CLAIRE: (is it really love)

by Grace Gervas

  "Heybeautiful,Ithoughtyouwerepullingmylegbutyou're actuallyhere."Brunoregardedherwarmlywithafriendlykiss. "AsmuchasIlovemessingupwithyou,hereIreallyam. Howareyousmartguy?"Shereplied.Atlastagenuinesmile appearedonherfacesincethehavocwithRyan.

  Afterfewfunnyexchanges,sheplainlyaskedhimforalarge portionoflunchindefensethatshewasstarvingtodeath. Brunograntedherdemandbysimplyasnapofafingeranda momentlatershewasfullandsatisfiedandhadstrongly insistedtopayforherfoodwhichtooklongertomakeBruno relent;heonlyshookhisheadassheclearedhercheque.

  "Anythingmorema'am?"Hedramaticallyaskedafter placingherastrawberrymilkshakefordessert,thatagain,he saidthatitwasonthehouse.Sheexcitedlyregardeditlikea child.

  "No.Unlessyouwantmetostopmovingatallandturninto awhale.Thistastesaamazing!"saidClaireafteralittletaste, andheonlysmileddiffidently.

  "Itwouldbemypleasureifyoustickarounduntillater,and wecanhavedinnerathomeafterwards."Hesaidsuggestively. "That'spreciselywhyIcame.Yourgrandfatherinvitedme overthephonesoweshallmeetlateranyway."

  "Ohisthatso?Butwhydoyousoundlikelikeit'ssomekind ofobligation?"

  "Huh?"Sheretorted. "ComeonClaire.Youseemunrelenting,orisitmy imaginationthatyou'rehidingsomethingbehindthatsmile."He priedsubtly.

  "Ohplease.Areyouplayingpsychicnow?I'mnothiding anythingatall;andhey,whydon'twecheckaroundplacesso youcanshowmehowtotakegoodpictures?Iwanttotry photographyforanewhobby."Shetriedtoavoidthetopic,that Ryanwasbehindherhideousdisposition.

  Andthatwasenoughofadivergency.Theyleftthe restaurantandthedaywasspentroamingaroundaimlessly, whiletakingpictures,withBrunoteachingheraboutperfect angles,lights,andallthebasicsoftakinggoodpicturesin differenttimesofaday.Andlaterintheevening,hehadjust droppedherofftothehouse.

  "IguessI'llseeyouatseven?"Hebeamed. "Ofcourse."Sherespondedsimilarly."Andthankyou,Ihad ablast."Sheaddedsmilingly,whileclingingtothemassivemain door.

  "I'mthethankfulone;It'sbeenawhilesinceIhadaboat ride.It'sashamewecouldn'tscubadive."Brunosaid."Well then,I'llpickyouupinanhour." "BrunoItoldyouI'llcomeonmyown;youdon'thaveto, really.I'mnotsomekindofaprincesswhoneedsanescort everywhere,okay?"

  "I'msuchagentlemanwhotreatseveryladyasthey deserve."

  "Ohyou!Stopbeingstubbornandgetoutofhere."Claire shoohimoffwithawave,andhelaughedheartily. "I'llpickyouupandthat'sfinal."Hescreamedwhilewalking tohiscar,leavingherallsmiley.Atleastherafternoonhad turnedouttoberewarding;butthethoughtofhowthenight wasyettobe,madeherskinshudder.

  Backtothehouse,Clairerealizedhowbigandscaryitwas, nowthatshewasalone.Foramomentshewonderedhowshe wasgoingtosleepoverinsuchasolace.Shestarted entertainingtheideaofcheckinginintoahotelafterdinner; therewasnowayshewouldspendthenightatsuchenormous place,allbyherself.Shelockedthedoor,turnedonthelights andwalkedintothebedroomforabath.Sheponderedsome minutesinashowerwithseveraldepressingimagesreplayingin herhead.Andoncedone,shegotherselfreadybyslippinginto lavenderjumpsuitthatcarvedhershapeperfectly.

  Despitetheblistersonherankles,sheadamantlywore somecreamstrapheels.Herwavyhairfellfreelydownher shoulders,andalittlepeachlipstickcompletedhersimpleand elegantlook.Exactlyatsevensharp,therewasacallfromBruno informingherthathewasnearlythere.

