Beautifully Damaged

by L. A. Fiore

  "Agreed."

  He tugged on a lock of my hair which had me pulling my attention from Trace and Chelsea to look up at him.

  "I am so happy that you two are back together. He's happier than I've ever seen him."

  "He makes me happy, too."

  "I can see that. Are you ready for the second part of his gift?"

  "Yes, I think."

  "I am so looking forward to his reaction."

  "Stop, I'm nervous enough."

  "...with good reason. Let's check on the lasagna."

  I sat at the table and watched Trace, with Rafe and Chelsea, and my heart ached because he had so much to give and yet he still believed that he was unworthy. Chelsea was telling Trace about our day out and showing him, for the hundredth time, her new necklace.

  She looked so much like him. The eyes were different, his blue and hers gray, but the shape of their eyes, their noses and lips and their bone structure -- there was no denying they were related. What would she have been like had the accident not happened? Would she have suffered in self-esteem, as Trace did? Would she have closed off and lived a shell of an existence or would she have found her way through it, together, would they both have?

  I wasn't really listening to the conversation so was taken a bit by surprise when I saw that three sets of eyes were looking at me, two of which looked angry, which had the alarm bells going off in my head.

  "What?"

  Trace's voice was very soft when he asked, "Who approached you at the Rose Room?"

  "Oh, that. It was nothing," I said as I stood and started collecting plates. I tried to dismiss his question since I didn't want the beauty of the evening ruined by Lena but Trace wasn't having any of that.

  "Ember?"

  I straightened and met his gaze and I knew by the rigid set of his shoulders and the hardness of his jaw that he wasn't going to relent so I answered him. "Lena."

  His eyes turned into two pieces of ice and his voice was eerily soft when he asked, "Was Todd there?"

  "No, and I handled it."

  "Meaning?" This coming from Rafe who I realized was just as angry as Trace.

  "Let's just say I don't see her bothering me again," I offered as I collected a few more plates and started from the room.

  "Ember."

  "Stop!" I turned back to them with angry tears burning in my eyes because I was furious that Lena had the power to fuck things up and not even be in the damn room.

  "I won't have tonight ruined over her."

  I started out of the room again when Chelsea's voice stopped me dead.

  "Ember punched her in the face, hard."

  I lowered my head and waited for the lecture from one or both of them but when it didn't come I looked back at them from over my shoulder to find them grinning at me. There was a note of admiration in Trace's voice when he said, "Way to go, slugger."

  Rafe held up his wine glass in salute to me. "Sorry we missed it."

  I snorted before I said, "You're both juveniles." And then I started towards the kitchen again as the sound of their laughter followed after me.

  I was just finishing stacking the dishes in the dishwasher when Trace entered. He stopped just in the threshold and leaned up against the doorjamb.

  "Thank you for tonight, Ember."

  "You're welcome."

  "I don't want to talk about Lena either but if Todd or Dane approach you, you have to tell me."

  l felt my heart drop at those words as an unpleasant sensation filled me. I somehow managed to ask, "Why?"

  He walked to me and wrapped his arms around my waist and looked at me with such affection that I felt my blood warm.

  "You are the most important thing in my life and I need to keep you safe. Those two are assholes -- I know the type -- and that makes me worried for you. If Lena is comfortable enough to approach you then Todd and Dane will be, too. I don't want them anywhere near you, Ember."

  "Okay."

  He ran his finger along my jaw before he touched my chin and lifted my gaze to his. "You'll tell me, right?"

  I felt like shit lying to him, keeping it from him that Dane had already approached me, but I didn't want to ruin his evening so I held his gaze and gave him the answer he was looking forward and promised myself that I would tell him in the morning.

  "Yes."

  He lowered his head to brush his lips over mine before he pulled back and grinned.

  "Thank you."

  Self-loathing filled me as I looked at him and tried for a smile before I asked, "Are you ready for cake?"

  A few hours later Chelsea was back home while Rafe, Trace and I sat at a club having a drink. My spirits had taken a hit since I hated that I lied to Trace but didn't he deserve at least one good birthday? So, yes, I felt like shit but he seemed happier than I'd ever seen him and because of that I had to believe that my deception wasn't all bad. We were here for the second part of Trace's birthday gift. I had to be on drugs to go through with it but I loved him -- tripping out of my head for the man -- so when I got the signal I stood.

  "Excuse me, I need to use the ladies' room."

  "I'll take you." Trace offered as he started to stand but I stayed that with a hand on his shoulder.

  "No, I'll be fine. I'll just be a moment."

  "Okay."

  He stood anyway and pulled me into his arms as his lips brushed over my cheek before lingering over my ear.

  "Thank you."

  He pulled back, and touched my cheek, as his eyes held mine. "It was exactly how I wanted to spend my birthday."

  He pressed his lips to mine before his tongue ran along my lower lip. He pulled back from me and grinned.

  "Well, almost exactly."

  I blushed and he laughed as he released me so I could walk away on unsteady legs. I moved to the back of the club before slipping into a small dressing room back stage.

