BLISS

by A. R. Breck

  “You fucking bastard! What right do you have to ask me something like that?”

  “I have the fucking right the moment I stuck my fingers inside your pussy and you had yours wrapped around my cock. I have the fucking right the moment I had you in my pantry, pinned up against the wall with my tongue down your throat. I have. The fucking. Right, damnit!”

  “What about you? Is that where you’ve been all week? At Lacy’s house? Sticking your dick in that gothic slut?”

  Aeron lets out a mean laugh as he looks at me. “You’re barking up the wrong tree, little girl.” He shakes his head, “And if I’m not mistaken, I would have to say you sound a tiny bit jealous.”

  I give him a nasty scowl and ask, “Look, do you have the pills or not? I have to get back to Aric.”

  He steps away from the door. “Don’t let me keep you, then.”

  I slap my hands against my bare legs, more frustrated than ever. “Please, Aeron! I can’t sleep without them! I’m so tired, but I can’t sleep! Please!” I feel tears build up in my eyes. I’ve been feeling extra emotional lately. My mom’s birthday is coming up and I haven’t told anyone. I plan to feign sickness and sleep the entire day away.

  Aeron frowns a bit and then sighs, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small baggie of pills. “I’ll make a deal with you.”

  I don’t like the sound of this. “What?”

  “I’ll give you this bag of goodies, if you promise you won’t fuck my brother.”

  My jaw drops open, shocked he would even say such a thing. “Are you—what the hell?”

  “That’s the only way you get these is if you don’t screw my brother.”

  “I can’t believe you’re asking me this.”

  He grows angry and growls out, “Is it seriously too much to ask for you to not fuck him?”

  “No, I mean yes. I mean, fuck! Fine!” I run my hand down my face. In no way can I tell him that his brother and I have been growing closer. And although I wasn’t planning on having sex with him anytime soon, how long is this charade supposed to go on for? Am I not supposed to have sex with him for a week? For the year? Forever? I decide not to ask, I don’t want to hear the answer.

  “But then you can’t sleep with Lacy.”

  He rolls his eyes. “Sure, whatever. Wasn’t planning to, anyway.”

  “But—” I start, but he cuts me off.

  “Yeah. I know. It’s not… never mind. It’s not worth it. I’m not going to sleep with her, okay?” He leans down and gives me an earnest look, and I drink it up like a full glass of water and nod my head.

  “Good.” He opens the baggie and takes out couple. “You only need one or two. These are really strong, so don’t ever take more than two.”

  I nod my head, mouth salivating at the thought of being numb again. The pain I’ve been feeling this past week has been brutal. I haven’t felt like myself.

  Or maybe I have, and I just don’t want to feel like myself for a little while.

  “Tilt your head back.” I do as he says. “Open up.” I open my mouth, and ever so slowly he drops the pill on my tongue. His finger is slow to go, lingering in my mouth and making me grow wet between my legs. “Now swallow it down.” He whispers in my ear.

  I grab the drink that I can’t believe I’ve still been able to hold onto and take a swig to wash down the pill.

  “Now, I wanted to show you one other way to take these. This way will make it hit harder and faster. Have you ever snorted anything?”

  My eyes grow wide. “What? No. I don’t want to snort anything. I just want to take a couple pills to help me sleep at night.”

  He ignores me as he continues saying, “It’s not the most pleasant sensation in the world, but it flows through your system quicker. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to do it again. But, at least I’ve shown you how to do it.” He turns us around to the bathroom sink and lifts up the little plastic pill in his hand. “All you have to do is pull apart the plastic shell of the pill and collect all the medicine that’s inside.” He pulls apart the plastic casing and little white pebbles fall across the bathroom sink.

  I can honestly say, I’ve never in a million years thought that I’d ever be taking drugs, or snorting drugs for that matter. I can barely think about what my parents would think if they saw me. But I refuse to even think about that. I don’t want to feel the pain anymore. I’m going to choose to ignore it.

  Ignorance is bliss, after all.

