Crash Into You

by Diana Morland

  Roller derby.

  If she was staying here until closing, she would miss roller derby.

  Of course, the tournament was ending this weekend, so she wouldn’t be letting down the all-star team. But she would miss a lot of practices, since the Monstrous Regiment never stopped practicing. She would have no outlet for her stress, unless she gave up sleep to take up running or something like that.

  She took a deep breath. She could do this. She would have to find a way.

  “Okay,” she said. “I appreciate your trust in me. How much will I get paid for the overtime? Time-and-a-half?”

  Joe looked down and shuffled some papers on his desk. Karen said, “We were hoping you would take on the extra hours as a volunteer. We can’t afford to pay extra—not with the cruise.”

  “But after the cruise, we’ll talk about a raise,” Joe said. “We’re thinking about switching up your hours anyway. You’re so good with the customers that it would really be best to have you here during our busiest evening hours.”

  “Especially after what Joe said to that family last week,” Karen said nastily.

  “We need you, Megan,” Joe finished.

  Yes. They needed her. She knew that perfectly well; this place hardly ran without her, especially if that canceled appointment from last week had been because Joe said something rude to a family, which it sounded like it was. She had to stay and do this stuff because otherwise, there would be no one to do it.

  It was going to be hard, but that was just what you had to do to keep a job in this economy.

  Then she remembered Gianna from two days ago. Sometimes, I think, you’re kind of overcompensating. They’re hard to get along with, so you try even harder and you end up being a doormat.

  And Gianna from even longer ago, pointing out that she did everything here. And the other girls in the car on the way back from the tournament, none of whom had ever been yelled at by their bosses.

  They probably had never been asked to work unpaid overtime, either.

  She took yet another deep breath. She was afraid to say this, but she knew she had to. She couldn’t let other people control her life.

  She straightened her shoulders, looked Joe in the eyes, and then turned to Karen.

  “No,” she said.

  Karen narrowed her eyes at her. “No?”

  “I’m not working any overtime and I’m not changing my schedule to evenings,” she said. “I have roller derby practice in the evenings and I’m not willing to give that up. Find someone else to cover that shift if you need it.”

  It felt surprisingly good to say no. She wanted to keep going, to shout at them, to tell them that they could do some of the work themselves if it needed to be done and that if they couldn’t afford to run their business they couldn’t afford to go on a cruise either, but she held her tongue. This was enough.

  Karen continued to look pissed, but it was Joe who exploded, standing up and leaning over his desk to wag his finger in Megan’s face. “What the fuck, Megan! How dare you refuse this opportunity! You know, this whole place could be yours when we retire, but not if you’re going to be so ungrateful! Maybe we will find someone else to do your job, and then where will you be?”

  “Joe,” Karen said, dropping her arms, “she has the right to choose what she’s going to do and not do in her job.” Megan hated it when they switched who was good cop and who was bad cop.

  “Shut up, Karen. We’re her bosses! She doesn’t have a choice except to do what we tell her to do!”

  “Yes, I do,” Megan said. Her heart was pounding. She wanted to step back, but she held her ground. She wouldn’t let Joe know that he intimidated her.

  Karen crossed the small space to get closer to Joe. “Leave her alone,” she whispered. “Just give her time to think about it, and I’m sure—”

  “You’re not even listening, Karen!” Joe bellowed. “Megan, you’ll open and close the park while we’re away for Christmas, or we’re replacing you.”

  “Fine.” Megan did take a step back this time, but only to get closer to the door. “But you’re not going to have my help finding my replacement. I quit, effective today.”

  They both turned to face her this time. “You can’t!” Karen cried.

  “Yes, I can,” Megan said. She stepped through the doorway. “I don’t need you.”

  Karen ran after her, but she backed around the desk and Karen stopped, hands dangling at her side. “Megan, please. What do you need? More money? We’ll raise your pay. You’ll get free tickets for the park.”

  Megan was gathering up her lunch. She’d eat it outside. She looked at the phone and felt a lurch of guilt; the light blinked with three new messages already, and she wasn’t answering any of them. She was leaving the customers to the dubious good nature of Joe and Karen.

  “You might want to offer the next person more money,” she said calmly. “They’re going to have a mess to deal with, and you’re going to have a hard time finding someone willing to take on this job.”

  “Are you threatening me?” Karen hissed.

  Megan shook her head. “I’m just leaving. I can’t threaten you if you don’t have anything that I want.”

  She did consider threatening them, of course. It would have been really satisfying to start throwing a few punches. But it wasn’t worth the risk—not unless they forced her to it. She and Karen stared at each other for a long, silent moment.

  In the end, Karen stepped aside and Joe stayed in the office. They let her walk out of there.

  Chapter 19

  Megan was drenched with sweat and sucking desperately on a bottle of sports drink. The coaches had filled their trunks with drinks and snacks this time, and it was a good thing they had: this final, championship match was the toughest game they’d ever played.

  It was halftime break, and the scores were actually tied.

  The crowd was wild, and Megan felt pretty wild herself, buzzing with energy even though she hadn’t had any caffeine that day. During breaks, her eyes kept straying to Gianna, but on the track, she was totally focused.

