Astray

by J F Rogers

  Perhaps I should tell her about my conversations with Aodan.

  I sensed the ocean before it came into view. The temperature dropped about ten degrees. The winds wafted salty air to my nose. A raucous din unique to seagulls then crashing waves filled my ears.

  The treetops blazed with the morning light. The ground grew rocky. The vegetation thinned. A seemingly endless ocean spread before me. Water crashed against the rocky coast, sending sprays into the air, dousing the stone like rain. The sun peeked over the crimson horizon, casting a path of orange highlights along the crests rippling toward me.

  I consulted Drochaid. “Now what? The arrow points into the sea.”

  “The Sea of Firinne.” Ryann gazed at the water.

  “Um.” Pepin looked down and scuffed his feet as if kicking pebbles where none existed. “We’re probably here to find Drochaid’s missing jewel.”

  I loomed over him. “How are we supposed to find it?”

  “I don’t know.” His shoulders and arms raised defensively as he backed away. “The angel told me it’s in the sea.”

  “Then jump in and get it.” I’d no right to take my bad mood out on Pepin. The varying degrees of disapproving glances aimed my way didn’t surprise me. I deserved them. Still, I couldn’t pull myself out of the funk.

  “What?” I held my hands up as if surrendering. “Didn’t the angel tell him to get it?”

  “Please understand.” Pepin’s eyes pleaded for mercy. “Pech are like rocks in many ways, including our buoyancy. If I jump into the sea, I will sink to the bottom. God knows this. He created me this way. He could not have intended for me to go in there.”

  “Pepin.” Declan spoke as if addressing a four-year-old. “This is very important. Can you remember exactly what the angel said to you?”

  Pepin threw Declan a look indicating he did not appreciate being spoken to in such a manner. Then he narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms with a huff. “Of course, I remember. You don’t forget a visit from an angel.” His face cleared, and his arms returned to his side, his expression growing almost angelic, his voice singsong. “The angel said, ‘Pepin, do not be afraid. I am an angel sent by God with a message. You are to create an inter-realm transport amulet of limestone, turquoise, and malachite. The face must bear this symbol.’ The angel gave me this.” Pepin pulled out a worn piece of parchment with a drawing matching Drochaid’s markings. “Then the angel said, ‘When it is complete, give it to the elders of Notirr. It will need a jewel which will be found in the Sea of Firinne.’ I told the angel I would do as asked. That’s all.”

  “So the angel didn’t tell you to get the jewel, only that it was necessary and where to find it. And if your recollection is exact, the angel advised you to give it to the elders of Notirr first,” Ryann said.

  “Yes.” Pepin nodded and straightened. All traces of worry left his face. “Pech have good memories.”

  “Well, look around.” Ryann began searching among the rocks. “It may be in one of these tide pools.”

  I didn’t consider the bottom of a tide pool to be undersea. Still, I wasn’t eager to go deep-sea diving without proper equipment, so I went along with her suggestion. If anyone else disagreed, they didn’t vocalize it. We fanned out among the rocks. I searched a couple of tide pools and crevices between rocks, continuing to advance toward the sea, when I came across an unusual tide pool. Its surface was smooth as glass. I knelt at the edge and attempted to peer past my reflection into the water. I couldn’t. It was like trying to look through a mirror.

  I peered at myself. Was it a trick? Despite random dirt smudges and tangled hair, I looked beautiful. My skin had darkened slightly, and pink tinged my cheeks. Not one trace of a blemish existed across my former pizza face. My eyes sparked with zeal.

  The flat surface wavered, rippling out from the center evenly in all directions. As it stilled, my reflection contorted into the image that tormented me in my nightmares. My face, fangs bared, lunged at me. I lifted my arms to protect myself, lost balance, fell into the water, and hit my head on the rock on the opposite side. Eyes open, I sank. The sunlit surface drew further away and disappeared.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  ◊◊◊

  MY HEAD THROBBED. I groaned and blinked. A beautiful face, framed in a cascade of golden hair, appeared before me. Eyes, as blue as the sea, shimmered like sunlight on waves. I twitched and pulled myself up on my elbows. Where am I now?

