Almost Official

by Ruby Reade

  Just as my mind turns to worrying about my own mental health if I am to be subjected to this every day, Alex comes over and rescues me. He takes over with the crazy woman before I run screaming for the door.

  I take a moment to check him out and watch how he copes with all the madness. He isn't attractive, but he isn't completely hideous either just sort of, average. I roll my eyes at myself. It's not been long enough to want to dive back into the singleton search for the perfect man just yet, but it seems I have gone into that role automatically. Slyly assessing and contemplating any male that comes into contact with me for suitability. Why can't I just enjoy being single for once without my subconscious piping up.

  Since sleeping with Satan, I have lost my job, although I technically walked out, been cheated on, and lost my boyfriend. All of this, for a one nightstand, which wasn't anything to shout about. A close encounter with the Devil and my life has swiftly gone down the pan.

  I look up ready to plaster my work face back on as the next group of people descend on us like the plague. I relax slightly as The Students will be far, far easier to deal with.

  They are probably the friendliest group to frequent the coffee shop, although not great in the business sense as they only ever order one hot chocolate between four yet take up five tables. They sit debating for hours without letting anyone drink the the bloody thing, just so they can sit and talk. I don't understand why they wouldn't go to someone's house and sit and talk while having drinks for free.

  On my way back from cleaning up their tables and removing the one mug, I nearly collide with a customer who has walked through the door.

  When I realise that it's Amy, it suddenly seems fitting when a blast of wind takes the door and slams it open to announce the witch is here. She stops to look me up and down.

  'God. I can't believe they've hired you.' Is all she says before flicking her hair at me and brushing past. Little bloody Miss Perfect. I think it would improve her face if I planted my trainer in it.

  I fight with the door against the wind, finally closing it when someone else wants to leave. Typical.

  I end up standing by the door letting people in and out whilst the hussy orders her drinks from Mike. I wonder if I could bar her for being irritating. I am the manager. Surely there should be some perks.

  'Well, I would like to say it's been a pleasure, but I would be lying. It seems to have lost that, friendly, feel to the place.' She says looking me straight in the eyes.

  'Well, that is a shame to hear, you are a valued customer and I do hope you come again.' I say gushing at her as though she is the queen. I think the little claps and curtsey might have been a bit over the top.

  'Whatever.' She throws back and turns on her heel to march out.

  I don't know what Kev sees in her. She is an uptight ice maiden with an icicle permanently shoved up her arse.

  I turn around when I notice Alex laughing at me.

  'What?' I ask innocently and shrug at him.

  'I see you have made a new friend.' He raises his eyebrows and pours us a coffee each. I plop down into the nearest chair, happy for it to be empty for once, and Miranda and Mike cleaning in the kitchen. I had almost forgotten how nice it is to sit and be quiet.

  'You know her?' I ask, shutting my eyes.

  'Amy? Yeah, she is the owner of Knives and Forks down the seafront, she is the one who told me about the job going.' He tells me in-between sipping his boiling drink.

  'Good luck working with her. I think she will be a bit of a handful.' I warn him.

  'She has that reputation, but then I am known for my fabulous bitch handling skills.' He informs me with a massive grin.

  The door chimes ending the conversation. After that point the afternoon disappears as I take in ordering details, stocktaking, Health and Safety, the menu, rotas, wages, and staff details. I didn't realise how much work it would be.

  I look at the clock and almost cry with relief. Nearly time to go.

  'Well, my head is banging, my feet are throbbing, and I stink of coffee.' Why can't we just sell tea? I lean on the counter to ease the pressure on my feet.

  'It gets easier boss.' Mike says, patting me on the shoulder before leaving. I can't wait to follow him out of the door.

  Miranda picks up her bags and calls, 'See you later boss,' before rushing out of the door.

  'So?' Alex says, asking me the question without saying it. I stare back at him in two minds. 'You are coming back tomorrow, right?' He sounds a bit worried and I bet his fingers are crossed behind his back.

