The Darkness Within

by Taylor K. Scott

  It only took Sam and Grant six months of reconciling after he was released, before he popped the question. However, they chose to have a long engagement, only so Grant could get back on his feet and give time for all the drama, rumors, and gossip to die down. Sam is a fully qualified therapist while my brother finally managed to get into his dream career of coaching football. I still have no idea how the game works and I can’t say I’m any closer to being bothered by the fact.

  Bowie and I have nearly qualified in our chosen fields. Being us, we chose the longest training courses you could possibly sign up for. I’m studying medicine and he’s training to be an architect; he’s pretty amazing at it too. We frequently joke about how we’re going to be living with the largest student debt amongst all our friends, but we’re happy. I guess that’s all that matters.

  Gabe stood proudly as best man and had all manner of Sam’s friends fussing and fawning over him, particularly as he wore his full military uniform for the ceremony. He’s still adamant he won’t be engaging in anything as emotionally draining as getting involved with someone he could catch real feelings for, but I think the opposite sex has his parents to thank for that. Mind you, I would be surprised if his bed is empty tonight, for he’s never short of admirers. I teased him by offering to pass on Mercy’s number, but he gave me a hard pass, telling me she reminds him too much of himself. Of course, I wouldn’t have her any other way. She’s living in Italy at the moment, where she’s teaching English to young businessmen, which will be right up her alley. I hope to go and visit when I graduate.

  Bowie and I haven’t been able to keep our hands off one another all day, which I guess is normal for couples at weddings. Even now we are making love between the sheets, slowly, lazily, and indulgently. He watches me grinding on top of him with lustful, dreamy eyes, but I can’t force myself to look away. His hands roam up and down my naked body, moaning when mine join in with his.

  “I guess we’ll have to stop at some point, Baby,” he hisses just as he squeezes my nipples firmly between his fingers.

  “Getting tired, are we?” I move my hand down to circle my clit, an action that always drives him wild for some reason. He laughs softly before flipping us over so he is now on top of me.

  “I will never get tired of this,” he says between kissing me up and down my neck, which he then bites, “but I have something I need to do.”

  “Oh?” I raise a brow in question, but he just grins suspiciously before upping his movements to a pace that is more punishing, and sure to tip me over the edge. We both gasp for air when an orgasm slams straight through me. Bowie’s smile turns dark before grabbing the headboard and begins thrusting hard and fast until he too, falls over into his own release. We kiss slowly afterward, with nothing on the horizon to make us move any quicker than we want to.

  Moments later, we are lying side by side, both thoroughly exhausted in our hotel bed, staring out into the darkness. His firm body rests snuggly behind mine and his hand lazily strokes my arm before settling into my own. The moon reminds me of being back at my old house and I feel a melancholy slip over me.

  Does he still think about us?

  Apart from finding out that Matt had been incarcerated and was receiving psychiatric treatment, I refused to let myself delve any deeper into what happened to him. It was too hard to think of my childhood friend being the monster he had turned into. I went through a myriad of emotions over the course of that summer: anger, sadness, confusion, guilt. Was he evil or mentally disturbed in some way? Should I have spotted it earlier? Could I have saved him? Was it my fault?

  The thoughts and questions were deafening at the beginning. In the end, I had to pretend he had died. I had to mourn the loss of him as a friend, rather than try to pick apart the man he had turned into.

  “What are you thinking about, Mils?” Bowie always knows when my brain is working overtime and I think he knows what I’m usually thinking about during these little episodes of thought. He doesn’t want to talk about Matt though, not ever, and I can understand that. Not only did he lose his best friend, but that friend betrayed him by virtually destroying his sister.

  “Nothing much,” I always say and lift his hand to kiss it gently. “Anyway, I thought you had something you needed to do?”

  “I do,” he answers quietly, then pulls back the hand that was inside of mine. I turn onto my back to see where he’s going, but he doesn’t make a move to go anywhere. Instead, he grabs my left hand and pushes a diamond ring onto my finger. I stare at it in awe for a second or two. It’s beautifully simple, if not a huge surprise to me. We have talked about marriage like it is the inevitable future for us, but we always said it would only happen after we had graduated.

  “Will you?” I turn to see him looking at me with a combination of love and hope. My obvious grin makes him smile back at me, right before we seal our new fate with a warm and all-encompassing kiss.

  Bowie

  Well, I am on cloud fucking nine this morning! I always knew Millie and I would end up engaged at some point, for I’ve never had to worry about her devotion to me, nor mine to her. However, I half expected her to say we are too young, or we need to work off some of our student debt, but, like always, she shocked me by saying yes. She can’t stop looking at her ring and always with an excited giggle. I have to admit it feels a little weird seeing her wearing it, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  The busy breakfast room is full of guests from the wedding, but I can’t say I know even half of them. Millie homes in on the table where she wants us to sit, right beside the people who mean the most to us. Grant, Sam, and Gabe are drinking coffee and tucking into their food already, with smiles and bloodshot eyes from a heavy night before. I can hear the gents’ croaky, drank-too-much, and went-to-bed-too-late voices from where I’m standing, and can’t wait to go and join them.

