Astray

by J F Rogers

  “Or what?” I breathed.

  Cahal reached for his axe and moved toward the door. “Or we’re under attack.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  ◊◊◊

  “CHECK DROCHAID,” CAHAL ORDERED me.

  The amulet wobbled in my hands. “It’s pointing out the door.”

  “We can’t just walk out of here following that thing.” Ryann gestured to Drochaid. “If someone sees it, they might figure out who she is.”

  Cahal nodded and opened the door. “Keep it hidden until I say.”

  Fingers shaking, I tucked it under my dress.

  He led us, weapon in hand, to the main floor. The whistle wailed as we searched the inn’s lower rooms. Not one person remained in the building, not even the innkeeper.

  While Cahal, Ryann, Declan, and Pepin peered out the windows, I hung back with Wolf, cowering. Gooseflesh broke out all over my body. My stomach shriveled up. I had to get out. With no outsiders in sight, I didn’t feel the need to wait for Cahal to give the word. I consulted Drochaid. “It’s pointing this way.”

  I bolted down a hall toward the back of the inn. The others followed me to an external door.

  “It’s pointing outside.” A sensation of being tethered to a cinder block and tossed into an ocean seeped over me. The cacophony muffled. My surroundings blurred, reminding me of my first encounter with the fasgadair.

  “We should go back to the pub.” Declan’s speech was slow. “There might be people, and it is closer to the gate.”

  “Nay. We must follow Drochaid even if it goes against our judgment.” Ryann spoke at a crawl too. “Besides, the chance of escaping out the main entrance is slim. Perhaps Drochaid will lead us to a place to hide.”

  Cahal looked out the window. “No sign of movement. It might be a drill. If this is an attack, we must protect Fallon. Ryann, lead with Wolf. Declan, stay with Fallon and Pepin. I’ll cover your backs. See the alley?”

  Heads nodded in slow motion.

  Cahal’s face turned to mine. His head tilted, and his brow furrowed in an unhurried fashion. He handed Declan the battle-axe then returned to me. His massive paws seized my shoulders and shook me. My brain rattled back and forth. He released his grip, and I looked about. The noise returned to its original deafening decibels as my vision cleared. My friends no longer moved in slow motion.

  “All right now?” he asked.

  “I think so.” What happened?

  Ryann grabbed my elbow, caught and held my gaze. “Fallon, something prompted you to be here, to help us. Hold onto it. Keep it in your mind. And no matter what happens, you are loved.”

  What an odd thing to say at such a time. I nodded so she would release her grip. But I had no idea what made me agree to all this. Family? My mother? Partly, but that wasn’t all. The way they care for orphans? Their love for me? Never had I experienced such love, particularly as a stranger. That must be it.

  “Head for the alley,” Cahal barked orders. “Surround Fallon so she can check Drochaid. Move in the direction she points. Stay in formation. And keep quiet. We cannot afford to attract any attention. Go.”

  My heart skittered as we entered the open air. I scanned the landscape, like a kid on a diving board who’d never been in a pool. Ryann and Wolf were already out, so I hurried behind them. My eyes darted in every direction. The scent carried on swirling wind further put me on edge. What was it? It reminded me of the time I licked a nine-volt battery. It tasted metallic with an electrical bite. If such a taste had a scent, it permeated the air now.

  Wolf’s hackles rose. Did he smell it too? He lifted his snout in multiple directions skyward, sniffing.

  The sensation of sinking washed over me again. I shook my head. Was this what Ryann meant? I’m doing this for them…the Cael…for love. Images of Ryann with Colleen, Declan with the orphan, my gran holding me after my nightmare. I tumbled those thoughts about my mind like balls in a bingo spinner.

  Once we reached the alley, Declan shielded me while I looked at the amulet. It pointed to the right. We ran in that direction. We remained in formation, running, stopping to check the direction, delving deeper and deeper into the maze of homes, away from the entrance.

  As we skulked about, advancing to the next break in our path, something hit my leg, hard. I shrieked as I shot into the air. Without checking to see if I was okay, my companions formed a circle around me, nearly blocking my view. I peeked over Wolf and Pepin to find a wall, nothing more.

