Merry Little Lies

by Addison Lloyd

  “It’s about people not being authentic. Pretending to be something they’re not,” Aaron said.

  I hit send already, but in that moment, I wasn't sure about telling him. He seemed to like me. If I told him who I was, maybe he wouldn’t.

  “You don’t seem too surprised. Did you know Carli had a trust fund?

  I stared at the three dots that appeared and disappeared on my phone. I’d obviously caught Carli by surprise.

  “Rob.”

  “What?”

  “Did you know Carli had a trust fund?”

  “Sorry, no. I had no idea. It wasn’t something she talked about.”

  His hands relaxed on the wheel. He seemed relieved.

  Wait. All this time, did he think I knew? Did he think I was dating Carli for her money?

  We both got quiet, but it wasn't one of those comfortable silences. It was one you wanted to do anything you could to stop. Except talk. I even thought about turning on the radio. But it wasn’t my vehicle, and the fancy controls were confusing. Maybe I should just start pushing buttons.

  “What are you guys doing for Christmas? Do you have big plans?” Aaron asked.

  “Next topic.”

  “Come on, Ce.” He glanced over at me, his eyes clear and bright. “Give me something.”

  I shook my head. I had no reason to open up to him. We didn't know each other, not really. And yet I was lying to him about who I was, so maybe I did owe him something.

  He didn’t say anything else. He just waited patiently for me work things through on my own.

  “Christmas is hard,” I said, finally. “Ever since Teddy died, it hasn't been the same. And Dad left last year on Christmas Eve.”

  “That must be hard.”

  “Did you ever lose anyone?” I wasn’t sure why I asked. But he looked like he understood.

  “My grandma died last year,” he said. “It wasn't unexpected, but we were really close.”

  “I remember that.” Carli had been devastated. It was weird to think they were related. I knew when this was all over, I’d be reexamining everything I’d knew about Carli, just to learn more about Aaron.

  “So do I. You didn’t make it to the funeral. Carli said you were coming and then you just weren’t there.”

  He sounded hurt, like I’d somehow let him down. Which was ridiculous. It had happened when Carli and Rob first started dating.

  “Carli asked me not to come.” I put my hand over his as it rested on his leg. It was the first time I’d reached out to him. “She thought it was too much pressure to put on a new relationship.”

  “Did you believe her?”

  “She hates for people to see her cry.”

  He nodded as if I’d confirmed his suspicion.

  “I wanted to be there.” I felt sick lying to him. Although, it wasn’t completely a lie. Rob had wanted to be there, but Carli wouldn’t budge. I squeezed his hand and let go. I needed out of this fake relationship like yesterday. I texted Carli again.

  The parking lot of the auto parts store was packed. At least packed for a small town on a Saturday morning. Aaron must've noticed my reluctance. He raised his eyebrow at me. “Ready?”

  “Yeah. Why don’t you stay in the car?”

  “Not happening.”

  “Aaron.”

  “Next topic.”

  I glared at him for using my words against me and got out of the car.

  The store was as busy as the cars outside indicated. And I knew most of the people in the place. Great. Why did I think this was a good idea? Aaron stuck to me like glue. I got some tape and then got in line to wait.

  “What about the starter thingy?” he asked.

  I bit my lip to keep from smiling. His ignorance was cute. “They keep them in the back.”

  “Oh.”

  He smiled at the lady behind us, but she just narrowed her eyes at him. People weren’t always the friendliest in small towns if you were a stranger.

  We finally reached the counter, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to do this. If only Aaron had stayed in the car.

  “Hey, Cian. What can I do ya for?”

  I could feel Aaron’s eyes on me, but I ignored him. I’d actually forgotten my name wasn’t Rob. “Hey, Leroy.” I explained what I needed, and he went to the back to get the parts.

  “Kee-an,” Aaron pronounced my name like it was a curse. “So, your nickname has a nickname?”