  As we approach, Millie stays cheekily quiet about our news, so I decide to play along too, waiting to see how long it takes for them to notice. We take our seats and begin pouring our drinks from various pots on the table, relishing in the warm liquid that’s trying its best to make us feel well again. Millie grimaces over the mountain of food on my plate, but I take it in with gusto, trying desperately to soak up some of the alcohol from last night’s celebrations. Meanwhile, the table remains oblivious to the sparkling rock on her left hand.

  In fact, it takes them a full ten minutes to notice the diamond weighing down on Millie’s finger, and when they finally do, Sam screams, causing half the room to look over with wide eyes and a slight wince over their post drunk headaches. I silently apologize to everyone, just as the guys get up and shake my hand enthusiastically.

  “Fancy being a best man again?” I ask Gabe who pretends to think about it for all of five seconds, before high-fiving me.

  Grant, my new brother-in-law, gets up and hugs me, which is still a little awkward. I’ve quickly learned that he’s quite an emotional dude, so just roll with it.

  “Aren’t you guys brother and sister-in-law?” Gabe points his finger between me and Millie, complete with a teasing smirk on his face.

  “No, I don’t think so,” Millie replies pensively, “I’m Sam’s sister-in-law and Bowie is Grant’s brother- in-law, but I don’t think we’re anything like that.”

  “I don’t know!” Gabe taunts us, so I give him the finger while Mils just shrugs her shoulders, completely fine with whatever we are, so long as we’re together.

  “So, guess it will be your turn to get engaged and married next, huh, Gabe?” Sam grins just as cheekily at him. “I have plenty of friends who liked what they saw yesterday. Every girl likes a man in uniform!”

  Gabe coughs loudly and looks a little horrified by the notion of marriage, before breaking into a guilty-but-not-that-guilty smile.

  “Yeah, one is still in my bed!”

  “Oh, you didn’t?!” Sam scolds at the same time as her new husband emits a chuckle.

  “Anyway, how do you know I’m not marri
ed already?” Gabe asks, trying to look serious about such an idea.

  Sam looks thoroughly unimpressed, but I can’t help grinning at him. He’s what I could easily have ended up like had it not been for Millie. Though, I wouldn’t trade places with him for the world, not when I have Millie, my match.

  “Are you?” Millie asks him deadpan, already knowing the answer.

  “No, neither do I ever intend to be!” he replies, grinning sweetly back at her. “Anyway losers, I need to get going. Bags to pack, women to evict from my bed, you know.”

  We all wave him off when he saunters off and out the room, winking at the pretty receptionist as he exits.

  “One hundred big ones say he’s married before he’s thirty!” Grant grins before slapping two envelopes on top of the table.

  “I’ll take that bet,” I slap his hand, taking on said bet. Not because I believe he won’t ever marry, but because I know he’ll take his sweet time trying to find the perfect girl. “Wedding gifts?” I jut my chin over towards the envelopes he’s just laid out.

  “Something like that,” he says on a heavy sigh, then turns serious as he turns to look sadly towards his sister. “They’re from Dad.”

  “Oh,” she sneers.

  Millie and Grant have a relationship of sorts with their mother, but their Dad never even bothered to try and crawl back from where he had gone with them. I think he gave up before he even tried. Their mother told us he had had another son with his new wife, who is also half his age. That was quite the fun day when Grant and Millie found out that little gem. I took her to a shooting range where she got a perfect score. I was both proud and turned on.

  “Two checks,” he says bluntly and looks at them grimly. “One is to pay off your student debt, the other is for mine. No letter, no card, just a check with a post-it note.”

  “Charming,” she mutters quietly but with a hint of sadness which she is unable to hide. I know this is cutting her up more than she’d care to admit, so I am on her before she breaks any more than she already has.

  “Well, yeah,” Grant shrugs. “I don’t want mine; you can have it.”

  “What?! No!” Millie says shrilly, upsetting all the other hung-over guests once again. “Grant, think of what this could do for you both!”

  “That man disowned me to the entire world. He never even talked to me about it, he just did it, so any attempts at trying to be a father are out of the question!” he argues with determination in his eye. “But I do get to say where it goes. Sam and I have talked about it and we both agreed that you and Bowie should have it. Take it, please, for me?”

  Millie rolls her eyes at her brother for using the old ‘for me’ part in his speech, two words that are bound to get her to do what he wants her to. She sighs, pouts, then slaps her hand over the envelopes before slowly scooping them up. Grant’s salacious grin taunts her for giving into him with such ease. I can tell she would berate him for it if it wasn’t for the fact, she now possesses the ability to pay off her debts as well as put down a deposit on a house of her own. You can’t really bitch about a person who has just helped you get onto the property ladder.

