Before We Say Goodbye

by Michelle Pennington

  The next thing I knew, something tickled my nose. I didn’t open my eyes though.

  I had been around my friends enough to know that if you were dumb enough to fall asleep around one of them, chances were good they were going to mess with you. I’d learned not to hold back when retaliating.

  Without even fluttering my eyelashes, I shot my hand out and grabbed their hair. I pulled, hard. I registered how short the hair was in the same moment I heard…not a squeal, but a low yelp. My eyes shot open. “Crap, Tate. Sorry.” I let go of his hair.

  “Do you always attack people in your sleep?”

  “Yes,” I said, in case he ever decided to mess with me again.

  He grinned. “Noted.”

  I sat up and looked around, noticing that the room was empty except for us. “Where is everyone?”

  “Outside setting up for your birthday party. I was sent to wake you up before you missed all the fun.”

  “Seriously? You guys are having a party for me?”

  “Yeah. We figured you’d want to spend tomorrow with your mom, but turning eighteen is a big deal.” He cleared his throat and leaned closer even though we were alone. “Especially since I’d prefer to not have a minor for a girlfriend.”

  I pushed at his shoulders, knocking him slightly off balance from his squatting position, and stood up. “Who said I was your girlfriend anyway?”

  His slow smile was a tad confident as his hand found mine. He held it for a moment, running his thumb gently over the back of my hand. “Not me. I’m waiting till you’re eighteen, remember?”

  I scoffed at that. And I was an excellent scoffer. “But you can kiss me?”

  “Oh, thanks. Don’t mind if I do.” He swooped in and kissed me for far too long considering someone could walk in on us at any moment, but also far too briefly to satisfy me.

  “Tate!”

  “Don’t worry. Piper is busy bossing everyone around out there. Want to go out?”

  “Only because I can’t stay in here and make out with you,” I whispered.

  His eyes lit up. “Change of plans. Let’s go somewhere else.”

  Lights flashed through the French doors from the backyard and music turned on somewhere. I turned and moved to the window to see what was going on. Piper stood under a palm tree watching the twins, Zane and Cooper, string paper lanterns with lights across the big paved patio that surrounded the pool. Dane and Ridge had arrived while I was asleep as well, and the new girl helped Sadie and Liv arrange a table with snacks, a giant cake, and pictures of me as a kid.

  With the music playing now, it definitely looked like things were getting going. “Awesome,” I said, opening the door and rushing outside.

  As soon as I came through, my friends came over to hug me and wish me a happy birthday. There were even a few presents sitting next to a big cake at one end of the refreshment table. Tate continued to follow me as I went towards the table. “So, did you happen to get me a present?” I asked.

  “Not yet, but I have plans,” he said, sounding a little embarrassed.

  I said. “Just give me my shoes and I’ll be happy.”

  His amused chuckle warned me that I was going to be disappointed. “No way. I’m keeping those for a while.”

  I shrugged. “Fine. But I’m warning you—I’m going to sneak in and get them when you’re asleep tonight.”

  “Yeah…no you’re not. That would be a very, very bad idea.”

  “Why?”

  His jaw clenched. “If you’ll think about it for a second, I’m sure you’ll figure it out. In fact, I have started looking for an apartment because it just isn’t going to work for me to have you sleeping under the same roof as me.”

  I stopped in my tracks and turned to stare at him. “You’re moving out?”

  “Yeah. I won’t be far away, but it’s time, right?”

  “What do you mean it’s time?”

  “It’s time to get my life going. I’ve been drifting for too long, just doing whatever was easiest.”

  I laughed. “The work you do every day is far from easy.”

  His lips slowly pulled into a smile. “True, but that’s different than making decisions in a way, you know?”

  “Oh man, do I ever. But why now?”

  A burst of laughter drew our attention to Ridge and Dante listening to some story the new girl was telling. While I tried to figure out what was so funny, Tate said, “I think I was just in limbo waiting for you and now it’s time to grow up too.”