  "Youjustcan'ttakenoforananswer,canyou?"Sheteased uponhisinsistencetogiveheraride.

  "Noma'am.JustfiveminutesandI'llbethere."Hereplied andtheyhungup. Justafterthecall,shestartedtoremembersomeoneelse whodefinitelynevertooknoforananswer.Someonewhohad turnedherworldupsidedowninsuchaveraciousway;she almosthatedhim,butrealizedshehadnolegitreasonto.Thatif shefeltthatway,thenitcouldonlymeanthatshe'dfallenin lovewithhim.

  "Lovinghim?Don'tyoudaresaythatClaireLevy."She mutteredtoherselfwhileheadingdownfromherroom."You're justinfatuated,that'sall."sheaddedlikeamaniac."He'ssexy, andyouapparentlylovesex."Whendidshestartlovingsexthat much?Shethoughtinwardly,andlaughedoutbittersweetly.It stillpainedher,butsheknewshehadtolivewithit.

  Bruno'sredcarapproached;Clairehadleftthedooropen whileputtingonsilverearringswhenhehadfinallydismounted off.ShecouldclearlyseehimthroughthevastFrenchwindowat theloungingarea,andurgedhimthatthedoorwasopen.

  "Wow!"Hegasped."Purpleisofficiallymyfavouritecolor." Clairegiggled."You'recrazy.Youlookfreshbytheway;I can'tdecidebetweentuxandjeanswhichonedoesyou fairness."Sheutteredwhilegrabbingapurse.

  "Ithinkthisismyelement.Tux?Orplease!"Heretortedand itearnedfewchucklesastheystartedtoheadoutofthehouse. "Suchanicehouseyouhavehere,areyoualone?"Heasked casually.

  "Yeahapparently.Ididn'tknowitwastoodarkoutside." "Geez,aren'tyouscared?"

  Shewalkedforthelightswitch."OhtrustmeIam.That's whyI'mtakingmyhandbagbecauseIcan'tsleephere."She returnedwhileshuttingthemaindoor,andtherestoftheir conversationliedbetweenthesamelineaboutlivingalone, beingafraidandhownicehavingabigfamilyactuallywas.

  Awhilelater,theyfoundthemselvesattheStevensterritory. Thecarpulledoverneartheotherthreerandom-parkedcars includingafamiliarblackVoguethatRyandrovethelasttime fromtheretotheCity.Clairetookadeepbreathatthe apprehensionthathewasmostprobablyalreadyinthere.She watchedcalmlythemid-summergardenbrimmingfroma distanceandeverythinglookedthesameasbefore,exceptit wasdark.

  Inside,Marthareceivedthemcordiallyandmentionedhow delightedshewastoseeClaireagain,whichwasreturnedas given.SheandBrunoseemedmorecloserthanwithRyan;the formercalledherNanny.Clairewasn'tsurprisedbecauseitwas evidentthatBrunowasthewarmestandkindestbetweenthe twobrothers;andyetshehadtogetinvolvedwiththeother.She cursedinwardlyandthat'swhensheheardRyan'svoicetalking tosomeonethatshealsorecognizedinasecond;itwasDoris, andthetwowereinthelivingroomtogetherwithMr.Stevensas theyfinallyadvancedover,withBrunobesideher.She swallowedhardwhenherglancecollidedwithhis.

  CHAPTER21

  WhenClairewalkedin,Mr.Stevensregardedherwithavery brightsmileandevenstumbledtogetuphisfeetjusttoexpress howdelightedhewasuponseeingher.

  "Lookwho'shere!"Hesmiledwidely."ComeinClaire."he urged,andwithsuchwarmth,shewalkedoverandhuggedhim steadfastly.

  "HiMr.Stevens?Ihopeyou'redoingfine."Clairesaid smilingly.

  Theoldmanscowledabit."Itoldyoutocallme--" "Grandfather!"Clairejumpedin,half-embarrasedandmade himlaughabit."Ibetterpracticemoreoften."Sheadded hilariouslyandBrunojoinedthelaughter.

