Book Read Free

Selected Poems

Page 9

by Thomas Lux


  once who said he’d poison

  birds but he didn’t want me

  to write about it. I have not

  until now, and now starts up

  that black genius, the crow,

  who is answered by the blue

  bully, the ubiquitous, the utterly

  American, jay.

  The Republic of Anesthesia

  I don’t feel anything today, my country-

  men and -women, I’m numbed by 21 liters

  of Novocain, I feel nothing

  from my cowlick to the final ridge of my big toe’s nail; my tear

  ducts dry-walled, not a sob

  or the sigh of an ant left in me this autumn,

  another autumn

  in which the world hates itself so much.

  Man ties severed head of another man

  to the tail of a dog.

  One frog eats a smaller frog.

  Wisdom teeth, instead of being yanked,

  evolve to wisdom fangs.

  All day: arid hairsplitting, cheese-paring.

  One bank buys another bank

  and the little rubber thimble

  on the teller’s thumb – that stays the same.

  Certainly my god

  can rip the heart from your god’s chest

  and will, god willing, with my help.

  A trillion-milligram hammer,

  the arc of its swing

  wide as a ring

  of Saturn, hits us first

  on the right temple,

  then on the left. Good night, good night,

  lights out! bark the stars.

  Man Pedaling Next to His Bicycle

  (for Laure-Anne Bosselaar)

  Look at him go

  nowhere, his feet whirring, furious. He bends forward to cut

  drag, the flair

  of his hat shooting the air

  over it and down its back slope

  for propulsion. Up hills

  he’s on his toes,

  stands and pushes – it’s slower

  than usual going nowhere next to his sleek, ultralight,

  green racer, which is upright,

  kickstand unemployed; unridden.

  Ring-ring, goes my bell, he says.

  Fly in the wind, handlebars’ white streamers, he says.

  Flapflapflapflapflap goes the ace

  of spades in the spokes.

  When the road turns downhill he pedals ahead

  of his bicycle until it catches him,

  but never passes him, at the bottom

  which opens to the salt flats, the listless,

  grayish-white rest of the ride,

  the long, level, parching road.

  He pedals

  beside his bicycle, pedals

  and pedals,

  wondering where the mountains went,

  the pastures, swing sets, the humans tending

  to human things. Where did they

  go – that which, those whom, he was meant to glide past,

  or love, on his journey?

  Her Hat, That Party on Her Head

  I saw first, and only, her hat. I saw neither face nor shoulder.

  No lawn or garden nearby.

  No white tablecloths, champagne flutes,

  or trays of treats pierced by toothpicks

  that fit

  with her hat

  at this place: a side street in a village in a country

  across a border. Looking, with bad directions,

  for a bus, brought me here.

  Behind a rectory, a priest, in his robe, read

  a newspaper, leaning back in a chair

  with his bare

  feet on a table. I’ve never seen

  such white feet!

  I saw also: dust, stained laundry on lines, two roosters.

  Some sagging wires hung above.

  Then, on the other side of a fence, her hat rising

  and dropping with each step.

  She walked the fence’s length and disappeared.

  She returned and walked the fence again.

  She was walking a circuit, pain’s little looping course.

  She walked slowly

  and too often her head tipped forward: her eyes turned down

  beneath the garden, the birthday party,

  on her head. Who is gone so long from her?

  Beneath the bougainvillea and lily,

  beneath fuchsia’s little lamps,

  beneath the yellows and greens and blues,

  whose absence

  made her wear this hat

  to help, but fail, to let this absence go?

  God Particles

  God explodes, supernovas, and down upon the whole planet

  a tender rain of Him falls

  on every cow, ladle, leaf, human, ax handle, swing set.

  We rush from our houses,

  farmers standing, saved, in the rain after years of drouth.

  Like snowflakes, each God particle is different,

  though unlike snowflakes,

  are warm and do not melt

  but are absorbed by the skin.

  Every human, every creature, rock, tomato on earth

  is absorbing God!

  Who just asked: Why did God explode?

  And why ask this far into the story?

  I believe He did it to Himself: nobody

  walks into God’s house, His real house, on a hill

  in Beulah Land, nobody

  walks into His house wearing a suicide belt.

  No plane flies high enough to drop a bomb on His house.

  No one will trespass

  to plant an IED in His driveway.

  Why did God do it?

  Guilt because He sent His son

  to do a job He should have done Himself?

  I don’t think so. God knows,

  there’s no reason for God to feel guilt.

  I think He was downhearted, weary, too weary

  to be angry anymore, or vengeful,

  or even forgiving, and He wanted each of us,

  and all the things we touch

  and are touched by,

  to have a tiny piece of Him,

  though we are unqualified

  for even the crumb of a crumb.

