Lady

by Roosh Valizadeh

  My sexual experiences have given me the wisdom and knowledge to have a career as a writer, but I don’t have anyone to love or a family of my own. If I could get in a time machine, go back to when I graduated from college, and ask my Iranian father to arrange a marriage with a girl from his country, I would not be an atomized man writing this book in a hipster café as I am now. I would have teenage children, a wife, and an army of pugs. Perhaps I’d have less money, and undoubtedly I would be less famous, but the emptiness I feel would be filled.

  Like me, there are many women who are single and in their late thirties, but because men are attracted to beauty and women to status, which I possess some of, I have a higher chance than a woman my age of creating a positive outcome. It’s unfortunate that feminism is teaching women to live according to the male biological clock by pursuing fun, career, and other ego-based goals before family. These women will continue to suffer as long as they attempt to find themselves through experiences instead of finding one good man who will love them.

  Strong And Independent

  “He can’t handle a strong, successful, intelligent, powerful woman.” When a girl is rejected by a man, she preserves her ego and relieves the pain of rejection by bragging about the traits she thinks she has, but these traits are almost always what men don’t want in a woman. Her declaration of strength is like a young boy flexing his muscles to show how strong he is. That may be a cute display, but it’s not a demonstration of genuine strength. A woman can never be strong in the same way as a man, who would ultimately kill other human beings to protect his family.

  Are you ready to murder others to keep your family, husband, children, and friends safe? Probably not, but I am, and this is why I have identified a number of potential weapons in the different rooms of my home that can kill or maim. The aggression and “toxic masculinity” that feminists love to complain about today are what kept women alive in the past, and which continue to keep them safe through the male-dominated fields of military and law enforcement. If this barbarism were switched off entirely, men would lose their innate ability to protect their families and morph into gay best friends, whom few women would want to marry.

  While a woman can possess other forms of strength, it is nearly impossible for them to exceed the innate barbaric strength of the average man, even if they have undergone specialized combat training. This is not to say that you are inferior to men, since you possess many traits that men don’t have, but strength in life-or-death situations is not one of them. When something goes drastically wrong, women often resort to crying as a bat signal that they want help, a strategy that is quite effective because it consistently elicits sympathy from masculine men.

  Where did women get the idea that men crave “strong” women? Ever since you were a toddler, you were taught in schools, by television, and through other cultural messages that men and women are literally equal from the neck up. As a result, you may have come to believe that whatever you’re attracted to, a man must also be attracted to. What are women attracted to? Status, intelligence, strength, confidence, money, and power. What do many women think men are attracted to? Status, intelligence, strength, confidence, money, and power. But what are men really attracted to? Beauty, femininity, and loyalty.

  A woman who thinks that men are attracted to the same things as she is will be the first to fail in the marriage game, because she’ll insist on displaying qualities that masculine men don’t want for long-term relationships. It’s certainly a bonus if my future wife can bring in some income, and I wouldn’t mind her being intelligent enough to handle a deep conversation with me, but her desire to put family above career is ten times more important than any secondary trait that is not essential to creating a family.

  You need only enough strength and independence to find a man who possesses genuine strength and independence. This means that you should pursue employment that merely allows you to maintain your beauty and ensure you have what you need to survive. Beyond this, you’re expending your time and energy on things that won’t increase your chances of landing a good man. The more you become caught up in your career, the more you’ll convince yourself that it’s the most important part of your life. It then becomes inevitable that you will pursue exciting sexual encounters to compensate for your soul-destroying office job while your biological clock steadily ticks away.

  Ask any woman whose long-term relationship fell apart around the age of 30 and you’ll sense her panic. I had a relationship end when I was 37, and though I was deeply upset, I didn’t feel panicked, because my father had his last child when he was in his early fifties. Although not ideal, it’s entirely possible for me to take a few years off, start hunting for a wife when I am in my early forties, and start a family a decade later. A woman can’t do this unless she pays vast sums of money for fertility treatments that are not guaranteed to succeed.

  The reason men work is so they are seen as attractive mates. It’s not because they love being stuck in an office for forty hours a week—they innately know that women don’t want a man who is poor. They work because they have to work. On the other hand, women start working at a young age because they are programmed to do so after being sold a false bill of goods that a career will be more fulfilling than having a family. Once your career satisfies all of your basic needs, and you no longer need a man to provide for you, your devil will tell you to seek high-status men. The problem is that many women confuse high-status men with men who don’t care about them, which ensures that they will end up in bad relationships that don’t lead to marriage.

  Having a career enables you to effortlessly feed your devil. If your financial status were much lower, and you genuinely needed a stable man in order to lead a comfortable life, would you pay any attention to a starving artist or musician? Would you be impressed by the “bad boy” drug dealer who you know has a rotation of other women? Would you quickly sleep with the alpha Chad who simply invites you over for sex without putting in any effort? The more stable and successful your career, the more likely you will seek relationships with men who won’t commit to you.

