vehicle, nodding.

  Collin and I get our tipsy girls out of the car. Riley stands up and immediately wobbles. “Whoa… How is it that I’m drunker now than I was before I got in the car?” she asks as I stable her onto my side.

  “That’s the magic of liquor, baby.”

  I inwardly cringe at how this looks, us escorting two very drunk gorgeous girls into the hotel. I won’t be surprised if we get stopped and questioned. “You taking her to our room?” I ask Collin.

  “Yeah, you mind? I’m sure you’d like to be alone with her, right?” he wiggles his brows.

  I laugh but know better. She’s going to be too out of it for all of that tonight. “Where’s your key, pretty girl?” She reaches into her back pocket and hands it to me.

  Thankfully, no one is at the front desk when we walk in and we can hop on the elevator without looking like two pervs about to take advantage of two wasted chicks. Collin assists Em off the elevator on the third floor. Riley’s room is on the fifth, so up we go. As soon as the door shuts, she looks up at me. “Is it me or is this box spinning?” she asks, looking up and then down, looking groggy.

  “Don’t do that,” I tell her. “It’s just you, pretty girl.”

  The spinning box pings and the doors slide open. I pick her up and carry her down the hall. She cuddles into my neck and I try not to let her warm breath taunt me. Try really hard. I find her door easily because earlier today I stood in front of it contemplating knocking and making her hear me out. She doesn’t know that, though. I slide the key into the door and push it open with my foot. I carry her straight into the bathroom, sitting her on the counter by the sink. Her head lulls into the mirror where she flutters her eyes at me. I grab one of the plastic cups in the bathroom and fill it with tap water.

  “Drink this,” I instruct her.

  She shakes her head and makes a face. “No, I don’t want to,” she whines.

  I press it to her lips gently. “You need to drink this, Riley. Drink up.”

  She listens and empties the glass, wiping her mouth and looking at me with hungry eyes again. I ignore it. I unzip her boots and pull them off, then each of her socks.

  “Your feet stink.” I joke.

  She chuckles, “Sorry.”

  I grab some toilet paper off the roll and wipe her red lipstick off. Then I look around at her scattered makeup on the counter and find a wet wipe. I pull it out of the container and wipe away the makeup on her face. “How do you get the stuff on your eyes off? It’s not working,” I tell her. She laughs lightly and points to the baby oil and cotton balls. So, I dab that on her eyes and voila. “There she is. My pretty girl,” I say.

  She smiles weakly. “You’re so good to me,” she says.

  I grin, turning around to flip on the shower where I plan on taking care of my girl, cherishing her and making her feel better.

  I lift off my shirt and her breath hitches. I kick off my boots and then remove my jeans and boxers. Coming to life right before her, but that’s not my intention. Not right now.

  She’s leaning forward now—awake and wanting. “Mmm…” She moans and it’s not helping to make this easy on me.

  I walk forward reluctantly. “Don’t get any bright ideas, baby. I’m taking care of you. We’re going to shower and then you’re going to bed, pretty girl.”

  She smiles that half smile, half lip bite. It makes me crazy. Once I’m close enough, she runs her hands in my hair, down my shoulders, my pecs, across my back where she pulls me even closer. I gasp. She’s scooted herself to the edge of the counter now. We are flush. She starts kissing my neck, my ear and her hand is lowering in between us where she wraps it around my dick. I’m dying.

  She whispers in my ear, “I want to play. Then you can take care of me.” She bites my ear lobe and starts moving her hand harder and faster. “Or you can take care of me here, in the shower, on the bed. Wherever. I just want you, Josh. It’s been so long.” She breathes these words that make me wild with want.

  I grab her wrist, stilling her movements and move away. She pouts. God, I want her, too. I want her so bad.

  Her eyes twinkle and she lifts her shirt over her head. I freeze, my eyes narrowed on the most beautiful sight. “Oh, wow,” I breathe the words, staring hard at her ribs.

  She tilts her head, confused and then THE realization hits her. “Ohhhh, yeah. I got that for you. It’s not healed yet. Isn’t it pretty?” she asks looking down at her tattoo.

  “It’s breathtaking. What do you mean you got it for me?” I ask, delicately touching it. It’s gorgeous. A bird with music notes in its wings and a poem about seeing the light in the dark. For me.

  She grabs my cheeks and makes me look at her. “I want to be like that bird, not afraid of falling because the music is so loud but beautiful that I fly instead. Fly with the beats of your h
eart. I find the light in the darkness with you. You’re my music. You give me my wings.”

