Off the Air

by L.H. Cosway

  “It’s a quote from the writer John Updike,” he explained. “Don’t pay too much attention to all that,” he gestured to my phone. “Before long the real world will be meaningless, and the only meaning you’ll find will be in tiny little love hearts and complimentary comments from strangers. And then, when all that goes away, because everything goes away eventually, what will you have left?”

  This was typical Paul speak. He often liked to pipe up with random philosophical ramblings. “You talk like I need this.” I held up my phone. “It’s just a distraction. I can give it up whenever I like.”

  Before I could react, he swiped the phone from my hand and shoved it in the pocket of his jeans. “Okay then, in that case, I’ll keep this for the day.”

  I reached right into his pocket to take it back. “No, you won’t.”

  Paul chuckled. “See what I mean? You’re addicted.”

  “What do you think of Autumn?” I asked, deciding to change the subject.

  Paul’s attention went to where she sat a few rows in front of us. “She seems nice.”

  “Just nice?”

  “Yes, what’s wrong with nice?”

  “So, you don’t think she’s pretty?”

  “She’s pretty. You’re pretty too. Lots of people are pretty.”

  “You should ask her out,” I suggested. “I bet she’d say yes.”

  “Maybe, but she flies home tomorrow. Plus, she lives in New York. Long distance isn’t really my thing.”

  He did have a point there. “That’s it. As soon as we get home, I’m setting you up with someone. You haven’t had a proper girlfriend in ages.”

  “Well, I wouldn’t say no to a date with your sister. Has she decided to ditch that fool she’s married to yet?” Paul teased. He’d always thought Lorna was hot.

  “Unfortunately for you, she’s still happily married.”

  He sighed. “Just my luck.”

  When we arrived at our destination, my eyes were inexplicably drawn to Cal as he pulled off his hoodie and shoved it in his backpack. The short sleeves of his T-shirt showcased his tattooed, muscular arms. Somehow, even the black tracksuit pants he wore were sexy.

  Okay, enough was enough. I was officially vowing to ignore my contradicting feelings and attraction for Cal for the day. I was going to get out of my head and just run. Today, I was going to have some fun for a change.

  Catching up with Isaac, I said, “Hey, I’ll come with you and your cousin tonight. I’ve always wanted to see someone spin a car.”

  “Yes! You’re going to have the best time, I promise,” he said with a grin.

  I gave him a thumbs up and walked ahead. The Three Castles was an abandoned building from the late 1800s that used to be a cigarette factory. It didn’t look like a factory though, it looked like, well, a castle. The lower level was full of graffiti and overgrowth, while the upper levels still looked like something out of a medieval play. It was completely unexpected and was going to look great on camera.

  One of the advantages of being a part of this show was that the behind-the-scenes people usually got permission for us to film in locations that were closed off to the public. Sometimes they didn’t have to, but when we were entering a place like this, it was typically required. Anyway, it meant we didn’t need to worry about getting into trouble.

  I took a look around and managed to climb through one of the windows that wasn’t boarded up.

  “Leanne, will you wait? We haven’t set up properly for filming yet,” Barry called.

  I ignored him. I just needed to keep moving.

  On the inside the place was a wreck, the brick crumbling away. The decay appealed to me, the knowledge that even though the building was in disrepair, it still survived. I climbed to the very top of the building and ran along the turreted roof. I jumped from the areas where the bricks jutted out, just like stepping stones.

  Down below, the others still hung about outside. It felt nice to have a moment to myself. I sucked in a deep breath and looked up at the sky. Today it was clear blue, almost azure, a dot of white clouds here and there, as though drawn from an artist’s palette.

  “Hey, Leanne!” someone called. I glanced down and good Christ, Autumn was awkwardly trying to climb one of the lower walls. I jumped down to help her before she hurt herself.

  “It’s probably not a good idea for you to be up here. Our insurance is already through the roof, what with all the accidents me and the boys get ourselves into.”

  “I was just wondering if we could have a chat?”