  "Yessillygirl,that'sit.Thankyouforcomingtonight.Iknow youdon'thaveanyobligationtothisoldfellabutyou'vecome anyway."SaidMr.Stevenswithoutlettinggoofherhands.

  "Noit'snothinggrandfather,infactI'mverygratefulforthe invitation."Clairesaid,andthat'swhensheshiftedhergazeto otheraudienceinthelivingroom."HiDoris?"Sheuttered pointedly,andreceivedawriggleoffingersandaplasticsmile fromDoriswhowasseatedcross-leggedbythecouch,holdinga wineglasswiththesamecolorofherredwrapdress.

  Ryanwasadjacenttoher,andhiseyeshadbeenfixedlyon Clairefromtheminuteshe'denteredtheroomupthatpoint.It wasthesamesinisterlookhehadthefirsttimehemether;it madeherexhalefrustratedly,butshemadenoattempttoletit show.Shecompletelyignoredhim,andjusttookaseatcloseto Mr.Stevens,andacrossfromRyan.

  "Soguys?Whendowegettoeat?I'mreallystarving."Bruno, asalways,startedtolightenthemood.Hepacedoverandfixed himselfatthearmrestofthesamechairClairehadseated herself.

  Mr.Stevenanswered."Whydon'tyougoandaskMartha;it willbesuchareliefbecauseI'mabouttocomeandbeatyouto apulp."

  "Ohgrandpa,areyoustillmadbecauseIhidyourwhisky? Thedoctorsaidyoushouldn'tdrink,soIonlyhelpedyou lengtheningyourlifespan."Brunorepliedandtheladies laughed.Hethenleanedoverandwhisperedsomethingto Clairewhichintensifiedherlaughtremendously.

  SuddenlyRyangotup,andexcusedhimselfclaiminghe'dbe backsoon.Itwasabrupt,andwhenhisglisteningeyescollided withClaire's,hisjawtightened.

  "Whereareyougoing?"Dorisasked,asthoughhewashis husband. "DoIreallyhavetotellyouwhatI'mgoingtodointhe bathroom?IsaidI'llbeback."Ryanboomedandshebither bottomlips,seeminglyannoyed.

  "Idon'tunderstandwhyyouworryabouthimtoomuch," Brunosaidhaltingly."nowondermenarescaredofyoubecause theythinkhe'syourhusbandorsomething.Afreereminder; don'thangaroundhimtoomuch,you'llendupaspinster."

  "OhshutupBruno!Maybeyoushouldstartlookingfora girlfriendyourself."Dorissnickeredandmadehimlaughaloud. Forsomereasons,itdidn'tseemforeignatallforthetwotobe bickeringconsideringtheaudiblesighsMr.Stevenskeptletting out.

  "IalreadyhaveagirlfriendD
oris.Don'ttakemeforaloner." Hereturned. "Don'tworryaboutthemClaire;Theyhavebeenlikethat sincetheywerelittle,onlyRyancouldstoptheirfights."Mr. StevenssaidinagrumblingvoiceandClairesmiled.

  "Isthatso?Wellatleastthere'sahumortotheirargument." Shereplied,andforamomenthermindwanderedofftothe imageofthethreegrowinguptogether,andthefactthatDoris wastooattachedtoRyanandstillnothingintimatewasgoingon betweenthem.

  Itwasalittlehardtobelieve;shewonderedhowpossible thatwas;Doriswasbeautiful,verybeautiful,awomanwho knewwhatshewantedandhowtogetit.Thenwhyhadn'the consideredhavingarelationshipwithher?AccordingtoBruno theyneverdated,andprobablyneverwill.ButitstillleftClaire skepticalasshewatchedDorissippingherwinewithaverysexy smile,asshetalkedtoBruno;shewasthewomaninlovewith Ryan,anditraisedClaire'sdislikesofherwayfurtherthan before.

  "SohowisworkClaire?Iheardyou'reworkingonmy companyproject..."AskedStevensandthetwogotengrossed intotheirownconversation,obliviousoftherest.

  Halfofanhourlater,Marthaannouncedthatdinnerwasready andinvitedthemtothediningroomfilledwithanalluring aromaofbakedsweetpotatoes,creamedspinachandalarge meatloaf.Itwasactuallyatwocoursedinnerastheothersideof thetablewasplantedwithfishscallops,cucumbersaladsand steamedbrownrice;perhapsforMr.Stevenshealthydiet.

