Lady

by Roosh Valizadeh

  Accept your man for who he is. I feel a profound bond with a woman who understands me and my work because I know how hard it is for two individuals to truly understand one another. If I do something stupid or silly, and my woman smiles or lovingly gives me a rub, I will feel that I have found the perfect woman, because at the end of the day, a man wants a woman who allows him to be himself, warts and all. When a woman is constantly criticizing my behavior or calls me “weird” in a condescending manner, I start to feel self-conscious and reach for the actor’s mask to hide who I really am so that I won’t be judged, but once I put on that mask, the connection is broken.

  I apply this advice to myself when my woman does something I don’t like but which doesn’t hurt me. I take a deep breath and accept that she is her own person who also wants to be accepted as she is and not be forced to wear an actress’s mask. Of course, there are standards when it comes to our partner’s behavior and appearance, but the relationship is not benefited when you try to change the little things that are not causing real harm.

  What do you think will happen if you satisfy all five needs? If a man considers you attractive, you give him sex (or an implied promise of future sex), he enjoys spending time with you, you improve the quality of his life, you prove yourself to be honest, you accept him for who he is, and he’s in the settle-down stage of his life, he will be more than eager to start a family with you. The problem is that most women today satisfy only the sex need of men who are in the fun stage of their life or they insist on pursuing sexy men whose value far exceeds theirs, leading to dead-end relationships that don’t even last a month.

  For the longest relationship you’ve had with a man, I guarantee that you fulfilled at least two of his five needs, possibly three. The more needs you fulfill, the longer the relationship will last, but it will end if you don’t fulfill all five needs and the man is not ready for a commitment.

  My most recent relationship failed because the girl was not honest. Since that one critical need was missing, I ended it. If a man ends a relationship with you, it’s because you did not fulfill at least one of the five needs. Most men are not as analytical as me and operate almost entirely on instinct—they don’t even know what their specific needs are. This means they may not be able to tell you exactly why they chose to walk away, but their subconscious told them that a need was not being fulfilled.

  You might be thinking that fulfilling all five needs is hard work, and you’re wondering what you get in exchange. To be with a man is to complement your feminine energy with the masculine. You are protected and provided for in a relationship based on love that creates a family. If you choose the right man, you will satisfy your need for intimacy and companionship, but understand that a man is not your clown, dildo, punching bag, or therapist. He’s someone who holds your hand as both of you go through life, bonded to one another, but nothing more. Ideally, you should be so overflowing with feminine energy and love that fulfilling these five needs brings you pleasure and contentment instead of seeing them as a burdensome sense of duty.

  Men are as flawed as you are, but they are given tools by nature that allow you to live in balance and harmony with existence and God by experiencing love and creating life yourself. When you’re in your twenties, at the peak of your beauty and with no shortage of male attention coming in from all directions, you imagine the party will continue forever, but once you reach your thirties, you discover that the music does indeed stop, often abruptly, and unless you secure the commitment of a man who loves you, there won’t be much to look forward to apart from a shallow materialistic existence.

  It’s not your fault that you don’t automatically understand the needs of men, because you’ve been pushed into doing everything but understanding them. How many hours have you spent in university attending classes, doing homework, and taking exams? How many hours have you spent working in drab offices? How many hours have you spent consuming feminist-approved television shows, movies, magazines, blogs, and videos? And how many more hours have you spent on your smartphone uploading photos for validation or communicating with people you no longer care about? It all adds up to tens of thousands of hours, a colossal amount of time.

  What does it say about society that you’re encouraged to waste all that time without ever learning how to connect with the opposite sex? What does it say about men who spend thousands of hours watching pornography or learning game to get laid instead of looking for love? Even if you’re ready to love a man and be loved by him, most of the men you meet are so disconnected from the positive side of their masculine nature that they will remain locked in their fun stage, but remember that there is a foot for every shoe, and you only need to find one shoe to make it work.

  Beauty Bait

  Before you can get into a relationship with a man, you first have to attract him. Since men are very responsive to a woman’s beauty, this will be relatively easy. I’m going to focus on two areas that will disproportionately maximize your beauty: the length of your hair and your weight. If you want most men to see you as beautiful and you want to widen your pool of potential mates, grow out your hair as long as reasonably possible and maintain a slim figure.

  A man must be attracted to you physically before he will begin to attach himself emotionally, which is not necessarily true for you. If he’s strongly attracted to you, he will be prepared to invest a lot of time and effort in order to have sex with you. During the mating dance, you’ll have the opportunity to satisfy his four other needs and display your true value. If he recognizes that value and is no longer in his fun stage, there is a good chance that a committed relationship will develop. Most women are not genetically ugly, but they chop off their hair and become overweight, sharply reducing the number of men who are willing to get to know them for anything beyond sex.

  Another benefit of maximizing your beauty, even to the point where it may intimidate some men, is that you weed out men who purposely approach less attractive girls solely because they see them as an “easy” score, something I have done countless times in nightclubs. You may actually be approached by fewer men as you become more attractive, but the men who do approach will have stronger attraction to you. I predict that if you improve yourself physically, you will go from attracting a large number of fun-stage men to attracting a smaller number of higher-quality settle-down men.