  Using his pinky, he makes a skinny white line along the counter, and then grabbing two more, making a separate line on the other side of the sink. I’m guessing that’s his own line.

  “Now all you have to do is just sniff it up. Plug your other nostril so it’s easier to snort.”

  I stand there and stare at the two separate lines that look similar to what I’m sure a line of cocaine looks like. It makes me even ten times more apprehensive on doing this.

  “I don’t know about this.” I whisper. “I think I’d rather just swallow them. It’s so much easier. Less messy. Why would anyone do this?”

  “Shut up, Mercy, and try it. Okay? I’ll do it with you.” He walks around me to stand near the larger line. Bending down, he waits for me to get into position with him. Using my left hand, I plug my left nostril as I bend down, just inches from the line. He does the same, only plugging his right nostril with his right hand.

  “Ready?” He rasps, getting a twinkle in his eyes.

  Looking so deeply into his eyes, I realize that I can trust him. As much as I hate him at times and as big of a dick that he can be, I trust him.

  “Ready.” I whisper, and together, we lean down and snort up the white magic powder. Almost instantly, I feel a burn deep in my sinuses. I can feel the graininess in the back of my throat from whatever the hell this just is.

  But more than that, I instantly feel like I did last weekend. Lightheaded, numb. High.

  Slowly—or maybe it’s the pills already—Aeron moves towards me and reaches down, grabbing onto my hips, intending on lifting me on top of the counter. Suddenly, I remember what I was supposed to be doing.

  “Shit, Aric.” I push his hands away and stand up, straightening my clothes.

  Aeron drops his head into my collar bone and groans. “Are you fucking kidding me? I get you high as shit and all you can think about is my damn brother?”

  “No. I just told him I’m going to the bathroom quick. I bet he’s looking for me. I have to go.” I feel so incredibly high that I can barely see straight, but I still manage to spit out that entire sentence.

  Aeron growls deep in his throat before nodding. “Fine.” He grabs the baggie with the rest of his pills and reaches forward, sliding them into my bra. On his way out, his finger grazes my nipple and he gives it a little squeeze. “When I get home tonight, you better be in your bed. Alone.” He bends down and kisses me on my neck behind my ear, and shivers break out along my spine.

  I whimper in the back of my throat when he pulls away. I’m so turned on all of the sudden. I could scream. It feels like the step in the wrong direction could set me off.

  I’m about to ask Aeron to just finish me off quick when Aric pops into my head again. Shit, I really have to go. “Later.” I whisper, too afraid to say anything else.

  Opening the bathroom door, a rush of cool air slaps me in the face. It sobers me a little, but I still remain in a fog as I bump my way through people on my way to the front door. Once I get close enough, I see Aric trying to push his way through with his friends in tow.

  “Hey, what took you so long?” He asks on a rush.

  I move my tongue around in my mouth to get the blood flowing. It feels like my tongue grew about ten pounds. “It’s just a lot of people.” I sigh.

  I feel so good.

  He gives me a funny look. “What’s wrong with you? Are you high?”

  I wrinkle my nose and shake my head. “No! I just… had another drink. I’m feeling kind of drunk, actually.”

  I turn
towards his friends and give them a small wave when I feel Aric’s arm curl around my waist. His fingers grip my hip tightly, and I try not to look in his searching eyes. He’s been around his brother enough. I’m sure he could figure it out if he tried hard enough.

  I just hope it doesn’t get to that.

  “I’m trying to get myself a drink is all I know.” Declan says, rubbing at his stomach and watching a pair of girls walk by in bikinis.

  “Let’s go outside. It’s hot as fuck in here.” Luke says, turning and walking back the way he came. We all follow, and I’m relieved that his friends are here to distract him. At least a little bit.

  It’s dark out now, and string lights and tiki torches line the house and make the yard glow.

  Music blares from the speakers and people dance all throughout the yard. There is a homemade slip and slide made from tarps all slapped together and the water hose that’s hooked up to the house continuously sprays water all along the blue plastic.

  A couple of girls run and slide down on their stomachs. And they’re topless.

