Desensitizer

by Kaero Davis

  A lady like me would never do,

  Such things this animal wanted to,

  True terror like I never knew,

  The state I was fated to be subjected through,

  I was broken, bruised, bleeding,

  Couldn’t sate all he was needing,

  He raped and gave me beatings,

  ’til it hurt less to stop breathing,

  The pain was incomparable,

  Irreparable, unbearable,

  To die would be a miracle,

  Oh please god please, be merciful,

  I was then left to die,

  For a considerable amount of time,

  I couldn’t move but just lie,

  Whimpering distraught cries,

  No one came,

  I caved under the pain,

  My blood had slowly drained,

  Feeling dirty, filthy and stained,

  And now I can never leave this place,

  My body and soul been disgraced,

  Such terror to gaze upon my face,

  Imprinted to this earth and recurring pace,

  Will no one ever find me?

  Will I be lost and never buried?

  Will I ever be set free?

  Of this pain and dreadful memory?

  Exit Scenario

  The violent abuse that Subbau subjected the poor undeserving Ka, turned to true tragedy. He had raped and beat her real bad one night, and she felt the most fear and torment she had ever felt yet.

  Beaten and weakened terribly so that she finally died four long days of pain after this fatal final encounter. He never realized but never returned to her final resting place. He intended this time to leave her to die, and that she did.

  Her ghost however, does never leave. Each night she is cursed to roam the River stead, the place where her body lay hidden well, beneath the thick shrubbery of the gardens. And each night she mourns her soft, sad tune.

  Her tale of betrayal and of falling victim to such horrendous atrocities befalling her. Will she ever be found? Will she ever be blessed – and lain to proper rest?

  Enter Scenario

  “I lay under the stars at night, a drifter – homeless, taken refuge hidden from sight and a large gnarly tree just a short walk from a river. I sleep late through the day for at night I am disturbed from a sleep by a sad woman’s voice. She sings. And I can never quite catch each mournful word as I perceive there’s some distance between us, yet I try to search her out. On occasion her song is quite clear so I have a reason to believe she is quite close by and then there are times still she is distant. I have seen a bright blue glow from time to time through the trees – but again some distance away that renders the cause indefinable. But it’s when I can see the glow that I hear her sad tune. I am intoxicated most of the time, I like to drink, and most of the time when I hear or see this disturbance – I just surmise its some group of kids close by who might know I’m here and are probably just playing pranks. Ah, teenagers just need shit to do – they get bored. I do get curious however and roam this bush searching for evidence of other people squatting or camping, proof that I might not be alone but have company, though I never once find who it is causing the sad woman’s song or the blue glowing light. I always feel I’m mighty close to discovering the cause but as I near; the song and the glow fades but then I wander back to my preferred little encampment spot not far from the river. I go back to minding my own business and merrily drink more booze ’til I pass out. I’ve spent a great deal of time alone and to pass the time I entertain myself by citing verses of poems and limericks I’d written myself. I would later stumble on the verge of a breakthrough – something real, authentic and it was only after the following night’s events that I was inspired to write this testament to the very thing I’ve been just barely glimpsing a sight of. A sickening, saddening visual of the foulest play – If ever there was any…” – Crae.

  Dead at the RiverStead pt.2

  I hear you mourn a soft, sad tune,

  Never far from where I rest my head,

  But they never found you,

  Dead at the River Stead,

  Your ghastly glow shimmer’s the brightest of blues,

  And I feel naught but dread,

  Though no one has ever came to find you,

  Dead at the River Stead,

  Just how deep is your gloom?

  That your tears must always shed,

  Why has nobody ever found you?

  Dead at the River Stead,

  The gravest of thoughts my mind does brew,

  Is of you having already bled

  But still no one has been out to find you,

  Dead at the River Stead,

  If I don’t help I may be doomed,

  A fork in the road, a heart of lead,

  Must I be the one to find you?

  Dead at the River Stead,

  As I assumed, I found your tomb,

  And all my courage fled,

  Why was I the one who found you?

  Dead at the River Stead,

  Exit Scenario

  “It had put me right into a terrible state of shock. My heart sank, this poor beautiful woman – I’d just stumbled across, true beauty to behold – was in shreds. Her clothes were torn and dirty with stains. She looked sad and as if she was in terrible pain in her fatal final moments. What monster would do this to such an undeserving lady of such beauty? I have no phone – no quick method of communication to the outside world. What do I do? Do I leave her here for somebody else to find? And how long will she be here before that happens? I decided to gently lift her into my arms – she was almost no weight at all – and I left this place carrying her all the way out toward the highway. It wasn’t fair for me to just leave her there – it wouldn’t be right, no. This beautiful young woman must’ve been of the apparition I had previously been seeing. She had such a thrillingly enchanting song, – what I could make out of it – but her voice was the sweetest I’d ever heard. I carried her out of the bush and to the highway and a few cars had passed before anyone had pulled over to assist me, they stopped and did a U-turn, came back toward us, did another and pulled up at my side.