  God, give me strength. She’s drunk, but I can’t help but kiss her with fervor now. Kiss her senseless, breathless. I taste the salt from her sweat along the hollow of her neck. She’s writhing against me, searching for friction, for something. She’s delicious.

  “Please, Josh.” She begs, and I want nothing more than to give her what she wants.

  I slide her off the counter and undo her jeans. I can smell her arousal and damn if it doesn’t rip away all of my restraint. She steps out of her jeans and I touch her wetness over her panties. “I love that,” I say.

  She’s rolling her hips into my hand, shamelessly, mewling almost. It’s so hot. I get down on my knees and hook my thumbs into her panties, sliding them down her leg. “Tonight is about you. I want to take care of you,” I tell her as I lift her leg over my shoulder and begin trailing kisses up her thigh.

  “Oh, my God,” she says once I make contact. I lick straight up her core and her knees weaken. I cup her ass and she holds onto my shoulders. I kiss, taste, suck and savor every bit of her sweetness. Before I know it, she is rubbing herself against me, fucking my face and I love it. I fucking love every moment with her. She grabs my hair and begins to jerk. Her whimpers get closer together, her thighs squeeze my head and she rides my mouth. “Josh, Josh. I…Oh!” And then she finds her sweet release and I find I have an issue because I’m harder than I’ve ever been. She notices and her lips curl up. “That was…Wow, you have a magic mouth,” she says.

  I smirk as I stand. She pushes me to the edge of the counter. “I need to say thank you.” I watch her lower to her knees and I watch her take me into her mouth. I internally scold myself because this wasn’t my plan, but neither was going down on her. It’s just been too long, she tasted too good, her sounds were too much and I need this. So, I let her. I give in to this pleasure that only she can give me and she gives it so well. She pulls back and swirls her tongue around the tip where she tastes me. Her eyes open and lock with mine as she does. Damn, that’s so sexy. Then she opens her mouth and guides me to the back of her throat. She’s so good with her mouth. So fucking good. She moans like she is getting pleasure from my own and the sound is so hot, I get lost. It doesn’t take long and I mean to warn her when I’m about to come just like I did before, but I don’t, and she doesn’t complain. She swallows and tells me she missed this. She’s amazing.

  We shower and gently take care of each other. Caressing and loving and providing the affection we’ve been missing. We lie in the bed together completely nude and completely happy. The alcohol pulls her under quickly. I watch her sleep until my own eyes grow heavy.

  The sun rises and with it brings questions. Last night happened. How will she feel about it this morning when she’s sober?

  She stirs beside me and I realize we are both naked still. She tenses, lifts the blanket and looks underneath it then slaps it back down over her. “Um, Josh?” she asks ever so cutely.

  “Yes, pretty girl.” I answer turning onto my side feeling amused by her bashfulness.

  She blushes. “I seem to have forgotten my clothes and I really need to pee. Can you close your eyes while I get up?”

  I lowly laugh, lifting a brow. “Seriously?” She gives me a stern look. “Okay, fine. I won’t peek.” I squeeze my eyes shut and slap my hand over my face. I feel her lift out of the bed and her footsteps hitting the floor. I peek, of course. After a few moments she comes walking out with a towel wrapped around her body. She bends to her duffle bag and pulls out clothes, then walks back into the bathroom.

  When she returns, she’s dressed in cut off jean shorts that should be illegal for public and a black cami without a bra. She knows how I feel about those tops. “Okay, that’s better. Good morning,” she says, hopping onto the bed like a kid on Christmas morning. I glance down to her cami where her nipples are on display thanks to the chill in this room.

  “M’hm,” I reply. My lips curl up and I climb out the bed in nothing but my birthday suit. She gasps, but I don’t say anything. I’m not embarrassed. I walk to the bathroom, take a piss and brush my teeth with her toothbrush. I throw on my boxers and jeans, sans my shirt. I know how she gets all flustered by my chest, ergo this is my appearance. I walk out the bathroom and crawl on the bed to her. “Mornin, pretty girl.”

  I kiss her forehead and she sighs contented, “M’hm.”

  “I need some coffee,” she says after we are snuggled against one another. It’s freezing like a blizzard in this room and she is curled up into me under the blankets.

  “You want me to run down and get you some, or I can call room service for breakfast, too.”

  Her stomach growls on cue as always. “I could eat,” she says giggling.

  I grab the hotel phone and order us two coffees, a yogurt parfait for her and a breakfast burrito with salsa for me. She’s texting while I order.

  “Is Emily okay this morning?” I ask after I end the call.

  She taps out a message. “Yeah, um…she said she wants to sleep a few more hours, or lifetimes. I think her and Collin will be in bed all morning.” As soon as she says it, she tenses and looks at me with a sudden sparkle of desire in her eyes.

