The De-Coding of Jo

by Lali A. Love

  “I….I never meant to be disparaging. I just want the best for you, Daphne. You are my world; I love you, my baby.” Her mother broke her stoic exterior, tears flooding down her face. It was unusual and heartbreaking to witness her cry.

  For the first time, Daphne felt heard, acknowledged, validated. She opened her heart to let her mother into her sympathetic embrace.

  “I love you, Mom. Please don’t cry. Let’s just focus on our communications from now on. I just hope you will be conscious about the words you use to relay your emotions, okay?” Daphne hugged her mother tightly as she acknowledged her request.

  With this simple act of kindness and by relaying her honesty, she had changed the nature of their mother-daughter relationship and reality.

  Armed with this solace, Daphne found her resilience to overcome her insecurities when surrounded by football players and cheerleaders at school. She still had a lot of healing to do to process the distress she endured a few months ago at a house party. But Daphne knew that with time, she would emerge stronger, wiser, and out of victimhood.

  Jo had spent hours on the phone with her, sharing her understanding of self-realization attitudes. Daphne recalled a specific message that really resonated with her during their chat.

  “Daph, I have learned that our thoughts dictate our feelings, which are expressed through our bodies. How we think and how we feel create our state of being. If we stop in the moment and become aware of our stress-induced hormones, we halt the pattern of behaviors. We begin to understand that operating from this space causes us to unconsciously focus on the worst-case scenarios. This contracts our energy, resulting in self-sabotage and negativity. We then magnetically attract these types of experiences back into our reality,” Jo explained.

  Daphne felt an intense shift in her momentum when she heard those powerful words. They were seeded in her mind, flourishing with every opportunity to expand her perception.

  She realized that every time she focused her attention on negative events that insulted her Soul, she lowered her energetic tone.

  In those moments of anxiety, she regained control of her inner dialogue, learning to cultivate her state of being. By taking deep cleansing breaths, Daphne was empowered with tranquility, calming the inflammation of her central nervous system. She learned to take time to process her feelings before reacting from a fight or flight state. This was done by exercising self-love, kindness, and empathy for herself.

  As Daphne prepared for her classes, she made a crucial decision. She was no longer interested in unnecessary drama caused by unprocessed trauma.

  “Come on baby, light my fire. Everything you drop is so tired. Music is supposed to inspire, how come we ain’t getting no higher?”—Superstar by Lauryn Hill

  CHAPTER 3

  Lifting the Veil

  “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

  —Socrates

  Jo

  I woke up feeling bogged down by the previous day’s download during the time travel. The wisdom of the Council and the presence of the Pleiadeans were a cosmic high. I was still feeling the warm embrace of the magnificent Beings as they welcomed me home in my Ethereal form.

  This ascension schooling was no joke. It required most of my vital force energy. Training my pineal gland to expand the connection of my physical emotional body and spirit had become an active practice that flooded most of my mental space. It was partly the reason I forgot about Flynn’s homecoming surprise party.

  After making a quick pit stop at Daphne’s house, we picked up Flynn’s favorites snacks and cute decorations. I hoped that he felt special, loved, and accepted as we welcomed him back with open arms.

  It was our responsibility as his friends to give him the support he needed while battling his dependencies to stimuli. In a group chat, we decided to keep all forms of drugs and alcohol away from the party, including cigarettes.

  I was filled with optimism and pure joy as I witnessed Flynn and Zax together as a couple. Ever since Zax confessed his true feelings for his best friend, he was like a different person. There was an energy of serenity around him, and I could sense the relief projecting from his core. The affection for each other was evident, and it brightened both of their faces.

  “Is this a coincidence, or did you two lovebirds pre-plan on color coordinating?” Daphne pointed to Flynn and Zax’s purple shirts, teasing them.

  “Why, are you jealous, Daph?” Zax laughed sassily.

  “Yes, go ahead, avoid my question. Your refusal to answer says it all, my dude.” Daphne snickered, and the rest of us joined in the harmless banter.

  My heart warmed, observing their beautiful, loving auras. They held hands throughout the evening, demonstrating their affection. The teasing elicited smiles and rosy blushes from Flynn, displaying Zax’s happiness and tranquility. It was a sight to behold! What a transformation since his liberation.

  I decided to leave Flynn’s homecoming gathering earlier than normal. As I drove home, passing the beautifully lit and manicured lawns of suburbia, I couldn’t help but reflect on my meeting with the Council. I was tired from the day’s adventures, feeling emotionally drained.

  Once I finally reached the sanctity of my bedroom, I felt a surge of energy ripple through my body. So much for sleep. I could only focus on accessing my third eye to tap into the mysterious clairvoyant messages.

  The urgency I had received the day before triggered my unease. A feeling of upheaval and doom had crawled up into my chest, rocking my state of peace and stability out of equilibrium.

  I needed to realign my energy fields and resolve the imbalanced emotions. The Council had tasked me to exercise control over my expressive reactions, no matter the obstacles that came my way.

  However, I felt my mind wandering back to Ms. Rolland’s unreadable energy. The grayish-white aura deeply puzzled me, and it kept me from teleporting to her residence. For some reason, my magic didn’t work around her. It was interesting to me that she was the first person to repel my powers.

