Don't Give A Dwarf (Dwarf Bounty Hunter Book 2)

by Martha Carr

  Johnny finally retrieved the mason jar of purple goo and dropped the bag with a thud. He held the jar up and wiggled it. “Ever seen this before?”

  Sevol tilted his head almost a hundred and eighty degrees and focused on the jar. “Yes. Where did you acquire it?”

  “Off my shirt after some Oriceran creature unleashed it from giant tentacles.”

  The draksa chuckled. “Whatever did you do to upset it so much?”

  He tossed the goo-filled mason jar up and down. “Nothin’. I tried to talk to it, but I reckon it ain’t smart enough for a civil conversation. It tried to disarm me and targeted a store instead.”

  “Oh, it is most certainly intelligent enough for civil conversation.” Sevol retracted his massive head and coiled his neck on top of his body before he lowered his chin onto the mountain of scales beneath him. “Do not underestimate a Logree, Johnny.”

  “Uh-huh. Do you mind tellin’ me what that is, exactly?”

  The draksa purred. “Logree. Oriceran, of course. A distant cousin to the Kraken and you are not the first to assume a lack of sentience. I imagine you won’t be the last. Quite dangerous and volatile when they feel threatened. And I do mean on both an emotional and incendiary level.”

  Johnny snorted. “I noticed.”

  “The Logree is quite a useful variable within certain habitats on Oriceran.” Sevol closed his eyes slowly and exhaled. “Think of them as an intelligent embodiment of naturally occurring forest fires. Logree are responsible for clearing away dead growth, renewing an area in a natural way to allow room and resources for new budding life to emerge.”

  “That’s actually cool,” Lisa muttered with a shrug.

  “But we ain’t on Oriceran, darlin’. And neither is the Logree. Any idea what it’s doin’ on Earth?”

  The draksa’s scales rippled again in pleasure as it slid its head under a patch of sunlight that flickered through the branches overhead. “What are any of us doing on Earth, Johnny?”

  With a sigh, he looked at Lisa and gestured toward the huge, dragon-like creature. “This one’s been around so long, he’s passed the speakin’ and thinkin’ stage and moved onto magical philosophy. Gotta love evolution, right?”

  She frowned at him and glanced at the draksa. “I guess…”

  “All right, Sevol. How ʼbout you bring that big ʼol thinkbox of yours outta the clouds and help me out. I ain’t seen one of these things before. Got any ideas why a new Oriceran creature decided to cross through worlds and play Smokey the Bear’s pyro cousin on manmade structures?”

  “It is an excellent question, Johnny. Alas, I do not have an answer.”

  Luther whipped his head up from where he’d been sniffing Johnny’s boots and his ears flopped against his face. “Ha. He said alas. Who says alas?”

  “Big lizards, apparently. Hey, Johnny—”

  “Not now.” The dwarf folded his arms and tapped the jar of goo against a bicep. “So how do I get rid of it?”

  “Ah. Another case, is it? Johnny Walker has finally pulled himself out of despair?”

  Lisa snorted and looked away quickly to hide a smile.

  “Naw, bein’ dragged into a case I can’t solve is the despair part. I was happy in retirement.” Sevol rumbled with laughter and he rolled his eyes. “This Logree’s havin’ a time terrorizin’ Florida, and I aim to stop it. I simply gotta nail down what works ʼcause bullets and bolts ain’t doin’ shit.”

  The draksa snorted and raised his snout toward the sun. “Well, you certainly would not be successful fighting a Logree with fire.”

  “Yeah, I learned that yesterday.”

  “How would one combat a fire, Johnny?”

  Come on. It’s been twenty years, and he still can’t answer a damn question with a straight-up answer.

  “You spray it with water.”

  Lisa shook her head. “The Logree’s been hiding in the Everglades, Johnny. It doesn’t look like water is much of a deterrent.”

  “It is not,” Sevol replied flatly. “But perhaps water in a more stable form.”

  The bounty hunter’s lips twitched in a smirk of realization. “You mean like ice?”

  “Not like ice, Johnny. Of ice. I have no doubt you possess the means with which to garner aid from one of them. Assuming, of course, you have not burned all your bridges in retirement.”

