In Name Only (A Pine Falls Novel Book 2)

by Jennifer Peel

  “I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”

  She patted my knee. “It wasn’t something we really talked about during those days. But each time I felt as if I had lost a part of myself.”

  I nodded. “I feel that way too. More like all of myself.”

  She gave me a thoughtful look. “You have some extenuating circumstances, don’t you?”

  I pulled my knees tighter against me. “What do you know?”

  Her blue eyes filled with tears. “More than I want to. I’m not even sure I know who I married. I can’t believe he blackmailed you.” Her elegant hands balled up.

  I handed her a tissue from my nightstand. Kinsley had kept me stocked.

  She took the tissue and dabbed her eyes. “I hope you know I had no idea. I figured you were pregnant, but I didn’t say anything because Brock is a private person and I knew you would tell me when you were both ready. And honestly, I was just so happy you two were finally getting married.” She looked at the door, I think to make sure it was closed, before she lowered her voice. “But I didn’t know about Brant and you.”

  My face and body flushed red. I looked up at the ceiling, so embarrassed. “You must think I’m a terrible person.”

  She took my hand. “On the contrary; I think you are very brave.”

  I wouldn’t call myself brave. I met her watery eyes. “We didn’t mean to. It was—”

  “You don’t need to explain yourself to me. You were consenting adults with no attachments to anyone. Which I think bothers Brock more than anything. He knows he gave you no reason to hold on to him. And quite honestly, I would have been happy if you ended up with either one of my boys.”

  “Brant and I don’t love each other like that.”

  “I know. The boys told me everything.”

  “Everything?” I whispered.

  She gave me a half smile. “Enough to know you’ve been placed in a tough spot. A spot my husband forced you into,” her voice trembled. “I feel like my life has been a lie.” She broke down and placed her face in her hands.

  I could relate to my life feeling like a lie, yet I wasn’t sure what to do to comfort her. I decided it was best to let her cry it out and talk when she was ready. After a few minutes, her sobs turned to shudders. She took several tissues and tried to compose herself. “I’m so sorry to act like this after everything you’ve been through.”

  “Please, don’t apologize. I feel as if I should apologize to you. You treated me like a daughter, all while my marriage was a sham.”

  “I don’t believe that for a minute. Neither do you.”

  I rested my head on my knees. “I love Brock, but we shouldn’t have gotten married.”

  She smoothed my hair. “I know you love my son. And he loves you. Perhaps it would have been best to wait to marry, but I think the fact that you both went through with it says volumes about how deeply you want each other.”

  “I had no choice.”

  “I hope you don’t mind, but I’m going to disagree with you. You had choices. You could have lied about the baby. Kept secret what had happened between you and Brant. Yet you chose to tell the man you loved the truth, despite the consequences. It speaks to your strong, good character.”

  I lifted my head, wanting to believe her.

  “You are my daughter,” she choked out. “Though I won’t blame you if you want to leave this family. I’m not even sure if my own marriage will survive this.” The color drained from her face as if she couldn’t believe she’d said that.

  My heart leaped that she thought of me as her daughter but broke because she was obviously distraught. I had to admit, though, I was curious. “Do you mind me asking what John told you?”

  She wiped her eyes and let out a heavy sigh. “It’s more what he didn’t say. He didn’t deny blackmailing you, though he wouldn’t tell me or the boys why or what Edward Copeland is holding over his head. All he would say was that it was the best thing for our family if we all kept this to ourselves and went on with our lives as if nothing has happened. I can’t do that. That’s not who we are.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  She stared blankly at me for few moments. “I don’t know,” she cried. “John and the boys have been my entire world. But it wasn’t my John telling me those things. The man I married stood up to bullies. He would never become one himself. Oh, Dani, I’m sorry. I just want you to know I don’t care about your past. I know who you are.”

  “Do you? Could you tell me?”

  “Darling girl.” She placed her hands on my cheeks. “You are amazing. You rose above the toughest circumstances and look what you made of your life. It’s remarkable. As are you. Don’t you think any different.” She kissed my forehead with all the tenderness of a mother. “I’m going to go now and let you get some rest. I’ll be staying with Brock for a while, if you need me.”

  “You left John?” I blurted, so surprised.

  “I suppose for lack of a better term, yes.”

  I could hear the heartbreak in her voice. “I don’t know if it matters, but I know John loves you.” I wasn’t sure why I felt the need to come to his aid. Probably because I could see the anguish in Sheridan’s eyes.

  “That’s what hurts the most. I know he does. And before this, there was never anything he wouldn’t do for me. He’s never kept anything from me, until now. Whatever Edward knows, it must be life changing. And that scares me. What did my husband do?” she cried. “And why must my son suffer, marrying a woman he doesn’t love?”

  “I don’t know, but I’m scared for Brant. Scared for us all.”

  “Me too.” She sat up tall. “But this I know—I’ll protect my sons at all costs. That goes for my daughter too.”

  I threw my arms around her.

  She reciprocated and held me for the longest time. “Don’t give up on Brock or yourself,” she pleaded. “Take all the time you need, but please don’t push me out of your life.”

  “I won’t,” I promised.