  I shrugged. What was one more lie to add to the many? But I was tired of lying. I'd come out years ago because I hated pretending to be straight and now here I was back in a different closet and not liking it one bit. I checked my text messages. The latest one from Carli made me want to throw my phone across the room.

  Carli: You promised you wouldn’t Ce.

  Ce: But Y?

  I tried to pretend Aaron wasn't watching my every move as I waited for her reply.

  Carli: It’s embarrassing. He’d never let me live it down. And u don’t have 2 see him again after today.

  I wanted to text back—what if I wanted to see him again? But Aaron was standing right there, and I couldn’t do that to Carli. I’d agreed to this. And it wasn’t my secret to tell.

  Ce: Fine.

  Leroy dropped the parts on the counter and started to ring them up. I felt like someone was twisting my in a knot. I put my phone in my back pocket so Aaron wouldn’t notice shaking my hands.

  “Okay, that’ll be $150.37.”

  I was short the full amount, but I’d already figured that out. Here was the tricky part. I leaned in closer, ignoring the restless people in line, and hoping Aaron wouldn’t hear me. “Is there any way I can charge part of it? I’ve got most of it.”

  He was already shaking his head before I finished speaking. I wanted to die right then. Did I really need a car? I could just leave Betsy to rot in Aunt Kay’s driveway.

  “I’m sorry, Cian. They won't let us do that anymore. Mr. Stuckey says he's tired of people not paying their charge.”

  “I always paid,” I could see it was no use, but I didn’t know what else to do.

  “He didn’t mean you, but he can’t just do it for some.”

  “I get paid on Friday.” I sounded pathetic. Why couldn’t I stop before I resorted to begging?

  “You know I would, but—” Leroy said.

  “How much are you short?”

  “I’m not taking your money, Aaron.”

  “It's either that or I chauffeur you around for a week.”

  “I'm serious. I'm not doing this.” I gave him my best serious face. I wasn’t sure he was buying it either.

  “Just take the money already,” the lady behind Aaron said. “Some of us can’t stand in line all day.”

  Aaron held up his hand and smiled at the others in line. “Can you give us a minute? Hold these,” he said to Leroy. “We’ll be right back.”

  He pulled me off to the side. “It can be a loan if you want. I mean, I don’t care if you pay it back.”

  And that irked me more. That was the whole point. Aaron could afford it no matter how much it was. I worked for every penny and couldn’t get a break. And I was going to start crying in the middle of Stucky’s Auto Parts. I pressed the heal of my hand against my eyes.

  “You have choices.”

  I laughed at that. “Do I?”

  He tilted his head and held up a finger. “One, I cover whatever you’re missing.”

  “I figured that one.”

  He ignored me and held up another finger. “Two, we get battery cables instead so we can give Betsy a jump. Then I’ll take you back here on Friday to get the parts so you can fix her.”

  That wasn’t a bad idea, but I’d still be imposing on him. And I’d have to walk to work for the rest of the week.

  “Or three…” He held up a third finger.

  “There’s a third choice?”

  “Of course,” he said. “I can call Aunt Kay and see if she’ll let Betsy stay for a week without having her towed.”


  I shook my head. Not sure if I wanted to laugh again or cry. I hated that he was right. I hated that I had to rely on anyone but especially him no matter which choice I made.

  “Fine,” I said finally. “But you can quit looking so damn smug about it.”

  “Hey, I'm just trying to help.”

  We moved back to the counter, and everyone waiting in line glared at us. One lady pointed to the back of the line, I wanted to argue but Aaron grabbed my arm and pulled us to the end.

  “Harsh crowd,” he said.

  “You have no idea.”

  The line moved quickly after that. It wasn’t long before we were back to the front. Leroy rang up my parts again, and I gave him all my money. Aaron grabbed twenty of it and handed it back to me. I stared at him, but he just shrugged.

  “Now you can owe me forty.”

  I had everything in hand and was almost home free. Almost. Until Leroy, bless his soul, piped up as we were walking away.