  Twobottlesofwine;redandwhite,wereplacedinthe middle,togetherwithaflaskoffruitjuiceandplentyofglasses, withoutforgettingajugofdrinkingwater.Thesettingwas inviting,almostprofessional;andeveryoneplacedthemselves ontheirseat,inahugetable-for-tenorso,dressedwithwhite platesandshinysilverware.

  "Mm...thislooksdeliciousMartha,you'rethebest!"Doris utteredwithextraenthusiasm.Itseemedlikeshehadhadahalf ofawinebottleearlier,andshewasn'tgoingtoquitdrinking soonerevenduringdinner.

  "ThankyouDoris,enjoyyourdinnereveryone."Thekind womansaidbeforedisappearing,andRyanwalkedbackrighton time,andseatedhimselfacrossfromClaireamongallother emptyseatsaround.

  "Careforsomescallopsbeautiful?"Brunogrinnedwhile showinghertheplateafterDorishadsome. "No,I'mhavingthegiantmeat!"Shebeamed,whiletrying toignorethediscomfortRyankeptbringingherbybeingso close,yetsofar.Hewasbusyservinghimselfsomespinachand potatoes;samechoiceasClaire's,andcompletedifferentfrom others.Doriswaseyeingtheshowwithlessindifference.

  Brunogiggled."Okay,whathappenedtoHarry?Ithoughthe wassupposedtobehere?"heshothisbrotheraquestion. "Hehadotherplansfortonight."Ryananswereddryly, whilepouringsomewineintohisglass. "Somethinglikeadate?"Dorisasked,ironically,andalleyes turnedtowardher."What?Isn'thedatingthatAsiangirl?Your friendClaire,right?"ShelookedatClaire.

  "Maybe.I'mnotsureifthey'redatingyetthough;datingisa littlecomplicatednowadays."Clairereplied.Mr.Stevens laughedasifshe'dsaidwassomethingamusing.

  "Holdon,youmeanGena?GenaandHarry?"Bruno snappedwhilechewingtherice."Ohthisisunfair,WhywasIthe onlyoneleftout?"

  Dorisrolledhereyes."That'sbecauseyou'retoodenseto notice."sheblurted. "Insteadoftalkingaboutothers,tellme,whenwillyoutwo startdatingforreal?Ineedagranddaughteralready."Mr. Stevensbarkedallofasuddenandcausedasilence."Don'ttell meyoucan'tfindgoodwomenwhilethey'rejustrightinfrontof you."Hesaidplainly.

  Clairealmostchockedherjuice;notbecauseofhisobtuse remark,butratherthethoughtthatshehadsleptaroundwith hisgrandsonandthepooroldmanimaginednothingofthesort. Ryanreachedforanapkinandhandedherrightaway.

  "Thankyou."Shesaid,andhejustreturnedtohisfood.It washardtocope,butshetriedtotakeiteasyinregardtohis indifference.

  Dorisemptiedherwineglassandputitdown,thensaid,"I don'thaveanyproblemwiththatgrandfather,butitseemsyour grandsonshavepeculiartastesinwomen."Shesaidpointedly,a bitdrunkbutstillconscious;theyallkeptquite,listeningtoher. "WhataboutyouClaire?Youdohaveaboyfriendright?"She askedandClairegaped."Thatdull...no...handsomeanddull lookingguyIsawyouwithattherestaurantthatday, remember?"sheaddedanditirritatedhersubject."Actually,I thinkIknowhim.He'sa--"

  "Don'tyouthinkyou'vehadtoomuchtodrinkalready?" Ryansnapped,angrily.

  "Oops!Mybad!"Dorissmiled. Clairestaredather,puzzled,andDoriswasvividly beginningtogetonhernerveslittlebylittle.Sheonlydecidedto ignoreherremarksoutofherrespectforMr.Stevens.

  MarthareturnedwithatelephoneastherewasacallforMr. Stevens;Heexcusedhimselfasitappearedtobeanimportant call.Andthat'swhenapineapplepiewaspresented,andBruno jumpedforitrightaway;hewasagreateater.Thepielooked deliciousasMarthaservedthem,butClairehadalreadylosther appetite;shekeptpickingatthemeatloafandonlyfinishedher glassoftastyjuice,butshehadtoacceptthepieoutofcourtesy.