  She leaned away and took a long look at me. “When you feel better, if you would like, we could memorialize the baby in some special way. It always helped me. It reminded me that it was real.”

  “I would like that.”

  “You just say the word and I’ll make it happen.”

  “Thank you, Sheridan.”

  “Would you mind calling me Mom?”

  “But what if—”

  “I believe in you and Brock.”

  I was glad someone did. “I haven’t called anyone Mom since I was a little girl.” My voice shook. I hadn’t even called Grandma Mom when they took me in. By the time I thought of her as my mother, the name Grandma had stuck.

  “You don’t have to.” She seemed embarrassed.

  “It’s not that I don’t want to . . . I’m afraid to.”

  “I’m not going anywhere, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

  I nodded.

  “You’re stuck with me.” She smiled.

  “Mom it is, then.” My eyes welled with tears.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  I rubbed my continually tired eyes and reached for my phone in the semidark. “Hello?” I answered without even looking at who it was.

  “Dani. I hope I didn’t wake you.”

  For a brief moment, panic set in. Why was Brock calling so early? I sat up. “Are you okay?”

  “I miss you.”

  I looked at the time. “You called at six in the morning to tell me you miss me?”

  “That’s not the only reason.”

  I could hear the trepidation in his voice. “What’s going on?” My thoughts immediately went to Brant and Edward.

  “I’m going away for a while.”

  “With the military?” I felt sick to my stomach.

  “No. Actually, I’m taking a medical retirement.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief. “When was that decided?”

  “Last week. I was going to tell you, but there were more important things to worr
y about.”

  “How do you feel about it?” The military was everything to him. He had, literally, almost given his life for it.

  “That’s not important right now. What is, is trying to keep you safe.”

  My heart beat double time. “What’s happened?”

  “Nothing yet, and Brant and I intend to keep it that way. But I’m going to need you to do something for me.”

  “Tell me what’s going on.”

  He paused. In the silence, my mind played out every sordid scenario it could imagine. Everything from Edward sabotaging Children to Love to him sacrificing virgins in the White House.

  “According to Brant, there are rumblings,” Brock interrupted my sickening thoughts, “about the validity of our marriage and the timing of it all.”

  “Edward thinks the baby wasn’t yours,” I eked out.

  “Edward would love that. More leverage for him to use against my family. But Edward has no proof, and we don’t want to give him any reason to believe that. In Washington, some people don’t care about proof; they care about how they can manipulate the narrative. Once the damage is done, proof is only a minor inconvenience.”

  “Why would he do that to his daughter’s fiancé?”

  “He wants to own Brant like he owns my father, apparently.” Disgust wove through his words. He was livid with his father for what he had done to me and for cowering to Edward. His hero had fallen, and I knew it broke his heart. “More like he wants to own Brant’s votes when he becomes a senator.”

  “We can’t let that happen.”

  “Agreed. Which is why I need you to come home.”

  Did he say what I thought he’d said? “Wait. We aren’t . . . I mean, we’re . . . Well, I don’t what we are, but we’re . . . separated.” It was the only way I could think to describe our situation. Though the word sounded ugly saying it out loud.

  “I know,” he said solemnly. “Which is why I won’t be here.”

  “I’m confused.”

  “I’m going to go to an inpatient treatment center in Utah. I leave late this morning.”

  “You’re what? That doesn’t sound like you.”

  “It’s not my first choice, and if they start holding hands around a campfire and singing ‘Kumbaya,’ I’m out of there,” he teased.

  I softly laughed. “I know a good therapist here.”

  “I know, but I need you to come home. I need to keep you safe.”

  “How is coming to your place going to keep me safe?”

  “Dani, being married to me—especially right now—means living in the public eye. If anyone finds out you’re staying alone at the loft, that is going to cause a stir. If you come here and I go to receive treatment for PTSD, people will understand, especially given our recent loss. And my mom will be staying here to take care of you, which will also serve to cover up my parents’ separation.”

  I rubbed my forehead. “It sounds like we’re playing games.”

  “No. We’re buying time is all. Time for Brant to make his move and put an end to this.”

  “How is he going to do that?”

  “He’s going to drop his election bid.”

  “No,” I gasped. He couldn’t do that. It’s what he’d always dreamed of. The first time I met him, he’d said, “You just touched a future senator.” I flashed back to the coffee shop where Brock and I had been studying when in walked Brock’s twin, every bit as achingly handsome and confident as his brother. It was double the trouble and double the fun with those two. But Brant was cockier than Brock ever had been. I knew, though, that we would be good friends from the moment he had shaken my hand.

  “Priorities have shifted.”

  “I don’t want him to do this for me. I can take care of myself.”

  “No one is doubting your capabilities, but I don’t think any one of us truly knows what Edward Copeland is capable of. And, Dani, this isn’t just about you. Edward is controlling this entire family, and it has to end. The only way to stop him is to beat him at his own game. And the only way for us to do that is for Brant to cut ties with the Copeland family and his political ambitions.”

  I sank down into my pillows, hardly believing what I had gotten myself wrapped up in. All I’d wanted was a nice, simple life with the man I loved. Not the plotline for a Taron Taylor book. “Won’t there be some backlash from that?”