  The only explanation she could come up with for the fact that they weren’t winning was that the other team was really, incredibly good.

  “All right, folks, let’s talk tactics in the few minutes we have left,” Faith said, gathering them all together. Megan noticed that Gayle had been talking to Shelly over the barrier that separated them from the audience. She waved at Shelly, who grinned and waved back, but then they were all huddled together, looking at the coaches, and there was no time for anyone else.

  “You’re all doing really well with the teamwork thing,” Faith said, looking at each player in turn. “Gianna’s idea is still holding strong.”

  “But it’s not enough,” Amelia said. “We don’t have teamwork as an advantage over the other guys like we did last week.”

  “Yeah,” Grace said. “They also seem to really know what they’re doing and how to work together.”

  “So we need to come up with something else, if we can,” Kendall said. “Gianna, any ideas?”

  Gianna blinked in obvious surprise. “Me? No.” Megan grinned. She was so cute.

  “I keep trying to come up with tricks, and they’re all dirty tricks that are going to get somebody suspended,” Janine said with a grimace. “It feels like that would be the only way to win.”

  “Not true,” Faith said. “You guys are an amazing team and you can win without any tricks. They’re not perfect, right?”

  “You’re the ones who have been watching the whole match from the outside,” Megan said. “Have you found any weaknesses we can exploit?”

  Faith grimaced. “To be honest, no. But I don’t think they’ve found any weaknesses on our side, either. All we have here is two solid derby teams.”

  “So just be our amazing selves. That’s our tactic.” Megan grinned.

  Gianna caught her eyes and grinned back. “I think that’s definitely the best thing we can do.”

  The w
histle blew, signaling that they only had a short time until the second half of the game began. “Okay,” Kendall said. “This is it. No fancy tactics, no head games. Just amazing derby.”

  As they all cheered to pump each other up, Faith shouted over them, “And don’t hurt yourselves!”

  Megan had that advice in mind as she positioned herself with the other jammer for the first jam. Her heart was pounding. She looked over at the opposing jammer and nodded, adjusting her gloves. The other woman gave her a weak grin.

  At least they think we’re as much a threat to them as they are to us, was all Megan had time to think before the whistle blew again and they were off.

  She managed to get them up by a single point, but then in the next jam they were down to a tied score again. Amelia, in the next jam after that, got them two points ahead, but in the following jam they didn’t make any points at all, so the other team was up by seven.

  They managed to regain the tie, but for the next few rounds it was up and down again, just a few every time, always so close it would have been impossible for Megan to keep track if it weren’t for the announcer. Even with his PA system, it was sometimes hard to hear him—the crowd was cheering so loudly.

  Megan was exhilarated. She’d played against really strong opponents before, but (much as she loved Monstrous Regiment) the team she was on had never been so cohesive and so good. This was competition. This was derby.

  As the penultimate jam wore down, Faith pulled her aside. “Your shoulder, it’s in good shape, right?” she whispered urgently. “No pain?”

  Megan moved her arm up and down, just to make sure, and nodded. “It’s totally fine,” she reported. She hadn’t felt a twinge since practice for the All-Stars had begun—but she needed to be certain she wasn’t lying to her coach.

  Faith nodded, her face relaxing slightly. “Good. I’m putting you in for the final jam, if that’s okay. It was going to be Janine, but it looks like she has a bit of a strain in her leg, and I’m not putting Amelia in twice in a row. You’re going to kill this for us, right, Megan?”

  Megan took a deep breath. She used the moment to check over all her systems, to make sure she wasn’t having any pain anywhere, that she was ready.

  She nodded.

  “Great,” Faith said, tugging her back to the rest of the team. “Guys, Megan’s jammer for the last jam. Get any planning you need in… now.”

  As she spoke her final word, the whistle blew. They only had thirty seconds to plan. Megan and Gianna locked eyes.

  They knew what to do.

  The two teams were tied at the beginning of the jam. If they stayed tied, the match would go into overtime. That wasn’t a bad thing… but the Sisterly Love All-Stars were dragging, and, if Faith was right (and she usually was), one of their jammers was injured. They needed to end the game, and preferably end it on a win.

  That was all that was going through Megan’s head as she skated to take her place for the final jam. She had to make lead jammer, and she had to pay attention to the score. If she ended the jam too early, they would have room for another jam in the period, so she had to get her team’s score up, keep it up for at least a minute, and end the jam before the other team could get ahead again.

  No small task.

  This time she didn’t look at the opposing jammer while they waited on the line. She didn’t want to see the other team as people. She just wanted to win.

  As soon as the whistle blew, she exploded off the jammer line, off like a rocket toward the pack of blockers. She didn’t look at the other jammer; she didn’t want to slow herself down enough to see what was happening.

  She found Gianna at the back of the pack. They grabbed each other’s hands and pulled together. They didn’t hold onto each other; they just skated, shoulder-to-shoulder, forming a wall but not an impenetrable one.

  Their opponents could get through them without breaking anything, so they weren’t breaking the rules. They were just skating very, very close together, with no space between them. In fact, there was practically negative space between them, the way Megan was pressed against Gianna’s cushiony body.