  He snorted. “Don’t worry, big guy. You’re the only creature in both worlds who gets live snacks delivered to their front door by me.”

  “How flattering.”

  “Thanks for the tip, Sevol.”

  “Thank you for the snack, Johnny. Do come see me again before the next twenty years have run their course.”

  “Yeah, we’ll see. But don’t hold your breath.”

  “Not even underwater, Johnny.”

  Picking up the duffel bag, he stowed the jar of goo in it, zipped it, and slung the strap over his shoulder. “Time to go, boys.”

  “Wait, that’s it?” Rex looked from his master to the already snoozing draksa. “We did all that work for a five-minute conversation?”

  “Johnny. Hey.” Luther backed away from the draksa, panting. “How long is its body, Johnny? Like when it’s not in a pile?”

  “Oh, yeah. Does it have legs?”

  “Where’s its butt?”

  The dwarf stooped beneath the mangrove trees and retrieved the rope to wind it around his arm and shoulder as he walked. The hounds hurried after him, and Lisa cast Sevol a final awed glance before she scrambled through the low-hanging branches.

  “Okay, you obviously had an aha moment back there,” she muttered and stopped when the branches he’d pushed aside swung in front of her. “But I get this feeling it went right over my head.”

  “Ice, Lisa. We need an endless supply of ice.”

  “Yeah, that’s where I thought you were heading with this. Thanks.” She nodded at him as he held the last of the particularly thickly growing mangrove branches out of the way for her. “So you want to go find a Crystal now?”

  “Look at you. Puttin’ all the pieces together yourself.”

  “Johnny, it was hard enough to get you to accept having me as your partner.”

  “It ain’t happened yet, darlin’.”

  She bit her lip and forced herself to ignore that. It happened, all right. And he knows it.

  “I’m still having a little trouble seeing you teamed with a Crystal and asking them to help us defeat that Logree.”

  He stopped on the other side of the thick mangroves and his boots squelched in the mud when he turned. “I ain’t buildin’ a whole team if that’s what you’re worryin’ about. No Crystals on the case. I’m gonna ask real nicely for some portable magic and take that with us.”

  “Oh, right.” She laughed, but it died quickly when she saw his face. “You’re serious.”

  “Sure am.”

  “That’s a big favor to ask of someone. To give you a piece of their magic.”

  “Uh-huh. But I know one Crystal in particular on Marco Island who owes me a favor. Or five.”

  “Please tell me we’re driving to Marco Island.”

  Johnny smirked and strode ahead through the swampy undergrowth without a word.

  Chapter Eighteen

  They made a quick stop at the cabin to switch out the duffel bag for the explosive disks he strapped to his ammo belt and to trade the airboat for Sheila. Plus, he wanted to check on the kid.

  He found Amanda curled on the couch beneath the quilt she’d taken off his bed. His eye twitched when he saw it. Damn. I told her not to go through my shit, but how the hell can I be mad about this? Either she misses me or she broke the rules to get even.

  Johnny left her sleeping on the couch and walked quietly down the hall to let himself out through the front door. He whistled sharply, and both hounds came running around the side of the house from the back.

  “We’re ready, Johnny!”

  “Yeah, more adventures. We gonna hunt a Crystal too now?”


  “Naw, you boys are gonna stay here. Keep an eye on Amanda. Be good company if she wakes up.”

  “Yeah, sure, Johnny.” Rex sat to scratch behind his ear. “We’re all over it. Pup won’t get into any trouble while we’re on watch.”

  “What he said.” Luther’s mouth opened repeatedly and his jaws didn’t entirely close as something crunched between his teeth. “Ow. Shit, that’s sharp—ow!”

  “Luther,” he snapped and raised his index finger. The hound sat. “What the hell’s in your mouth?”

  “Nothing.” The dog’s jaws opened again and he lowered his head toward the ground. He licked the grass until a section of the chicken wire fence coated in drool toppled onto the grass.

  The dwarf stared at it, snorted, and folded his arms.

  “Oh, shit!” Rex trotted toward his brother and sniffed the piece of fence quickly. “You did it. How stupid do you have to be to keep trying to eat it? We’re three, man. Grow up.”