  Oh, I so should have had a bit more to drink before doing this. I quickly changed my clothes and applied some makeup before I looked at myself in the mirror and blushed at the image looking back at me. I was dressed in a cropped black leather halter top, a short black leather skirt that was pushed low on my hips so that my tattoo showed and black leather stiletto pumps. My hair was pulled up into a knot, my eyes were lined in black and my lips were painted a fire engine, glossy red.

  When the first strains of Candyman started, I almost lost my dinner, but I forced myself to walk out onto the stage. Trace and Rafe were in the front so even with the stage lights on I could see them. It took Trace a moment to understand what was going on because he was looking for me to return from the ladies' room. As soon as he recognized the song his eyes moved to the stage just as I walked out onto it. The look on his face when he realized who it was and what I was doing was priceless. I moved across the stage to stand in front of the backup singers and when I started to sing he just leaned back in his chair and watched with an inscrutable expression on his face.

  Throughout the song my eyes stayed only on his and the intimacy of it, even though we were in a room filled with people, was undeniable. At one point, I walked from the stage right to him as I sang only to him. I straddled his lap as he gripped my hips to press me up against the hard length that was straining his jeans; my voice went husky. I managed to free myself and moved back up onto the stage to finish the song.

  Once the last note faded the crowd roared. I stood there looking only at Trace and then he stood, all six-feet-four-inches of him, and when he started towards the stage I felt my heart pounding wildly in my chest. He stopped just in front of me and the look on his face was indescribable.

  "Happy Birthday," I whispered.

  He lifted me into his arms as his mouth fused to mine and clearly the crowd liked that when they roared in approval. When he pulled back, the look of wild lust burning in his eyes had my stomach clenching hard.

  "That was so fucking hot," he whispered before he started from the stage.

  "Where are you taking me?"

  He didn't an
swer but then he didn't have to since his eyes were speaking volumes. Not wishing to have a romance novel moment right there for all eyes to see I somehow managed to steer him to the small dressing room I had used to change. When we were locked in the room Trace turned so I was pressed between the door and his hard body. I wrapped my legs around his waist as his mouth captured mine while his fingers moved under my skirt and past the barrier of my panties. When he touched me I heard him growl as I worked his zipper to free him. He wasted no time and, with one powerful thrust, he was inside me. I threw my head back and moaned as he moved, almost violently, between my thighs.

  "Oh god, you feel so good, Trace."

  His mouth burned a trail down my neck with hot wet kisses along the column of my throat. Each thrust of his hips brought me closer and closer but it was when he bit me, hard, that I came apart. My orgasm was so fierce it brought tears to my eyes. I felt him tense and right before he came he growled,

  "Mine, Ember, you are mine." And then his face froze in harsh ecstasy as he continued to push into me to rub out the last of his release. He lowered his forehead to my shoulder as his lips touched my neck before he whispered, "You did it, you sang for me. I thought you had to be tripping and out of your head for a guy."

  "Exactly."

  I could feel the curve of his lips against my neck before he added, "This was the best fucking birthday, ever."

  Chapter Nineteen

  It was several days past Trace's birthday and I had still not told him about Dane. I steeled myself for the encounter and walked down the hall to his office. I rubbed my sweaty palms on my thighs before I knocked lightly on the door.

  "Come in."

  When I entered I took a moment to just admire Trace. He was behind his desk dressed in a t-shirt and sweats but somehow he looked perfect sitting there. I could even take the vision of him further and see him dressed to the nines running a huge corporation. Even though his self-esteem had taken a major hit, there was still a quiet confidence that exuded from him. I wouldn't call him a perfectionist but the man, when doing something, did it right.

  He looked up, probably because I had yet to speak, and the smile that spread over his face was breathtaking. Just two months before he wouldn't have done that: smiled so naturally and unguarded. He was healing, whether he knew it or not.

  "Hello, beautiful. What's up?"

  I moved towards him and placed my hands on the back of one of the leather chairs that sat just in front of his desk. "I need to tell you something."

  He leaned back in his chair and his eyes never left me when he asked, "Is everything okay?"

  "Yes, but I should have told you before and I didn't because I didn't want to ruin your birthday."

  Trace stood and moved from around the desk to take me into his arms.

  "Ember, just tell me."

  I pressed my face into his chest and closed my eyes as I sought additional strength because I knew as soon as the words were out he was going to go berserk. I took a deep breath and then just said it.

  "Dane came into Clover and threatened me."

  The gentle stroking that Trace was doing to soothe me stopped as he went completely still. I risked a look up at him and saw that he was clenching his jaw and his eyes had turned hard and cold.

  "When?"

  "...a few days before my outing with Chelsea."

  He pulled away from me and put some distance between us since his hands were probably just itching to put me over his knee so he could spank me. He reached the other side of the room before he turned back to me and asked, "What did he say to you?"

  "He said that he was glad my guardian was no longer an issue and that he planned on finishing what he started."

  Trace was clenching his fists so hard that the tendons were bulging and turning white from lack of blood flow. His voice was soft, menacingly so, when he asked, "Did he touch you?"

  "He grabbed my wrist but Trent was there and made him release me."

