The Words Shimmer

by Jenn Matthews

  She was relieved when Ruby stood, swinging her arms and pushing up her shoulders, the widest and most sparkly expression on her face. Mel returned the smile and followed Ruby out of the tank and into another room.

  A few rooms later, they found one with a central tank containing piranha. Mel approached it with caution and sent Ruby a piercing look when she laughed at her.

  “They’re harmless, really. Unless you’re dead or actively bleeding.”

  “Are they scavengers, then?” Mel asked, peering into the large tank at the dangerous-looking fish staring back at her.

  “Pretty much. That film, it wasn’t true to life.”

  “They look lazy.” The fish swam around with barely a hint of motivation.

  The other tanks in the room were full of equally lazy but exceptionally beautiful creatures, including bright red starfish, blue crustaceans, and delicate seahorses, one of which Mel was convinced had babies in its belly.

  “I do wish my ex had carried at least one of the girls, just so it was fair.”

  Mel chuckled and considered Ruby, with her shorter stature, and hips currently hugged by a pair of dark blue jeans. “Were you huge with either of them?”

  “Jasmine. Ugh.” Ruby wiped her hands down her face before rolling her eyes. “I was a whale. Absolutely humungous.”

  Mel studied her before forcing her gaze from Ruby’s body to rest on the floor by her feet. “I can imagine you pregnant.”

  “Oh great, thanks for that.”

  “No,” Mel said immediately, holding out a hand. “No. That’s not what I meant I just…” She looked around at anything but the woman giving her such a flustered stare. “I think it’s beautiful.”

  “Really?”

  When Mel looked back up at her, Ruby was shooting her an intrigued look. “Don’t ask me why,” Mel laughed, her hand to her cheek. “I just think it’s… terribly marvellous.”

  Ruby pressed her lips together and then grinned at her. “Where on earth were you when I was pregnant, hmm? To boost my self-image.”

  “Probably working as a teaching assistant somewhere.”

  “Ah,” Ruby said, her lips parting and her teeth showing. “I knew you had experience.”

  It was Mel’s turn to blush. “Only a year or two. I didn’t much like having to book holidays when the kids were off.”

  “Makes sense. Did you enjoy the work though?”

  “Very much.” Mel’s gaze fell on another cluster of stools under a medium-sized tank full of seahorses. She moved to it and sat, patting the stool next to her. Ruby joined her. From that location, they could see most of the room and take in all the bright colours and flickering lights.

  “Shame you gave it up; I bet you were wonderful at it.”

  “Well,” Mel said, scissoring her fingers together and wishing she could do the same with Ruby, “I wanted to work in healthcare.”

  “Have you always been a paramedic?”

  “I’ve only been qualified seven years. I was an ECA before that.”

  “An emergency care assistant? You must have seen some awful things in both roles.” Ruby’s voice was gentle, and her thigh was warm against Mel’s. Mel wanted to put her arm around her, but Ruby’s body language and subtle behaviour so far during their visit to the aquarium had indicated she didn’t want that. The feeling rose up briefly in Mel’s body—something between affection and lust—but she pushed it away.

  “Some wonderful things too. New babies tend to make an appearance whenever I’m on shift, and I’ve seen a few heroic saves by members of the public. A teenager once dived into the river after his nan and saved her life when she fell from the bike path.”

  “Oh blimey. Were they both okay?”

  “After we got them warmed up, yes. She had a gash on her face from something in the river, but otherwise, cold, wet, and relieved.”

  “Amazing.” Ruby looked up at Mel through shuttered eyes, and Mel noticed for the first time how dark and long her eyelashes were. “Have you ever done anything like that?”

  “Not… not really.”

  “So you’re not gung-ho and macho?” Ruby seemed almost disappointed.

  Mel lifted an eyebrow in suspicion. “I thought you didn’t like that?” Is she flirting with me?

  “Not usually. But the thought of you—”

  A child squealed as he entered the room they were occupying, and his mother followed, with an equally noisy toddler in a pushchair.