  “Eat this.”

  I sat and looked from the seaweed-like substance in her hand to her eyes. Who was she? Could I trust her?

  “It will take away the pain.”

  Searching her face, I found no evidence of malice. I reached for droopy, green leaves and took a tentative bite. It tasted like salty paper. The second, larger piece required quite a bit of chewing, but I managed to break it down enough to swallow. Within seconds, the pain dissipated. “Wow. My headache is gone. What was that stuff?”

  Instead of answering, she draped a gown across the bed. “Get out of those wet clothes and put this on.” She turned and started from the room.

  “Wait? Who are you? Where am I?”

  Without hesitating, she continued out and disappeared from view. Why hadn’t those been my first questions? Had I grown so accustomed to the bizarreness of this place that I no longer questioned waking in odd places with strangers tending to me?

  I picked up the dress wishing it were a little more…not a dress. Despite its efforts, Ariboslia would never convert me into a girly girl. Not if I had any say. Nothing would dash my dream for the glorious day when I could throw on a pair of jeans.

  After changing, I had to admit the dress wasn’t bad. Never had I worn anything so comfortable. It weighed next to nothing and swirled like air over my body. If not for the material’s slight swish and adequate cover in the mirror, I’d wonder if I weren’t wearing The Emperor’s New Clothes. But no, the light aqua material hugged my torso and arms and fell at my waist.

  While I awaited the mystery girl’s return, I inspected the sea-blue and ivory room. A candle chandelier hung from the lofty ceiling. The canopy bed, bedecked in luxurious ivory bedding, nearly touched the ceiling. I wanted nothing more than to snuggle up on it and sleep for hours.

  A fish swam past the window.

  “What in the world?” I peeked out into what I had mistaken for a blue sky to find many multicolored fish in varying shapes and sizes. Was I under the sea? Was this one of those underwater cities? Was the girl a selkie? I opened the door she’d gone through and found a long empty hallway. Where had she gone?

  The familiar warm sensation on my chest made me grab Drochaid. It pointed down the hall. I allowed it to lead me through the impressive grand hallway, down a flight of stairs, and another hall. When the arrow pointing to the right lit, I stopped and peered through the open doorway.

  A dining hall. A long table stood in the center of the room. Numerous lidded, silver platters sat on the table as though prepared for a large dinner party. The glittery ceiling, which appeared to be made of some kind of metal, curved upward from all four corners. Another elaborate chandelier dangled from its highest point. Candlelight reflected off the shiny dome, bathing the room in light. Against the far wall, a school of large neon fish swam past an enormous window. I moved closer to watch them, but they’d gone. Nothing but blue water remained. As I neared, a large gray mass with an eye the size of my head raced by, and I jumped back.

  “Fallon.”

  I leapt again at my name. A man sat at the table. Where had he come from? I turned to flee, but something rooted me to the spot. It wasn’t just his knowing my name, but the way he said it—full of affection. Was he one of the selkie the others had warned me about?

  As I stood, transfixed, immeasurable calm rained down on me. Something compelled me to turn and walk toward the stranger. Peace seeped deeper into my being with each step. How could he have such a profound effect on me? Judging from his short, dark ha
ir with minimal flecks of gray, I guessed him to be in his thirties. His kind face was well groomed with trim facial hair masking his jawline and upper lip.

  As I neared, he stood, revealing a long, white robe cinched by a gold belt. He held out his hand, and I placed mine in it. His warm skin sent peace radiating throughout my being. He guided me to a seat at the table, where, in one smooth movement, he pulled out a chair and motioned for me to sit.

  “It is wonderful to meet you in person.” His buttery voice melted in the air as he spoke. He seated himself beside me.

  Something about him made me feel inferior yet … loved. His amiable eyes were as I imagined Santa Claus’s might be if I believed in such things. Somehow, he seemed to command respect and undying loyalty. I bowed. “The honor is mine.”