  Her aura stuck in my mind like sticky toffee, trying to massage and process the information. As I observed the chaos of my thought patterns, a feeling of foreboding took hold of me. Doom was about to unfold in our reality. Whatever was coming, my salvation for this experience rested with the enigmatic, StarSeed named Roma.

  Flynn

  After spending six weeks in rehabilitation, Flynn was determined to change his life. He didn’t wish to end up like Rey, accidentally overdosing on recreational drugs. He was determined that this time it would be different.

  With some extensive reflection on his past, Flynn had time to focus on his inner work and the underlying triggers behind his real feelings. The rehab facility provided him safe, caring, and nurturing therapy, which was vital for his healing and recovery.

  Growing up, Flynn had always been a rebellious child and as such was criticized for his conduct. His parents often disapproved of his behavior when he acted out, damaging his self-esteem.

  This led to codependent, self-destructive mannerisms as he grew up, using them as defense mechanisms to mask his pain. Flynn projected his feelings of humiliation on others as a protective shield.

  He recalled his last session in rehab with his therapist and remembered his oath. He was fully invested in his mental health and well-being journey. Flynn had too much to lose to screw it up again.

  “Why are you so hard on yourself, Flynn?” The therapist inquired.

  “Hard on myself? I think it’s important to acknowledge the truth. Isn’t that part of rehabilitation, Doc?” Flynn asked with a grin.

  “Yes, but it doesn’t need to be done with self-criticism. Why so harsh?” she asked again.

  “Well, I guess it’s because I feel like my entire life has been a lie. I’ve been a liability to everyone who ever cared for me—my family, my friends,” Flynn whispered in remorse. “I put so much emphasis on other people’s opinions on their version of who I’m supposed to be. That person isn’t really me, you k
now?”

  “What does that mean? Am I speaking to an avatar? Where’s the real Flynn?” the doctor inquired.

  “I don’t really know, to be honest. I’ve been pretending for so long. It’s the only way I can hide from my pain. How do I discover my true self?”

  “First, we have to acknowledge your feelings and ordeals hiding under the masks. Have you ever thought of hurting yourself, Flynn?” The subject was broached carefully.

  “There’s a huge difference between thinking about it and wanting. But there have been occasions when that gap got too close. Especially after my benders,” Flynn admitted. He’d made a promise to Zax that he would be honest in the therapy sessions while he was in rehab.

  “Somehow, I have always thought of puberty as this irreversible metamorphosis. Terrifying. Stuck in conformity and expectations, just like my mom. I just want to be free,” Flynn said, relaying more than he expected.

  “Is that how you perceive your mom, Flynn? Stuck?” the doctor persisted.

  “I don’t really want to talk about my mom right now. Or my dad’s trust fund,” he replied, shutting down the conversation completely.

  Flynn was the prodigal son of his wealthy family, born the last of six children. His family owned a big construction company that provided them with a lavish lifestyle, which earned Flynn the title of the “Trust Fund Kid” at school.

  He proudly embraced the title. If anyone was looking to party, they only needed to approach Flynn. He always provided generous partying gifts for any event. His carefree attitude had led him to develop many unhealthy habits and dependencies.

  Having unlimited access to cash provided plenty of opportunities to experiment with hard-core drugs at an early age. Flynn had developed a compulsion for painkillers, alcohol, and cocaine in his teenage years.

  He had spent the past summer in rehab, managing sobriety for an astounding sixty days. Yet he relapsed on the first day he returned to school. Flynn possessed a despairing mindset and he always felt that life was too short to be taken seriously. That had been his motto.

  “I have no set agenda, Flynn. We can discuss whatever you wish. Do you want to talk about Zaxden?” the doctor asked, fully immersed in gaining Flynn’s trust.

  “Zax is my best friend and the love of my life. No one has ever looked at me like he does. He sees me, like underneath all these layers of crap. He notices the real me,” Flynn said with a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

  “Can you articulate how he makes you feel?” the doctor pressed.

  “Umm…I think the best way to describe it is that he makes me feel like the ocean—strong, secure, and in constant free motion. I’ve never known a love like that. This probably sounds cheesy.” Flynn attempted to laugh it off, blushing with embarrassment.

  “I think it sounds lovely and like a huge relief,” she replied.

  “It was so surreal when Zax finally admitted his feelings for me. I was stunned. Growing up together, there were so many moments when I wanted to kiss him. But he always portrayed himself as this strong, masculine guy. I was too afraid that my best friend would reject me. I’m completely in love with him, and it makes me feel really exposed, vulnerable.” Flynn admitted.

  “Isn’t that a good thing, knowing how much Zax loves you? You don’t have to pretend anymore,” the doctor said, trying to get below the surface.

  “Honestly, I’m afraid. Once I leave rehab, he will see me without the drugs and alcohol masking my pain. He may not love the messy, weak, frightened little boy inside.” Flynn unleashed his truth for the first time.

  “It’s okay to be scared. We are all afraid of rejection and abandonment to some degree, but you can’t allow that worry to rob you from having healthy and joyful experiences. You just need to acknowledge the fear, and it’s important not to bypass your emotions,” the doctor explained. “Can you describe what the word pain means to you, Flynn?”