  Having long hair and a slim body increase your attractiveness by denoting a superior level of health and fitness that can be passed on to potential offspring. If you’ve watched World War II documentaries that showed images of concentration camps, you’ll have noticed that most of the prisoners lacked hair. This is because protein and other minerals are required to produce it. You will see the same in documentaries about starving African children. Instinctively, men associate less hair with bad health or infertility and more hair with good health and fertility.

  Men may not even know that they noticed a woman because of her hair, but it’s often the first thing they see. The more hair on your head, the more likely a man will have a favorable impression of you that activates his inner hunter. You know your hair is serving as beauty bait when both men and women compliment you about it soon after meeting you. This is the case with my elderly mother, who takes great pride in having long, thick hair.

  Body size is also linked to fertility. Scientific studies suggest that a hip-to-waist ratio of 0.7, which is the typical hourglass figure, lends itself to higher fertility in women. It’s no surprise that if men are shown pictures of women with various hip-to-waist ratios, they find the women with a ratio of 0.7 to be the most attractive. Obesity destroys the optimal ratio and elicits less attraction from men. While some fat on women is healthy, it will be unappealing to men once it alters your body shape into something resembling a soda can, which will appeal only to men who have a fat fetish and enjoy feeding their women to make them even fatter.

  Fat feminists are hard at work trying to push the false notion of “beauty at every size,” but they are lab
oring in vain because you cannot significantly change the tastes of a man who prefers his woman to not increase her risk of developing diabetes, gallstones, and heart disease. A man doesn’t want to marry a woman who is shortening her lifespan due to a lack of self-control unless he is also doing so himself.

  Slim girls with long hair wouldn’t mind if the “beauty at every size” lie took hold, because it would reduce their competition. There are dozens of other tweaks you can make to your appearance, but if your hair is short and you’re overweight, they won’t significantly increase men’s attraction for you and the effort they’re willing to make to hunt you.

  A tragic irony is that a woman will try to improve every area of her life except her hair and weight. She’ll spend large amounts of money on clothing, double down on her career, pursue a master’s degree, get breast implants, plump up her lips, wear designer eyeglasses that cost over $500, get a tattoo on her arm, inject Botox into her forehead, and pursue other enhancements that may end up giving her a plastic appearance. Apart from breast implants, very few men prefer the plastic look, and the ones who do are looking for fun and arm candy, not a wife. Beauty does not come with an expensive price tag or surgery—it comes with the “boring” effort of letting your hair grow and watching what you eat.

  Any beauty advice I give you beyond your hair and your weight would be an attempt to tailor you to look like my personal dream girl, but based on my interactions with hundreds of men, most men prefer a look that leans towards natural and classic instead of overly done-up. I’ve never heard a man say “I wish she put on more makeup” or “I wish her lips were plumped up with fillers.” You don’t want to look like a street prostitute, but you have to show a hint of sexuality so that you will at least be noticed, which means not wearing baggy sweaters or pants that leave everything to the imagination.

  One way to experiment is to adopt a certain look and observe the type of men who pay attention to you. If a particular outfit or makeup configuration results in you attracting the wrong type of guy, drop it from your repertoire. For example, I know that if I wear an expensive suit, I will attract older women who are inclined to relationships. If I go out in jeans and a snug V-neck that shows off my impressive muscles, I will attract younger girls who are more oriented towards fun. Since I prefer girls in the age range of 18 to 26, I tend to show more skin, but I know that this comes at the cost of meeting girls who want to use me for my body.

  Let’s discuss the specifics of how to have long hair and an ideal body weight. For long hair, simply do not cut it. I find that girls have a compulsion to cut their hair more often than necessary because of “split ends.” Newsflash: men cannot tell if a girl has split ends! We don’t even know what a split end really is.

  Another excuse that girls use for cutting their hair is that it’s “healthy.” In my experience, women think that men perceive hair volume, health, and ends in the same way they do, but our primitive analysis of hair focuses almost entirely on its length and whether it smells good. If we look at your hair and think, “Wow that’s long,” you already have our attention, and we’re busy evaluating your body and other features, even if your hair is ravaged by split ends.

  Depending on your current hairstyle, you may have to go through an awkward phase that lasts several months before it starts looking good. Keep away from the scissors, use gentle hair products, and let it grow. Get it out of your mind that your split ends are making your hair look bad, and ignore other women who urge you to cut your hair in a spiteful attempt to sabotage your beauty. Grow out your hair until it’s well past your shoulders before considering a minor cut to fix the ends. Then allow it to grow further until it reaches the middle of your back. If you’re finding that your hair is growing slowly, consider increasing your protein intake and supplementing with biotin, which promotes hair and nail growth. Even women who are follically challenged can grow their hair past their shoulders.

  I don’t buy the excuse that long hair is “too hot” or “hard to take care of.” Attracting top-shelf men does require some sacrifice on your part, and if you consider how much time and effort you’ve already invested in your education and career, making a fraction of that sacrifice to enhance your appearance is a small price to pay once you consider the benefits you will receive.