  Their Feet Shall Slide in Due Time

  Hard, balanced in their stance, the truth setting the eye

  to the rifle scope’s crosshairs, where X,

  where all evil, lies.

  Steady the hand,

  pull back the pointing finger (squeeeeze,

  don’t jerk, the trigger, each century’s

  manual says). A man’s a problem? Kill

  the man. Problem’s gone. Stalin said something like that,

  or was it Gandhi? Deuteronomy

  says, in a book of metaphors, sooner

  or later the wicked, the venal,

  shall face a steep, greasy hill whose fortress

  they cannot take. Their feet shall slide

  sooner or later: the fall, the reward, uh-huh, the fiery lake,

  or the happy place.

  Invective

  Boils, pocks, and blood blisters, I pray you suffer them,

  your goat grow fevered

  and leak the yellow milk, I pray moles claw holes

  in your head, stones be always in your shoe, fire

  in your neck, slop in your cooking pot.

  I pray there be rubber bullets in your gun,

  I pray your daughter marry for love,

  I pray your son wish to be a poet.

  I pray your mother take a young lover in front of your father,

  I pray it be revealed you keep your toothpicks in your beard,

  I pray you be turned down

  if you register to vote, I pray your wife fucks you

  in the ass, I pray all your lug-nut-dumb offscourings

  disdain you, I pray your next breath,

  and each one thereafter, fills your
lungs

  with the stink of your corpse.

  Jesus’ Baby Teeth

  for sale: left front canine (C), two upper

  right molars (I, J), and his two front teeth (E, F),

  which were all he wanted

  for Christmas. Stains,

  wear patterns on molars indicate a diet

  of fish, coarse bread, and watery wine.

  Also for sale: the right forefinger

  of Saint Thomas, the one that plugged the hole

  in Jesus’ side, which action was wasted because

  he didn’t die (or, he did die

  but then arose,

  which is enough like not dying

  to be not dying!) anyway. Also

  a swatch of blue from the sleeve

  of Mary’s robe where you-know-who

  laid his downy head. We’re also offering

  a piece (6” x 8”) of the True Cross, which is signed

  by the other Mary,

  the one we love less

  for her heart of gold.

  Click on thumbnails for pictures of Jesus’ left thumbnail, lost in an accident

  by hammer, on the job.

  Its bright moon is half risen above the horizon

  but not one star

  in its cracked, blackened sky.

  How Difficult

  for the quadriplegics to watch

  the paraplegics play.

  How difficult the day

  the ventilator of one lung

  shut down, the heart’s monitor saying

  ta-thump, ta-thump, ta-thump

  and the screen showing aaaaaaaaaaaa,

  and the lady down the hall

  howling: My legs are on fire! My legs are on fire!

  How difficult the icy abstract of the wintry mind.

  How difficult the cracking of houses at their ruin.

  How difficult to mow an empty grave’s grass.

  How difficult to ride

  the landslide’s lip descendingly, to endure

  the day’s chop-logical drip-feed of lies,

  how difficult hearing

  God’s last scratchy – what did He say? – radio broadcast.

  What did He say

  about no more verbs

  in the future tense?

  Apology to My Neighbors for

  Beheading Their Duck

  First, it was an accident: I did not mean

  to sever his head. A book, or a being superior

  or Superior, did not command it thus.

  He’d gotten into the little yard we share.

  He stood as still as if he were made of cement,

  which, in fact, he was. Nevertheless, he was not meant

  to lose his head. So that I could lop it off,

  a text was not interpreted, though he was

  a heterodox duck – he wore a little blue hat.

  This color is proscribed for a duck’s hat.

  Otherwise: white duck, orange feet and beak.

  A decent duck, a cause-no-trouble duck.

  He weighed a hundred pounds, weighted down

  your car to get him here to his new home.

  Without his head, he weighs five pounds less.

  Without his head, broken at the neck,

  he’s a less impressive duck,

  but still I had no right to take it.

  It belonged to him,

  and he needed it, his head,

  as we, as all creatures, do,

  despite the swamp, the sump, thriving inside it.

  He did not belong to me,

  nor was he of my family.

  When I dropped a bag (rather than carry it

  down to the barrels beside the duck) of trash

  from my fourth-floor back porch,

  that’s what did it, clipped it clean off,

  for which I offer apologies and cash,

  but I must reiterate: a book

  did not tell me I had the right to do so,

  nor did I hear a voice,

  a promise, from a pearly place.

  I did it dumb and owe you fifty bucks!

  The Joy-Bringer

  breaks the light through the oak leaves at dawn.

