Shattered Dreams

by Shirley Wilkinson

  Avila was staring at him in shock but didn’t resist when he pulled her toward the far room. Especially when he shot her a mischievous grin as he said, “Besides, I am sure this is a far more productive way to show the Lady Dunoire that you don’t care a whit about her opinion.”

  Avila felt like her eyes were about to pop out of her head at the look he gave her. The man was far more perceptive than she had given him credit for. That, or he knew what the girl was like. She didn’t get to ask which it was, as a late announcement was made, and they both turned to see Nathan walk in.

  Zachariah pulled Avila to a stop while they waited for his son to join them. It wasn’t long, as most of the crowd had already gone to the next room. Nathan flashed them both a smile, but she wasn’t warmed by it. Something was missing.

  Still, his voice didn’t sound any different than usual when he greeted them. “I am glad that I made it before the end of the night. I was afraid I would not be able to get away.”

  Zachariah nodded as he said, “The important thing is that you are here.”

  Nathan looked between them before he looked around to note that there were not many people left. He looked chagrined when he said, “It seems as though I am holding up the proceedings. There is no need to keep everyone waiting; I will catch up with you later.”

  Zachariah turned to Avila with a raised brow, and it took her a moment to realize he was verifying that she still agreed to the first dance. She was flustered by the whole situation, but she still managed to say, “I agree. We should go before they send someone to find you.” Something odd passed through Nathan’s eyes as she turned, but she didn’t have time to ask.

  There was quite a bit of murmuring when she and Zachariah walked onto the dance floor, but she tuned it all out as soon as the music started. Thankfully, dance lessons seemed to have been part of the royal upbringing, and she was thrilled to find that her partner was even smoother than his son and nephew—which was saying a lot. At least his smile was not strained, nor was he silent, and he easily managed to keep her mind off all the things bothering her.

  They shared one more dance before he gave her a bow and left her in the hands of a gentleman that had been waiting. Avila accepted graciously but soon regretted that decision. After the second time she tripped over his feet, she began to wonder if he was doing it on purpose. He apologized both times, but there was a glint behind his smile that had her on edge. As soon as the dance was done, she declined the next one and made her way to the sidelines.

  She nearly grimaced when she watched the young man join the group of girls from earlier. They all sneered at her, and it was easy to tell the damage had already been done. When she looked around, more than a handful of people were giving her looks ranging from discreet frowns to outright sneers.

  If she hadn’t also caught the queen’s questioning look and the fact that Zachariah was there on the dais as well, she would have likely walked out. There was no reason to subject herself to the crowd’s rude behavior. It didn’t help that Nathan was nowhere to be found. A friend to talk to would have been excellent at that moment.

  She decided that she was finished with dancing. She wouldn’t leave until she had a chance to say good night to Zachariah, as that would be rude, but she wasn’t going to stay in the ballroom either. Coming back into the ballroom later, when she was sure he was no longer with the king and queen, was always an option. She barely managed to conceal her frown as she made her way through the crowd and back into the other room. At least they had snacks and drinks. It was better company than the people surrounding her.

  37. Confession

  Galdren was in a better mood than he had been in for some time. He refused to admit the cause of it, not even to his mother—not that she didn’t probably know. However, even he could admit it was likely to be short-lived. The situation hadn’t changed, after all. Though Nathan had avoided him and Avila both for the last few weeks, he doubted it would stay that way, if for no other reason than Avila was likely to get fed up and take action.

  At least he could enjoy the reprieve and pretend that his heart had not led him down a disastrous path. He had taken on the responsibility to take care of Avila, which meant that no matter how much he might want something more, friendship was all he could share with her. Anything more would validate every whisper that said he kept her for gratification alone. He refused to allow that.

  He tried to keep those thoughts in mind as he made his way through the ballroom. Although, not all of his cheer was due to things he couldn’t focus on. He was also pleased that his uncle had finally decided to end his isolation, especially since he knew his parents had been trying to convince the man to visit for years.

  Galdren could not hold back his grin when he saw his uncle lead Avila onto the dance floor. She had definitely made an impression, that was for sure. He was glad that her trip had been so successful on more than one front. If only he could figure out what had happened between her and Nathan. She refused to talk about it, but he could tell it bothered her. Despite enjoying more time in her company, he still felt prickles of guilt that it had come at the expense of something she cherished.

  He refused to focus on that for the night. Instead, when his uncle finally joined them, he was the first to extend a hand. Zachariah shook it with a soft smile, but his first words were aimed at the king and queen. “I believe I should thank you both for this. Although, I must admit I am slightly rusty. At least there is excellent company to be had.”

  The queen returned the smile as she answered, “I cannot express how pleased we are to see you here. I am sure it will not take long for you to acclimate. Things are not always this hectic.”