  “You know I’m not happy about this, don’t you?” She points her finger half-heartedly at him, but his grin remains firmly in place when he reaches out for Sam’s hand and relaxes in his own victory.

  About an hour later, I’m loading the car up so Millie and I can get home. It’s a long way back and we both have early classes tomorrow. Plus, I love nothing more than chilling on a Sunday afternoon with my girl. Gabe catches me before he drives off on his bike. We both know this will probably be the last time I see him before he leaves for his next deployment, and, for the first time, I have a real sense of dread over it. He’s my best friend; I can’t afford to lose another one.

  “Congratulations!” He shakes my hand and smiles a smile which tells me he knows I’m afraid for him, but he’ll be ok. “Look after her, she’s kind of special.”

  “I know,” I close the gap to give him one of those awkward man hugs that have you shifting your gaze from one another for a little while afterward. “Lap it up, dude,” I joke as we stand in this manish embrace, “not a lot of pussy where you’re going.”

  “Are you implying you are pussy? Because you’re fucking ugly if you are!” He breaks away from me but keeps his eyes focused, determined to say his farewell as quickly as he possibly can. “Anyway, you’d be surprised!”

  “Take care, Gabe,” I say with a more serious tone of voice, “don’t lose an arm or anything!”

  “I’ll try not to,” he laughs. “I’ve said goodbye to the others, so I’m gonna go. I hate long dramatic farewells. See you when I see you!”

  He pats my back quickly and gets onto his bike, where he throws me one last grin before revving the engine and saluting me as he attacks the gravel driveway at speed.

  I watch him get smaller and smaller, unflinching until Millie’s arms slide around me from behind. I spin around to face her and kiss her as urgently as if it were her going away, not that I’m letting her do that ever again. She frowns over my brooding features but follows my line of sight to the bike speeding down the country road and smiles softly in understanding.

  “You ready to go, Mr Phillips?”

  “Yeah,” I grin back, “the soon-to-be Mrs Phillips.”

  “That’s if I take your name,” she teases, then breaks away from our hug. “Amelia Phillips? Too many ‘l’s,” she says, looking away as if in deep contemplation. I feign shock and horror, but in all honesty, I’d let her do whatever she wanted.

  “Not that I really care what I’m called, so long as it’s your name on the marriage certificate.”

  We kiss across the central console before I rub my thumb over the rock on her finger.

  “Right back at you, Fridge! Let’s go home.”

  Acknowledgements

  When I wrote this story, I changed it so many times because it deals with such sensitive themes, and the last thing, I wanted to do was misrepresent the characters. I asked my amazing beta readers to give me honest feedback, which being the terrific people that they are, they more than did for me. I sincerely hope I have portrayed the characters, their stories, and their emotions in such a way the reader has some understanding for their actions and thoughts.

  First of all, a huge amount of thanks has to go to Candice and Carol Du Toit from Cactus Buzz who have helped with editing, cover design, and marketing. The mother and daughter team made my amazing front cover, edited the manuscript, and provided answers to my never-ending questions. Thank you so much for your help and support!

  Thank you to the community of writers and readers out there who have answered questions, read my work, given me advice, and shared my work. Thank you to all of you!

  To my beta readers, Liz Rogers, Tanya Caruso, Nikki Paris (author of All Right, Kid and Of Course, Cutie) and, of course, mama Sue, who all took the time to read this book during the early stages. Just to have someone read my work and offer their opinion is always so empowering for me. I sincerely appreciate you offering me your time, support, and advice.

  I must also thank my poor, suffering husband for supporting me through my new obsession with writing. Not only has he had to live with my reading habit, which is becoming more and more consuming, but also has the added bonus of losing me to my own works of fiction. Know that I love you dearly, as well as our two beautiful girls, and appreciate all the encouragement you have given me.

  Finally, but most importantly, thanks to everyone who has taken a chance on my novel. I started writing as a hobby, never for one minute thinking I would have the courage to do anything with my work. I hope it hasn’t disappointed and that you may take a chance to read some of my upcoming releases. Thank you so much again.

  Let’s connect!

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  Other works by Taylor K. Scott:

  Learning Italian

  A romantic comedy, which is available now on Kindle Unlimited

  Coming in Autumn/Winter 2021:

  My Best Friend

  Giveaway Novella

  Coming in 2022:

  Mayfield Trilogy

  A dark, suspense romance. All three books are written and will be released within the year! (I wouldn’t leave you hanging).

  Gabe’s Book

  Yes, the badass, sexy boy biker has got his own book. He’s not getting away from love that easily! Check out a small excerpt from his book below the prologue for my next release, ‘My Best Friend’, which begins on the following page.