  His genuine smile dissolved all my troubles. He glanced at the table, and I followed his gaze to the numerous covered platters. “You must be hungry. Help yourself to anything you like.”

  I didn’t hunger for food, but to learn more about this kindhearted man. To be polite, I selected a dish and spooned a small amount onto my plate. He poured red wine into a bejeweled goblet and set it before me. Then he reached for bread, broke it, and handed me a piece.

  Being served by someone so enigmatic unnerved me. I should have served him.

  “Thank you.” I needed to know who this man was and how he knew me.

  When I opened my mouth to ask, he spoke, “I have Drochaid’s missing jewel. We have been saving it for you.”

  “For me? So it wasn’t Pepin’s job to get it?”

  The man’s hearty laugh filled the room with music, making me smile. I took a bite of the bread. Though it had no spread, it tasted like honey.

  “No. Pepin was to advise you it was needed. And he did his task well. Here you are…in Saltinat.”

  “What’s that?”

  “An underwater selkie city.”

  My eyes widened. “Are you a selkie?” I hoped the attraction Garvey spoke of wasn’t what captivated me. If that were the case, its effect surprised me. I expected a romantic attraction, but romance had nothing to do with what I felt. It didn’t make me want to drop everything to stay with him, though I enjoyed his presence and wished to remain. Instead, it empowered me, made me feel as though I could accomplish anything he asked.

  “No.” He laughed again. It lit up everything around him, including me. “After we eat, I’ll give you what you seek. You will need it to stop the fasgadair.”

  “Stop the fasgadair?” My hand, holding my next bite of bread, froze midair. “I thought my task was to rescue my mother from my uncle.” I didn’t care to remember the rest but added it under my breath. “And dethrone him.”

  “True, but it is only the beginning.” His eyes seemed to penetrate my soul. “Why did you agree to this quest?”

  I shrugged. “I guess I’m doing it for the Cael. And…I’d like to meet my mother.”

  “Do you feel nothing for your people?”

  “Oh, no. I mean…yes. I mean…I care for those I’ve met so far.”

  “What do you think of the way they treat one another?”

  What could I say? I envied their joy, their devotion. Any one of them would give their life for another. They saved the lives of so many Treasach. I had never witnessed such selfless acts. I wished I were as good.

  “They are not good. Their flesh is bent toward evil, like yours. But something they have allows them to prevail over it. You can have it too. You can have the joy, strength, and love—all they possess.”

  Had he read my mind?

  He pressed further. “What is your opinion of the God of Whom they speak?”

  “I don’t know. He seems to be the source of their generosity and kindness…their love. He is their purpose.”

  “Do you wish to live for a higher purpose?”

  “I do. But who is this God?”

  “He is Stacy’s God.”

  How did he know about Stacy? She wasn’t even in this realm. “Who are you?”

  “I am The Way.”

  I’d heard that before—at church with Stacy. Did that mean…? Was this…? No, it couldn’t be.

  “I tell you the truth.”

  “What do I have to do?”

  “Believe.”

  I wanted to believe. But doing so required me to peek into a place I much preferred to keep sealed shut. It meant searching my heart.

  All at once, the weight of who I was came crashing down, nearly crushing me. Tears coursed down my cheeks. I’d been so selfish. I’d spent all my life angry, blaming everyone and everything but myself.

  I’d felt entitled to my grandmother’s love, parents, a so-called normal life. And I longed for things like Declan’s embrace, though I knew it was wrong. People tried to reach out to me, but I didn’t want their advice. I wanted to do things my way. To be in control. I didn’t appreciate what I had. What made me think I deserved anything more?

  I wanted to cry out to Him to find someone else. A less worthy person couldn’t possibly exist. The ugliness within me oozed throughout my entire being, ensnaring me like a tar pit.

  Desperate for this Man to pull me out, certain that only He could, I closed my eyes and cried, “I believe!” Though it rang like a shout within my heart, it came out a whisper. But my heart hadn’t finished speaking. “I need You. Please forgive me.”

