Matthew Del Negro - 10,000 NOs
Page 5
—ChipTaylor
TonyBlauer,theself-defenseexpertImentionedinChapter2,sharedastorywithmeon 10,000NOsthatdescribed thisveryphenomenon.HewasteachingSpecialOpsMilitaryForcestacticalmovesinremovingthethreatofa loadedweaponatcloserangeincombat.Whenoneoftheoperatorscontinuedtotakeslightlylongerthaneveryone elsetodisarmthegun,Blauerwasperplexed.Whileasplitsecondmaynotsoundlikealongtime,inthiscaseitwas thedifferencebetweenlifeanddeath.WhenBlauerhonedinonwhatthisoperatorwasdoing,themanbecame defensive.Afterobservinghimrepeatedly,Blauerrealizedthissoldierwastakingextrastepsthatwereaddingthe unwantedtimetothemaneuver.Itwasonlythen,afterBlauerpressedtheissue,thattheoperatorrevealedthathe hadbeenaformerJudoWorldChampion.Itturnedoutthathewasunawareoftheextrastepshewastaking becausetheyhadbecomeinstinctiveafteryearsofextensivetraining.Instinctislearnable.
PerhapsthemostfamousexampleofinstinctinfilmhistorycentersonMarlonBrandowhileshootingascenewith EvaMarieSaintintheclassic1954film OntheWaterfront.Brandoplaysatoughex-boxerwhoisnowbarely makingendsmeetbyfindingsparseworkatthedocksasalongshoreman.Inonescene,heandSaintarewalking throughaparkinHoboken,NewJersey,asaromanceisbuddingbetweentheircharacters.Inthemiddleofone take,Saintaccidentallydroppedherwhiteglovetotheground.Ratherthancall“cut,”directorEliaKazanletthe sceneplayout.Withoutbreakingstride,Brandosquatteddown,pickedupthedaintywhitegloveand,asthey continuedtotalk,attemptedtostretchthegloveoverhisownbigmeathook.Asthescenecontinues,thissimple gestureofhisbighandnotfittingintoherdaintyglovesaysmoreabouttheirentiretragiclovestorythancouldhave beenaccomplishedwithtenpagesofdialogue.Brando'sswiftandinstinctivegestureshowsusthatthesetwowon't survivetogetherbecausethey'refromdifferentsidesofthetrack.It'sheldupasoneofthegreatestscenesin cinematichistory.
Brandoadaptedinthemoment.Hedidn'tstoporcomplainthatitwasn'taperfecttake.Heincorporatedthe
“mistake,”andindoingso,hiswillingnesstoallowthechaosofreallifetoenterthescenemadeitmoreauthentic thantheyevercouldhaveplannedaheadoftime.Filmmakersandactorscallthisa“happyaccident,”andthegreats actuallylookfortheseopportunities.Lesserartistsmighthavecalled“cut,”choosingtoremaininthesafetyoftheir preplannedideas.LegendslikeKazan,Brando,andSaintknewthevalueofinstinctandthat'showtheygaveus moviemagic.
Whilesomepeoplelookattopperformerswhohaverepeatedlyproducedincredibleresultsunderpressureasbeing differentfromtheaverageperson,thesesuperstarsarenotexemptfromfeelingnervous.Everytimetheytakethe fieldorthestage,theyaretakingthesameriskasyouandI:theyareputtingthemselvesinapositionwherefailure isanoption.Thequalitythattheyhavecultivatedbetterthanmost,however,istheabilitytofocusandremain relaxedwhileundersaidpressureandtorelyontheirinstincts.Itisnoeasytask,andsometimesevenincredible trainingcannotsolvetheproblemofperformanceanxiety.Itisapsychologicalbattleinwhichfearneverhelpsyou unlessitistransformedintopositiveenergythatwelcomesriskratherthanhidingfromit.
TopThreeTakeaways
1. Performanceisabouttherelationshipbetweentheperformer,theirthoughts,andtheaudienceorcrowd.
Regardlessofavenue'ssize,thereisalwayspotentialforperformancemeltdownstooccur.