  I turn around so I don’t stare. The pills have kicked in and I feel weightless as I float along next to Aric as we walk towards the beer pong table.

  The guys have decided to play a round, and I don’t feel like boring myself to death, so I walk over next to the circle of people dancing without a care in the world and start dancing with them.

  I lift my arms and twirl around, giggling as the world spins with me. I feel my heart swell in my chest at the warmness surrounding me. I feel good. No, I feel great.

  I dance through multiple songs, but exhaustion doesn’t hit me. I feel like a superhuman when I take these pills. I feel like I could go for hours without running out of breath.

  I feel like I can conquer the world.

  Some people in the group leave while others come to dance. A few girls come and dance next to me, and we hold each other’s hands above our heads as we swing each other around.

  Sweat breaks out along my body and I feel alive.

  My fingers tingle and the hair along my arms stand on end in exhilaration. I feel like if I jumped, I could reach the stars.

  Maybe even grab onto one and bring it down to earth with me.

  Seeing a nearby empty table, the thought of reaching the stars almost seems attainable as I walk over to the nearby chair, almost busting my ass as it wobbles on my way up. I stand on the table and run my hands through my hair. I sing along to Wiz Khalifa as he sings about how good smoking weed is, even though I have no idea what it’s really like.

  Maybe I will, though. Maybe this is supposed to be my experimental period where I make mistakes and eventually learn from them.

  This doesn’t feel like making a mistake, though. This feels like I’m being healed from everything that’s broken inside of me.

  I feel almost complete.

  Almost.

  What’s missing?

  When I look down, it’s like I’m slapped in the face as I stare right into the eyes of Aeron. His smokey eyes burn as they watch me move. The rove up and down my bare legs and it feels like a burning fire scorches along its path.

  I feel on fire.

  I close my eyes and tip my head back, imagining Aeron as he runs his fingers along my body in the pool. Imagining his fingers inside of me as my own grasp his hard length. I imagine—

  Suddenly, I’m lifted in the air, and I’m about to yelp and yell at Aeron when I come face to face with the molten lava eyes of Aric.

  I flip my head around and look where Aeron once was, only to find him gone now. I lift my head back and look at Aric. He’s scowling at me. It looks like a mix between intensely aroused and overwhelmingly angry. I can’t tell which one is the dominant emotion. All I do know is, my overheated body heats even more at the thought of Aric’s thread breaking. It seems like too many people tip toe around me. Maybe that’s a reason why I’m tethered to Aeron. He doesn’t treat me like a glass doll.

  I don’t want to be treated with tender hands and soft whispers.

  Maybe I want to break.

  Aric mumbles something to his friends as we pass, and I give them an upside-down wave as we pass. They give me a small wave with laughter in their eyes, although their wide eyes make them look like cartoon characters.

  Or maybe it’s the drugs.

  I laugh to myself as Aric walks around the house and back to his car.

  “We’re leaving so soon?” My question is met with silence.

  “Party pooper.” I mumble under my breath, and I’m pretty positive I hear a snort, but being upside down is making all the blood flood to my head and my ears start whooshing.

  Ugh, this doesn’t feel great.

  In the next breath, I’m flipped right side up and slammed into the door of Aric’s truck. “I know you’re high.” Aric growls.

  “I’m—” I start, but Aric whips his hand up to my lips to stop my lie.

  “Don’t fucking lie to me, Mercy. I know what being fucked up on pills looks like, and you’re a prime example of a first timer.” He shakes his head at me. “Who gave it to you? Was it my brother?” His neck turns purple in anger. I swallow down my nerves as I think of something to say.

  “N-no. One of his friends, I think. There was a group of people… I’m sorry.” My voice wobbles as the flame I was high on earlier starts to get snuffed out. I don’t like this feeling. I reach up and run a hand across my chest, letting out a little sigh of relief when I feel the little baggie sitting beneath my bra.

  I shouldn’t take anymore tonight, but I’m glad I’ll have them for the coming nights.

