Playing by Heart

by Cleary James

Rose took a big swig of brandy, and Lisa saw her expression hardening.

  ‘Yes,’ she said firmly, turning to Grayson, a new steel in her voice. ‘Yes, I want to report him.’ She took another gulp of brandy, and it seemed to be giving her strength. ‘You’re right,’ she said, a determined set to her jaw, ‘he shouldn’t get away with this!’

  Grayson nodded, the ghost of a smile hovering around his mouth. ‘Good.’

  Lisa felt a shock of admiration for Rose, along with a small stab of envy. She wished she’d had a bit of that courage and determination. If she’d stood up for herself, maybe Rose wouldn’t even be in this situation now. If only she hadn’t been so pathetic.

  ‘We should probably go to the police station now,’ Grayson said to Rose. ‘The sooner, the better.’

  She nodded and drained the last of her drink. She looked stronger already than she had when she’d arrived. There was some colour in her cheeks, and a spark of fire in her eyes.

  ‘I’ll get the spare room ready,’ Lisa said. She looked shrewdly at Rose as she stood to go. ‘And I’ll make you something to eat for when you get back,’ she added. ‘You’re probably hungry.’

  Rose nodded and gave Lisa the ghost of a smile. ‘I’m always hungry these days,’ she said wearily.

  While Grayson took Rose to the police station, Lisa made up a bed for her in the spare room. When they returned, she made Rose a bowl of pasta carbonara, watching her wolf it down with a kind of hunger that Lisa recognised with a stab of pain. Grayson put an arm around her and pulled her into his side, as if instinctively knowing she needed comfort.

  ‘Don’t beat yourself up about it,’ he said later in bed, when Rose was tucked up in the spare room. ‘None of this is your fault. You can’t blame yourself. You tried to warn her, but she’s a grown woman. She made her own decisions.’

  ‘I know,’ Lisa chewed her lip. ‘But I can’t help thinking if I’d been braver ... if I’d been more like her and stood up for myself back then ...’

  ‘You didn’t have someone like you to turn to,’ Grayson said, pulling her into his arms.

  ‘But I had you,’ she said, curling into him. ‘Thank God I found you.’

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Grayson breathed a sigh of relief as he pulled up in front of his house on Friday evening, after driving Rose to Hastings to stay with her parents. It had been a long week, and he was looking forward to a quiet night in with just him and Lisa. The day after Rose made her report, Mark had gone to the police station and accepted a caution, with the condition that he didn’t contact Rose again. From what the police said, he had obviously implied that he was just accepting the caution as a formality to spare everyone the stress and expense of going to court – still playing the good guy, as if he was admitting guilt for everyone else’s sake and not because he was actually culpable. Lisa and Rose knew just how charming he would have been with the police, how reasonable he could make himself appear, and they seethed over the way he could take people in. But frustrating as it was, at least it seemed to have the desired effect, and he hadn’t attempted to contact Rose since.

  He was disappointed to see the house was in darkness, meaning Lisa wasn’t home yet, but he wasn’t exactly surprised. It was the first day she had gone back to her studio since Rose had appeared on their doorstep, and no doubt she had a lot to catch up on. While Rose was with them, Lisa had stayed at home with her, fussing over her like a mother hen, feeding her up, encouraging her to talk about Mark, and persuading her to contact family and friends. It was touching to see how Lisa took care of her, he thought with a smile. Rose seemed to bring out her maternal instincts, even though they were the same age. Rose had been aloof at first, but she had gradually thawed and relaxed. Lisa’s patience and kindness had slowly broken through her defences, and they had seen another side to her – a lively, funny girl with a kind and loyal heart under her caustic exterior. They had all become genuinely fond of each other, and he and Lisa were almost sorry to see her go. But it would be nice to have the house to themselves again.

  His phone rang just as he got out of the car. He pulled it from his pocket, as he locked the car with his other hand. He smiled to himself when he saw it was Lisa.

  ‘Hi, sweetheart.’

  ‘Hi, are you back yet?’

  ‘I’m just home this minute.’

  ‘Is Rose okay?’

  ‘Yes. I left her with her parents. They seem really nice. She’ll be fine.’

