The Reed Security Relationship Manual: A Reed Security Romance

by Giulia Lagomarsino

  Giulia: A woman never reveals her secrets.

  Chance: So, can I assume that everything that’s happened in these books has in some form come from you?

  Giulia: No. I’ve never held a gun.

  Chance: Really? So, where do all those moves come from?

  Giulia: My husband. He’s part of the Russian mafia.

  Chance: Really?

  Giulia: No, but that would be cool. Maybe I’ll skip the second series about the kids and write a series about Russian mobsters.

  Chance: That’s not cool.

  Giulia: What are you complaining about? You’ve had three books.

  Chance: That last one wasn’t mine. Everyone was in it.

  Giulia: You had a huge storyline. And you were like a superhero, without the cape, of course.

  Chance: Well, that’s Derek’s territory.

  Giulia: Alright, well, we’ll see you back here in a few for your second interview.

  Chance: Why do I need another interview? You only get one, and I just gave it.

  Giulia: But you had another book. Sorry, that’s the way this works.

  Jackson

  Jackson: What’s with Chance? He looked pretty pissed when he left.

  Giulia: I told him he had to do another interview.

  Jackson: I don’t have to do another one, do I?

  Giulia: Nope, just the one.

  Jackson: Why?

  Giulia: Well, you only had one book.

  Jackson: You know, it’s always a competition with that guy.

  Giulia: Really? I didn’t know you felt that way.

  Jackson: Well, it’s not like I’m jealous or anything.

  Giulia: I don’t know why you would be. He was tortured.

  Jackson: Yeah, but he was the big hero in the book. What did I do? I ran through mud with Raegan.

  Giulia: Yeah, but that was such a fun story. And Raegan is so much fun.

  Jackson: But it’s not like I got to save anyone.

  Giulia: You went on that mission with Knight to help Raegan out.

  Jackson: You mean the one where he shot me in the ass?

  Giulia: Yeah, that was pretty funny.

  Jackson: Only because I got to shoot him back.

  Giulia: See? Not many people get to shoot Knight. You should feel special that I gave you that opportunity.

  Jackson: I guess. I mean, if anyone was going to be able to do it, it would have been Hunter.

  Giulia: But I didn’t let Hunter have that opportunity. It was because I knew you could handle Knight.

  Jackson: Now you’re just blowing smoke up my ass. Besides, after I shot Knight, I had pretty much all the hair removed from my body. That was not cool.

  Giulia: Well, it was funny for the rest of us. Who doesn’t like a good waxing scene?

  Jackson: Me. There were guys there watching. It’s humiliating.

  Giulia: You were passed out. It’s not like you knew what was happening.

  Jackson: Still, a man has to trust that people won’t pull shit like that on him.

  Giulia: Look, if I had realized this would be such an issue…

  Jackson: Yeah?

  Giulia: I still would have done it.

  Jackson: Just for that, I’m gonna tell Chance to be a dick this second time around.

  Giulia: Oh, like I wasn’t already expecting that.

  Chance

  Chance walks in and sits down with a sigh.

  Giulia: Chance, it’s so good to have you back.

  Silence.

  Giulia: Don’t be like that. You know you want to talk to me.

  Silence.

  Giulia: Are you just going to sit there for the whole interview?

  Silence.

  Giulia: So, I guess I can’t tempt you with a teaser into your future.

  His eyes narrow at me.

  Giulia: Like…how many children you have.

  His jaw clenches.

  Giulia: Or…if you and Morgan stay together.

  His nostrils flare.

  Giulia: What about…whether or not you come home from all your jobs?

  He stands and walks out the door.

  Giulia: Damn, I really thought I would get to him.

  He storms back in, getting right in my face and jabbing his finger at me.

  Chance: Let’s get one thing clear. You’ve fucked with my life enough already. Do it again and I’ll make sure no one ever reads your books again, and it’s not going to be because you can’t get published. It’s because they won’t find your body.

  Storm

  Storm: Alright, I’m here. What do you need from me?