  “You shouldn’t be taking that shit, Mercy.” Aric spits, anger flooding his face.

  “I’m sorry.” I don’t know what else to say, watching him as his usual playful self turns into someone I’ve never seen before.

  Shockingly, I like this side of him.

  He walks away, then turns around and walks towards me with his finger pointed at me. Then he stops. He takes a breath, turns back towards the trees and lets out a sigh. Suddenly, he turns back around and this time, he doesn’t stop.

  “Do you know what seeing you like that does to me? Up on that table, wild and unaware of everyone else. Free. Mercy… I’ve never seen you like that since you’ve been here. You let go, but what you did up there?” He points back to the party raging on in the distance, “I’ve never you seen so… alive.” He lowers his finger and comes within breathing distance. I can smell the beer on his breath and see his wild eyes as they swirl with the weight of a humid day. Full of heat and warmth and a heaviness I can taste. “You’ve never been more beautiful.”

  He leans forward, capturing my mouth between his and groaning into my mouth. He reaches forward with his hands and grabs onto my hips, pulling them up against his pelvis so I can feel his hard on.

  Holy fuck, that is one hell of a hard on.

  I reach up, pulling on his hair, loving the way the silky strands fall through my fingers. Everything feels electrified right now, and I never want these feelings to end.

  Aric feels perfect as he nips at my lips, his body melds to mine, his hard one against my soft one. Like untouched sand against jagged rocks. It feels like heaven, how he holds me, how he kisses me. I can’t imagine being anywhere else in this moment.

  I rub up against him, and he reaches around and grips my ass, lifting me up so I’m pinned against his truck. I grind down on him, breaking free from his lips and letting out a moan against his ear as he hits that perfect spot that makes stars dance along my vision.

  “Oh, God.” I moan, feeling myself start to heat deep in my belly, the grinding of him and me together too much. Just too fucking much.

  “Whoops. Sorry.” Someone apologizes from a few feet away, sounding stiff and irritated.

  Angry, actually.

  Aric releases me with a gasp, and wiggling in his arms, he lets me down on the ground. Turning around, we see Aeron standing there in the middle of the road, a cigarette perched betwe
en his lips and his hand in the pocket of his basketball shorts.

  Guilt eats at me as I drink in the view. He really is a sight to behold, with his tattoos starting at the middle of his neck and ending at the bottom of his calves. His basic black t-shirt sways with the breeze, and I do know that beneath it lays a masterpiece of artwork.

  I’m just not sure what’s beneath his shorts.

  Are his butt cheeks tattooed?

  Oh, God.

  How can I be attracted to both of these brothers, who are polar opposites?

  Aric scowls from beside me, his brown hair unruly from my fingers. His strong jaw clenches in aggravation that he was interrupted. Also in a t-shirt, his body much more defined from the sports he plays as it stretches across his biceps and chest. He’s wearing a pair of joggers and Nike’s to top off his look.

  They both look so similar in some ways, but in others… in other ways they look like complete opposites.

  “What’re you doin’, man?” Aric stands next to me, his low voice giving away his annoyance. I glance over at him and watch his fists clench at his sides.

  “Just taking a walk.” He pinches his cigarette between his thumb and forefinger before swinging it at the both of us. “Where are you guys off to?” His gaze doesn’t land on me long, but the way he’s holding himself seems off. He looks rigid.

  His voice is filled with tension that sounds like a rope pulled tight. Too tight.

  I step out from in between them. If they’re going to fight, there is no way I want to be in the middle of it.

  “Headed home to watch a movie.” Aric looks at me funny when he notices I stepped away from him. I give him a smile and turn to Aeron.

  “I’m tired.” I try to ease the tension with my voice, but if anything, it makes Aeron look even angrier.

  He throws his cigarette on the ground and snubs it out with the toe of his shoe.

  Giving me one last searing look, he turns around and says on his way back towards the house, “I’ll be home later.”

  His stiff gait shows how much effort it takes him to walk away. His words, though, sounded more like ‘you better not sleep with my fucking brother’.