  ‘Okay. I got delayed, but I’m just leaving now, so I’ll be home in about half an hour.

  ‘Great.’ Grayson pushed open the gate. ‘I can’t wait to—’

  Suddenly there was a movement in the shadows, a rustling in the bushes that bordered the garden. He was startled by a shape looming in the darkness out of the corner of his eye. He turned towards it, and then it was rushing towards him, and he saw a man’s face illuminated by the light from the street lamp. ‘Mark—’

  He was cut off as something heavy hit his shoulder, then his chest. His phone fell to the ground with a clatter. He thought Mark was punching him, and he fought to hit back, but his limbs felt weak and powerless, his head spinning dizzily. As he dropped to the ground, he felt a wet warmth spreading across his chest, and realised he was bleeding. He saw the flash of something silver in Mark’s hand, and as his head hit the tarmac of the drive, it fell to the ground beside him with a metallic clink. He was dimly aware of footsteps receding into the distance and Lisa’s voice calling his name as if from very far away before he lost consciousness.

  ‘Grayson!’ Lisa shouted his name repeatedly into the phone as she ran down the stairs and out to the street, her heart pounding. She looked around desperately for a taxi. Oh God, what was happening? Her head was spinning as she hailed a cab and scrambled inside.

  Once they were speeding towards Grayson’s house, she dialled 999 with shaking fingers, and asked for an ambulance. She had no idea what had happened, but there was no time to hesitate. All she knew was that Grayson had suddenly gone silent mid-sentence, and ‘Mark’ was the last thing he’d said before the phone went dead. She told the dispatcher that she thought he’d been attacked and needed help. She felt sick with fear, barely able to breathe. Why was the traffic so slow? Her mind raced, cycling through every nightmare scenario she could think of. Had Mark hurt Grayson? Was he lying injured outside? Why wasn’t he able to speak to her? She dialled his phone again and again, but it was out of service now.

  Her stomach lurched when they turned into Grayson’s road and she saw the flashing blue lights illuminating the darkness. She felt a mixture of relief and panic at the sight of the ambulance, glad that it had arrived so quickly, but still hoping that she had over-reacted and it wouldn’t be needed. That hope was quickly dashed as she saw that there was a police car too, and a couple of officers were milling around in front of the house alongside the ambulance crew.

  She paid the driver and stumbled out of the cab just as a team of paramedics were carrying a stretcher through the gate. She rushed up to them, and her worst fears were confirmed as she saw Grayson lying on it. He was unconscious and frighteningly pale. She was dimly aware of a policewoman standing by the ambulance saying something about stab wounds into her walkie-talkie.

  ‘What happened?’ she asked breathlessly. ‘I’m his girlfriend. I’m the one who called you.’ She could hardly speak, her heart hammering in her throat.

  ‘He was stabbed,’ one of the paramedics said, giving her a sympathetic look.

  Lisa looked around wildly. Grayson’s phone was lying on the driveway, a blood-stained knife beside it. She shuddered. ‘Will he—is he going to be okay?’

  ‘We’re doing all we can, miss. We have to get him to hospital as fast as possible.’

  Lisa just latched onto the fact that he was still alive. They were loading him into the ambulance now, setting up drips, hooking him up to machines.

  ‘Can I come with you?’ she asked.

  The paramedic looked to the policewoma
n.

  ‘You’re the person who called this in?’ the policewoman asked her.

  ‘Yes,’ she said agitatedly. She just wanted to be with Grayson. A policeman had got into the ambulance with him now and the doors were closing.

  ‘I’m sorry, you’ll have to stay here for now. We’ll need to talk to you,’ the policewoman said, nodding over Lisa’s shoulder to an unmarked car that had just pulled up outside the house. Two men got out and were coming towards them, pulling phones and notebooks from their pockets.

  She nodded, trying to swallow down her impatience as the ambulance sped off, sirens blaring. Of course, this was a crime. They would need to question her. It all seemed so surreal, as if it was happening to someone else. She felt dizzy and disoriented as she tried to take it all in.

  ‘Any witnesses?’ one of the detectives asked as he approached the house. He was the older of the two, tall and wiry. ‘Who called the ambulance?’