  Thefourofthemremainedsilent,withClairetryingherbest nottostumbleatRyan'sfeetfromtimetotime;herblistered ankleskepttormentingher.Atsomepointsheevenbrushed againstRyan'slegs,withoutanydeliberateattemptto,and wouldimmediatelywithdrawback.He'dlookatherblankly,and onlyonceClairesawalittlesmirkatthecornerofhismouth.

  "Sobeautiful,areyoureallydatingthedullandhandsome guy?"Bruno,likeabig-fat-traitor,raisedtheissueonceagain.If lookscouldkill,thenhe'dhavebeendeadandgonefrom Claire'sglare.Hereturnedremorsefully,butshedecidedto answer.

  "He'snotdull,havesomerespectBruno!"Clairebarked withaforcedsmile;wellJorgewasabitdull,butshehadn't appreciateanyonecallinghimnames.Hewasherbrother,and she'dstartedtolikehimrecently."Thethingis,Dorissawme with--"shestartedbutDorisinterruptedherbeforeshefinished hersentence.

  "OhnowIremember!He'stheCEOofDemottArchitects; youarereallysomethingClaire,"Dorissnapped,accusingly. "seemslikeyou'reonlysurroundedwithrichguyshuh?"She added,whilepouringanotherdrink.

  NowClairehadhadherfill."Whatareyoutryingtosay Doris?"Shesnapped.Brunostaredapologetically,andRyanhad unreadableexpression. "Me?Nothing,IonlysaidwhatIsaw;I'msorryifmy honestyoffendsyou"Sheshruggedhershoulders. "NoDoris,it'snotyourhonestythatoffendsme.It'syour rottenattitudeandimmaturewaysofdealingwithfacts."Said Clairecalmly,withamessageonlyDorisunderstood."Thatguy yousaw,ismybrother,andyou'reright,It'sfuntobewithrich guys.Don'tyouknowthatwaybetterthanIdo?"shedecidedto renderapayback."Excuseme,IthinkI'malreadyfull."Shegot upandleftthediningroom.ItseemedlikeDoris'splantomake herlookridiculoushadfailedmiserablyandshewasextremely embarrassed.

  "Ithinkyoushouldjustgohome."Ryansaidcrisply. "NoIwon't.I'mstilleatingthepie."Dorisanswered menacingly,andtheyglaredatoneanother. CLAIREwasseatedbythepoolwhenBrunoappearedasifhe'd beensearchingforheralloverthehouse.Shewasinspecting herbarefeetandfewbruiseswithhershoesdownthefloor. Shewasstillmad,judgingfromthefurrowofhereyebrows.

  "Ohthereyouare!"AnnouncedBrunoandsheliftedher gaze."OhGeez,whathappenedtoyourfeet?"Hedroppeddown reflexivelyandpeekedacloselook.

  "It'snothing,Ijusthadfewblistersyesterday."Claire repliedcalmly. "Nothing?Yougottabekiddingme!"Hesnappedandsaid after,"WaithereI'llgogetsomeBand-Aids."andshewatched himdisappearing.

  ThestingsonherfeetwastheleastofClaire'sworries.She simplycouldn'tstandthesituationanymore;withDoris breathingunderherneckandRyanbehavingasthoughshewas atotalstrangerwhohappenedtohavehishousepasswords. Howstupidwasthat?Shethought,almostaloud.Bruno returnedandtookherfeettohislap,onceseatedatthenext poolsidebed.

  "Nowithurts!"Shegrimacedwhenheappliedsome ointment. "Easy,it'llbequick."Brunosaidwithhisboyishsmileand shereturnedasmuch."I'msorryaboutearlier,Ifeelpartly responsible."Hestarted.

  "Noyouweren't.IthinkDorisandIarenaturalenemies." Sheforcedalaughandheseconded. "Justforgetabouther,sheisdrunkandwillprobablyregret whenthemorningcomes."Brunotriedtocheerherupbut Claireknewthatshewasmerelycommunicatingherfeelingsin themosthonestywaypossible.

