Letting You Go

by Jordan Marie

  CHAPTER FIFTY EIGHT

  GAVIN

  “Hello.”

  “Luna,” I breathe. “Thank God.”

  “Gavin?”

  “Are you okay, Moonbeam?” I ask, breathing into the phone.

  I lean my head against the wall, close my eyes and try to picture her. I’ve been worried since the moment they brought me in. All I could see was the way she crumbled before my eyes and I was helpless, because I couldn’t get to her and comfort her.

  “Gavin,” she breathes. “They let you go? Oh God, I was so worried, and my dad showed up. He wouldn’t let me follow you and—”

  “They didn’t let me go, Luna. I’m still here.”

  “Then how are you—”

  “They gave me one phone call, I called the only person that matters.”

  “Gavin, no. You need to call your Dad. You need him to—”

  “He’s not my Dad, Moonbeam. He’s nothing to me,” I tell her. What I’m not telling her is that I really had no one here in Stone Lake to call. As for dear old dad. He’s been here, helping them create a case against me. He even did it sober. I’m not sure I’ve seen him sober in years, but he was when they escorted him by me to take his statement.

  He even did it smiling.

  “We have to find someone to help you,” she whispers so quietly into the phone that it’s hard to make out what she’s saying.

  “I’m not important, Moonbeam. I just need to make sure you’re okay.”

  “Jules is dead, Gavin.” It’s a simple statement, but tears and pain ooze through it and I hold the phone away from my mouth as I curse the fact that I can’t be there with her. I should be there.

  She needs me.

  “I know, Baby,” I tell her, wishing I could hold her.

  “They… They found her with a rose, like the last girl.”

  Fuck.

  “I’m sorry, Luna.”

  “Once they figure out that there’s no way you committed the murder, they’ll let you go, right? They have to know that the guy who killed the other girls did this one too.”

  “I gotta go, Moonbeam. They only let me talk for a few minutes. I just… I wanted to know you’re okay.”

  “Gavin? They’re going to let you go, right? They can’t keep you, not now that they know she’s been killed by the same killer.”

  “I don’t know what’s going to happen, Babe. All I know is that I need you to believe in me. I need you to know that I didn’t do this.”

  “I know that, Gavin. You don’t even have to ask me that.”

  I close my eyes. I’ve seen the looks I got when I was led into the police station. I saw the looks I got from the students as I was escorted out. Hell, I saw the looks the principal gave me, and his secretary. I saw them all. There’s not one person in this town that believes I’m innocent…

  “Promise me, Babe. Promise me you believe me.”

  “I believe you, Gavin. You didn’t do this.”

  “Times up, Lodge,” the deputy says from his corner, his face cold.

  “I gotta go, Luna.”

  “Gavin, no. Don’t go. Tell me what I can do to help. Tell me—”

  “I’ll be okay. I love you, Moonbeam.”

  I hang up and that poison in the pit of my stomach churns. I’ve been through a lot of shit in my lifetime. You’d think I could handle anything, but right now I feel fear. I have from the first moment they brought me in.

  They won’t even tell me why they suspect me, they keep asking me the same questions over and over. I’ve got a bad feeling it doesn’t matter what I answer. Their mind is made up and all the people they’ve talked to is only helping them.

  I close my eyes and immediately a picture of Roy Lodge’s cold smile flashes in my mind.

  I’m fucked...

  CHAPTER FIFTY NINE

  LUNA

  This could go bad.

  Really bad.

  I’m desperate though. There’s nothing else I can do. Gavin has been locked up for three weeks. He had a damn arraignment and Atticus said they set his bond at one-hundred thousand dollars. They say that is low when compared to what he was charged with, but that doesn’t matter. It might as well have been a hundred dollars. Gavin doesn’t have that kind of money and there’s no way his father is going to help him. Roy Lodge is the star witness for the prosecution. Gavin’s picture has been in every newspaper in Maine. His face on the news—even the national news. I’ve begged my parents to help and that wasn’t easy. Talking to my dad and asking him for anything right now was hard, but he won’t listen. They’ve been keeping me locked up too. I can’t leave the house. Mom or Dad take me to school and pick me up. It appears they can hate each other, but the one thing they can agree on is holding me hostage.

  It doesn’t just end with them either. I’m a prisoner at school, too. The principal seems to constantly follow me around while I’m there. If he doesn’t, then the vice-principal or his secretary does. There hasn’t been one chance to sneak away.

  Not one.

  I might as well be locked up with Gavin at this point and considering I stole my mother’s car while she was in the shower, I probably will be. I had to though. This is the first chance I’ve had. Usually her and Dad tag team, so one or the other watches me constantly and if it’s only one of them, they literally lock my door. Dad had the locks changed so it locked from the outside.

  It’s ridiculous.

  Today, though, Mom slipped up. I played hooky from school and because she felt bad that I was sick, when she took her morning shower, she left my door unlocked in case I needed to run to the bathroom in the hall. The minute I heard the shower turn on, I bolted. I had spied Mom’s keys lying on the counter, when I came down under the guise of getting some ginger ale for my stomach. Lady luck continued to be on my side when they were still there. I grabbed them, then sprinted to the garage.