  Nice guys are now deliberately acting like jerks, “fuckboys,” and assholes because it’s the best way for them to get laid. I teach men how to simulate alpha-male behavior because women no longer want providers. When a man shows you his business card in the hope of impressing you, he is executing a game that worked for his grandfather in the days when few women worked, but today’s woman doesn’t need a man’s money—she needs a tall man with big muscles and flawless facial aesthetics who makes her feel butterflies in her stomach by paying her backhanded compliments and not showing too much interest.

  The more stable and comfortable you are financially, the more you will gravitate towards seeking men who excite you. You must consciously block this pattern of behavior by ignoring your devil’s call to seek an alpha male or “bad boy” who you think has high status. If you don’t, you’re in danger of losing your chance at creating a family.

  Another sign that your job isn’t essential for a healthy marriage is to ask what would happen if you lost your job and couldn’t get another one. Would your husband leave you? It’s extremely unlikely. I’ve never heard of a case where a man left his wife because she was unemployed. Now let’s consider the opposite scenario, where a man loses his job and remains unemployed. Will his wife leave him? Not only will she leave him, but we can expect that she will do so within two years.

  This shows that men don’t value a woman who has a job nearly as much as a woman values a man who has one. If you do find a man who claims that his future wife’s employment is important, it’s because he has been programmed to believe in the cult of equality and is insufficiently masculine to take pride in being able to take care of his family on his own. It’s unlikely that you will be deeply attracted to this type of man, or you won’t feel completely confident that he will be able to protect and provide for the family, which increases the likelihood that you will cheat on him.

 
; One great thing about being a woman is that if you find a successful man, you have the option of not working. Men never have this option. Unless a man finds a career that allows him to wake up whenever he wants and set his own schedule (as I can), he will slowly destroy his soul in an office job, where he stares at a computer screen for dozens of hours a week while enduring petty politics, mind-numbing meetings, and extended periods of sitting that slowly degrade his muscles, leading to chronic back and neck pain. His income may be high, and he may be able to afford the best of what a “Made in China” materialist life can offer, but if a man takes materialism too far and does not focus on creating a family, he will resort to over-eating, alcohol abuse, drugs, video games, pornography, meaningless sex, or some other hollow vice. It’s not only women who are affected by the ills of modern society.

  The bottom line is that you will not find lasting fulfillment through a career. It’s a wretched dead end. Many books have been written on how to find happiness by pursuing a career, but that approach leads to failure, and the latest trend of finding a “work-life” balance will also fail, because it’s impossible to contort female nature to that of a man’s, who, unlike a woman, must work in order to signal to his potential wife that he can provide for her. Women who are seeking providers will always appreciate men with a career, but a man seeking the future mother of his children is far less likely to.

  A shortcut to knowing that a man is serious about creating a family is if he doesn’t seem to care about your career. The more a man peppers you with questions about your “five-year plan” or path to middle management, as if he were conducting a job interview, the more likely he’s stuck on the materialist treadmill and is less concerned about family than money.

  When I’m on a date with a girl, I ask about her job to find out the extent to which she is entrenched in a masculine-oriented career program. If she says “lawyer,” “doctor,” or “marketing manager,” I know she will be so committed to her career that she will forsake having a family until her thirties. On the other hand, I jump for joy when I find out she has a menial job, such as supermarket clerk, because there’s no way she will sacrifice a family for that. For this reason, I actively pursue cute women who work in supermarkets.

  A second question I ask a date is when she wants to have children. Unless she says in two or three years’ time and tells me something that shows she’s excited at the prospect of becoming a mother, I know she’s not serious about having a family and hasn’t put as much thought into it as she has into making money. Understand that a man who is serious about having a family has ways to uncover your intentions based on what you say. If you want to turn off family-orientated men and select for ones who want only sex, there is no better way to do so than by saying you are a career woman who is “not interested in children yet.” He will immediately place you in the pump-and-dump category.

  Instead of asking how you can find fulfillment through a career, it’s better to ask how holding down a basic job will enable you to find fulfillment through a good man with whom you can establish a family. If you leave your parents’ home, you’re essentially forcing yourself to have a career so that you can pay for the high cost of enjoying a Sex and the City lifestyle. A better solution is to live with your parents so that you can devote more of your energy to finding a husband instead of wasting it on the rat race. Your parents are unlikely to mind you living at home, and doing so makes it harder for you to feed your devil through casual sex. It’s so easy to have sex while living alone that I’ve told men to assume that a woman has at least three new sexual partners for every year she has lived on her own. It won’t take long for her ability to form a pair-bond with a good man to be irreversibly damaged.

  When I wanted only sex from girls, I deliberately filtered out the ones who lived with their parents, because they were much harder to sleep with. Now, I am unable to contain my excitement when I meet a girl who lives at home and has to check in with mom by sending a text message stating she’ll be home soon. While you may think that I’m the exception in how I judge girls by their family values, there is a reactionary trend among men against women who have a feminist lifestyle.