  "You should have told me, Ember. I asked you to tell me if either of them approached you and the day I asked this of you, you looked me in the face and lied."

  "I know and I'm sorry. I just didn't want to ruin your birthday."

  "And if he had gotten his hands on you and hurt you, don't you think that would have fucking ruined my birthday? If he had played out whatever sick fantasy he's got in his head, don't you think that would have ruined my fucking birthday?"

  He fell silent as his body just pulsed with rage. I was afraid because Trace reminded me of a rattle snake that was poised and ready to strike. He grabbed a paperweight from his desk and hurled it across the room with such force that it got embedded into the solid oak door. He started from the room and I knew that if he left the house, as angry as he had been, that he was going to kill someone.

  "Please, Trace, stay here."

  He moved down the hall with determined strides as I hurried to catch up to him.

  "Please, calm down first."

  I had never seen Trace like this. He was completely unreachable and I knew that part of what was fueling him stemmed from his past and his inability, at least in his mind, to protect his sister. I wasn't going to get through to him, because he was too far gone, but he needed to know it all.

  "Trace, there's more; Heidi was with him."

  He stopped, mid-stride, and turned his head to me and I could tell we were thinking the exact same thing: "what the fuck."

  "She seemed genuinely upset that we didn't stay together but it was no coincidence that she and Dane were together. I know you're mad but I did tell Rafe about the encounter and Trent was there. I've been very careful."

  "And yet a few days after this you went out alone with Chelsea."

  My heart nearly stopped as tears started burning my eyes because I realized where Trace's thoughts were going. Jesus, I didn't even think of that.

  "Trace, I would never intentionally put her in harm."

  He took a few steps closer to me before he hissed, "Regardless of intent, Ember, what would you have done if it hadn't been Lena that approached you that day? What if it had been Dane or Todd or both? You didn't just put yourself at risk you also put Chelsea at risk and she's been through enough in her young life. Until I handle Dane, I want you to stay away from her," and then he turned and walked out.

  I just stood there staring at the door unable to get my feet to move because I was really fucking angry; he lumped me in with all those who were out to get him and his sister. I suppose if I was being completely truthful, there was a nice dose of hurt there, too, because he walked out. I had always thought myself a mild-tempered person but Trace has the power to make me deliriously happy, heartbreakingly sad and really fucking angry. I'd cried more since I've known him than I had in all of my life up to that point. I suppose there really is some merit to the expression, "there is a fine line between love and hate". I'm not sure how much time passed, no more than five or ten minutes, when the door opened and Trace walked back into the apartment. He closed the door behind him before leaning back against it. The look of contrition burning in his eyes made my heart sigh. He shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans as he looked at me.

  "I walked away again."

  "...but you came back."

  There was a ghost of a smile tugging on his mouth before he replied,"I suppose that's progress."

  "...it is, Trace."

  "I'm sorry about what I said to you regarding Chelsea. She's very lucky to have you."

  I said nothing for a few moments as I worked to calm my temper. I understood what fueled him -- what had him saying what he did -- but still for him to have said those words to me wasn't fair. I knew it was just another instinct honed from years of abuse and neglect and it was because of this that I bit my tongue instead of slaying him alive. My eyes never left his so I saw that he was worried which had me offering, "You were right, Trace, in that I should have been more careful and not put her in that situation. I didn't think it through and for that, I am really sorry
."

  "No, what I said was cruel, Ember, cruel and untrue. My lashing out at you was instinct but that doesn't make it right. Chelsea and I are both very lucky to have you in our lives. Forgive me."

  I smiled since I liked his words, a lot.

  "I forgive you." and then I said, "About Dane."

  He moved from the wall and walked over to pull me into his arms.

  "I can't talk about that right now. Just thinking about that motherfucker makes me homicidal. I need some time to cool off. I'll be in my office."

  "Okay."

  He pressed a kiss on my forehead before he released me and started down the hall. He was halfway to his office when I called to him.

  "I know this is hard for you, going against instinct, but thank you for coming back."

  He stopped and looked back at me from over his shoulder. "On the contrary, it was surprisingly easy, Ember, because I was coming back to you."

  My heart swelled with love as I watched him disappear into his office and then I did a little victory dance. He walked away but he came back, that was most definitely progress.

  Later that night I was making dinner when I heard the door to Trace's office open. The sound of his footsteps down the hall had my heart fluttering. I turned my head just as he appeared in the doorway. He leaned up against the doorjamb as his hands found the pockets of his jeans. I turned more fully around so I could just stare. Damn, the man was beautiful.

  A smile touched his lips before he said, "We need to talk about Dane."

  "Okay."

  "He's a sociopath, Ember, and for whatever reason he's fixated on you. You're going to have to be really careful when you are out and about. Ideally, I would rather you not be out on your own, not until we handle him, but I won't ask that of you."

  "How exactly are we going to handle him?"

  He clenched his jaw as his eyes sparked with fury before he said, "I want to rip his fucking head off and throw his body in the Hudson but I imagine that would be frowned upon."

  "Probably, but not by me."

  "Seriously, Ember, I don't know what we're going to do about him but you have to be extremely careful."

  "Okay."