  Achieving your ideal body weight is a bigger challenge and involves a more serious commitment. Your first aim is to achieve a weight that makes you look thin. This means no excess belly fat or fat on your thighs or rear that is starting to stretch your skin and develop cellulite.

  There are two reasons many women fail to achieve their ideal weight. First, they think it all comes down to exercise. While exercise does burn calories, it also increases your appetite, which makes it harder for you to control your food intake. If you visit countries where many of the women are thin, you’ll discover that they don’t work out. Exercise doesn’t have to be part of a weight-loss plan, although it will boost your health in general and combat the harmful effects of a sedentary lifestyle.

  The second mistake women make is eating small meals throughout the day as if they were grazing cows. I challenge you to find a study proving that this is an effective way to lose weight (I’ll save you the time: there isn’t one). Constant eating keeps your insulin levels elevated with the result that your body is continually primed for converting food to fat without burning any of it. The solution is intermittent fasting. In simple terms, it involves skipping breakfast, eating only full-sized meals, and not snacking. Its effectiveness has been proved in the bodybuilding community.

  Intermittent fasting is where you have a daily six-to-eight-hour window in which to eat. This keeps your insulin levels low and forces your body to burn fat. You are not allowed to consume any calories outside of the window period, meaning that you don’t eat for 16 to 18 continuous hours a day, though you can drink water and tea or coffee without sugar or milk. When your stomach hasn’t had any food for 16 hours, it shrinks and cannot handle a huge meal, with the result that you feel full faster when you do eat, naturally limiting your portion sizes. A suggested schedule is to eat lunch at 12pm, skip all snacks, and eat a second meal between 6pm and 8pm. The fact that you will be hungry before your first meal of the day confirms that you’re burning fat without having to exercise, as suggested by the saying, “Hunger is fat leaving the body.”

  If you graze throughout the day and never feel intense hunger, it’s unlikely you’re burning any fat. This has the effect of keeping your weight high. You then go to the gym, thinking that a workout will accelerate weight loss, but it only increases your appetite, and you end up eating more. Working out doesn’t even burn that many calories. Running a mile burns only 100 calories, which is less than a small chocolate-chip cookie. Unfortunately, some women have started to lift heavy weights to build muscles like a man, but bodybuilding only makes you look attractive to lesbians and bisexual men.

  If you want to lose at least five pounds, I advise the following: eat two meals a day in an eight-hour window, do not snack at all, and abstain from all sugary drinks and “sport” waters (a teaspoon of sugar in coffee or tea is fine, but only during your eating window). All sodas, even those that contain artificial sweeteners, must be banished from your diet. For the first week you try this, you will feel ravenously hungry before your first meal of the day, but your body will quickly adapt. Do not worry about what you eat. Simply eat what will satisfy you without making you feel bloated or overly full. If you want dessert, eat it immediately after a meal, not as a snack hours later.

  After one month, weigh yourself and see whether you’ve lost any weight. This will enable you to know what a baseline intermittent fasting program can do for you. If you didn’t lose much weight, there are three variables you can adjust. First, reduce the window period from eight hours to six or less, resulting in you going hungry for longer, which will burn more fat. Second, reduce your portion sizes. Third, eat only one meal a day with perhaps a banana substituting for the second meal. When I
lived in Ukraine, a country where most women are thin, I learned that many of them eat only one meal a day. I thought their thinness was due to genes, but it’s entirely the result of effort.

  Once you’ve adjusted one of the variables, wait a month before weighing yourself again. Has your weight gone down? If not, you’ll have to tinker further. If you lost weight and are satisfied with how fast the pounds are coming off, stick to your eating pattern. Once you hit your ideal weight, you can relax your fasting program, provided you can maintain your weight month after month.

  To maintain my weight of 185 pounds at a height of 6’2”, I eat two meals a day that are spaced eight hours apart. I abstain from all snacks and sugary drinks. What I love about this eating schedule is that I don’t need to be neurotic about what I eat. A meal is a meal, and I will eat whatever is put in front of me until I’m full, because I know that I can maintain my weight by sticking to my eating schedule alone.

  Another bonus of intermittent fasting is that you don’t have to go to the gym, which ironically may cause you to gain weight while making you appear bulky and masculine. A better solution when it comes to exercise, and one that is more enjoyable, is to install a pedometer app on your smartphone, head to a beautiful park, and do a few thousand steps while listening to the birds or your favorite music.

  One of the reasons we overeat is because it gives us pleasure in a life that is void of deeper meaning. We are stressed out from work, lonely from a lack of loving relationships, and atomized in a little apartment with unlimited digital entertainment. We look for escapes like casual sex, alcohol, drugs, and food to make us feel good in the moment. When you break into a tub of ice cream, you feel happy because it’s delicious, but when the pleasure stops, the weight gain begins and the unhappiness returns.

  Look for pleasure in healthier relationships with men instead of from food or other substances. The irony of overeating is that the more you eat for pleasure, the fatter you get and the harder it is to experience love with a man, since most men are not attracted to overweight women. Once you achieve your ideal weight and wow-length hair, you’re on your way to maximizing the amount of positive attention you get from men. It’s now time to focus on how to create a good first impression when meeting men so that they will invest in you.