  “I might be stupid, Rex…” Luther licked his muzzle, then bared his teeth and uttered a low growl. “But my teeth are way sharper than when we were pups.”

  “Give me that.” Johnny snatched it off the ground and shook it at Luther. “Leave the fence alone, hear? I ain’t cleanin’ bloody shit off my floors.”

  The hound cocked his head. “Why? Somethin’ wrong with your butt?”

  “Get inside and watch the kid,” he snapped and pointed at the house.

  “You got it, Johnny.”

  “Yeah. Count on us. We can do anything. Climb trees. Swim. Chase stuff. We don’t have to feed the pup, do we?”

  “No, but she can feed us.”

  The dog door clacked open and shut behind them, and he turned toward Sheila. He looked at the chewed, twisted metal in his hand before he threw it into the bushes beside the drive. Somethin’ is seriously wrong with one of my hounds.

  Lisa was already seated in the Jeep when Johnny reached it and opened the driver’s door. He paused when he saw her, then snorted and climbed in. “Already making yourself right at home, huh?”

  “Sorry, should I have asked Sheila’s permission first?”

  He sniffed and cranked the keys in the ignition. “You’re hilarious.”

  “And I don’t think you’re as prickly about your personal space as you want everyone to think.”

  “Uh-huh. Just like you ain’t as bothered by my drivin’ as you say you are.” He jerked the shift into reverse and lowered his head to look at her as he raised an eyebrow over the rims of his sunglasses.

  She braced herself against the door. “Okay, fine. Forget I said anything. But please don’t—”

  Johnny floored the accelerator and Sheila lurched at top speed in reverse, bumped along the dirt drive, and threw up thick clouds of dust around the hood of the car.

  “Johnny!” Lisa shrieked. “Are you insane? Turn around!”

  The dwarf grinned and looked in the rearview mirror, his hand draped casually over the steering wheel.

  “Fine. You’re prickly. I don’t care. Now please, turn around and drive like you have a brain!”

  Sheila went over a small ditch at the end of the drive before he jerked on the steering wheel and spun a reverse doughnut out onto the frontage road with a roar of the engine and a spray of dirt from the wheels. He switched from reverse to drive and they hurtled down the road toward Everglades City.

  “Jesus Christ.” Lisa removed her hand from where it clutched the armrest on the door and licked her lips. “You can’t do shit like that, Johnny. I don’t know what—” She looked up at him and his raised eyebrow again. “Don’t say it. I know. I already watched you.”

  “I’m only lookin’ for a little faith, darlin’.”

  “That you won’t roll this Jeep into the swamp and drown us both? Sure. I’ll work on that. But you gotta give me somethin’ to work with.”

  He reached into the front pocket of his button-down shirt and pulled out a five-count pack of gum, thrust it in front of her, and smirked as he stared at the road. “Juicy Fruit?”

  “That’s not what I meant.” Lisa scowled at him and when he didn’t lower his hand, she rolled her eyes. “That’s my favorite kind.”

  “Huh. Go figure.”

  Lisa snatched a stick out of the pack, ripped the wrapper open, and crammed the gum angrily into her mouth, breathing heavily through her nose. By the time he was chewing his, she was laughing.

  “Okay, so who is this Crystal who owes you a favor. Or five?”

  “Half-Crystal, really.” He sniffed and took the exit coming up on their right. “But the magic’s the same, right?”

  She stared at him and waited for the explanation she knew was coming.

  “’Bout seventeen years ago, I was on a case in Miami. Goin’ after a Kilomea with way too many daddy issues and a back-room gambling ring under his thumb. Met the Crystal halfway through and couldn’t exactly turn my back when I realized what was goin’ on.”

  “What was going on?”

  “The Crystal had a gamblin’ problem and owed more money than is acceptable to bring up in conversation.”

  “Right. But we’re not simply having a conversation.” Lisa folded her arms. “You’re telling me about a contact that’ll help us with this case.”

  “The exact amount don’t matter, darlin’. A lotta zeros.”

  “Okay. Does this half-Crystal have a name?”