  Giulia: Not one for small talk, I see.

  Storm: You already knew this about me.

  Giulia: Well, I sort of thought that since you started fitting in more with the company that you might be more friendly.

  Storm: You made me sound like an idiot. I said I wanted to eat her like a starving, mangy dog!

  Giulia: Well, it was funny. And frankly, sex scenes get boring to write. I have to keep things fresh.

  Storm: What about Parker and Blake? They had some serious chemistry. Why couldn’t you make me more like that?

  Giulia: Well, they had a different relationship. Their sex life was based on their hatred for one another. You were still trying to get Jessica to like you.

  Storm: Yeah, but I had zero game. Even at the end…I told her I liked her!

  Giulia: Well, it was true to form.

  Storm: Yeah, but what happens after this? I mean, we got married. Are we going to have kids? A dog?

  Giulia: You could just wait and see.

  Storm: But you’re not writing the next series for a few years. Christ, even Parker gets a second book before me. He’s gonna have his whole Montana series, and I’m still gonna be waiting to hear about whether or not I have kids!

  Giulia: Just a question, but if you do have kids, what names do you like?

  Storm: You mean, I get a say in it?

  Giulia: Well, I could just pick the names for myself. Delilah for a girl and Drummond for a boy.

  Storm: Drummond? What the fuck kind of name is that?

  Giulia: Well, honestly, I’m running out of boys names, and it’s hard to keep coming up with unique names.

  Storm: So, because you chose not to give me kids in this series, I’m gonna be stuck with Drummond?

  Giulia: It could be worse. I could give you a name like…Albert.

  Storm: Albert? Seriously, woman. Do I look like a man that would give my kids such uptight names? I could maybe get on board with Delilah, but what the fuck? My son needs a manly name.

  Giulia: Okay, give me a name.

  Storm: Off the top of my head? Hawk.

  Giulia: Is your son a bird?

  Storm: Hey, we’re talking military names. It’s cool. Hawk can be a normal name or a nickname. I saw what you did with Tacos, how you screwed him over. This way, Hawk already has a nickname. No need for you to come up with some crazy name that will haunt him for the rest of his life.

  Giulia: Unless he was born on the grounds of the asylum.

  Storm: No, we’re done with that shit. We demolished that place. The spirits left the building. I saw it with my own eyes.

  Giulia: Did you? Or did you just see what I wanted you to see?

  Storm: I know what I saw.

  Giulia: Okay, I’m not saying you didn’t see ghosts. But, I’m sure you realize that since you freed those ghosts, they probably followed you home.

  Storm goes rigid, then shoves up from his chair.

  Storm: You know, it was bad enough I had to think about that shit the first time around. Now, I’m going to see that in my dreams for the next twenty years, or until you give my kids a storyline.

  He storms away and I call after him.

  Giulia: I promise not to give Drummond a storyline with ghosts!

  Alec

  Alec: Alright, let’s get this over with.

  Giulia: You know, everyone’s so happy when they come i
n here.

  Alec: Let’s get to the point so I can get home to Florrie. You want to know what’s going on in my head right now. You want to dig around so you have more tools to play with when our kids have their own books. Am I right?

  Giulia: Something like that.

  Alec: Let me tell you then. First, the fact that you had me cheat on Florrie is something I’ll never forgive you for. Yes, she was a bitch to me and treated me like shit. Playing that out in the book hurt like hell. But it hurt me even more to cheat on her.

  Giulia: That’s why it made it such a good story.

  Alec: I hated it. And then you brought in that Jamie whats-his-name. That douchebag never should have been involved.

  Giulia: He was very handsome.

  Alec: And if I see him again, I’ll throat-punch him.

  Giulia: Maybe I could do an older man, younger woman romance. Maybe with your daughter.

  Alec: That’s disgusting.

  Giulia: Just think about it, it would be like he got a piece of Florrie anyway. And you’d always have to see him at holidays. Think of all the awkward moments I could write about.

  Alec: Don’t even think about it.