2. Evensuperstarperformersexperiencetheterrifyingfearofbombingorfailingtoexecute.Wemustall learntomanageourfearsandchannelthatenergytobenefittheperformance.
3. Trainingandpreparationarenecessarycomponentstoperformance,butoncetheperformanceisin progressitisallaboutbeinginthemomentandtrustingyourinstincts.
CHAPTER4
DisciplineandTraining
“Untilyou'recrystalclearonwhatyou'rewillingtogiveupforyourgoals,you'llneverachievethem.”
— CraigBallantyne,Author/Speaker
ThePerfectDayFormula
Whileitmustbeadmittedthattraining,evenifitisintenseandfocused,willnotalwaysbringhomeagoldmedalor createanOscar-worthyperformance,itisanecessarycomponenttoexcelinanyfield.Itcancomeinmanydifferent forms,dependingonyourgoalsandstyle,buttraininginstillsdiscipline,anddisciplinebreedsconsistency.
TheGameIsWonorLostBeforeYouEvenTaketheField
ThementalgameI'veleaneduponasanactorwashonedoveryearsandyearsasanathlete.Puttingupwith,and playingthrough,hardshipsandphysicalpainisnecessaryifyouwanttobeacontenderbythetimeplayoffsroll around.ShowinguptwiceadaytofootballpracticeinthemiddleofAugustwhentheblisteringsunwasbeating down,knowingclassmateswereatthebeach,myteammatesandIdevelopedgrit.Ourjobasathletes,whichisthe sameformeasanactororfor anyoneattemptingtoattain anygoal,wastotapintoourpassiononaregularbasis byremainingfocusedonourlong-termgoal.Thisishowwegotourselvesthroughthetemporarypain.Lateintoa footballseason,orearlyinalacrosseseason,whentheEastCoastweatherwascoldandwet,wefoundwaysto continuetrudgingthroughbecausethatwaswhatwasnecessarytoperformwellongamedaysandremainstanding attheendofourseason.
ThebestactorsIknowdonotjustrehearsewheninspirationstrikes.Thebesthaveadisciplinethatisenviable.Most havespecificregimensoraparticularapproachtotheirwork,butthesecanbeasvariedanduniqueastheactors themselves.Thequalitythat allofthempossessisaconstantquesttobebetterthantheywereyesterdayandto learnfromthosewhoarebetterthanthem.Sincetheadventofthesmartphone,myclosefriendChrisMessina,who isoneofthemostdisciplinedandtalentedactorsIknow,hassentmeasteadystreamoftextswithlinkstoarticles aboutandinterviewswithlegendaryactorswelove.Whenanewactorarrivesuponthescenewithagreat performance,IamsuretohearaboutitfromMessinabecauseheiseternallyobsessedwithmasteringthecraftof acting.ThesetextsserveasadailyremindertomethatthereisalwayssomeoneouttherefromwhomIcanlearn.
Theypushmetoknowthat,somewhere,someoneisworkingharderthanmeorjustpossessesmoretalent.IfIlose mydiscipline,Ilosemyedge.Andifthathappens,itislesslikelythatIwillbeabletoputfoodonthetableona consistentbasis.
“Agreatfallacyregardingprogressisthatitisdefinedbyconstantforwardmotioninthesamedirection.”
—AlisonLevine, NewYorkTimes BestsellingAuthor, OntheEdge:LeadershipLessonsfromEverestandOther ExtremeEnvironments
Whilethereisacompetitivespiritlinkedtochasingsomething,otherpeople'ssuccessesshouldnotdeemour accomplishmentstobenullandvoid.Instead,thecompetitionisinternal,whichiswhytheelitearecompeting againstthebestversionofthemselves.Whetherit'sMichaelJordan,MerylStreep,orChristianBale,underneaththe pursuitliespassion.Itisaferventquesttofindsomethingthatflowsinawaythatcannotbegrabbedorhandled.
And,whilethebestcomeclosest,theyarethefirsttoagreethatthereisnosuchthingasperfectionandourworkis neverdone.Themanifestationofthisinternallycompetitivepursuitcomesintheformoftraininganddiscipline.