  “Yes,” Brock whispered. “Brant will more than likely become a political pariah, and it might do some damage to Holland Industries, but it’s the price he’s willing to pay to make sure those he loves the most are spared from Copeland’s wrath.”

  “So he can just walk away and that’s it, Edward is gone? Problem solved?”

  “No. That’s why we’re buying time.”

  “What does it buy us?”

  “Leverage and, hopefully, our father’s cooperation.”

  I dropped my phone, then recovered it quickly. “You think your father is going to spill the beans?”

  “He will if he wants any chance of winning my mom back and keeping a relationship with Brant and me.”

  “What if his secrets destroy your family’s reputation? Or worse?”

  “Dani, as long as we end up together and my family is safe, I don’t care if my money or status goes away. The thing is, whatever Edward is holding over my father, Edward was involved too. Brant has been made privy to a few other items of interest as well. Hopefully it will be enough to, figuratively, kill the beast.”

  It all seemed unlikely. Puppet masters were the masters for reasons. With that said, Brant and Brock were some of the smartest men I knew. If anyone could find the scissors sharp enough to cut the strings Edward had used to ensnare us all, it would be them. Yet I feared to hope. “Brock, even if this works, it doesn’t mean—”

  “That we’re staying together. I know.” He sounded so disheartened about the prospect of us breaking up. “But if it does work out,” a burst of hope shone through his words, “would you still want to be with me even if we have to start over with nothing? If we’re in a small house living paycheck to paycheck?”

  I smiled to myself. It sounded like a dream to me, as weird as that sounded. Working together to make ends meet. Relying on each other instead of not having to work for anything. Grandma and Grandpa used to say their first few years of married life, being as poor as church mice, were some of their fondest memories. It was when they’d learned to rely on each other. They wished each of us girls the same fate. Yet Ariana and I had each married well-established doctors. Go figure.

  “Brock, if this works and you have nothing left to your name but your integrity, I would love you even more than I do now.” My voice hitched.

  “You love me?”

  I could hear the smile in his voice. “Loving you has never been our problem.”

  “I know. That’s why I’m going. Will you come home?”

  “We don’t have a home.”

  “When I bought this place, I always had you in mind. Why do you think I asked you to come to every showing?”

  “I think you mentioned that the owner’s realtor thought I was attractive and you were using it as a negotiating tactic.”

  Brock chuckled. “It was all an excuse. Though I did get a good deal, so thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “Dani, please come here,” he pleaded. “Please let me keep you safe.”

  “Is there any such thing anymore?”

  “Maybe not in the traditional sense of the word, but I believe there is a certain safety when we come together. And if you come home, I can offer you the possibility of safer days ahead.”

  I ran my hands through my hair, not knowing what to do. Going to Brock’s meant something. More than just being part of some mastermind plan. It meant I was opening the door to a life with Brock. A door I thought had been slammed shut. A door I was afraid to open but desperately wanted to. “Who will keep my heart safe if I come?” I cried.

  “Me,” he said, unequivocally.
<
br />   I felt the power of his words, but I was frightened. I had been through so much. I had lost too much. Even so, was I really ready to walk away and let everything go? Let him go?

  “Okay,” I whispered. “I’ll come to your place, but I’m not making any promises.”

  “I don’t expect you to.”

  “How long will you be gone?”

  “As long as it takes for me to get well. Unless they start a bunch of touchy-feely crap.”

  I giggled. “It’s going to get uncomfortable, but I’m proud of you. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

  “The only thing I’m ashamed of is the way I treated you. The counselor on the phone said their main objective is to help me rebuild trust and rediscover purpose. I told him I already knew my purpose, and that is loving you.”

  Tears welled in my eyes. “Brock.”

  “I know, Dani. I know I have a long way to go to rebuild trust with you and to prove to you that I love you, but I’m going to.” His tone left very little doubt, if any at all, that he would do exactly that.

  “Just go get well.”

  “I promise. My mom knows how to get in contact with me if you need me. They won’t let me have my cell phone.” He went silent for half a beat. “I love you.”

  I swallowed down my pride and sorrow. “I love you too.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  “Can I get you anything?” Sheridan was the ultimate caretaker. I think she asked me that question at least twenty times a day. I had never been so well fed, which was saying something, considering that my sister was a phenomenal chef. Sheridan’s pampering made me feel guilty, as she was dealing with her own heartbreak. She said taking care of me and the house was helping her to not get so down in the dumps, as she called it. She’d said, “The best cure for forgetting about your own troubles is to care for someone else’s.” She was amazing at it.

  “I’m good. Thank you.” I set my laptop down next to me on the couch and stretched. I was working from home, for now. I still felt a little weak, even after two weeks, and I was still crying at the drop of a hat. Plus, the tragic loss of my baby and my husband’s courageous struggle with PTSD was playing out online. Working from Brock’s offered a buffer from it all. Of course, it was all part of the plan—which so far seemed to be working—but it was still uncomfortable to feel so exposed. To have something so personal and private be talked about so publicly by strangers was unnerving.