  He placed His hand under my chin, forcing me to peer into His eyes. There I found true empathy. With His other hand, He brought a handkerchief to my eyes and wiped away my tears.

  “You are forgiven.”

  A tingling sensation swept over my body. I weighed nothing and might float away from the force of pure joy. It was true. I was forgiven. I would never allow myself to be consumed by the ugliness again. I would accept my mission. I would believe. I would do whatever God asked of me, whatever He empowered me to do. I would live for something greater than myself.

  “Trust in God, not this.” He let my chin go and tapped on Drochaid. “It is only a tool to be disposed of when you are ready.”

  He placed His hand on my head, and my eyes closed. A warm, electric tingle emanated from His hand. It flowed into my head and coursed throughout my being. Peace swept over me once more. For the first time in my life, I was content. I was loved.

  When I opened my eyes, He was gone. I was no longer in the dining hall but back in the bedroom where I’d first awoken, lying on the bed. Had I dreamed the entire interlude? No. I felt different.

  The girl who’d given me the dress returned. “Good. It fits you perfectly.”

  “What happened?” I asked. “Where’d He go?”

  “He?” Appearing alarmed, she scanned the room. “You should not have come across any selkie men. They are strictly forbidden.”

  “He wasn’t a selkie.”

  She relaxed slightly. “That would have been unfortunate.” She reached to touch my head. “You hit your head pretty badly.”

  “I know what I saw. I didn’t imagine Him.” I looked down at Drochaid. A small aqua gemstone rested in its center. Funny, I didn’t recall receiving it. Still, I had proof. “Ha! See? Here it is. He said He would give me a jewel and He did. How would I have this if I’d imagined Him?”

  The selkie narrowed her eyes.

  “Please,” I begged, suddenly anxious to leave. “Now that I have the jewel, I need to get back.”

  “This way.” She motioned for me to follow her into the same hall I’d walked earlier.

  I paused as we passed the dining room entrance. It was empty. The table was bare. How had they cleared it so quickly? I shook my head and hurried to catch up with the selkie.

  Confused by what I learned about the selkie from the gachen’s stories, I asked as we walked, “I thought selkie preferred their seal form.”

  “Sometimes we do. Whatever form we take, our desire is to be in the ocean. That is why we have this city and others like it.”

  “Does
anyone else live here? I haven’t seen anyone.” Except Him.

  “When we rescued you from the water, we evacuated this area. It is standard procedure when gachen visit. If you met a selkie man, you would never leave.”

  “Oh, I’m not a gachen.”

  She stopped walking. Her eyes ran over me. “You’re not? What are you?”

  “I’m half-gachen and half-human. My mother is gachen. I’m from the human realm.”

  “You are gachen enough that we must keep selkie men away from you.”

  She turned and continued until we reached an empty room. It stunk of decaying seafood. Algae covered the floor, ceiling, and all four walls, leaving the floor slick. I slipped and caught myself against the far wall. My hand left an imprint in the muck and came away covered with green slime. Not wanting to soil my dress, I tried to flick it off.

  After closing the door behind her, the selkie pulled a lever in the wall. Water poured in from spouts near the roof. The noise deafened me.

  “What’s happening?” I shouted.

  “I need to fill the room,” she yelled back. “If I opened the roof first, you would be crushed.”

  I strained to hear her words as I rinsed my hand in the rising flood. My breath caught— cool water encircled my waist.

  As the space of air shrunk and I treaded water, I struggled to breathe. I loved the ocean, but not like this.

  “Hold your breath.” The roof opened, and the air pocket disappeared.

  Underwater, I swam through the roof. My chest compressed. Fearing I might pass out, I kicked for the surface. When I broke through, I gasped for air, wiped hair from my face, and pulled myself out of the tide pool I’d fallen into. I lay down on the rocks, gazed at the sky, and breathed deeply, grateful for the open space.

  When my breathing returned to normal, I stood gazing at the still water. Something compelled me to peer into it. Like before, I caught my reflection. This time, rather than mutating into my nightmare vision, a golden glow spread about me. The ugliness gone, I smiled. Time to look for my friends.