BuySpeed
EveryhighachieverI'vesatdownwith,regardlessoftheirprofession,agreesthatratherthantrytoreinventthe wheel,itiswisertostandontheshouldersofgiantsinthepursuitofexcellence.Thisisusuallydonebyfinding coaches,teachers,andmentorswhohavebeenwhereyouwanttogoorhelpedothersachievetheirgoals.Whilethe bestversionofthisisaflesh-and-bloodmentor,youcanalsoeasilyfindbooksandinterviewsfromlegendsyou admire.Inthisdayandage,wherevirtuallyanythingcanbefoundontheInternet,ourheroes,rolemodels,and mentorsareonlyaclickaway.Withtheadventofsocialmedia,notonlycanyou studythegiantsinyourfieldorfind tapeof
themdoingwhattheydo,youcanmanytimesinteractwiththemastheyhavebecomeincreasinglyaccessible throughblogs,liveposts,mastermindgroups,andweekendretreats.Theexcusethatyouhavenoaccessnolonger holdsup.
Thereisanepidemic,however,thatimpedesthegrowthofmanypeople.Ironically,itisperhapsevenmore prevalenttodaythaninthepast,despitethefactthateverythingisaccessible.Thisepidemicresultsfromthelackof understandingthatthereisadifferencebetweensomethingbeing in formationalversus trans formational.
Informationalmeansthatyoucanreadallthebooks,listentoallthepodcasts,andgotoalltheseminarsyoucan affordandstillwalkawayunchanged.Transformationalmeansyouare implementingtheprinciplesyou'relearning aboutand applyingthemtoyourlife.Thisiswhymentorsaresovaluable.Becausetheycangiveyouhands-on accountabilityandallowyouto“buyspeed,”as 10,000NOspodcastguestSharranSrivatsaadescribesit.
Srivatsaaknowsaboutbuyingspeedbecause,withthehelpofmentors,hetookTelesProperties, Inc.magazine's fastestgrowingrealestatebrokerageinCalifornia,from$350millioninannualrevenueto$3.5billioninrevenuein
justfiveyears.NotonlydidSrivatsaalearnspeed-hacksfromCEOshesoughtoutandpaidforaccesstotheir knowledge,butheimplementedeverythinghelearnedbyinstillinganincredible,company-widecultureof discipline.Withmonthly,weekly,anddailypractices,Srivatsaawasabletoteachthespeedhehadboughtand increasehiscompany'svaluetentimesinatimeframethatpreviouslyseemedimpossible.
Talkingthetalkasifyouareanexpertiseasy.Listeningtoanexpert,likeSrivatsaa,isinspiring.Itisalsoeasy, becauseitdoesn'tcostyouanything.Actuallyapplyingtheselessonstoyourownlifeisthebiggestchallengebecause itrequiresdiscipline.Disciplineimpliesthatthereisacosttoattainingthingsthataresoughtafterbymany.Itmay costyoutime,money,freedom,oranycombinationofalloftheseplusmore,butitwillcostyou.Disciplinecarries withitasacrificebecauseinordertodoonething,youmayneedtocutoutmanyotherthings.Alackofdiscipline, alongwithself-limitingbeliefsthatIwasunawareI'dbeencarryingaroundwithme,iswhyIhavefailedmanytimes inmylife.Butratherthanlaceratemyselfformyfailures,IwillsharethisonestoryofasuccessIearnedthrough discipline.
IfYou'reGonnaTalktheTalk,YaGottaWalktheWalk
Afteralongdroughtofunemployment,IfoundmyselfintheenviablepositionofwinningtheroleofJasonAlan RossontheNetflixcomedyseries HugeinFrance.WhatIlovedaboutthisrolewasthechangemycharacterhadto gothroughfromthebeginningoftheseasontotheend.Whenhefirstappearsonscreen,Jasonmighterroneously bepeggedasanalphamalebullywhoknowshiswayaroundagymbuthasnoawarenessofhisownvulnerability.