  “You bet.” I ain’t spillin’ those beans until I got no other option.

  Lisa studied his profile as he drove them down Everglades City’s main street and narrowed her eyes. “You’re being ridiculously vague, especially for someone who likes to have all the details.”

  Johnny sighed. “You’ll have a clearer picture when we get there, all right? Let’s leave it at that.”

  Ten minutes later, they pulled into the parking lot of a nondescript one-story building—a small strip mall that had been purchased, gutted on the inside, and turned into a single establishment.

  She shut the Jeep door behind her and stared at the flickering neon light over the steel door. “Dark Moon?”

  “Yep.”

  “Johnny, a strip club’s one of those places you go to on your time.”

  He stepped around Sheila, whipped his sunglasses off, and raised an eyebrow at her. “You’re chock-full of wit today, ain’t ya? We’re here to see the owner.”

  “Oh. Your mysterious half-Crystal contact owns a strip club. You know, you said he owes you a favor, but it looks very much like this guy has something hanging over your head instead. Is there anything your partner needs to know before we head into such a…respectable establishment?”

  The dwarf grasped the door handle and pulled it open with a quick jerk. “Yeah. Don’t touch the couches.”

  “O, jeez.” She rolled her eyes and stepped through the open door. Johnny turned to scan the parking lot before he slipped inside after her.

  Guns N’ Roses played over the sound system and two girls danced on different stages in the center of the club.

  The bounty hunter glanced around and squinted at the dark corners in the rounded booths and the red light that cast its glow over everything. Someone could spend all day here and never notice time passin’. No cover charge helps.

  There were six patrons in Dark Moon at 2:00 pm. Four of them sat in the armchairs around the stages, spaced far enough apart that they couldn’t see each other as they all stared at the dancers. A fifth stood at the back, engaged in animated conversation with one of the strippers. The last guy sat at the bar, his head hanging and his shoulders hunched as he stared into his drink.

  It ain’t the worst place to be.

  They headed directly to the bar and a tall woman in a miniskirt and a cropped tank top grinned at Johnny. She studied him speculatively and tossed her short black hair out of her eyes. “Hey, there. What can I get you?”

  He rapped his knuckles on the bar. “I’m lookin’ for Logan.”

  “Oh, yeah?” The bartender bit her lip. �
�You have an appointment?”

  “Not today, sweetheart. Go tell him Johnny Walker’s waitin’ at the bar, huh?” He winked at her and nodded toward the room off the bar into the back.

  “Yeah, okay.” With a smirk, the woman gave Lisa the same intent study and jerked her chin at the tall brunette. “You want a drink, honey?”

  “No thanks.” The agent smiled and waited for the bartender to disappear into the back. “An appointment?”

  “This ain’t the only joint Logan owns.”

  “More strip clubs?”

  “Naw, only this one. But a real high-end nightclub in Miami and maybe an apartment building. Or condos.” He shrugged. “We’re lucky we chose the right place on the first attempt.”

  “Uh-huh.” She turned to glance at the dancers on the stages, then shook her head and faced the bar again. “It’s a weird combination of businesses to run.”

  “Hey, different strokes, right?” He rubbed his mouth and beard and stared at the door through which the bartender had disappeared. So this is what that Crystal wanted all the money for. I can’t say it wasn’t put to good use. Unless it’s as empty as this after five o’clock.

  The bartender walked slowly behind the bar again and returned Johnny’s wink. “She’ll only be a minute.”

  “That’s fine.” The dwarf glanced at his watch.

  Lisa frowned teasingly at him. “You look nervous.”

  “I ain’t nervous. Only—”

  “Well, I’ll be damned. Johnny Walker.” A gorgeous woman with thick blonde curls stood in the doorway to the back, her arm draped against the doorframe. She studied him and grinned. “You have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to find me again.”

  “It’s been a while.”

  “Too long, Johnny.” The woman slunk out of the doorway, stepped slowly around that end of the bar, and trailed her fingertips behind her along every bar stool in line. When she reached the dwarf—and stood at least eight inches taller than him in bright yellow stilettos and her striped mini skirt in black, pink, and neon-orange—she trailed manicured fingers through his hair and leaned toward him.