  “Thanks, Cian. Hey, tell Rob we’re thinking of him.”

  Busted. Great. Carli was going to kill me. If Aaron didn't get to it first.

  EIGHT:

  AARON

  We made our way back to the car, and he pretended nothing unusual had just happened. That wasn’t the way we were going to play this. I waited until we were on the highway before I said anything.

  “Do you want tell me what that was all about?”

  “Nope.”

  Maybe I shouldn’t’ve made it sound like a question. I wanted to throttle him, but that wouldn’t help either. “What is going on?” I asked. “Who is Rob?

  “Why does it matter?”

  “Well, for one thing, I’d like to know who I’m talking to.”

  He shrugged, not giving me anything. “It’s a common enough name.”

  “If that were true, I think you’d just tell me, instead of dodging my questions.”

  He stared at the phone in his hands. Not like he was looking something up but more like he needed somewhere to look. “Maybe I just like messing with you.”

  I studied him for a second. My focus going from the road to him and back. “Is that what you want me to believe?”

  He sighed. “I don’t know anymore.”

  I was usually a good judge of character but with Rob or Cian, whatever his name was, I had no clue what I was doing. He had my head all messed up.

  He typed quickly on his phone. I wondered who he was texting. Was it Carli?

  The ninety-minute drive back to his car seemed to take forever. I tried to focus on the road as much as possible. It was hard with the guy next to me having a fight with somebody over text. I could tell it was a fight by the way he jabbed at his phone.

  “Careful. Don't break it,” I said, wanting to remind him I was still there. Which was stupid.

  He leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. He looked exhausted.

  “You okay?” Why I even cared when I knew he was lying to me was beyond me.

  “Sometimes,” he said, “I just want to murder your sister.”

  “Is this one of those bury a body at two am things? Because I’m here for you, I am. But not sure about helping to disposed of my sister’s body.”

  “That's twisted.”

  “You're the one that brought up murder.”

  “That’s fair.” He scrubbed his fingers through his hair, and my eyes followed every movement.

  I had to remember to focus on the road. And breathe. His head titled back, exposing his long neck. He looked vulnerable. And it made me want things I couldn’t have.

  He bit his lower lip and my heart rated jumped. I wanted to run my fingers down his neck, kiss his tortured lip, and more…so much more. I swallowed and watched the road. Counting the license plates of out of town cars to distract me.

  “Was that fight with my sister?” I finally asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “Boyfriend stuff?” I couldn’t help it.

  He raised his head back up and watched me. “You could say that.” He cleared his throat. “Aaron, thanks for helping me today. I know I didn't seem grateful. But I am. You went out of your way, not only to take us home last night, but to take me today to get my stuff for the car. And now you’re driving me all the way back out here. It has taken the whole day and you never once complained. And you bought my parts.”

  “You had most of it. I only put in the last twenty bucks.”

  “Forty.”

  “Okay, forty. But it’s not a big deal.”

  “It is to me,” he said softy.

  Warmth spread across my chest. But I couldn’t say anything. My throat felt tight with emotion. God, what had he done to me?

  When we arrived at his car, which had thankfully not been towed, he jumped out and checked Betsy over.

  Once he was satisfied, he took off his jacket, and rolled up his sleeves.

  I tried not to stare at his strong forearms with light red hair sprinkled all over. He went to work quickly getting the tools from his car.

  “What can I do?” I asked, needing to do something.

  “Come here.”

  I moved to stand next to him, and he handed me a flashlight.

  “Can you hold the light so I can see what I'm doing?”

  “Sure.”

  “We can reach the starter from here,” he said. “In some cars you have to go in from the bottom.”

  “Lucky.”

  He laughed at that. “Sure. We’ll go with that.”

  I watched him work. Taking apart the old starter and then putting in the new. He used tape in several places. “What’s that for?”

  “It marks the wires for so I know how to hook them back up right.”