Butbyepisodetwo,histoughandconfidentexteriorbeginstopeelawaywithsuchspeedthatwesoonrealizethisis amanwhoseentirepersonaisbuiltuponahouseofcards.Heisanythingbutsecure.
Afterreadingtheentireeight-episodeseason,Iknewtherewasonlyonewaytofullypulloffthisportrayal.Itwould requireincredibledisciplinetogetitdone,butgiventhefactthatJason'sidentitywassotiedupwithhisexternal appearance,IknewthatmyperformancewouldsufferifIdidn'tgetmyselfsignificantlymorefitthanIwasatthe timeIwascast.Whilemyownworkoutanddietregimenisrelativelyconsistent,toplayJasonIneededtobeona differentlevel.Withhisactingcareerinthepits,Jasonhasbeenrelegatedtobeingaglorifiedbabysittertohis girlfriend'sson.Hisprimarytaskistomentorthisspoiledteenagerthroughamodelingcareermostlybykeepinghis gymroutineandveryspecificfoodintakeontrack.Inexchangeforhisefforts,hereceivesasmallstipendandthe privilegetokeeplivinginhisgirlfriend'smansion.HislotinlifeisprettypatheticandthewayIsawit,hisphysique wasoneoftheonlythingshehadgoingforhimself.NotonlydidIhaveatargetbodycomposition,butalsoaspecific datebywhichIneededtohitit.ThedayIwascast,Iwasgivenashootingschedule,whichincludedtwocomical—
mostlynaked—sexscenesIhadtoshootinjust22days.
“Ican'tletJasonAlanRossraisemyson.HeworshipsthisJasonguy.Hewaxes,hetans.HowcanIcompete?”
Gad, HugeinFrance
Whilethewaxingofmychest,stomach,andarmswasalmostaspainfulasitwasfunny,the realworklayinthe adherencetoatrainingandeatingregimen.MyfriendandtopstrengthcoachJayFerruggiaassignedmetoasix-day-a-weektrainingprogram,butthatwasnotmuchdifferentfrommynormalroutine.Contrarytowhatmost friendsandacquaintancesthoughtwhentheysawmebegintotransform,therealchallengewasnotinthegymbut theeatingregimen.FerruggiaisoneofthemostdeliberateandspecificpeopleIknow,whichishowhemaintains hisincrediblephysiqueyear-roundinhismid-forties.Itwasnosurprise,therefore,whenhetweakedmyweight traininganddialedinonmydiettothepointwhereIknewwhatI'dbeeatingeverydayforeverymealforthenext 22days.JustbecauseIexpectedit,didnotmakeitanyeasiertoexecute.
IttookalotofdisciplineformenottoabandonFerruggia'sprogramwhenfriends,seeingmeshedweight,beganto sayIwasgetting“tooskinny.”Iftheyhadknownmyhistoryofnotbeingabletopackonthepoundsandgainmuscle inhighschoolsports,theywouldhaverealizedthatI hatetheword“skinny”whenit'susedtodescribeme.Themere mentionofevenatemporaryweightlossformeisprobablywhathasthwartedanypreviousattemptslikethisone fromsucceeding.Ironically,Jay'splanwasn'tstarvingmeatall.Iwaseatingfourmealsaday,butthetiming,the foodcombinations,thewaterintake,andthetrainingstylewereproducingdifferentresults.Oneofthebiggest lessonsIlearnedthroughthisexperiencewasthatalargeamountofpreparationandplanningmitigatesthereliance onwillpower.Preparingmymealsinbulkaheadoftimesotheywouldbereadyandwaitingformeattherighttimes madeitautomatic.Mywhinybrainwasnotgiventhechancetochimeinandclamorformore,ordifferent,food.
BecauseItrustedFerruggiaandourcollectivevisionofwhereIneededtobebyday22,Imaintainedmydiscipline.
Havingthetargetsoclearinmymindwasinstrumentaltokeepingmefocuseddespitetheattemptsofmyinner critictosabotageme.
Thelittlehacksanddetailsthatmakeanendeavorlesschallengingarefunnyandsurprising.HadIbeenableto affordaprivatechef,thismighthavebeenaloteasier,butthatwasnotthecase.Instead,Ipurchasedslightly higher-endTupperwarecontainersthatinspiredmemorethanthecheaperoneswetypicallyusedinourhouse.