  My eyes shot back to his, trying to understand what he’d meant—hoping it meant what it sounded like.

  Cooper stepped up on a chair and waved his arms. “Attention. Hey, all of you shut up for a second. We’re going to sing to the birthday girl now.”

  “Oh no,” I groaned. “Really, you guys don’t have to.”

  But Tate just grinned and pulled me toward the middle of the deck, his hand on the center of my back.

  When everyone came close, all smiling at me, I realized I was way out of my comfort zone. There were so many people standing around on the patio and next to the pool that I had a hard time focusing on anybody, especially when they all started singing the birthday song to me.

  But soon I picked out Liv standing next to Cooper, with Zane beside him. Dante leaned against a tree looking way too cool as usual with the pretty red-head he’d brought to the beach the other day. Sadie and Piper walked toward me holding a giant cake covered in all kinds of candy—they knew me so well—and eighteen candles. At least I assumed they’d counted right, but it I couldn’t tell since there was just a mass of flaming, melting wax in the center of the cake.

  As soon as the song ended, I bent forward to blow out the candles. My hair fell forward too, right into the flames. I’d barely registered this enough to panic when I heard a curse beside me right as Tate pulled my hair back out of the way.

  “Blow out the freaking candles, Kat,” he said, half amused, half worried.

  I laughed, took a deep breath, and did my best. But in the end, Tate had to help me because the candles had become more of a bonfire. The cloud of smoke coming off the blackened wicks choked me and I had to turn away for air.

  “Go, Kat,” one of the guys called as everyone laughed and cheered.

  “You okay?” Tate asked.

  I nodded, completely embarrassed, and grabbed the chunk of hair I’d nearly caught on fire. The ends were slightly…singed. “Only I would do something like that, right?”

  He laughed and pushed the hair back over my shoulder. “Yes, Only you.”

  But when he said the words, they sounded more like a caress. And maybe even a promise.

  “Wow, that was a lot of fire,” Sadie said as they set the cake down on a table. She pulled the candles out of the cake while Piper grabbed a knife to cut it with.

  “You guys are so sweet to throw me a party. Was it supposed to be a surprise?”

  Piper shook her head. “Not really. I’m a pretty sucky friend, actually. Tate asked me this morning if I was going to do something for you. Of course, I’d always planned to, but time got away from me. So we invited the guys over, and Tate grabbed the cake and candy on his way home from work. It sure was nice of you to take a nap so we could get it all set up though.”

  I turned and looked at Tate, wishing I could show him precisely how much it meant to me. But that would have to happen later. Instead, I smiled at the three of them. “Well, I love it. Thanks. It’s been kind of a bummer to be the last one to turn eighteen and be the baby of the group.”

  “You might be the youngest, but you are not the baby of the group,” Piper said. Then she laughed. “That’s Zane and we all know it.”

  “I heard that,” Zane reached around from behind and grabbed her by the waist. He carried her as she kicked her legs over to the edge of the pool and held her over the edge. “Who’s a baby?”

  Piper was not one to be intimidated though. “You are. This just proves it.”

  Zane grinned. “I can live
with that.” And then he dropped her in.

  Everyone gasped and ran to the edge of the pool to watch. I elbowed my way to the front in time to see her pop out of the water looking like a slick but violent sea otter.

  With an angry growl, she pulled herself out of the pool. “You punk.”

  “What?” Zane asked. “It’s a pool party, right?”

  “I don’t have my suit on yet,” Piper screamed at him.

  “Poor planning on your part,” he said as he stripped off his t-shirt and kicked off his slides. With only his board shorts on, he grabbed Piper by the waist again, this time falling back into the pool with her.

  “Pool time!” Cooper called, always ready to jump into anything.

  Clothes flew off and everyone started jumping in, splash after splash flying out of the pool.

  “I’m not sure your pool is big enough for everyone,” I told Tate, watching the mass of bodies in the water.”

  “There’s room for a couple more,” he said.