  The fact that you’re even reading this book, written by a man who has been deplatformed and attacked in thousands of media articles, and are gaining value from it in spite of being taught anti-traditional ideas for many years, is an indication of the shift to a light form of traditionalism. Every year, thousands of women are waking up to the fact that careers and casual sex prevent them from forming a family. At the same time, men are becoming wise to not marry women who have a history of promiscuous behavior. I won’t be surprised if a man you go on a date with in the future brings up this very book as a way to test whether you have traditional beliefs.

  In the end, a woman who is seriously committed to her career is more likely to neglect her family than a woman who is not, because the former is dedicating at least 35% of her waking hours to something that doesn’t increase love in the home. “But I have to work, or else we can’t meet basic expenses!” There is a sliver of truth to this argument, especially if you live in an expensive city such as the one I come from (Washington, D.C.), but it’s likely your financial goals far exceed the need to survive, and revolve around a bigger house, fine dining, and luxury vehicles. If a housewife can sew, garden, cook, and homeschool, there will be little need for her to work. The expenses saved on daycare and automobiles, combined with a frugal lifestyle and the possibility of homeschooling, will be more than enough to make a single-income household viable.

  Single-income households won’t have a lavish lifestyle, but they will be full of meaning because the mother can spend much more time at home instead of devoting her energy to pleasing the demands of a corporate boss while her children are raised by strangers making close to minimum wage. Tales of abuse in day-care centers are enough for me to insist that my children never step foot in one. I find it unfortunate that so many women go against their maternal instincts and leave their children with strangers for most of the day during their most crucial years of development.

  Is it possible to have both a successful career and a happy family? Unless you’re a millionaire and can hire an army of assistants and nannies, such as Lean In author and Facebook executive Sheryl Sandberg, the answer is no. A typical middle-class woman will not be able to live the feminist dream of pursuing a high-powered career while raising a family. It cuts her nature in two, causing intense inner conflict and dissatisfaction. At work, she is forced to feed her devil, compete like a man, and pursue materialist gains for the sake of money, while at home she is expected to listen to her angel and be a nurturing mother who also wants to please her husband. This doesn’t work in practice. What ends up happening is that she stays in work mode at home, makes demands on her husband as if he were a co-worker, and treats her children like a business project to be managed, and this is assuming she has any energy left after a full day at the office.

  My mother raised me and my younger sister after she divorced my dad when I was nine years old. Even though she came home exhausted from her physically demanding job as a seamstress, she cooked us a meal and cleaned the house while I watched TV or played video games. As a result, she yelled at me countless times for being ungrateful and not helping around the house. Having a full-time job and taking care of the home often sent her over the emotional edge. We bickered regularly because of it. Our relationship was strained for many years, especially when I was in my late teens. After she retired, our relationship became stronger, because she wasn’t draining herself and—perhaps justifiably—taking out her frustrations on me.

  I learned from my mother that it’s too much for a woman to work full-time and take care of the home. Even if you’re able to pull it off, as my mom did, it puts a huge strain on family relationships and makes your life overly stressful. Since raising a family is a full-time job of its own, it’s simply not fair to expect a woman to also work outside the home.

  To accomm
odate women having their own careers, the culture tells husbands to pick up the slack and become something like a Mr. Mom by helping out with the chores. This only makes the problem worse, because it takes your man away from the role you want to see him in—a strong leader—and turns him more into a woman. I have read a dubious study that men who do more household chores get less sex from their wives. Whether or not this is true, it’s easy to see why a woman would not want to sleep with a man who acts like an equal partner or a gay best friend instead of a masculine leader.

  The ideal scenario is for the husband to work hard to provide for his family during the day and relax with his wife and children in the evening. While he’s at work, the wife takes care of the home, runs errands, and prepares dinner. This is far more superior to the schizophrenic model we have now where both parents work and the children are dumped in daycare or come home from school to an empty house, only to spend time with a stressed-out mom and dad who are staring at their smartphones.

  I deem it impossible for a woman to have a career and a family at the same time. It will create too much stress, forcing her to feed her devil while starving her angel. There are exceptions, such as if a woman has a part-time job, works from home, or is exceedingly rich, but the standard model of educating a woman for four years in university, when she’s at the peak of her fertility, then pushing her to spend several more years working on her career instead of establishing herself with a good man, and then continuing to work in that career after a late marriage, thereby sacrificing her family and increasing the likelihood of divorce, is untenable. You should not tolerate or accept it, because it goes against your female nature or feeds its most negative side.

  You may be afraid of what will happen if you marry a man who cheats, becomes abusive, or turns into an alcoholic when you don’t have a career. If you have to leave him but don’t have any job skills, what will you do to survive? First, every Western nation has welfare for single mothers. You won’t become destitute or homeless, even if you have no family or friends to help you.