  But she wasn’t distracted. Not this time. She just had to play.

  The two whistle blasts came before she made it through the pack, though, and she swore under her breath. The other jammer had already made lead. Now Megan had to catch up.

  As soon as she had gotten through the pack for the first time, she took off skating fast again. She passed the other jammer and reached the pack a few feet ahead of her. She slid past one of the opposing blockers and inwardly cheered. They were up a point!

  But she couldn’t stop the jam even if she wanted to now. She just had to keep the points up for the rest of the jam, so that the other jammer never had a good place to end it.

  She struggled through the pack, assisted by Gianna, Leya, and her other teammates. But it was difficult for them to assist her thoroughly while also blocking the other jammer, and they burst through the pack at the exact same time. They were still tied. They raced around the track, each trying to beat the other to the pack, but neither of them could get any speed on the other.

  They hit the pack again. Megan’s heart was beating hard. They didn’t have much time. She had to get them ahead so they didn’t go into overtime. She had to…

  They made it through the pack again. They spun their skates faster than ever before. Megan had never gone this fast without worrying that she was going to shoot straight off the track and into the crowd.

  They hit the pack and Megan slid through Gianna and Leya, who came together right behind her, blocking the other jammer. Megan didn’t have time to look back to see how she was doing. She tucked her elbows in and pushed her way through the pack.

  She had never wanted to use her elbows more than she did at this moment, but she could never afford a penalty less.

  Often she could see over the heads of the other players, but for this final jam, the opposing team had fielded some really big women. Megan couldn’t see past the ones she was trying to get around. All she could do was skate as hard as she could.

  And then the woman blocking her was shoved aside by a short, curvy, ballistic missile. Megan grinned with excitement. She made it past the next blocker, and then—

  The whistle blew. Four short blasts signaling the end of the jam. Had the other jammer called it?

  No, she saw as the pack slowed and cleared, she was right next to Megan, still detangling herself from a blocker. Was it still a tie?

  The scores weren’t shown anywhere. They spun in slow circles, staring up at the announcer’s booth.

  “By a single point,” the announcer cried, unable to keep his own excitement out of his voice, “the winner is… The Big Apple Roller Babes!”

  The crowd exploded with cheers. The women beside her on the track exploded with cheers. And, amazingly, Megan found herself exploding with cheers, too.

  The other jammer held up her hand. Megan high-fived her. The blockers were high-fiving, too, and shaking hands, and then the rest of both teams were pouring onto the track, cheering and hugging and shaking hands over and over again.

  Megan couldn’t stop laughing. That had been an incredible game. When she found herself face-to-face with the opposing jammer from the last jam again, she wrung the other woman’s hand. “That was amazing,” she shouted, unsure if she’d even hear her over the noise of the crowd and the teams. “We should do it again sometime.”

  “Absolutely,” the woman shouted back, grinning her head off. “We’ll see you next year.”

  The Sisterly Love All-Stars made their way off the track so the Roller Babes could do their victory lap. Everyone kept cheering and cheering. Megan’s throat was getting sore. She and Gianna kept hugging and jumping up and down.

  They hadn’t won. But they’d lost by a single point.

  And somehow, that felt just as amazing.

  The entire team slept like the dead that night, even after partying for hours. It was a good thi
ng they’d taken hotel rooms again, because they had no chance of being in good enough shape to drive back the same night. As it was, it took them a few hours and a lot of greasy hotel breakfast and weak hotel coffee to get going.

  Megan was glad she didn’t drive. No one was going to ask her to, and she didn’t have to be entirely awake. She just had to get rested enough for her interview tomorrow.

  But she felt oddly alert, despite the pounding headache and the dry mouth. Her mind was clear. For what felt like the first time in years—maybe ever—she knew where she was going and what she was doing.

  As Faith pulled her car onto the highway, Megan and a few others riding as passengers, Megan turned to Gianna. “I think you got it wrong.”

  “Who, me? Never. What did I get wrong?” Gianna flashed her grin at Megan—but it was only a flash, and she bit her lip afterward. Megan’s heart lurched as she realized Gianna probably thought she was talking about their relationship.

  “About me,” she said quickly. “I stood up for myself quitting my job.”

  Gianna’s smile returned. “Yes, you did, and it was awesome.”

  She’d told all the girls about how she’d quit her job the same evening at roller derby practice—she hadn’t been able to hold it back, and they’d all been thrilled for her. Kendall had immediately set her up for an interview at the skate shop where she worked. It was slated for Monday, and would pay a lot more than Megan had been earning at the trampoline park, so she wasn’t too nervous about living on her savings in the meantime. Assuming she got the job.

  She wasn’t feeling all that awesome at the moment.

  “It wasn’t that awesome,” she said. “Just overdue. But my point is, I was being a doormat, but not because I was overcompensating.”

  Gianna raised her eyebrows. “Do tell.”

  “It’s roller derby where I’ve been overcompensating,” she said. “I’ve never thought I could stand up for myself. But in derby…”

  “You just knock other people down,” put in Clara with a laugh.