  I glanced over at him then and watched as he pulled his shirt off. Laughing, I shrugged and pulled my own shirt and shorts off. But after tossing them to the side, I turned back to see Tate watching me with a completely different expression—one that set off those fireworks in my blood again.

  “That suit is going to be the death of me.”

  Arching an eyebrow at him, I said, “I didn’t think you’d even noticed.”

  His smile twisted. “Trust me. I noticed.” Then he threw me over his shoulder, strode to the edge of the pool, and launched me in.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The party was fun. And crazy. But mostly weird.

  Weird because for the first time ever, I wasn’t just crushing on Tate…we were sort of together. But not. But actually were. So, I had a hard time focusing on all my other friends because he was there and so close. It turns out that trying to hide a crush is a lot easier than trying to hide a new relationship that is burning like a star inside both of you and spilling out for others to see.

  But also because our group dynamic was shifting. I could feel it but knew that in an inevitable way, we were all set on a course that would take us different places than we had been. It was set into action at graduation, but feeling the straining and breaking and reshaping of all our relationships was strange to watch. Where before, we’d all either been one big mass of friends or the girls and guys had broken off into two distinct groups, there seemed to be more pairing off. Not like couple pairing off…just people talking or wandering off or leaving together that I wouldn’t have expected before. I watched it all night until Tate, Piper, Sadie, and I were the only ones left in the back yard.

  “Well, that was nuts,” Sadie said, tightening the beach towel she had wrapped around her chest like a sarong.

  I was tired—crazy tired—so I just nodded. Piper, with her endless supply of energy, just hopped down from the table she’d been sitting on and started picking up paper plates and cups that had been left sitting around. “Crazy that no one can clean up after themselves.” She paused, looking straight at Sadie. “And crazy how much time you and Dante spent talking. I’m thinking I should put his name down on your list.”

  Even in the low light, I could see Sadie blush. “No. As if Dante and I…I mean we’re friends, but we don’t have anything in common. Not a thing.” She plucked a flower from a nearby bush. “And I am so not his type.”

  Tate was stretched out on a pool lounger, his hands clasped behind his head and his eyes shut, but apparently, he wasn’t asleep. “If you’re a girl, you’re his type.”

  “You mean if you’re a skinny girl,” Sadie countered.

  “Trust me,” he said. “How attractive a girl is depends on a lot more than just her measurements.”

  “Oh yeah?” I asked, fully curious now. “Like what else matters to you?”

  “Oh, personality. Sense of humor. If they’re fun to be around. How they make you feel.”

  Piper laughed. “Sure, Tate. You forget I’ve seen the girls you date.”

  “You’ve seen the girls I’ve wasted time with,” he corrected her.

  “What’s the difference?”

  I was dying to hear the answer to that, but before he could speak again, their parents came outside.

  “Hey, kids,” Mr. Collins said. “Did you have a good party?”

  Piper looked up from her clean up endeavors with a grimace. “Can’t you tell?”

  I picked up a big donut floatie and two pool noodles to put away. “It was a blast. Thanks so much for letting them do it.”

  Mrs. Collins was already helping Piper. “Of course, Katie-bug. I would have stayed, but the kids kicked us out.” She laughed. “I don’t mind too much since they’ll soon have their own place to have parties.”

  “They?” I asked, pausing half-way to the pool house. I looked at Piper. “You’re getting your own place too?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Mom and Dad are trying to talk us into getting an apartment together.”

  “Not happening,” Tate said, still not moving from his lounge chair. “The last thing I need is my annoying little sister around all the time, leaving her crap all over the place.”

  His words hit me like a punch to the gut, though I doubt he even realized it. I was five months younger than his “annoying little sister.”

  Piper swung around and hit him with an empty soda can. “Whatever. Look who’s doing all the cleaning right now? I thought we were both doing this party for Kat.”

  He opened his eyes and grabbed the can. “Okay, okay. I’m going on, like, three hours of sleep here though.”