  Cahal turned to me. His eyes widened as he thumped his fingers against his breastbone.

  When I got his meaning, I pointed in the direction Drochaid showed me.

  He nodded and nudged Ryann and Wolf forward. Returning to formation, the rest of us followed.

  Between two homes, in what appeared to be a dead end, lay a hole in the ground. A man in the hole, holding one end of a covering above his head, summoned us. He emerged, lifting the cover further, waving for us to enter.

  Every ounce of my being wanted to run the other way, but since Wolf went, I followed.

  Once inside, in full view, the man’s height made it clear what he was—a Treasach. He lowered the hatch and latched it. Using a small lantern hanging from the ceiling, he lit a torch, and then put a finger to his mouth, motioning for us to remain silent. He handed the torch to Cahal and lit two more: one for Declan and another for himself. Then he blew out the lantern and led us down a long, crude tunnel.

  The dank earth reeked of mold and decay like the time Stacy’s mom decided to start composting, not realizing she wasn’t supposed to add meat. But being built by the Treasach, the tunnel was big enough not to make me feel claustrophobic. Our guide stooped a bit. The rest of us, including Cahal, stood upright.

  We walked in silence for what felt like miles. When Pepin fell behind, Wolf offered him a ride. The stranger kept a quick pace, his back to us. I dared to check on Drochaid, multiple times, sure it couldn’t be right. Why would it lead us here, following him? A phantom imitation of the village whistle echoed in my mind making it hard to determine when it was no longer in earshot. An occasional drip of water and squishy footsteps from waterlogged shoes accompanied the sound, slowly overtaking it.

  “What happened?” I asked Declan, keeping my voice low. “I couldn’t see anything. Why’d we follow him?” I jerked my head in our tour guide’s direction.

  “He threw pebbles at us to get our attention. They made you jump.”

  “And we followed him?”

  “Drochaid is leading us this way. Whether he’s helping or not, it’s part of God’s plan. Besides, he’s not a fasgadair. Would you rather have waited for them?”

  Oh, great. So we were here because the other idea was worse…worse than trusting a Treasach. Declan, without an ounce of guile, was no good at calming a girl’s nerves.

  The tunnel widened at a dead end where other Treasach men, women, and children huddled together near a hatch similar to the one we’d come through. The anonymous man unlatched and lifted it enough to peer out.

  He secured the lid and turned to us. “You are now miles from Gnuatthara. The sun will be up shortly. When it rises, you will be safe from the fasgadair. I must return. There may be others in need of help.”

  When he turned to leave, Ryann asked, “Kind sir, who can I thank for rescuing us?”

  “My name is of no consequence. I’m merely a servant of the One True God. You have Him to thank, no other.” He retreated into the darkness, his torchlight disappearing after him.

  “Thank You for sending Your servant, Lord. Bestow peace and blessings upon him.”

  I had to strain to hear Ryann’s words.

  “Amen,” Cahal, Declan, and Pepin added.

  Declan addressed the Treasach. “It was not a drill? Gnuatthara was attacked?”

  One of the men, frowning, nodded. “The whistle alerts the village and hurts the fasgadair. We use their heightened senses against them.” A sly smile emerged the
n disappeared. “It buys us time. Their powers are useless until they find it and shut it off. As long as it continues, we have a chance.”

  “That explains why we never saw one,” Declan stated without looking at anyone. “They were disabled, searching for the alarm.”

  The man gave a weak nod. “And they have our guards to contend with. The fasgadair might not overtake us, but for the sake of our women and children, we vacate when we have the chance, leaving only the soldiers behind.”

  So now they value life.

  I sat in the dank, musty tunnel with only dark thoughts to entertain me as we waited for sunrise. Declan put his arm around me. Ryann kept glancing at us, but I didn’t care. After what we’d been through, I welcomed the comfort. His warm body calmed my nerves. Even Ryann said nothing. Perhaps, despite her tough demeanor, she would’ve liked someone to comfort her too.