  “Sure, but you don’t need to break your neck for it,” I said and caught her right before she almost tripped over a loose plank of wood.

  A whoosh of air escaped her. “Crap, thank you. I’m such a klutz.”

  “Come on, we can find a quiet spot over here.” I led her to one of the boarded-up windows. “What did you want to talk about?”

  Autumn pushed some of the loose strands that had fallen from her ponytail out of her face. “You’re the only girl in the group. I thought that you might have some interesting perspectives.”

  “Such as?”

  She gave a light chuckle. “Well, what’s it like to share a space with five gorgeous guys?”

  I gave her a cynical look. “It’s an orgy a minute. Next question.”

  She flushed bright red, her expression apologetic. “Sorry, that was nosy, wasn’t it?”

  I waved her off, deciding to go easy on her. “Don’t worry about it. A lot of people don’t get that just because I spend all my time around five good-looking guys, it doesn’t mean I want to shag them.”

  With the exception of Cal, I’d never had a single sexual thought about any of my co-stars. Sometimes it bothered me that that was all people ever wanted to know about. I looked back to Autumn.

  “There’s a lot more to me than simply being the lone female in this group. I’m a freerunner. I also love astronomy I have a fondness for science fiction novels and a weird obsession with movie clips.”

  “Oh!” Autumn exclaimed. “What’s your favourite movie clip?”

  I grinned. “I can’t answer that. There are too many.”

  “Well, personally, I can watch Mr. Darcy dive into that lake all day long.”

  “Right.” I chuckled. “You can never go wrong with a bit of Colin Firth.”

  Autumn cleared her throat. “So, can you tell me a little bit about parkour? I love watching you guys, but I have to admit I don’t know a whole bunch about the sport.”

  “Technically, it’s more of a discipline than a sport. Parkour is all about getting from one point to another in the quickest, most efficient way possible. But with freerunning, there’s a little more showing off, lots of backflips and fancy looking tricks. Then there’s urban exploration, which is what we’re doing right now. We pick abandoned, often forgotten about buildings, or spots where it’s dangerous to go and explore them.”

  “Sounds like it takes a lot of courage.”

  “It does, but mostly it takes a certain type of person. All of us get off on a little risk.”

  “So, it’s an adrenaline rush?”

  “Definitely.”

  She nodded and looked away, adjusting something on her recorder before she continued, “Do you mind if we talk a little about Callum? It’s totally fine if you don’t want to.”

  I hesitated, then said, “What do you want to know? If you’ve watched the show, then I’m sure you know all about us.”

  “I guess I just don’t get it.”

  I frowned. “What don’t you get?”

  Autumn shrugged. “Why you two hate each other so much.”

  I clammed up. “We don’t hate each other.”

  Her eyes widened with interest. “Oh, well, it’s just that, it can come across that way on screen sometimes.”

  She was right. A lot of our arguments had made it onto the show, mostly because when I got riled up about something I tended to forget there were cameras watching. Cal did too.

  I
gave her the simple explanation. “We’re both very hot-headed. I guess that’s why we never worked out in the end.”

  Autumn’s face was empathetic. “If it’s any consolation, I still have hope for you guys. I’ve literally only spent a few hours with you, but the way he looks at you is special. You don’t see a lot of men looking at women the way Callum looks at you.” She gave a self-deprecating laugh. “Or maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic.”

  “What way does he look at me?” I asked curiously, the question tumbling out before I could stop it. So much for spending the day not thinking about Cal.

  She thought on it a second, her face turning wistful. “Like you’re his everything.”

  My heart gave a hard, lung bashing thump. The past few weeks, Cal had been very forward with me, his attention often overwhelming. I mostly put it down to him trying to break me, win our bet, but what did it mean if Autumn observed him looking at me like that when I didn’t know he was watching? More specifically, when he didn’t know he was being watched?

  I dragged myself from my thoughts, willing my heart to stop racing. “Is there anything else you’d like to talk about.”