  This wasn’t someone pretending. He knew what he was doing. This part of him was real. His confidence in the way he worked with his hands was hot. I'd never really thought about that before. The guys I’d dated in the past hated getting their hands dirty. But Ce…I couldn’t think of him as Rob anymore, didn’t mind at all.

  “Okay,” he said. “I think I’ve got it Now we just have to try and start it.” He wiped his hands on the cloth, but he somehow managed to get some dirt on the side of his neck.

  “You have some…” I pointed to his neck. He tried to rub at it and missed completely.

  “Here, let me.” I don't know what I was thinking. I could have used the cloth. I could've done anything except touch him. I slipped my hand behind his neck so my thumb could rub off the spot. I stared at his beautiful soft skin and swallowed. Oil was disgusting, but there was a part of me that would've licked it off his neck if he’d let me. When I glanced up, he was staring at me. His mouth open, taking quick breaths, and in that moment, I didn't care that he might be Carli's boyfriend or lying to me this whole time. None of that mattered. What mattered was kissing. He stared at my lips and stepped closer, as if he was afraid I’d change my mind. I still hesitated, giving him a chance to reconsider. When he didn’t move, I tilted his head back as I leaned in for the kiss. I closed my eyes at the last moment, wanting to savor this. Savor him.

  A phone rang startling us both. I stepped back, letting go of him.

  Ce glared at his phone and shook his head. “Just a second,” he said, turning away with the phone to his ear. “Hello?”

  I tried not to listen, but there was no way I was going back to the car. I was sure it was Carli, and I was irrationally irritated that she interrupted our kiss. How messed up was that?

  “I said okay.” His voice had gotten louder as they’d talked. “What you think I'm doing?” There was a short pause, but I could see the blush working its way up his neck. He rubbed at the spot I’d touched. “I’ll call you when I get home, okay?”

  His voice dropped and he glanced over at me. “He’s doing okay.” His laugh ran through me sparking a need to hold him again. To finish the kiss, we’d started.

  “Alright. I’ll tell him.” He hung up and looked at me sheepishly.

  “Tell me what?”

/>   “She said you’re a loser.”

  I smiled. Same ol’ Carli. “She liked to call me that even though I never lost.”

  He seemed dazed as if he couldn’t remember what he’d been doing before. And then he did remember and the blush on his skin was gorgeous.

  “Do you want to try starting the car?” I asked.

  “Yes. Right.” He jumped in the car leaving the door open. “I hope this works.”

  It started on the first try, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

  He gathered all his stuff and then reached into my car for his backpack. “Thank you, Aaron.”

  That’s when it hit me. We wouldn’t be riding back together. Now that his car was fixed, he didn’t need me at all. In fact, there was no reason for us to even hang out. The thought of not seeing him again made my chest hurt. I took a deep breath. I had one last play.

  “I'll follow you home.”

  “No.” He held up his hand. “There’s no need for you to do that.”

  “I want to make sure you get home safe.”

  He rolled his eyes, but there was a smile on his face, “You're weird. All these manners and things. You know that, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “It’s kinda rare, I think,” Ce said.

  “So I’ve been told. I just get really protective about people I—” I snapped my mouth shut. What the hell? Was I really about to say I cared about him?

  “People you…?”

  “Know,” I said. “I get protective of people I know.”

  He smiled like he didn’t believe me. “I'll try to go slow so you can keep up.”

  “I know where you live.” I hesitated for a second as a thought struck me. “You are going home, right?”

  He laughed at that. “I was gonna hit some clubs first, but I guess I’ll go home instead.

  “You’re not old enough to get in a club.”

  “Seriously, Aaron. Are you that much of a Boy Scout that you’ve never had a fake ID?”

  I chuckled. “I didn’t need one. That's what money’s for.” It was the wrong thing to say, and I knew it before I even finished the sentence. We were having a fun conversation maybe even flirting. But whatever we were doing, it was over as soon as I mentioned money.