  “Do you mean physical or emotional pain? For me, they both feel the same. It’s anything that hurts or is uncomfortable, whether it’s my broken arm or my broken heart, it just doesn’t feel good. And to be honest, I’m too scared to go through the suffering, to feel the distress,” Flynn admitted, revealing a truth that had surfaced for the first time.

  “That’s understandable, and I like how you described it, Flynn.” The Doctor smiled, commending his ability to communicate his feelings.

  “In my experience, I have learned that pain is a label we use to describe something that doesn’t feel good. It’s another form of energy that is designed to move through our bodies. When we have a traumatic event during our childhood or young adult years, the energy of this experience attaches to our physical body. We then formulate certain thoughts, beliefs, and patterns around this particular experience we refuse to feel, so it gets stuck,” the doctor explained.

  “This builds up a crust of dense energy, and it grows as we continue to avoid or bypass the process of feeling the emotions. So, as we get older, there’s this cemented mud that gets stuck along the walls of our interior body and blocks our energy fields. When we decide to finally acknowledge that crusted traumatic event, we start to feel the discomfort as it’s dislodging from our emotional body.”

  “So, every time I do my inner work and identify the causes of my pain that’s behind my addictions, I eliminate the cemented crust from my system?” Flynn asked.

  “Yes, as long as you don’t affix to it or judge the process of purging the extreme distress of your past. This is a necessary step toward your healing journey, Flynn. The more you feel your emotions, the faster you release the blockage. Going through this process requires lots of courage. It’s like a band-aid when you first remove it, there’s an immediate sting and then you don’t feel it anymore,” the doctor said, continuing to connect with Flynn.

  “It’s perfectly alright to feel your pain—embrace it, normalize it, and then detach from it. Don’t label it, don’t identify with it, and just allow the energy to flow through you. The pain wants to be acknowledged, honored, and liberated from your heart.” The doctor concluded her advice before changing subjects.

  “Thanks, Doc, you have definitely given me lots to think about. I’m excited to share this information with Zax, I think it will resonate with him as well.” Flynn replied.

  “It sounds like Zax knows you quite well. You two have been friends since you were young kids, right? It seems to me that you have quite a solid bond, and you trust him,” she said with a warm smile.

  “What if I relapse again because my sobriety is completely reliant on Zax and his acceptance of my authentic self? I don’t want to put him through that again. It’s too painful. And let’s face it Doc, life can be a real letdown.” Flynn distrusted the prospect of true happiness and freedom of self-expression.

  “What do you mean, Flynn?” she asked.

  “It’s just so much easier to hide in my room and connect with people online. The relationships are these fantasies that I concoct in my own head. That’s why I fall so easily for boys, girls, men. It doesn’t matter in the end because it’s not real. I’m safe in my bubble when I don’t let anyone in. They can’t hurt me,” Flynn confessed.

  “Wouldn’t you rather spend that precious time with your best friend, instead of the illusory fantasies you narrate in your mind?” the doctor asked blankly.

  “Of course, I would! I just don’t want to lose him. What if he can’t handle my physical and intimate connection? He has never been in a relationship with a guy. I just can’t live without Zax,” Flynn said, his mind automatically racing with worst-case scenarios.

  “You know that having a codependent relationship isn’t healthy, Flynn. You can’t allow perceptions and fear to dictate your choices,” she reiterated, peering over her reading glasses, perched low on her nose.

  The doctor decided to wrap up the productive session. “Perhaps you can give the twelve-step program a real chance this time. Take it slow, one day at a time. What do you think?”

  “I will, Doc. As
part of my recovery, I have already begun to make amends with my family for putting them through the nightmare.” Flynn responded.

  “Just remember to be patient and kind with yourself Flynn, and most importantly, forgive yourself. Give yourself the compassion and empathy that you are seeking from others first. That’s the only way to move forward,” she continued, reminding him about self-love after every session, over the six weeks.

  The doctor’s words were etched into Flynn’s mind as he prepared for school. Forgiveness had been a lot tougher than he had originally anticipated. The intrusive, self-disparaging thoughts still lingered. But he was determined to take back control of his life and heal one day at a time.

  Flynn felt profoundly thankful to be surrounded by Zax and his considerate friends while he was recovering. He felt open and extremely vulnerable without his fake persona. Whether he believed he deserved it or not, they did not judge him for his past regressions, and for that, he was extremely grateful.

  Jo

  The backs of my legs and arms tingled with invigorating fervor. Today was a fresh start, a new day. With prolonged mediation practices, I was determined to focus and expand my pineal gland to receive more information from Roma. I had this unexplainable, magnetic pull toward this mysterious stranger.

  I had to speak to her. I knew she’d have the answers I was seeking for my next mission. The swelling and pulsations in my third eye acted as a radio receiver to tap into the right station. I hoped that my consciousness had increased to the level required to obtain the clairvoyant messages.

  Just as I grabbed my favorite black hoodie, I received a message from Conrad.

  Will be waiting for you outside of school, hurry up gorgeous!