  ‘I did,’ Lisa said. ‘But I wasn’t a witness. I’m his girlfriend.’

  ‘Okay, I’ll need to take a statement from you.’ He quickly issued instructions to his partner, who started barking orders at the uniformed officers about securing the scene and making house-to-house enquiries, while he drew Lisa away a little to interview her.

  He introduced himself as DCI Watson.

  ‘You called the ambulance?’ he asked her, flipping open his notebook.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘But you didn’t see what happened?’

  ‘No. I wasn’t here at the time.’

  ‘How did you know the victim was injured?

  ‘I was on the phone to him. I’d called him to say I’d be late home. Then suddenly he stopped talking, as if he’d been startled by something.’ Tears stung her eyes as she relived those awful moments. ‘He said "Mark" – and then he went silent.’

  ‘Mark?’ DCI Watson raised his eyebrows, his expression blank. ‘Does that name mean something to you?’

  Lisa nodded. ‘He’s my ex-boyfriend.’

  ‘And you believe this Mark attacked Mr Fielding?’

  ‘Yes.’ Lisa’s voice came out as a croak. ‘I do. He’d been ... stalking me.’

  ‘Had he made threats?’

  ‘No, not threats exactly.’

  ‘Any history of violent behaviour?’ ‘ He wrote quickly in his notebook as they spoke.

  ‘Yes. He tried to ... assault me recently. And he’s been violent in the past – with me, and with his latest girlfriend, Rose. There’s a report,’ she said, with a rush of gratitude to Rose for her bravery. Thanks to her there was evidence, a record. ‘He was cautioned.’

  DCI Watson nodded. ‘Good. Well, if you could give me the details of where I can find Mark ...’ He broke off, his pen hovering over his notepad.

  ‘Mark Reader.’ Lisa gave him Mark’s details.

  He called the younger detective over and relayed the information to him, then got Lisa to go over the timeline of events again. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said, ‘but we need to get all the information we can as quickly as possible.’

  ‘I understand,’ she said, and went through it all again. Finally he took Rose’s name and contact details, and asked her about any places Mark might go apart from his house.

  ‘Thank you, Miss Matthews,’ he said finally, flipping his notebook closed. ‘We’ll probably need to talk to you again, but that’s all for now.’

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  A police car took her to the hospital. Only when they were on their way did she succumb to tears, not bothering to stop them as they streamed down her face. She whispered Grayson’s name over and over in her head, silently begging him to be all right. He was still being treated in the emergency room when she arrived.

  ‘He’s fairly stable now,’ a young doctor told her, her tone sympathetic. ‘The blade missed the heart, so he should be fine.’

  Lisa nodded gratefully, too choked up to speak. She paced the corridors, unable to sit still, while doctors and nurses came and went. She lost all sense of time, and she didn’t know how many hours had passed when she was told that Grayson was being taken into surgery. The staff were kind, keeping her updated on what was happening and trying to reassure her, but it was torture having nothing to do but wait and worry.

  It was almost a relief when the police arrived to interview her again. It was a welcome distraction from what might be happening to Grayson right now. DCI Watson and his partner, who he introduced as DS Patel, took her into a small private room with a desk.

  There was something strange in DCI Watson’s demeanour this time that sent chills up her spine, and she immediately got the sense that something had happened. They went over some of the details in her statement again, and after a few cursory questions, DS Patel slid a photo of Mark across the desk and they asked her to identify him. And then, very slowly and solemnly, DCI Watson told her that they had gone to take Mark in for questioning on the basis of her evidence. Police officers had called to his house – and found him hanging from a ceiling beam.

  Lisa just stared at them blankly, speechless. She felt frozen and detached, unable to respond in any way. She had nothing to say. There might have been a time when she’d have cried for the man Mark once was; when she’d have grieved the loss of the handsome lover who’d swept her off her feet; when she’d have mourned the waste of a life with so much promise and potential. Maybe if he’d shown her an ounce of mercy, she could have found it in her to pity such a lonely end. But he’d been remorseless, cruel to the last, and his final act on earth was an attempt to punish her by taking away the man she loved.