  A look passed between the two of them that nearly erased Zachariah’s smile. However, when he turned toward the crowd, it came back. His voice was light when he spoke to Galdren again. “To be honest, I am shocked. I left the Lady Durant to another gentleman thinking that either you or Nathan would be more than pleased to swoop in and keep her company, and yet here you are, and Nathan is nowhere to be seen. I almost feel guilty. Despite this party being in my honor, she is the one that should be thanked.”

  For a moment, Galdren was at a loss for words. He had no idea how to respond to that without saying something that would be best left unsaid. Thankfully, he didn’t need to, as his mother said in his stead, “Come now, it hasn’t been so long that you do not know how things can be misconstrued. Though, I am shocked that Nathan is not with her. They have been practically inseparable since they first met.”

  Galdren could have gone without the last part of her statement, but she wasn’t wrong. It did make his brow furrow momentarily while he looked around for both Nathan and Avila. He felt a slight twinge of worry when he could see neither of them in the crowd.

  He concentrated on looking for the two of them to the point that he missed the rest of the conversation. He didn’t realize it until his uncle stepped away with a parting remark about rejoining his party. Even after the man was gone, he could not find Avila, though he finally saw Nathan. His cousin and uncle were speaking to each other on the far side of the room. He was forced to let go of his worry when his mother called him over and tried to remind himself that Avila would not have left without saying good night to the duke, so she had to be around somewhere.

  ―

  It was nearly an hour later before Galdren saw Avila again. She had just returned from the refreshment area. More than once, he had thought about sending Randy to go find her, but he curbed the urge. It wouldn’t help anything if he took such action for no reason. He already knew things were less than ideal and saw no reason to cause unnecessary problems.

  Unfortunately, it did not take him long to figure out that something was wrong before she had made it far. He frowned at the look he could see her giving a group of girls, and his worry only increased when he saw that one of them was Lady Dunoire. Between one breath and the next, t
hings seemed to have escalated. He could not hear what was said from where he was standing, but he noticed that Avila had raised her voice. Many of the guests had stopped what they were doing and were already whispering to each other at the unfolding scene.

  Galdren decided that the crowd’s perceived image of what their relationship was could be damned. He immediately turned to Randy and whispered, “Get her out of here. I’ll meet you outside.”

  Randy saluted before he started weaving through the crowd. When Galdren looked back once more, he was grateful to see that his uncle was already by her side, and even more so when it seemed that the man was frowning at the group of girls and not Avila.

  He did not wait to see more. He gave his parents a quick bow before he turned to leave out the side door with Baxter in tow. He was gratified that his mother’s response was a worried look, and his father only gave him a nod as he passed.

  A few minutes later, Randy came around the corner with several people behind him. Galdren had expected Avila and her guard, but he was surprised to see his uncle as well.

  Avila looked like she was ready to do bodily harm to someone, and his uncle’s expression wasn’t much better. He didn’t get a chance to ask before the older man said, “I am glad that I was close enough to hear that conversation. Despite what rumors may come of this, Lady Durant was more than justified. Given what I heard, had they been speaking to me, there would have been far more drastic repercussions. I do hope that going forward it is made known she is not to be harassed as she was tonight, regardless of what gossip may float around.”

  Galdren was shocked at how angry his uncle sounded. He had always been known for his calm, tempered demeanor. Unfortunately, that made his worry all the stronger. He managed to give the duke a polite bow as he responded, “Of course, I will do whatever is necessary to prevent further problems.”

  Zachariah ran his hand down his face before he sighed. “I will leave her in your care. It would be best if I return to handle the rest of this fiasco.”

  Avila had been standing to the side and silently fuming. However, when Zachariah said he was returning, she turned to him. “I apologize. This was supposed to be for you, and I have ruined it. I hope that I can make it up to you.”

  The duke shook his head as he answered, “This is not your fault. Please do not blame yourself. Though, I do suggest that you perhaps find a better way to deal with things like this going forward. I know how difficult things can get if you do not watch your every move.”

  Avila’s face flushed, and she lowered her eyes to the ground as she responded, “I will heed your advice.”

  Both men gave her another concerned glance before the older of the two sighed and turned back to the ballroom. Once he was gone, Galdren gave the guards a look that had them dropping back a short distance while he tucked her hand into the crook of his arm and started leading her down one of the side halls.

  Although they were both silent at first, it did not take him long to notice that she was less than sober. She still had not looked at him, but her expression kept alternating between furious and mortified. He also noted that she stumbled a couple of times. Had she not been holding his arm, she might have fallen the second time. He knew she was not the type to typically drink more than a glass of wine at a time, which made this behavior worrisome.

  He decided it would be best to walk back to the family wing via the less-used hallways. When they were nearly to the family wing and were relatively assured of their privacy, he finally asked, “Avila, can you tell me what happened? You can’t expect me to believe it was nothing.”

  He was shocked when she finally looked up at him, and rage was burning in her eyes. It showed in her voice too. “I know we cannot control what people think, but if that sad excuse for a petty cow thinks she can get away with calling me a whore to my face and disrespecting every person from Talamh and not deal with the repercussions, she has another thing coming. Goddess, she is such a brainless twit. I know it stems from unfounded jealousy, but I am so done with their insipid stupidity.”