  She gave an enthusiastic nod and we spoke about how I got into parkour from a young age. I saw some teenagers doing it in my local park and became spellbound. I told her how being able to do things with my body few others could held a strong appeal. I’d always craved independence, having moved out of my parent’s house at eighteen. Parkour was another form of independence. It made your body strong, gave it escape routes few people had access to.

  Somewhere along the way, I launched into what happened to me when I went to that bar. Autumn leaned forward, engrossed.

  “I was leaving and three guys approached me. They wanted to steal my phone, probably my wallet too. If I didn’t know parkour, I wouldn’t have been able to get away from them. But I did, which meant I lost them easily.”

  “Wow, that’s amazing. It’s too bad they didn’t get it all on camera. It would’ve made for an exciting action scene.”

  “I doubt anyone would try to rob me with a film crew following me around.”

  Autumn shook her head at herself. “Right. My bad. But seriously, more women should take up parkour. They always say that if you encounter a thief, your best bet is to drop your stuff and run.”

  “True, but parkour comes with risks. It’s easy to injure yourself if you don’t know what you’re doing.”

  “Have you ever gotten injured?” Autumn questioned with interest.

  I looked away, the lie solemn on my lips. “Small things, but nothing serious.”

  Over her shoulder, Cal and Paul appeared.

  “There you two are. We thought we lost you,” Paul said, while Cal eyed Autumn suspiciously, probably wondering what we’d been talking about. He shot me a questioning look and I reminded myself that today was a Callum Davidson free zone.

  I moved by him and climbed to the top of the building again. Paul followed, then completed a backflip.

  “Wow, that was incredible,” Autumn exclaimed, clapping.

  He shot her a wink. “Glad you’re impressed.”

  I went to sit on the edge of the wall and realised belatedly that I was wearing my first-person camera. What I’d told Autumn about sneaking into the city alone to go to a bar that night was recorded, and I knew I was going to get a scolding from Barry over that one when he went through the footage.

  “Hey, so, who’s coming spinning?” Isaac asked once filming wrapped up for the day.

  “Not me. I’m in the mood for a quiet night. I’ve got a book and a bubble bath with my name on it,” Paul said. Out the corner of my eye, Autumn stood off to the side, looking a little disappointed.

  I shook my head at him. “Okay, Grandad.”

  Isaac looked to me. “Leanne, you’re coming, right?”

  “Yep. Lead the way.”

  Unexpectedly, Cal added, “I’ll come too. Sounds like it could be fun.”

  I knew he was only tagging along because I was, though considering what Autumn said to me during our chat, I wasn’t feeling as hostile towards him as usual.

  In fact, I wasn’t feeling hostile at all.

  Isaac rubbed his hands together and smiled wide. “Fantastic. Let’s go.”

  Thirteen

  Leanne

  In the end, James, Michaela, Autumn, Isaac, Cal, and I all climbed into a minivan to drive to Soweto, the township where Isaac grew up. Jimbo came along to capture some footage since word got out to Barry and he thought it could make for some interesting TV.

  Neil dropped us off a little ways into the township, and we decided to get taxis home later so he didn’t have to drive back into the city to get us.

  Isaac led us past row upon row of one-story houses. Some were more dilapidated than others, but most were surrounded by high walls at the front. At first the houses were mostly brick, but the further we got, I saw more that were made from corrugated steel or a hodgepodge of different materials.

  I knew that townships were supposed to be some of the poorest neighbourhoods in South Africa, and this one, in particular, had over a million people living in it. Cal walked beside me, and I could see him taking it all in, the same as me.

  I didn’t know what I expected, but even though the area was poor, it didn’t feel like the people were miserable. Lots of them were going about their business, chatting with their neighbours or hanging out with friends. When it came down to it, it didn’t seem a whole lot dissimilar from any working-class neighbourhood back in London. The setting and culture were different, but the people were the same, just living their lives.