  “Poor baby,” Piper teased. I hoped she wouldn’t question it though since I knew exactly why he was so behind on sleep. But, no luck. His mom was curious too.

  “Why only three hours?” Mrs. Collins asked.

  Tate glanced at me, doing a terrible job at hiding his smile. “There’s this girl…”

  “Of course there is,” Piper groaned. “See, Mom? You want me to live with that?”

  But Mrs. Collins fixed her attention on Tate. “Who is it?”

  Oh, heck. No!

  Tate tipped over the folding table since it was cleared off and kicked the brace for the legs inward. “I’m not going to say just yet. But she’s…special.”

  There went those pop rocks again.

  “Now you have to tell us,” Piper said, her eyes huge.

  “I want to, but she’s not ready to tell people. And we’re not really official anyway. So, you’ll just have to wait.” He picked up the table and looked around the yard, which was mostly back to normal except the lantern lights. “And now, I’m going to put this back in the garage and crash. Good night, everyone.”

  My lungs felt tight as I tried to take a few deep breaths. I hated that we couldn’t kiss goodnight or anything. And Tate’s message was loud and clear. I was the only reason he was keeping things a secret.

  Maybe we should tell Piper and just get things out in the open.

  “I’m pretty tired too,” Mr. Collins said. He looked at his wife. “What about you, honey? Ready to go to bed?”

  She nodded. “If the girls don’t need any more help.”

  “We’ve got it, Mom. Good night.”

  When her parents were gone, Piper flopped down in the lounge chair Tate had been using. “Ugh. What did that take? Three days before Tate got tangled up with someone again? He’s unbelievable.”

  “I’d say it runs in the family,” Sadie said, dropping into the hammock and getting on her phone, probably to read another book or obsess over some hot book guy in one of her fandoms.

  “Hey. At least I have real relationships. Tate just plays with girls.”

  She was right. “Yeah, because he only went for Barbie Dolls before—hot girls without substance.”

  “Who’s to say this one isn’t exactly the same?” Piper asked.

  Sadie snorted. “You sound jealous to me.”

  “Who me?” I asked, on the point of panic tha
t I’d just given myself away.

  “No. Why would you be jealous? I mean Piper.”

  “What?” Piper turned around to stare at Sadie. “Why would I be?”

  “Because before he got interested in girls he spent all his time with you. In the last few years, he’s had less and less time for you. And when he finally meets the one, that will become permanent. That girl will always be more important to him than you.”

  “Whoa,” I said, almost in a whisper, my gut clenching.

  Piper looked as shocked as I did. A burst of frogs croaking in the marsh behind the fence drowned out the awkwardness of the moment, but although she was slower than usual, Piper eventually produced a comeback. “I thought you were going to be an engineer, not a psychologist.”

  “Doesn’t mean I’m wrong,” she retorted before going back to her book. “I’m just saying you should chill and think about maybe trying to be friends with this new girlfriend in case she’s the one he ends up with.”

  “There is no way,” Piper argued. “And I don’t want to have anything to do with her. Nothing.”

  Which effectively made it absolutely impossible to tell Piper it was me.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The next morning, I woke up to someone shaking my shoulder, but it wasn’t even light enough to see who it was. Plus, my brain was not ready to work yet.

  “What?”

  I heard a deep, soft chuckle that could only belong to Tate. “Shhhh! You’re going to wake them up.”

  “Not likely. What time is it?”

  “Five o’clock, and I don’t have long, but I got you something. Come to the kitchen.”

  I didn’t hear him leave, but I could sense it. And it was completely ridiculous that even though my eyes felt as heavy as boulders and my body as energetic as a sloth’s, I somehow crawled out from under the blanket and made it to Piper’s bathroom. That was the power of love, I guess. But I there was no way love would survive my morning breath, so I took time to brush my teeth. My messy hair would have to wait though because I knew Tate really didn’t have long. He was supposed to be on their boat by five-thirty every day.