  Galdren was taken aback by how furious she was. He had never seen her so angry. Though, if that was indeed what had happened, then he didn’t blame her. Before he could respond, Randy said from just behind them, “Sir, perhaps it would be best to continue your discussion inside.”

  He looked back at his most trusted guard and nodded. The man was correct. It wouldn’t do to have someone come by and hear any of this. He could tell that Avila was not done, but she snapped her jaw shut and looked away when their eyes met. He repressed a sigh as he led her to her room. He had a feeling the night was not going to end as pleasantly as it had started.

  Once the door was closed behind them, Avila dropped his arm and started to storm toward her bedroom. He called out before she could reach it, “Please, wait. I understand that you are angry, but I cannot help if you don’t explain.”

  Her eyes flashed when she spun around to face him. “Help? Like you have each time before? You already know what the problem is. I am nothing more than a second-class citizen, no matter what you say. The fact that you own me only makes it that much worse.”

  Galdren was aware enough to know she wasn’t angry at him, but it still felt as though she had slapped him. He took a step closer, but she held up a hand to stop him. “Don’t. I know it isn’t you. It isn’t your family either, but tonight was worse than it ever was when I was younger. You have no idea what it is like to have to deal with people who think you are less than they are just because you look different.”

  He ignored her glare and pulled her into a hug. She stiffened at first but relaxed against him when he said, “You are correct. I can’t relate, but that doesn’t mean I won’t help.”

  She closed her eyes as she rested her forehead against his chest. Her voice was broken when she finally spoke again. “Galdren, I learned how to handle it years ago, but I could have used a friend tonight. Someone that was able to stand by me and not run when things got a little uncomfortable.”

  Galdren had to close his eyes against the pain her words caused. He hadn’t been there for her through any of the events she had been to at the castle. He knew there had been valid reasons for it, but hearing her now, he wished he could go back and change that. It didn’t seem as though his public distance had served any purpose but to make things harder for her.

  He wasn’t given a chance to say that before she pulled away. She was no longer yelling, but he could now see more of her hurt behind the anger. She took a few steps away before she spoke again. “I don’t know what either of you are thinking, honestly. You are both supposed to be my friends, and yet you’ve both done the same thing. How can you think it is acceptable to kiss me and then ignore me? I know I was the one that stopped him, but it was because I wanted to save our friendship. How am I supposed to take this?”

  Galdren couldn’t have moved at that point if he needed to. She had to be talking about Nathan. That was the only thing that made sense. Nathan had kissed her. That was why they weren’t speaking. He knew he had no right to the burning rage building within him, but all he could picture was his cousin kissing Avila, and it made him sick. He barely even registered that she had said she stopped him.

  Before he could get himself together enough to think of a response, she continued, “And don’t even get me started on you. I know we said we would put this behind us, but do you have any idea how much it hurt that you kissed me and then acted as though I had done something wrong? Goddess only knows that I was already falling in love with you then. Having you reject me so thoroughly after that—I can’t even begin to describe it. I have had about enough of all of this.”

  Galdren’s brain suddenly felt as though it had short-circuited. Surely he had misheard. He was so busy trying to gather his wits that he didn’t even hear as she continued to rant.

  It was several moments before he could focus on her again. She was pacing, but he
cut her off mid-sentence by grabbing her by her upper arms. She frowned and looked like she was about to start ranting again, so he said the first thing that came to mind. “Say that again.”

  Her frown deepened. At least she didn’t try to pull away as she said, “Which part? Where I said that you are thoughtless or—”

  He cut her off with a shake of his head. “No. Before that.”

  She gave him a confused look, but he could tell the instant she realized what he meant, as her eyes went wide and she tried to pull away. He refused to release her, but her voice was nearly frantic when she said, “No. Oh goddess, please forget I said anything. I know you have already made yourself clear, and I don’t want to lose your friendship too.”

  Despite the desperate look she was giving him, he refused to move. He couldn’t. It took several heartbeats before his voice would work. “Please. I need you to say it. I want to make sure I didn’t dream it.”

  His words caused her eyes to widen for a moment, but not for long. She shook her head, but when his steady gaze did not waver, he felt her slump in defeat. Her voice was barely more than a whisper when she said, “I love you, Galdren. I have cared about you for some time, but I didn’t realize how much until we moved here.”

  Galdren felt as though he had run into a wall. His breath caught, and his brain refused to work. He felt simultaneously light-headed and weak-kneed. It wasn’t until Avila tried to pull away once more that he came to his senses. One of his hands went to cup her cheek and turn her head up so he could look into her eyes. He saw pain and confusion, but when he smiled, he also saw hope.

  He was so giddy he almost laughed. Instead, his thumb brushed across her cheekbone softly as he said, “I don’t know where to begin. Though, I need to ask if you are sure. The idea of it—I can barely express how happy it makes me, but I do not want you to feel obligated. I care too much to think to force you.”