  'Mmmmhmmm.' I moan and nod my head. The thought of my bank balance forces me to answer. Even if I had said no, my Mum would have dragged me back tomorrow anyway, so I might as well make it seem like I want to come back.

  Chapter 9

  Kevin

  I pull up to the house and I can't wait to get in. What a nightmare day. I am in dire need of a cold beer. Amy hasn't stopped bloody calling all day and asking what I am up to, and what I am thinking about. I am working for fuck's sake. I am at work, thinking about, work.

  Labourers never turned up, clients have pulled jobs, clients not paying and stock vanishing, so all in all it's been a big steaming pile of dog crap. So, when Amy started ringing for pointless conversations, or wanted to discuss my wardrobe and appearance, or map our future, it sent me a bit insane.

  At least Lucy never wanted to change what I wore. I mean what the hell is wrong with the way I look? Saying that, maybe Lucy did think I looked like shit because she went and slept with that prick.

  I walk into a pigsty and my mood drops even further.

  'Drew. Drew? This place looks like a fucking squat.' I shout up the stairs after looking for him in every room downstairs and seeing each is just as untidy as the next.

  All I can see everywhere is empty beer cans, Drew's empty beer cans, and KFC packaging scattered all over the place.

  'We're up here.' Drew shouts back.

  'You can't evict us. We have squatters’ rights.' Luke tells me as I make my way up to them.

  'You two need to get off your backsides and get a job.' I growl at them like my Dad would.

  'Please sir, don't shout, I can pick a pocket or two.' Luke pleads not taking his eyes from the racing cars on the screen and beating Drew easily. 'I kick ass at this.' He stands up and bows.

  I sit down behind them as Drew starts another game. You have to love his determination to win, even though he never does. To anyone.

  'Amy wants you to ring her as soon as you get in, she said it was important, and she has called three times already.' Drew tells me already miles behind Luke.

  'Drew mate, you're never going to beat him, and Amy can kiss my arse. I'm going to get changed, head to the gym before coming home to crack a beer and jump in the shower.' I say leaving them to it.

  Why can't she just leave, me, alone. Oh Kevin I miss you, oh Kevin I think we should go on holiday, oh Kevin I can't wait to take you shopping, oh Kevin I think you should come and meet Daddy properly. I don't want to do any of those things with her, and I already know her Dad, I'm doing a job for him. What is wrong with the girl?

  For something that was meant to be a bit of fun and light relief, it has been nothing but complete and utter hassle.

  I miss Lucy. Lucy makes me laugh and is as fun to hang out with as the boys. I miss Lucy who actually eats the meal I am paying for instead of rearranging it into colours and taking one bite, and Lucy who will drink Bud straight from the bottle.

  I get changed and decide to forget about work and women for a couple of hours. I spend ten minutes hunting for my trainers and joggers before having a sudden fuzzy memory of lying on the floor drunk and seeing them under the sofa.

  I jog into the front room in my boxers and can't wait to get going now. The sight that greets me stops me in my tracks.

  'Hi Kevin. You didn't return my calls. I was worried.' She really does look like a Barbie doll, a phsyco stalker Barbie. 'The boys let me in.'

  'Oh did the
y, that was good of them but I am on my way to the gym tonight, like we discussed. I told you earlier I have had a stressful day, and I need to let off steam.' I smile through gritted teeth. When I have finished with them, they won't have a tooth left between them.

  'They both seem really funny.'

  'Yep, they have a sense of humour all of their own.' I say without moving my jammed teeth and forced smile. She is looking a bit uncomfortable now.

  'I saw that girl today.' She tells me playing with the zip on her bag.

  'What girl?' I ask not really wanting to join in on another shit conversation with a girl I don't want in my house.

  'The drunk girl who thought she knew you.' She tells me quietly not looking up. So, this is the reason for all the calls and appearance in my front room. I'm lucky she hasn't seen my face.

  'Oh really, where did you see her babe?' I ask, trying to sound normal whilst retrieving my bag from under the chair. It gives me time to compose myself again.