  "Youknowwhat?Ijustdon'tunderstandher.Sheisso hostiletowardsme,asifI'vewrongedherdreadfully?It'snot thefirsttimesheprovokesme.It'snotlikeI'mthereasonwhy shecan'thaveyourbrotherforherself."Clairesaid. "Aren'tyou?"Brunotagged,teasingly.

  "I'mnot."Shereturned."Sosheshouldmaybefind someoneelsetoventhermisfortunebecauseI'mnotwith Ryan."

  "Caretoexplain?Isawyouleavinghisplaceandyou admittedsomethingwasup." "Therewasnothing.Wejustgotcarriedaway."Shereplied, almostfuriouslyandBrunolaughedatthesight."What?You thinkit'sfunny?"

  "No.Imean,youlookcutewhenyouaremad."Heteased herandshearchedhereyebrowsbeforebreakingintoa laughterherself."Huh?Youarelaughingnow."Hescreamed victoriously.

  "JustfinishplayingdoctorsothatIcanleavealready."She snappedathimandhequicklyscowled. "Whatdoyoumeanleaving?Youain'tgoingnowherepretty lady.G
randfatherwon'tletyou,especiallynotwithoutfinishing thepie."Hewarnedandshelookedarchlyathim."Okaynot onlygrandfather,butalsome,Ican'tletyouleavewhileyou saidyourselfthatyoucan'tsleepaloneinthathouse."

  "AndI'mnotgoingbackthere,I'mgoingtogetaroomina hotel,that'stheplan." "Ahotel?You'recrazy.Wehaveplentyofroomshere,and there'salreadyoneforyou.Sodon'tyouevermentionabout hotelsandstuffs,wellunlessyouwantmetoaccompanyyouof course."Hegrinnedandearnedhimselfahardnudge.

  "Youwish!I'drathersleeponarugorshareMartha'sbed. You'resountrustworthy."Shebeamedandstartedarguinglike kids,untilshecaughtaglimpseofRyanholdingDoristosupport hermovementtowardsherredMazda.

  "Youlikehimalotdon'tyou?"Brunobroketheawkward silenceinaseriousmanner. "Huh?"Shegasped.

  "Ryan.Doyoulovehim?"Hemadeaverydirectinquiry.

  "AreyoucrazyBruno.Ofcoursenot!"Claireansweredtoo quicklyandhelaughed. "Itsalright,youdon'thavetofeelbusted,Ijustsawtheway youlookedathim.I'mnotjudgingyouthough,Ionlydon'twant youtogethurtinanyway."

  "WhywouldIgethurt?"Curiositywasalloverherface. "Well--"Brunostuttered."WellRyanismybrother,buthe's toocomplex.Heis,justnotthetypeI'dbecomfortableknowing someoneIcareaboutisinvolvedwith.AndIdocareaboutyou, andIdon'twantyoutofallforhim,atleastnotwithoutknowing whatyou'regettingyourselfinto."hewasextremeseriousthan she'deverseenhimbefore.Butnoneofwhathehadsaidcould clearupthetensionbecauseheseemedtobeskippingthe majorpoint.

  "Ifeellikeyoudon'twanttotellmetherealissue,right?" Shequeried. "There'snothingmoretotell,andifthereis,thenonlyRyan himselfcantellyou."Brunosaidcasually. "No.It'snotimportant."Shesnorted,anditwasalie;she wasdyingtoknowwhoRyanStevensreallywas,andwhatmade himsodifferentandcomplex,butaskingformorewouldonly provedesperation.

  MEANWHILE,RyanandDoriswerestillarguingastheyheadto thecar.HesawClaireandBrunobythepool,ashewasopened thedoorforDoris;thelatterwasjusteyeinghimwithangst.

  Shelaughedcrazilyandtoldhim,"Doyouseethat?Our dearestClaireisnowflirtingwithourlittleBruno."Ryanignored hercomment,"NowtellmeRyan,doyouhavefeelingsforher?" Sheaskeddesperately.

  "YouaredrunkDoris."Hesaidshortlyandmotionedforher toenterinsidethecar.Dorisslammedthedoorangrily,instead ofdoingasinstructed.