  “What in the good grace of God happened here?” asked one of the young couple riding inside the vehicle. “I-I found her like this – as I was camping out there,” I replied, “Quick jump in and we’ll get you both to the hospital right away.” the young man said as he’d jumped out and opened the back door for me. I slid the body of the beautiful dead young woman in my arms onto the back seat and climbed in after her. And we all sped off up the highway.” – Crae.

  Enter Scenario

  “I’m quite proud and pleased to say I’ve found the love of my life the girl of my dreams, my twin flame. My diamond, I call her – My goddess; for she’s as spectacular, divine, extravagant and as glorious as a goddess should be. By far the most beautiful woman I have ever met, inside out – all the way through. I would give my life for her a thousand times. She’s won my heart, my love, my faith and gives me drive, excitement, fulfilment, and the satisfaction I’ve only ever dreamed of achieving, the kind of any man would desire. She lights me up inside and is the highlight of my every day. She pleases me to no end and I am truly grateful to the universe for granting me the glorious gift of her affection. I will protect her with every ounce of my spiritual being and guard her from the evils I know all too well of in the world, the kinds of evils I’ve known through my past. I wish to bathe her with never-ending happiness and ecstasy for the rest of all our days. And do everything in my power to make those days count. Give her the best that I can of myself and never fail once. She brightens the gloom, her beauty – immaculate and I thank her for it, even though it’s her nature and she can’t help it being the person that she is, I am thankful nonetheless. She is divine, my Diamond Goddess.” – Sol
t.

  Diamond Goddess Divine

  A Goddess of Diamond hard skin

  With crystalline colours glistening,

  The most glorious sight I’ve ever seen,

  My defences cave and crumble in,

  I’m mesmerized beyond all I’ve ever felt,

  I’m magnetized deeply under your spell,

  I’m dazed and can hear wedding bells,

  You seem to make me melt to a gooey gel,

  I have to have you – I need you close,

  You smell as sweet as the most beautiful rose,

  My blissful excitement erratically grows,

  I need to be the one upon which your heart’s bestowed,

  You seduce me with the slightest glance,

  Please, my goddess, allow me the chance,

  I really must beg you for a dance,

  And I’ll think myself lucky should you advance,

  I’m completely overwhelmed by your sight,

  Please say you’ll be with me each night,

  I would do anything and with all my might,

  If it would mean I’d have you to excite,

  My dearest Diamond Goddess divine,

  With beautiful glistening colours crystalline,

  Please allow our embrace to entwine,

  For you’re consistently on my mind,

  I really must have you – I need you close,

  You smell far sweeter than the most beautiful rose,

  My blissful excitement does continue to grow,

  I need to be the one upon which your heart is bestowed,

  You’ve seduced me by the slightest glance,

  Please, my Goddess, allow me the chance,

  To have you entranced by an exotic dance,

  And I’ll think myself lucky should you advance…

  Exit Scenario

  “I am magnetized, mesmerized. And for the intensity of love of hers that I’ve had the pleasure to be part of, I’ve only ever wanted to return it with nothing but the best I can give to her at all times. Her loving white energy fills me up inside and feels phenomenal. Nothing like I’ve ever previously experienced before. This is real, and I believe that there really is such a divinity about my Diamond. My own precious, special Diamond, she gives me the drive and ambition to thrive for more. And I deeply – solely want to make the time we spend together worth the while. Our love is passionate and intense, she of such beauty to mesmerize me, amaze me, intrigue me. And I never want to waste one second with her – and not one second is…” – Solt.

  Enter Scenario

  “Well, I’m arse-up in love with this girl. I am just so mesmerized that I crave to be around her at all times. I feel lost when It’s not too long that we’re apart, and I can feel desperately heart-sick for her.

  She never strays from my mind. I almost can’t bear to have her out of my sight. Ever. I am heavily magnetized to her in every way, she’s the first to have ever made me feel as excited to be around her all the time. It sounds obsessive but;

  I feel strange whenever we are apart – like a gigantic piece of me has gone missing, and I am desperate to get it back no matter what hefty cost. Wild thoughts enter and pass through my mind. I stand, and then I begin to pace about restlessly, and I am soon to be distracted of my work.

  I wonder what it is that she’s up to, and wonder if she’s been thinking about me, and wonder even further if she feels the bizarre loss that I do – no wait, what am I talking about – there’s no loss, she’s just busy elsewhere, it’s not like she’s left you for good man – no, it’s ok, it’s fine – she loves me.

  I haven’t done anything wrong. Shit, if I obsess any further I might push her away – so no, stop, breathe mate. Slow down, it’s all good. There, panic averted, crisis over. It’s just that whenever we part ways of each other – whenever we divide, I can never help but feel anxious.