  He’d finally accepted that she wouldn’t have him, and so he’d wanted to make sure she wouldn’t have anyone. He’d left Grayson to die, like his life was nothing – just something he could destroy to make her suffer. She couldn’t forgive him that. And so the only feeling seeping through the numbness was satisfaction that he’d done his worst and hadn’t succeeded – and relief that he was finally out of her life forever.

  ‘Thank you,’ she said finally when the interview was over. Her legs were shaking as she stood, but somehow she managed to make it out to the corridor and into a toilet cubicle before she was violently sick.

  As she went back to her vigil, she felt increasingly helpless and scared. Ridiculously, she found herself wishing Grayson were here to put his arms around her and tell her everything would be okay. She didn’t know what to do without him. She couldn’t handle this on her own, and suddenly she felt more alone than she’d been in a long time.

  Then slowly it dawned on her that she didn’t have to be – not anymore. There were other people who cared about her besides Grayson, friends who she could count on to be there for her. She pulled out her phone and dialled Susie’s number.

  ‘Well, that’s that, I guess,’ Susie said when Lisa finished telling her about Mark. She cast a worried glance at Lisa. ‘Sorry, does that sound heartless?’ She shrugged. ‘I don’t know what to say.’ She was clearly just as flummoxed for an appropriate response as Lisa had been.

  Lisa shook her head. ‘No. That’s exactly how I feel.’

  Susie had come straight to the hospital when Lisa told her what had happened, and hadn’t left her side since, sitting with her as they waited for news of Grayson, holding her hand as she fretted, and listening as she talked about the dramatic events of the night. She was still there at four in the morning when Grayson was finally out of surgery and the doctor came to talk to her.

  ‘Your boyfriend was lucky,’ he told her. ‘He was stabbed in the chest, but the knife missed the heart. He did suffer a punctured lung.’

  Lisa’s eyes widened at this, fear gripping her.

  ‘Don’t worry,’ the doctor said, ‘it’s not as alarming as it sounds. It’s quite a simple injury. We’ve reinflated the lung, and he’ll be fine. We’ll be keeping him in for a few days. He’ll be a bit stiff and sore for a while, but he should be back to normal within a few weeks.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Lisa smiled, blinking
away tears. Relief coursed through her body, and all the feelings she’d been holding in for the past few hours flooded to the surface.

  ‘Can I see him?’

  ‘He’s not conscious yet, but you can look in on him briefly. Then I suggest you go home and get some sleep, and come back later on.’

  Lisa bit her lip. She wasn’t sure she’d get any sleep if she went home, even though she was bone weary.

  ‘I think it’s a good idea,’ Susie said, as if reading her thoughts. ‘You can come back to my place, though. You shouldn’t be on your own.’

  ‘Thanks,’ Lisa nodded, gratefully. It was a relief to let someone else take over. She didn’t think she could manage even the simplest decision right now.

  So after she looked in on Grayson, she let Susie drive her back to her flat. They went to Grayson’s house first so Lisa could collect some things. She was alarmed when they pulled up outside to find the police still standing guard and the entrance cordoned off by bright yellow tape. Of course, she thought dazedly – this was a crime scene now. It hardly seemed real. Her stomach turned over at the sight, bringing to mind all too vividly what had happened here earlier tonight. She kept seeing that knife going into Grayson’s chest, him lying bleeding on the drive, helpless and alone.

  She had to ask one of the police officers if she could go into the house, and one of them escorted her inside, hovering while she collected pyjamas and threw some things into a cosmetics bag. She didn’t linger, getting out again as quickly as she could, and averting her eyes as they passed the dark patch on the driveway that she knew was Grayson’s blood.

  Back at her flat, Susie gave her wine and cooked a pizza from the freezer. Lisa wouldn’t have thought she was hungry, but once she started eating, she realised she was ravenous. She wolfed the food down mindlessly, hardly tasting it. Despite how keyed up she was, she felt drowsiness overtake her, and she fell asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow.

  She woke with a start the next morning, the events of the previous night flooding her brain as soon as she was conscious. She glanced at the bedside clock, shocked to discover it was almost ten. She was amazed she’d slept so well, and felt guilty as her thoughts immediately went to Grayson lying alone right now in a hospital bed – and all because of her.