  'In Tiffanies. Apparently, she works there now, although I have no idea why Alex would hire a weirdo like her. I don't think I can bring myself to go in there anymore.' She says sounding more confident now she is putting someone else down.

  'In Tiffanies? Are you sure it was her?' I ask deliberately keeping my face blank.

  'Yes. I told you I saw her. I wouldn't forget her.' She gently warns me, and I smile back at her.

  'Of course not darling. Did she say anything to you?' I ask my mind racing. Maybe she left because she didn't want to see me, or she didn't want a relationship with her boss and left so they could continue sleeping with each other.

  'No. Why are you so interested? You don't know her, do you?' She asks narrowing her eyes.

  'I already told you I don't know her. Don't you believe me?' I challenge her.

  'Of course I believe you it just seems odd, how she knows your name and, and well, everything. You should speak to the police she could be dangerous, like some kind of stalker.' She warns and I almost laugh at her. Imagine, Lucy a stalker. I shake my head.

  'No baby, just ignore her, but you are right. I probably wouldn't go in there and antagonise her.' I say. I don’t want her going in there again and letting something slip.

  'Ah my poor sexy man. I'll protect you.' She coos at me and swings her hips over to me.

  'Right, I have to get to the gym before I have no time left but I'll call you tomorrow.' I divert her grabbing her elbow and swiftly taking her to the door.

  'I could give you a workout.' She offers with a wink when we get there.

  'As amazing as that sounds baby, I've promised my mates, and you wouldn't want me to be the kind of guy who breaks his promises now, would you?' I ask peeling her arms from around my neck.

  'Guess not.' She mutters, not entirely happy. She gives me the look I am sure when she was six would have got her anything. I can't work out why I am still letting her think there is something between us. I suppose having someone, even someone like Amy, is better than sitting at home thinking and wasting my life over Lucy.

  'I'll call you when I get home.' I promise feeling guilty. I kiss her on the lips and tap her bum as she jumps off the step.

  As soon as the front door shuts, I run straight up the stairs to confront Drew and Luke.

  'You're a couple of clowns aren't ya?' I say, slapping Drew around the back of the head.

  'Oh come on sweetness, if it was one of us you would have done exactly the same thing and be pissing yourself silly right about now. You're just mad it was us against you.' Luke says still not pausing the game.

  'Do one.' Is all I say and walk off leaving them to it.

  'But we love you baby.' Drew shouts out of the window to me as I storm out of the door to my car. I stick my finger up at him.

  Luke finally pulls himself away from his game to poke his head out of the window to shout, 'I just want to know what you're thinking baby. Don't be mad, is it because I got fat?' I don't bother replying and drive off, leaving him laughing out of the window like a freak. I bet Sally's curtain is twitching away again over the road.

  A fabulous ending to the day, half of my street will now think I am gay and I'm even less likely to get any decent action. Action that doesn't include ultra-obsessive freaks or cheats.

  As the luck of my day continues, there are no parking spaces when I get to the gym, so I drive around and around, waiting until somebody leaves.

  I finally get inside the gym doors and I am just about ready to knock anybody who looks at me the wrong way. As coincidence would have it, that person happens to be Matt standing behind the desk looking smug.

  'Evening Mr Wright, did you need a drink tonight to train with.' A perfectly normal question is turned into an insult as he smirks at me and gives my card back.

  'Nah cheers, didn't realise you got demoted.' I pop at him.

  'Demoted? Me? Lucy always said you had a good sense of humour, how is she by the way?' He asks with another smirk.

  'Yeah, she is good thanks, and I wanted to thank you by the way.' I smile leaning on the counter, loving the fact he looks baffled.

  'Thank me?' Clearly not the reaction he was looking for. He looks like he is trying to work out if he heard me correctly.

  'Yeah, thank you. You see,' I lean further forward and loudly whisper, 'She said, that after shagging you, she would never get better than me. So you see, I wanted to thank you for doing me a favour mate.' I slap him on the shoulder and leave him fuming.