  Giulia: That’s not how your mom used to do that…

  Alec: That’s not funny. And Florrie never slept with him.

  Giulia: Ah, but she did kiss him. And he will no doubt be pining over Florrie for the rest of his life.

  Alec: That’s it. I’m going to get a pine box.

  Giulia: For what?

  Alec: I have an asshole to put in the ground.

  Giulia: Good luck finding him!

  Wolf

  Craig: Hey, Giulia. Let’s keep this quick. I have to get back to Reese.

  Giulia: Do you have plans tonight?

  He looks at me funny.

  Craig: No.

  Giulia: Oh, I just thought you were in a hurry to get back to her for something special.

  Craig: Well, I was actually thinking about doing something special for this weekend.

  Giulia: What’s this weekend?

  Craig: It’s our anniversary.

  Giulia: Oh. So, it’s been a couple years since you married her?

  Craig: No, since I kidnapped her.

  Giulia: I didn’t realize that was something you would celebrate.

  Craig: See, that’s what Alec said too, but I was thinking of doing something really cool. Like, maybe I could kidnap her again.

  Giulia: Well, you’ve already done that twice. Maybe you should try something different.

  Craig: Different. I can do different.

  Giulia: Like, take her out to dinner.

  Craig: I like the way you think. We could have some wine, a couple of steaks, maybe some candlelight.

  Giulia: See? Isn’t that so much better than kidnapping?

  Craig: And just when we’re getting the tiramisu, I’ll take her to the dance floor and show her my moves.

  Giulia: She’ll love it.

  Craig: And then a fire will start in the kitchen, and the whole building will go up in flames. I’ll have to shoot out the windows and toss her out, landing gently in the bushes down below, of course.

  Giulia: Uh…

  Craig: And then it turns out that the kitchen fire was intentional and there are really mobsters after someone. They’ll surround us, forcing us back into the restaurant so they can get paid. I’ll have my weapon on me, so when I find the right moment, I’ll take them all out and save my lady love. Right?

  Giulia: Um…wow. Where to start with that… First, she wasn’t impressed at the coffee shop when you shot a bunch of people, so maybe that’s not a good idea.

  Craig: Right.

  Giulia: And, if you shot out the windows and pushed her out the window, why would you then give in to mobsters when you have a gun? Why wait until you get back into the restaurant?

  Craig: I can see your point.

  Giulia: And if there are a bunch of mobsters there, you’ll be outgunned. I think you’re more likely to get yourself shot, and you’ve already had enough of that in the short time you’ve known Reese.

  Craig clears his throat.

  Craig: So, what you’re saying is that my idea is shit.

  Giulia: I’m saying that you should do everything up until the point that you have to shove Reese through a window. And Craig, unless you start the fire, there’s no guarantee that would happen anyway.

  A grin splits his lips and he points at me.

  Craig: Giulia, I like the way you think.

  Craig gets up and walks out.

  Giulia: Craig, wait! I wasn’t suggesting you start a fire! Crap, I need to get ahold of Cap.

  Rocco

  Giulia: Hey, Rocco.

  Rocco: Alright, where is he?

  Giulia: Uh…who?

  Rocco: Knight.

  Giulia: He’s not here. This is your interview.

  Rocco: The next time I see him, I’m killing him. I don’t give a shit what he just went through. He’s gone too far this time.

  Giulia: What did he do?

  Rocco: He put a shock bracelet on Evie.

  Giulia: What’s a shock bracelet?

  Rocco: He gave her a perimeter to walk around the house. If she goes outside the perimeter, she gets shocked like a fucking dog.

  Giulia: Well, can’t you take it off?

  Rocco: No! He has some special lock on it, and he said that he can loosen up the restrictions, but he won’t remove it.

  Giulia: How did this even happen?

  Rocco: Evie was at the barbecue, and she ran out toward the tank when Alec pulled in. Knight got on my ass about it and said that if I wasn’t going to keep an eye on my kid, he would do it for me.

  Giulia: Wow, that’s harsh.