  The joy-bringer injects the red bird’s red.

  The joy-bringer brings the green, lets the cup runneth over

  into a saucer, from which you can sip.

  Gives fish the river, the river the fish.

  If by two inches you avoid a piano

  falling on your head

  and later at the hospital fall in love with the doctor

  who removes a few splinters

  of ivory and black piano lacquer

  from your left calf: the joy-bringer

  arranged that. Also the chilled artesian water

  spilling from a pipe only two inches above the ground,

  from which you drank on your hands and knees,

  on a few boards or branches, you bowed in the muck and drank

  that sweet cold reaching-up,

  you drank among the skunk cabbage, ferns, a small brook

  at your back: again, guess what,

  the joy-bringer! In fact, let us praise

  the joy-bringer for these seven

  things: 1) right lung, 2) left lung, 3) heart, 4) left brain,

  5) right brain, 6) tongue, 7) the body to put them in.

  Thank you, joy-bringer!

  And thanky, thanky too for just-mown hay

  cut an inch from its roots

  to bleed its perfume into the air!

  The Happy Majority

  …before I join the great and, I believe, the happy majority.

  P.T. BARNUM

  Before I join the happy majority (though I doubt one member happy

  or unhappy) I have some plans: to discover several new species

  of beetle; to jump from a 100-foot platform

  into a pile – big enough

  to break my fall – of multicolored lingerie;

  to build a little heater

  (oh not to join the happy ones

  until some tasks are done)

  beside each tulip bulb to speed its bloom;

  to read 42,007 books (list available

  on request); to learn to read and/or write

  Chinese, CAT scans, Sanskrit, petroglyphs,

  and English; to catch a bigot

  (oh not to join the happy ones

  until some tasks are done)

  by the toe; to kiss

  the clavicle of (name available

  on request); to pay my respects, again,

  at the grave of John Keats; to abrogate

  my position in God’s nihilistic

  (oh not to join the happy ones

  until some tasks are done)

  dream; to hold my mother’s hand as she leaves this world;

  to lay my hand upon my father’s heart as he does likewise;

  and for my daughter to be glad I was her father as I exit, also

  (in a hundred years or so), from the conscious to the un-.

  Cliffs Shining with Rain

  ’Tis double death to drown in ken of shore.

  W.S.

  Why, in a sea storm, though near shore, on a ship shipping water,

  the mast cracked, why don’t

  sailors happily wreck

  on the beach, or even

  upon the rocks,

  and then swim – or wade – the few yards to shore,

  where one cannot drown?

  They want to sail home, certainly, not lose their cargo, sail home,

  not be marooned.

  No shore but their own will do.

  So all night they bail by bucket

  and pump, all hands, all night,

  because they know what I never

  will, I who can fear

  though not imagine

  drowning, I with no cargo

  to lose, and who’s never sailed under wind

  from a wharf where my m
other

  or wife or child stood. They know, the sailors know,

  in a mast-snapping storm, no matter how close to shore, they know

  that the waves and splintered timber, thrown

  against rocks, or reef, or even beach, drawn back and dashed again,

  are a bigger risk

  than bailing, bailing, throwing goats, anvils, horses overboard, in order to

  stand offshore, a mile or two, safe,

  in deep water until,

  at dawn, the wind swallows itself

  and there they are, the broken cliffs,

  shining with rain.

  The Shooting Zoo

  The giraffe can’t stand up anymore: he’s still tall

  but not tall enough. The silverback is bald,

  the zebra’s black stripes gray. There’s a virus at the zoo: the spring-

  bok can’t prong,

  the alligators wracked by cataracts,

  the last lion meowls like an auntie’s cat.

  The penguins walk as if they have a load in their pants!

  The vultures are eating sandwiches and plants!

  Something’s wrong with all the animals: the pandas obstreperous,

  the iguanas demand bananas, the loons

  are out of tune.

  What to do, what to do? Soon,

  whatever it is that’s deranging them

  will pass through their bars,

  across their moats,

  and then: our dogs and gold-

  fish, the little parakeet

  who pecks our lips

  so we may say it kisses us, soon

  they’ll start dropping too.

  Next: our children? grandma?

  The zookeepers don’t know what to do, so

  print some permits permitting men

  to bring their guns to the shooting zoo.

  Mole Emerging from Trench Wall,

  Verdun, 1916

  Doing his job, the mole, disturbed no doubt by the shaking

  and noisy dirt, but still digging blind,

  goes on with the only life he knows.

  He’s down there why? Eating worms? Roots?

  Having his mole-being, his mole-ness?

  So, doing his job, he digs, and emerges,

 

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