  As I surveyed the Treasach in the dim lighting, my hatred toward them petered out. Gargantuan children clung, wide-eyed, to anxious parents. Maybe if they weren’t so fearful, they wouldn’t be so quick to rid themselves of any perceived weakness.

  “Momma, I’m hungry.” A girl with long blonde hair tied in a braid sat across her mother’s lap.

  Her mother pushed loose strands out of her daughter’s face. “Shhh…soon. Rest now.” Wasn’t she the waitress?

  Ryann pulled a piece of jerky from her pack, shuffled across the floor to the little girl, and offered it to her. The mother shook her head while her daughter buried her face in her neck.

  “Please take it. I have plenty more.”

  The woman reached out a tentative hand for the meat. She nudged her daughter, who studied the jerky, then her mom. When her mom nodded, the girl grabbed it and took a bite.

  “I am called Ryann. What are you called?”

  “Ta…” The child mumbled the rest under her breath.

  Ryann let out a soft chuckle. “Could you say that again, sweetie?”

  “She is called Tashaundra.” Her mother spoke.

  “What a beautiful name.”

  The woman and her child smiled.

  “I had a friend with that name. Do you know what it means?” Ryann asked.

  Tashaundra shook her head and looked at her mom.

  “My grandmother was called by that name. I do not know its meaning,” her mother said.

  “It means God is gracious.” Ryann turned back to Tashaundra. “Do you know what it means to have God’s grace?”

  The girl shook her head again.

  “It means He loves you, no matter what. You are loved, dear Tashaundra. Never forget.”

  Tashaundra stroked her mother’s neck with one hand, chewed the jerky in the other, and gazed with large, sparkling eyes at Ryann. Her mother’s expression was harder to judge. She seemed to be surveying Ryann. The other Treasach stared at her as well. I couldn’t read them, but something had changed in their eyes.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  ◊◊◊

  WE CONTINUED OUR QUEST at sunup, putting as much distance between us and the fasgadair as possible. Cahal wanted to travel at night, which meant we would forge ahead on little to no sleep—again.

  With each uneventful day, Cahal allowed more time to rest. I stuck close to Declan.

  Ryann didn’t object to my clinginess aloud, but she watched us, rarely allowing us out of sight.

  My life was in danger, but my mind kept returning to the memory of his arms around me. He felt the same, didn’t he? What stopped us? A betrothal? How could someone he didn’t love come between us and our chemistry? How could he let it?

  I tried to push those thoughts out of my mind. How could I even continue to dwell on these things? I wasn’t staying. I’d either find my way home or die trying. But Declan wouldn’t leave my mind. Thoughts of him tormented me. Thousands of partial arguments chased each other around my mind as I attempted in vain to predict his responses.

  Two nights after our escape from Gnuatthara, while we hunted for food, I broached the subject. “D-Declan.”

  “What?” A couple paces ahead of me, he scanned the ground for tracks.

  I hadn’t planned the conversation. My body trembled. Heat rose to my face as my heart hammered in my chest. The words hesitated to leave my mouth, because once they left, they could never return. “How do-do you feel about me?”

  He stopped his search and turned to me. “You know how I feel about you, Fallon. But there’s Maili and—”

  “I know.” The levy had broken; the words flowed easier now. “But isn’t it a little barbaric to marry someone your parents choose for you? What about what you want?”

  “’Tis not about me or what I want. ’Tis about what God wants.”

  “What do you mean, it’s not about you? It’s your life, isn’t it? You’re the one who has to spend the rest of it with a stranger. Don’t you want to be with me?” My voice cracked. I feared I might be nearing, or worse, had already surpassed the pathetic line.

  Seeming to sense my vulnerability, he reached out and grabbed my arm. Caressing my face, he gazed into my eyes. Then he pulled my face toward his.

  My breath caught; my heart raced. His breath warmed me. He was about to kiss me when a loud bark startled us.

  We both jumped back.

  Wolf shifted his head to meet our eyes in turn.

  Declan backed away, his eyes full of fear. “Sorry, Fallon. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

  Before I could utter a word, he turned on his heels and ran toward our camp. Standing there, staring after him, I felt like the biggest loser on the face of the planet. He ran from me. I actually made a guy run away. They should bottle me and sell me as boy repellant.