  'Go and clear the cups. I'm not paying you to gawp at me.' I hear him bark as I walk up to the main gym. I must remember to apologise to the poor receptionist before I leave. I bounce up the stairs, suddenly in a much better mood.

  They say a problem shared is a problem halved, well I don't know if I so much shared as dumped all my irritation on that prick.

  I jump straight onto the running machine and start off on a jog to get my blood pumping.

  I'm in full flow when Laura walks up and looks around as though she is lost. She spies me and comes to stand next to me.

  'Hey.' I greet her pulling out my earphones and slowing back to a more comfortable pace.

  'Hey yourself.' She says and wrinkles her nose when I use my towel to wipe the sweat away, which is pouring down my face and neck.

  'Nice.'

  'Better than letting it drip all over the machines.' I reply still trying to get my breath back.

  'So, what did you say to Satan?' She asks moving closer.

  'Satan?'

  'Matt. He is acting like Hitler down there. I'm now not allowed to go home until I have made another two sales. Like that, is going to happen.' She screws her face up at me.

  'Ah sorry Laura, I was just unloading on him for being so smug. I thought it was better to piss him off a bit than hit him.' I reason.

  'I guess so. Anyway, who is this Amy girl then?' She asks the real question. I was expecting this. I take a mouthful of water to buy some time.

  'I found out about Lucy and that creep downstairs. She cheated on me first, and I haven't even fucked the girl, yet somehow, I am the one made to look like the prize arsehole. I don't get it, I really don't.' I slow to a cooldown. I can't stay on here and have this conversation. I feel trapped.

  'So this is just payback then?' She asks, not looking impressed with my reasoning.

  'Look I was supposed to take her out for the first time the night I sent Lucy that text by mistake, up to that point it had just been flirting at work and on the phone. After that text I didn't even go.'

  'But then you took her out on Friday and bumped into us.' Laura says, taking some of my water.

  'Right, I just want to say I'm not mad on this bird, but I can't waste my time hanging around for Lucy to make up her mind. She obviously wanted it over otherwise she wouldn't have slept with him, and even after then I tried to sort it out and she wasn't interested. So that is it, the end of that chapter.' I tell as I stretch out my aching muscles.

  'You didn't think it would be the adult thing to do, to
confront her about it and find out what happened?' She asks kneeling to catch my eye.

  'No. No I didn't. It pissed me off and rightly so. You point me out anyone, girl or guy, who after finding out they had been cheated on, would then go and nicely discuss the situation. I'm sorry I did it behind her back, but I am not going to apologise for her shagging someone else. I won't do it.'

  'Laura. You will not get sales sitting up here.' Matt shouts across the gym. His angry face looks like it is going to explode when he sees her with me.

  'Actually mate, I was just giving her the numbers of a couple of guys who want to join.' I shout back and wink at him. He doesn't respond, instead spins around and goes back where he came from.

  'Oh cheers.' Laura thanks me. Rubbing her eyes, she looks tired.

  'No honestly, Luke and Pete will want to join up, Luke was home Friday and Pete is back tomorrow.' I tell her.

  'They're back?' She asks turning back to face me. 'Really?'

  'Yep. Me and the guys are back together again, ready to show this town how it is done.' I grin at her. She rolls her eyes and walks off waving.

  Chapter 10

  Lucy

  It's the crack of dawn, and I am mentally and physically shattered after my first day at the coffee shop. I couldn't sleep last night, because every time I closed my eyes Alex's voice floated into my head with his lists and procedures I needed to do each day. Even though I scrubbed myself silly in the shower, the smell of coffee seems to be ingrained into the deepest layers of my skin that no amount of Clarins will budge.

  Working behind the till this morning, I have discovered yet another new breed of humans. The Grey People, commuters that I am told by Miranda surface every single morning. They all wear muted colours and have grey skin. I have come to the conclusion, that their skin is made from concrete and if they are unfortunately made to smile or make any facial expression, their skin will crack irreparably. They don't get humour and have a need for caffeine served with minimum fuss and maximum efficiency which must be fulfilled or else I am subjected the height of scorn and disdain.