  Mel snorted and stood quickly, and Ruby seemed amused as well. They allowed the little family to enjoy the room and headed towards the café, which was, thankfully, deserted.

  The day was rainy and dismal, and the usual influx of children wanting ice creams was missing; they were probably cuddled up in their car seats, or already at home having a nap in their warm beds. Mel took the seat opposite Ruby as she laid the tray on the table between them, pushing a china cup on a saucer and a pot of tea towards her.

  Mel took a sip from her coffee before resting her elbows on the table and considering the woman across from her. “So, you’ve always been a nurse?”

  “Yes, since I was twenty-two. Obviously with short hiatuses to have and look after the brats at home.”

  “Were your parents in healthcare?”

  “No, my parents were both teachers. Dad taught maths, and Mum taught art.”

  “Siblings?”

  “I have a sister, but we don’t really speak. She lives up in Huddersfield near my mother.”

  “Dad?”

  “Died when I was thirty-five. Bowel cancer.”

  “Sorry.” Mel slid her hand across the table but stopped just short of touching Ruby’s fingers.

  “That’s okay. He went quickly and with little effort really. He had a good care package. I made sure of that.”

  “Does your mum still work?”

  “No, she’s retired. Just after Dad died.” Ruby poured and stirred her tea. The tinkling of her spoon against the china sounded comforting. “How’s work?”

  “Yeah. Okay.” Sadness trickled into her at the memory of a patient from the previous day. “We attended a woman in the final stages of cancer yesterday.”

  “Oh.” Ruby’s voice was gentle, and it made Mel look up.

  “She had no one. All her kids were overseas; husband had died a few years ago. She was coping okay, with carers in and that, but she still looked so lonely in that little flat.”

  “Wouldn’t she have been better in a care home?”

  Mel shrugged, tears starting to burn her eyes. “She had an infection but she was doing okay. Just dying.”

  “That must’ve been very sad to see.”

  Ruby covered her hand and her soft brown gaze held Mel’s gently. Mel found sympathy, and affection, but no pity. She was glad of that. She didn’t need pity from anyone, let alone Ruby.

  As quickly as she’d touched her, Ruby pulled away. Mel felt the loss of the warmth of her skin like an icy wind. The hairs on the back of her hand stood up, despite the heat from her coffee mug. She pressed her lips together and looked down into its depths again.

  “Antibiotics for the infection?” Ruby asked.

  “Yes. Had to get an out-of-hours appointment with a GP. We don’t prescribe antibiotics as paramedics. She should be feeling better soon.”

  “Good. It’s a shame you don’t get to follow-up on patients, isn’t it? And you’re right: if someone doesn’t need a care home… Not all of them are lovely.”

  “I know,” Mel replied, trying to rid herself of sadness. “The number of homes I’ve been to with my job—”

  “Oh, of course you would have.”

  “I’ve been in some dives, I’ll tell you. Luckily the one Dad’s in is lovely. They have an activity co-ordinator that organises things for them to do every day. Dad’s in charge of musical entertainm
ent.”

  “Does he have a preference for the type of music he plays?” Ruby asked.

  Mel’s smile grew. “This week he’s not felt up to playing much. But last week he was having a crack at some music-hall songs.”

  “Knees Up Mother Brown?” Ruby asked, a chuckle in her voice.

  “Things like that.”

  “Fabulous. I’d love to hear him play.”

  Visions of Mel arriving to visit her dad with Ruby in tow, of introducing them as friends, of George eyeing them with that knowing look, swam in front of her like the ray they had watched earlier. He would know Mel was attracted to Ruby. She stared hard into her coffee and swirled it around with her spoon. A few bubbles formed and then popped on the surface.

  When she looked up again, Ruby was looking at her wristwatch. “It’s nearly four-thirty. We should head off if we’re going to miss the rush-hour traffic.”

  Chapter 14

  At the second gardening group, Ruby taught the children how to sow seeds and plant baby potatoes and onion sets.

  “This is the best, I think!” Frank held up a potato the size of a tennis ball. His gaze then fell to another, further away. “Oh! No!” His second choice was bigger.