  Wolf licked my hand.

  I yanked it away and walked back to camp, taking my time. I didn’t want to face anyone.

  Wolf followed a few paces behind.

  When I arrived, Cahal occupied Declan by teasing him for failing to find meat. “Good thing Wolf is here, huh? He got enough meat for all of us.” Cahal gave Wolf a pat on the head, then sat back against a tree, sighed, and folded his arms behind his head. “I could retire and let Wolf fetch our food.” He closed his eyes, missing the unimpressed look Wolf threw at him.

  I silently thanked God for Cahal’s atypical chattiness just when I needed it. It allowed me to slink by to the opposite side of the fire, away from everyone. I sat, picked up a stick, and drew pictures in the dirt. Wolf settled beside me, resting his head on his paws. I was so ashamed, part of me wanted to push him away. He now knew firsthand how pathetic I was. But, another part, the needy, pride-less part wanted the comfort of his presence. I let him stay.

  Ryann didn’t question why we came back empty-handed. When I dared look up, I found her eyes flip-flopping between Declan and me as if she were watching a tennis match. I returned to my drawing, pretending it completely engrossed me.

  Eager to avoid the disquiet, I ate little and excused myself to bathe in the lake. I took longer than usual and intended to go straight to sleep when I got back to abstain from any conversation.

  Ryann intercepted me upon my return, foiling my plan. “Fallon, what is going on between you and Declan?”

  Though she was not one to sidestep an issue, I wasn’t prepared for such a pointed question. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I turned to walk away.

  She grasped my wrist. “Aye, you do.” She took a deep breath. “I know something is going on.” Her tone, gentler than it had been a moment before, seemed genuinely concerned. “It might help to talk about it. I promise not to judge either of you. I want to help.”

  I slumped to the ground. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “Start by telling me what happened.”

  I cradled my head in my hand. “I told him I like him.”

  “Does he feel the same way?”

  I nodded. “Well…he did.” I wrapped my hands around my legs, locking them in place with clasped hands. “But he
’s going to marry Maili anyway.” When I felt the oncoming rush of tears, I buried my face in my hands, annoyed at myself. These taboo public displays of emotion were becoming habitual. “He hates me now. I’ve ruined everything. We were such good friends, and now he won’t even talk to me.”

  Ryann sat next to me and placed an arm around my shoulder. “It won’t last. He’ll talk to you again soon. But you must be careful. You can’t allow your desires to control you.”

  I wished someone would tell me I was free to see Declan. I didn’t understand their politics or customs. I didn’t understand how marrying Maili was God’s plan. Why would the Creator of the universe care who someone married?

  “It’s not wrong to be a friend to Declan,” Ryann continued. “But it’s wrong to desire something you’re not entitled to. ’Tis worse to attempt to obtain it without regard for the outcome. And there are consequences, Fallon. Consequences neither you nor Declan should have to contend with. We may not understand them, but our rules are for our own protection.”

  I groaned. Why was life so complicated? “What should I do?”

  Ryann smiled. “To keep Declan as a friend, you must maintain a respectable distance. And you must consider what he’s going through.”

  “I’ve already lost his friendship.”

  “Nay, you haven’t. He’s doing as I advise you. Keeping a distance. He will speak with you again when he’s ready. But you must abandon any notions of having a romantic relationship with him.”

  My shoulders sagged, but I nodded and followed her back to camp.

  ****

  As expected, Declan treated me like a leper the next night while we followed glowing arrows south. Didn’t I know this would happen? He’d done this once before, and I hated it. I finally had his friendship back, only to lose it again.

  I spent miles tripping on tree roots, beating myself up internally, when a ray of light broke through the dark cloud in my mind: Ryann. I could talk to her without risking the friendship. It seemed nothing I said disturbed her. She had a way of cutting through the bull. A voice of reason. What my emotions jumbled, her logic simplified. I kicked myself for not entrusting my feelings to her long ago. She might have stopped me from making a mess of things.