Whilethismaysoundnonsensical,theadditionalprideIwastakinginmyfoodprep,evendowntothecontainers thatwerebeingusedtoholdit,helpedmetobeevenmoreinvestedinmymission.Iwouldalsopurchasechicken breastinbulkand,muchtomywife'samusementandannoyance,filltheentiregrillwithittoprepforseveraldays'
worthofmeals.Iwouldsteamlargeamountsofspinachandcooklargepotsofwhitejasminerice,theonlycarbI wasallowed,sothatIwouldn'twastetimeindividuallypreparingeachmeal.Theoperationwasastoundingandeye-openingandremindedmewhyIdidn'ttakethetimetodothisyear-round.
Theresults,though,weremorethanphysical.ItextedFerruggiashirtlessselfieseveryfewdayssohecouldchartmy progressandtweaktheprogramifneedbe(hewasontheroad,asheoftenis,sothisishowhekepttrackofmy
progress).Whilewewerebothseriousaboutthisjointmission,wehadsomelaughsovertheselfies,mostlyatmy expense.Thebeautywasthatthechangeswerenotonlyoccurringonthesurface.Idiscoveredthatthe actionsIwas takingtaughtmemoreaboutmycharacterthananyamountofreadingIcouldhavedoneasresearch.BecauseIwas actuallydoingwhatJasonwoulddo,IbegantohavefirsthandexperiencesthatgavemeinsightintoJason'sself-involvedpsyche.IwouldlatershootsceneswhereJasonisdrinkingproteinshakesandchatteringincessantlyabout hisdietthatsoundedfrighteninglysimilarto
theinteractionsIwasnowhavingwithmywifeasaresultofthis obsessiveregimen.
“Viv:See?Thisiswhyyoucan'thandleacting.Yougotoofarwithit.
Jason:Thereisnosuchthingasgoingtoofar!!!”
HugeinFrance ,Netflix
Season1:Ep.4,EpisodeQuatre
OnesuchinteractioncameneartheFourthofJuly,asweweregettingreadytogotoourfriends'houseforadayof swimmingandbarbecuing.Unbeknownsttomywife,Ihadsnuckmyprepackagedchickenbreastandspinach-filled containerintothebottomofourbeachbag.Findingit,shelookedatme,incredulous.“You'renotseriouslytaking yourownfoodtotheirhouse,areyou?”Ireplied,“What?!ThisiswhatIneedtodo!”Anyonewhohasseentheseries willremembermanysuchsceneswhereJason,aself-proclaimedmethodactor,isvehementlydefendinghisself-involvedactionstohisgirlfriend,Viv,claimingthattheyareanecessaryingredientforhisart.Throughdiscipline andtraining,Ihadfoundmycharacter'svoiceandmannerisms.Asonefriendjokinglyribbedmeafterseeinga sceneliketheoneabove,“Cutsprettyclosetothebone,huh?”
WhileIhopethisstoryisfunnyandentertainingforyou,therearemanylessonswithinitaboutthepowerof disciplineandtraining,andhowthatpowercanmanytimesexceedourexpectations.Ihaveabrother,aswellas manyfriendsfromcollegeandadultlife,whoareinthefinanceindustry.Jokesareoftenmadeabouthowdifferent heisfrommysisterandmedespitethefactthatweareblood-related.Thegeneralthrustofthejokesisthatheis extremelydetail-orientedanduber-disciplined,whereasIcanbemore“gowiththeflow.”Whilethereareplusesand minusestobeingeithermorestructuredorlooser,Ibelievethereisaneedforboth.I'dventuretosaythatallthree ofushavedifferentcombinationsofbothsides.Butwhilepeopleperceiveartiststobe“touchyfeely”Ihavefound thatthegreats,whileincrediblysensitiveandopentospontaneity,arealsoincrediblydisciplinedandattentiveto details.Trainingistheconcreteprocessinwhichthosedetailsareadheredtoandsystemized.