  “Okay.” Ruby pointed into the trench they had created. “Pop it in then, and tuck it in like a baby.”

  Frank giggled and, after searching the pile just to check there wasn’t a better one, placed the potato into the hole. The way he gently smoothed the soil over the top made Ruby want to hug him. His handwriting wasn’t the best, but the tag was readable when he slid it into the ground next to his potato.

  On the other side of the allotment, Becca was dusting her onion with her eyebrows furrowed. When it was void of all muck, and under Mel’s watchful eye, she screwed it into the bed and tucked it in as well.

  Occasional giggling and soft teasing filled the garden. Potato and Onion groups finished planting their vegetables and went to sit on the benches for drinks and snacks. Mrs Denzie insisted they all use a hand wipes and then inspected each small pair of hands for any sign of dirt. The look Mrs Denzie shot Ruby while she was doing this was disgusted, as if Ruby should have insisted they keep their hands clean while digging around in a bed of dirt.

  Seeds were sown by Tomato and Pepper groups inside the greenhouse, and the kids went inside in small groups to do so. Michael rubbed his hands together. “I’m going to sow one pot of Sungold, and one pot of Gardener’s Delight.”

  “You can do that if you like.” Ruby patted his shoulder, then regretted it as she glanced out of the greenhouse, towards where Mrs Denzie was sitting.

  Compost floated onto the floor from Michael’s hands.

  Mrs Denzie poked her head in just as Mel was sliding past Ruby towards Michael. Her gaze lingered on the inch of space between them, and then on Mel’s hand where it rested on Ruby’s arm. “We’ve spoken about this.”

  Ruby shrank away from Mel’s hand.

  “There really isn’t that much room in here, Mrs Denzie,” Mel said lightly. “I can’t keep away from Ruby if I need to help someone, can I?”

  Mrs Denzie’s mouth twisted, and her nostrils flared. “Such a confined space. Could you not have ordered a larger greenhouse?”

  “You think we bought this especially for the group?” Mel snorted.

  “Did you not?”

  “God no. It’s been here… How long, Ruby?”

  “I’ve been here a few years, and it was already here then.” Ruby’s cheeks burned, and she tried to focus on Chelsea and the way she was tenderly smoothing the compost over her own seeds.

  “A bigger greenhouse would have been more suitable.”

  “Why does Mel need to keep away from Ruby?” Michael asked. “Does she have a cold?”

  Mel chuckled.

  “No.” Mrs Denzie folded her arms. “We’ve had a discussion about it, and it’s not for your ears.”

  Michael appeared affronted as he went back to his tomatoes. “She should be at home with a hot totty if she’s got a cold.” He looked brighter. “That’s what my gran says.”

  Ruby stifled a snigger at his incorrect pronunciation of “toddy” while Mrs Denzie continued to stand just outside the door. It felt as if her gaze blazed through the glass and followed their every move.

  “Let me help you,” Chelsea said to a boy called Charlie. “Do you need help?”

  Charlie nodded.

  “Okay. Ruby said you have to make a little hole.” She took his hand and gently poked his finger into his pot. “And then you put the seed in. Go on, you can do it.”

  Warmth flooded through Ruby as she watched Chelsea continue to help a couple more of the shyer children. Chelsea passed the small watering can around and grinned encouragingly when one of the kids watered their pot without the seed floating to the top.

  As uncomfortable and unsure as Ruby had felt at the beginning of last week’s group, this week she was feeling a lot more confident. Her heart wasn’t racing, and her palms were dry. She could concentrate on remembering what Mel had already taught her, and on sharing that knowledge with the group of young minds. Except she couldn’t. Instead, she had to focus on making sure her behaviour wasn’t inappropriate for the children. She was constantly aware that her every movement, every word was being scrutinised by Mrs Denzie. And that she—they—were being judged as unfit to speak to the impressionable kids.

  Every time she looked at Mel, she felt simultaneously supported and worried. The twisting in her gut remained, amplified by the occasional concerned look from Mel every time Ruby moved out of her touch or personal space.