  I smile and shrug. “We can do the same. I won’t complain.”

  Her eyes travel all over me. And then we’re kissing again. Mouths pressed to the other, hands roaming against the skin that’s getting warm. I will never tire of this.

  “Room service,” a voice booms forgoing the knock at the door. We untangle and separate catching our breath. She falls back, panting on the bed while I grab my wallet, head to the door to pay for our breakfast and curse the bad timing as I go.

  I come back with a tray of breakfast and ask, “You still want coffee?”

  She shakes her head and so I put the tray down on the dresser by the television, grabbing the yogurt and breakfast burrito, putting them into the tiny fridge below.

  “You want something else?” I ask when I stand back up. She nods and climbs onto her knees crooking a finger to me. I comply, but when I climb onto the bed to kiss her we bump heads and fall over laughing.

  “Ouch.” She’s holding her forehead.

  “Sorry, that wasn’t supposed to happen,” I tell her.

  We’re both laughing and because I love the sound of her laughter, I start tickling her and pinning her beneath me. I’m straddling her and she’s wiggling below me. “You think I’m funny?” I ask amused.

  “No, no. Please, stop. Josh. Oh, my God. Stop!” She squirms to get free and I grab her wrists, pinning them above her head. Ceasing our tickle and laughter fest. She stills and her chest starts rising and falling heavier. I stare into her beautiful eyes that I’ve noticed become more dark blue when she’s turned on. I lean in kissing the side of her mouth, then her cheek, her forehead, the other side of her mouth, her neck, then back up to her lips that are now parted and begging for attention. She’s writhing against me and trying to pull her hands free from my grip, needing to reach her hands into my hair like she always does, but I don’t let her go just yet. I like her feeling needy and frustrated. It gives me a high and it always makes her hotter.

  “I’ve missed you so much, baby. These past few months have been hell without you.” I tell her as I kiss down her neck, down her chest. “I can’t wait to be inside you,” I whisper in her ear as I lick the spot that always makes her wild.

  Not this time, though.

  This time she freezes and her whole body goes rigid. She begins to hum and the whole thing freaks me the fuck out so I sit up on my knees and release her wrists instantly.

  Her wrists?

  It slams into me when I see her eyes squeezed shut and her body there vulnerable and locked up tight while a soft hum comes from her lips. I instantly feel sick to my stomach. Sick.

  Oh, my God. She’s stuck, though, somewhere in her head, somewhere dark. I triggered it.

  Damn. Damn. Damn.

&nbs
p; I climb off of her, giving her room to breathe and she gasps. She gasps like she just climbed out of the water after holding her breath for far too long. She blinks her eyes a few times and then looks at me. She looks at me, and scrambles up on the bed, trembling.

  Is she afraid of me?

  She runs a nervous, shaky hand through her hair and over her face. “Josh? What the hell just happened?” she asks.

  I shake my head back and forth, back and forth. “I…I don’t know. I think I hurt you and you shut down, or something.”

  She shuts her eyes. “You would never hurt me,” she whispers in a small voice.

  With trepidation and a thundering heartbeat, I sit on the bed beside her. “Look at me, please.” She does. “I grabbed your wrists. We were playing. I’ve done it before and it makes you all hot, but this time I think it scared you. Maybe? I’m not sure really. I’m so sorry.”

  She looks down to her wrist and then up to me as a few tears begin to chase the other. “That makes no sense. I wanted you. I liked what you were doing. It felt…you felt…I’m so confused,” she says, letting her head fall onto my shoulder where I cradle her.

  “It’s okay. It’s going to be fine. You’re fine. We’re fine.” I say these things and I don’t know what the hell I’m saying because whatever the hell just happened is most definitely NOT fine.

  As soon as her breathing settles, I not only backpedal from sex with her, I literally sprint in the opposite direction. “Let’s eat breakfast and then go do something outside this room. Ya wanna?” I ask, knowing I have no intention of giving her a decision in this matter. We aren’t staying in this room.

  “What about Collin and Emily?”

  “We can see if they want to come with.”

  CHAPTER 21

  After my dad died, I used to have nightmares about it. I never saw the accident in person, but I did see the pictures of the scene when it hit the news that night. How they air lifted Josh’s mom to the hospital, who was announced DOA. How they had to use the Jaws of Life to remove my dad who was announced dead at the scene. That was in my head, though, I never once while awake, let myself visibly replay that because it hurt too much. So, this with Josh this morning—me zoning out like that with him loving me—it’s killing me on the inside because I want him more than anything and now he’s scared to touch me.