  Anxious for her to return and so I can have her back in my embrace again. But I SHOULD be careful not to smother her too much and make it tire on her. (Just play it cool man.) [yeah, She’s never had anybody like you before either.] She’s not going to ditch you and just ‘Up and Go.’

  (She loves you dude) – (snap the fuck out of it. And by the way – since when have you become so co-dependent?) [I should bitch-slap the hell out of you boy!]

  (*SMACK*) ‘OW!’ yeah, you’re damn right – and I’ve got another for you if you don’t snap out of it. Okay, okay, I’m good, I’m good – it’s cool… (*takes a deep breath in and then exhales*) ‘cool, I’m cool…” – Soag V. Tooki.

  Divisive Anxiety

  I miss you before you leave,

  I could almost grieve,

  I find it hard to believe,

  My heart does not retrieve,

  Oh how I ache for your return,

  My desire greatly yearns,

  This flame eternally burns,

  Sincere but never stern,

  Though I’m excited when we meet,

  No other could ever compete,

  You make me complete,

  My heart will not retreat,

  I forever want to hold you tight,

  Every day, every night,

  To gaze upon your glorious sight,

  My divine Diamond delight,

  I miss you before you leave,

  I could almost grieve,

  I find it hard to believe,

  My heart does not retrieve,

  Oh how I ache for your return,

  My desire greatly yearns,

  This flame eternally burns,

  Sincere but never stern,

  Though I’m excited when we meet,

  No other could ever compete,

  You make me complete,

  My heart will not retreat,

  Exit Scenario

  (Chukraveez enters through the side door of the house and into the kitchen. She places her bag down and lets the dog run free – excited to be back home again.)

  Chukraveez: “Hi baby-cakes, I’m home now, where are ya?”

  Soag: “I’m here my beautiful Diamond – just at the desk doing some writing.”

  Chukraveez: “Could I maybe pinch a kiss off of you honey-bun?”

  Soag: “You can have as many as you wish my wild-warrior-wonder-woman!”

  (And I leapt from my seat to rush a kiss over to her immediately)

  Soag: “How was your day beautiful?”

  Chukraveez: “it was great, I feel like I actually got a fair bit done today, and I was missing you beautiful,”

  Soag: “oh YOU’RE beautiful honey, naww – I missed you too, I miss you all the time that we’re apart for,”

  Chukraveez: “I love you sweetie, how was your day?”

  Soag: “Well, first – I love you too – and second, I likewise, felt that I’d made a considerable amount of progress – check all this out..”

  (And Soag pointed to the countless leaves of paper spread all about over his work desk, displaying all the rough and untidy scrawling’s of his hasty handwriting.)

  Chukraveez: “WOW, OH MY GOD! Soaggie! You’ve done heaps – look at all this, you’re amazing!”

  Soag: “Thanks babe, but really YOU’RE amazing, you bring out the best in me and always inspire me to really thrive at what I do. You’re incredible honey so thanks to you,”

  Chukraveez: “We’re both amazing Soaggie, and I’m proud to be your girl – I wouldn’t dream of being anywhere else but here with you…”

  (And with that Soag grinned and said the very same back to her, and they each retrieved a beer from the refrigerator - having felt they had earnt it and went and put their feet up and mellow out.)

  Enter Scenario

  “If only there was a way you could say what you were thinking to a girl without either freaking t
hem out or disgusting them in a manner that does no favours. I suppose if you’re smart – you might pick an appropriate time with an appropriate method. It’s almost always the luck of the draw – you’ll never know unless you just do but hey – some women might seriously go for that over-confident spontaneous spark of insanity, but that’s a whole new mindset you’ll have to muster consistently. Especially if going to play that card. One little slip in the wrong direction and you’ll end up on your arse. And if you’re going to play up – I wouldn’t suggest anywhere local unless you’re capable of sustaining whatever reputation might follow, otherwise, good-luck.

  I much prefer employing a much smoother tactic – a suave and sophisticated approach – though it may not always work, timing and place placated – it all takes an amount of practice and exercise. You have to be prepared for a loss but if you do – shit, try again on someone else somewhere else. And learn, sharpen and educate your mind that little more after each set-back. Confidence is a big thing, sometimes you really can’t fake it and you must have it for real, fake it if you like just know you’ll have to keep that appearance up until you have it for real. It’s always an advantage having that confidence. Some women love it – and others may not, you’ve just got to be able to pick them well to know – but if you see eye-candy and you want it, advance if you’re confident enough to.” – Zoukaa.

  Eye-Candy

  Oh wow, you’ve got a sexy bum,

  I can’t help perving – I’m stunned,

  And I don’t think I can hold my tongue –

  You just look so yum!