  Rocco: No shit. And he’s still monitoring my house. Brooke is fucking pissed. You know, he pops in throughout the day just to check and make sure that Evie is okay with her?

  Giulia: Well, he’s always been there for you and Evie.

  Rocco: Giulia, I have the only house that Knight can slip in and out of without anyone knowing. He can spy on us at any time. Hell, the ladies still turn on the Rocco channel whenever they’re bored. Do you know what that’s like to never know if your dick is going to be on camera?

  Giulia: I can’t say I do.

  Rocco: Well, it sucks. And he’s even worse now.

  Giulia: Why?

  Rocco: Because…because I’m trying to get Brooke pregnant.

  Giulia: Wow. I thought she didn’t want kids?

  Rocco huffs.

  Rocco: She doesn’t, but that doesn’t mean I’m giving in. I told Knight not to turn off the cameras just so I could keep an eye on her throughout the day. You know, so I could judge what night was Go Night.

  Giulia: Go Night?

  Rocco: You know, the night that I use my best moves to persuade her to have a baby.

  Giulia: So, you still have the cameras rolling when you’re having sex?

  Rocco: Yeah, like I could actually convince Knight to shut them off at specific times.

  I pull out my phone and start texting.

  Rocco: What are you doing?

  Giulia: Texting Knight.

  Rocco: Why?

  Giulia: So I can get the footage. For research, of course.

  Rocco: I wasn’t— I wasn’t serious!

  Giulia: Well, now you have me curious.

  Rocco: You know, I came to you for help, not so you could join everyone else in watching me fuck my woman.

  Giulia: Hmmm, that’s an interesting idea. All the men of Reed Security on TV for my own personal enjoyment.

  Coop

  Coop: Thanks, Giulia. I really fucking hate being here today, but Cap made me do it.

  Giulia: Well, since I wrote your character, you really have no choice in the matter.

  Coop: Yeah, I really appreciate that. *eye roll*

  Giulia: So, Coop, how are things going with Becky now? Do I hear wedding bells in the future?

  Coop: Yeah, but
you're not invited.

  Giulia: That makes me kind of sad.

  Coop: Yeah, I'm in tears over here.

  Giulia: Will Hunter be officiating?

  Coop: That's highly unlikely. You've seen the way he fucks up a ceremony.

  Giulia: But it's tradition...

  Coop: So is Christmas, but not everyone celebrates.

  Giulia: Okay then. So, how do you feel about your entire life being put on display for all these readers?

  Coop: Yeah, that's another thing I want to talk to you about. I didn't ask for you to talk about all the shit I've been through.

  Giulia: Well, if I didn't talk about it, nobody would be reading my books, and then you wouldn't exist. In fact, you all threatened to come to my house and convince me to not kill any of you off. I have the pages that were written by one of my readers.

  Coop: Can you blame us for wanting to stay alive?

  Giulia: Exactly my point. So, if you want to stay relevant at Reed Security, you're going to have to open up and tell us all about how you're feeling. Now's your chance.

  Coop: Look, I'm not gonna grab a Shirley Temple and tell you all about how I'm feeling. I'm pretty sure we've already done this in the book. If you want to know what happens, read the fucking book. I don't really need to rehash my assholery with all of you here today.

  Giulia: Speaking of which, I have one last question, Coop.

  Coop: I'm on the edge of my seat.

  Giulia: So, this new bromance with Chance, are we going to see more of this in future books?

  Coop: First of all, there's no bromance with Chance-

  Giulia: You had drinks.

  Coop: Guys drink together all the time.

  Giulia: He had a Shirley Temple.

  Coop: It doesn't fucking matter what he drank! There's no bromance. We sat and talked shit out. End of story.

  Giulia: I think the readers are going to be pretty disappointed by that.

  Coop: Do I look like I give a fuck?

  Giulia: Right, you're looking a little testy right now.

  Coop: You think?

  Giulia: Let's leave it here. I think your book will actually make you look better than you do in this interview.