  And every critical look Mrs Denzie threw their way felt like it left a mark on Ruby’s skin; a tattoo in rainbow colours for the world to see.

  Because of the amount of extra pots Chelsea had been poking in order to help her classmates to sow their seeds, her hands were caked in compost. Mrs Denzie’s critical gaze slid over her, taking in the added soil down her front. “Children with dirty hands don’t have biscuits.”

  Chelsea inspected her fingers with dismay, then shuffled over to the outside tap to re-wash them. An air of desperation surrounded her, and the frustrated way she was scrubbing at her hands made water splash all around her wellies.

  When she came back to the benches, Mrs Denzie lifted an eyebrow. Her expression clearly stated she wasn’t quite satisfied, but she nodded and didn’t argue when Chelsea sat with a biscuit and some squash, swinging her legs and chatting with her friends.

  After the group had drunk all the squash and finished off the biscuits, they left. Ruby rinsed her hands under the outside tap and half-dried them on the sodden tea towel the kids had used. She rubbed the back of her neck with chilly fingers, stepping away when Mel moved behind her to use the washing facilities.

  “They’re great, aren’t they?” Mel said, her gaze intent on her own hands.

  “They are. I know I said I didn’t like kids, but they’re growing on me.”

  A small chuckle from Mel before she turned the tap off and took the tea towel from Ruby. “Oh,” she said, suddenly remembering something. “I’ll be right back.” Mel raced off, towards the car park, and Ruby stood dumbly staring at the tea towel she’d just been thrown.

  A good few minutes later, Ruby was wondering whether Mel would be returning. She glanced at her watch, then huffed, looking around her. The kids had left the garden tidy, for which she was grateful.

  Mel did return, with a long-potted plant under one arm and some pieces of wood in the other hand. As she set the plant onto the ground, Ruby realised the wood was a folded-down trellis, and that there was a hammer and a packet of nails sticking out of Mel’s back pocket. “You wanted a clematis?” Mel held her hand towards the plant invitingly.

  Ruby stooped down and lifted the plant label, so she could read. “Wildfire?” The picture on the label was of a flower with pur
ple and red petals.

  Her lips pulling upwards, Mel stooped down close to her and nodded. “I figured it was fitting. You’re a bit feisty, so…” She shrugged, pink blossoming on her cheeks.

  Ruby carefully fingered the tiny leaves on the plant. Small curly tendrils were already winding their way up the small supports sticking out of the pot.

  “You like it?” Mel rubbed her chin and cast Ruby an unsure glance.

  “I do, thank you.”

  “Thought it was a bit different from the usual purple ones you can get.”

  “And, apparently, I’m a wildfire.” Ruby’s lips were pursed, but Mel seemed to understand that she was pleased.

  “You are.” Mel stood and waggled the trellis so that it unfolded into a criss-crossed wall of about four feet long. “I’m okay to nail this onto the shed?”

  Ruby nodded.

  Mel produced two short pieces of wood. “We have to make sure the trellis is a couple of centimetres away from the shed wall, otherwise the vines won’t be able to creep up it.”

  “Oh. Okay.”

  “Could you give me a hand?”

  They worked together, Ruby holding the pieces of wood in place while Mel hammered nails to secure them to the wooden wall. They’d chosen the sunniest side, Ruby noticed, and she decided that the fact that she had noticed meant she was learning. Gardening is easier than I thought. It’s all logic.

  They attached the trellis into place with wooden pieces at each end. Mel carried the clematis plant into the greenhouse and placed it into the blue ceramic pot Ruby had found while they were cleaning the area. Mel held the plant still in the middle of the pot, and Ruby gathered handfuls of compost to tuck around it.

  The activity meant they had to be close to each other, and Ruby found her face right next to Mel’s on more than one occasion. As well as the sweet smell of the compost, wafts of Mel’s perfume washed over her too. The kids are gone. It doesn’t matter if we’re close now. Green eyes watched her carefully as their gazes locked for a breath. Ruby’s hands were full of compost, and she nearly dropped it. “Sorry.”