  Paul always said that the problem with most people nowadays was that they tended to fixate on division and forget a simple fact. That in spite of cultural or racial differences, at our core, we were all human. And all any of us wanted was to be loved, to be safe, to have a roof over our heads.

  I applied that theory to myself. I had a roof over my head, I was safe, my family loved me. Maybe I just needed to focus on that instead of agonising over Cal and pining for what was missing. The problem was, I tended to obsess over the bad instead of being thankful for the good.

  We reached an open area where a large crowd had gathered. I heard a car engine revving in the distance. A guy who looked to be in his late twenties came running up to us.

  He pulled Isaac into a big hug, smiling widely. “Look how much you’ve grown!” he exclaimed, and I guessed this was his cousin, Thato. Isaac introduced everyone, ending with Autumn. “She’s a podcaster from New York who came to record an episode about us. Can you believe it?”

  “Whuut? New York City?” Thato said playfully, teasing Isaac when he poked him in the side. “You’ve made it to the big time now, cousin.”

  “Shut up.” Isaac pushed him off. “And this is Jimbo. He’s going to film us tonight. I hope that’s okay.”

  “Of course it’s okay. Everyone is gonna be trying to get on camera. They’ll love it.”

  We approached the gathered crowd, and a few people gave us curious glances, especially Jimbo with his camera. I went up on my tiptoes to see what was happening and saw a tall guy get into an old BMW. He slammed the door shut and revved the engine.

  Cal came to stand next to me. “Want to get up on my shoulders? You’ll be able to see better.”

  I cast him some side-eye. “I can see just fine from here.”

  “Your loss.”

  The guy in the car started driving, but instead of going in a straight line he spun the car around in a circle. People cheered him on, the wheels kicking up dust as the car spun faster and faster until steam started coming out of the engine.

  “That doesn’t look entirely safe,” Michaela said.

  “But it does look fun.” James grinned at her.

  “My friend is up next. If you want, I can ask if she’ll let you two ride with her,” Thato offered.

  Michaela shook her head vehemently. “No, thank you.”

  “Oh, come on
. Live a little,” Thato encouraged.

  James’ grin widened. “Yeah, live a little.”

  She glanced up at him, nibbling her lip, hesitant. “I don’t know.”

  “Nandi is the best. She’s never had an accident,” Thato reassured, while Michaela seemed to be having an inner struggle.

  “You should do it,” I said, hoping to bolster her confidence. “It’ll be fun.”

  Michaela glanced at me, then steeled herself as she looked back to Thato and James. “Okay, I’m in.”

  A few minutes later, Thato’s friend Nandi got into her car, while Thato sat in the front passenger seat beside her. James and Michaela climbed in the back. As soon as the car started spinning, Michaela grabbed hold of James’ upper arm. I was pretty sure she kept her eyes closed the entire time, and it reminded me of when I’d ridden the roller coaster.

  I glanced at Cal, remembering how sorry he’d been afterward. His entire focus was on the car as it spun, and I took a second to admire his profile. He really was stunning, especially in the low light. The sky darkened to nighttime, and it cast shadows on his face, highlighting his cheekbones and the strong line of his jaw.

  “You’re staring,” Cal said and I startled then cleared my throat, feeling embarrassed to be caught.

  “Right. Sorry.”

  He cast me a side glance. “You can look. I don’t mind.”

  Conflicted, I returned my attention to the car. When it finally stopped spinning, James climbed out first, followed by Michaela, who stumbled a little on her feet. James caught her just in time.

  “Thanks,” she said as she steadied herself, her cheeks pink.

  They smiled at each other, and there was something intimate about it. It felt like a bit of an intrusion to watch.

  “I think Michaela might not be the only one with a crush,” Cal said from next to me.

  My eyes widened. “Don’t say that. If it’s true, it’s a disaster waiting to happen.”

  He didn’t have time to say more, because a second later a commotion broke out on the other side of the track. It came from nowhere. A bunch of people were yelling at each other, and a ball of panic coiled in my belly. What was going on?