  I’m sure Mom has discovered the clump under the covers of my bed is not me by now. She may have even discovered that her car is gone. I figure the worst she can do is call the police and since I’m headed there, I don’t really care.

  At this point, I’m so mad at my parents that I don’t care what they think or how they react to anything. I’ve been screaming at them for weeks that Gavin is innocent. I told them there was no way he could have killed Jules. They either think I’m lying, or they don’t care.

  I’m starting to believe it’s a combination of both.

  Still, I know I can save Gavin and since no one else is even trying to, I have to do this.

  I park the car on the street, my hands tightening on the steering wheel so hard that my fingers go white from the pressure. I’m a nervous wreck.

  What if they don’t believe me? What if they don’t even bother to check my story?

  I hold my head down against the wheel and calm my churning stomach. I wasn’t exactly lying to Mom. I’ve been sick for two days. I can’t keep anything down. I know it’s stress. Stress and pain. If Mom and I were talking, maybe I would have handled all of this differently. Only we’re not talking. I feel like she’s let me down too. She didn’t even let me go to Jules’ memorial service.

  I should have been there…

  I climb out of the car and walk toward the station on shaky legs. I feel like there are a million eyes on me, but I don’t look around to actually see if there are. I open the door to the police station and walk to the front desk. I look around the room and see several cops that I’ve seen in town all sitting at desks. I swallow down the bile that rises when I see some men in suits standing talking to the sheriff. One has a jacket on, and the jacket says FBI on it. Atticus said that he was told they were coming in and were going to take control. Are they here for Gavin now?

  Probably.

  That’s another reason I’m so desperate.

  “Can I help you?”

  I look at the man at the front desk. Stone Lake is a small town, but I don’t know him. I can’t even place him. I don’t know why that’s important
right now, and I don’t guess it is. I just… I thought maybe if I knew someone here, it would help…

  I wring my hands together, my stomach churning. I pray I don’t get sick. Considering the last two days that’s entirely possible and somehow, I don’t think throwing up on the cops will help either Gavin or me.

  “I’m here to give a statement.”

  “A statement?”

  “Yes.”

  “What are you wanting to give a statement about?”

  “I’m Luna Marshall, Gavin Lodge’s girlfriend, and I’m here to give a statement on his behalf.”

  “I’m afraid that doesn’t matter right now. You’ll have to talk to his public defender. This is out of our hands,” he says, his face going hard.

  Panic hits me again.

  Doesn’t matter? Talk to his public defender?

  If I don’t give this statement now, I’ll never get the chance. My parents will lock me up so tight that I’ll never see daylight again.

  I have to do this now.

  I notice out of the corner of my eye that the men in suits and the FBI-coat-guy are looking at me. I have their attention.

  Oh God.

  “You have to listen to me,” I say, speaking louder, hoping they hear me… hoping anyone will listen to me. “I need to talk to you about Gavin Lodge.”

  “Lady, I don’t know what—”

  “I can prove he’s innocent. I can prove that you’ve arrested and charged the wrong person in Jules…” I get choked up when I say her name. A familiar pain lances through me, but I push through. “In the murder of Julie Sampson,” I finally finish.

  “You have proof?”

  The question comes from the guy in the jacket. I look up at him and I don’t know why, but I get the feeling that he wants me to have proof. He looks almost… friendly.

  “I do,” I tell him. “He couldn’t have murdered Jules, because… he was with me.”

  “You can prove that?”

  “Yeah.”

  He puts his hand on my back and looks at the sheriff. “I’ll be conducting this interview. You’re welcome to join, or not. I don’t really give a damn,” he says, and I can tell the sheriff isn’t happy. There’s some major friction there. Suddenly, I’m even more glad the guy in the coat is here.

  Maybe he will help.

  CHAPTER SIXTY

  GAVIN

  “G ood news, Gavin.”

  I look up as Detective Dern comes through the door. I’m leaning against the cell wall, sitting on my mattress, which is so paper thin that I can feel the steel underneath it. I like Detective Dern. He’s been decent to me from the beginning, I get the impression he believes me. He thinks I didn’t kill Jules or any of the other women. The problem is I don’t have any proof, that coupled with the fact that the people who they deem as my “family” have all testified against me…

  I’m fucked.

  “I doubt it,” I tell him, staring at the wall, refusing to let hope rise. I gave up hope a couple weeks back. I haven’t heard from Luna. She didn’t even come to my arraignment. She said she believed in me, but apparently that has changed. I’m truly alone. I rake my hand through my hair, pulling my head down to my knees. The smell of the orange jumpsuit they had me put on smells musty. It’s the same smell that haunts me in this cell. I know Detective Dern is trying to help me, he doesn’t want me to give up hope, but it’s too late.

  Maybe it always has been.

  “Chin up, Lodge. Things are about to get a whole lot better for you.”

  “Is the guard going to be cuter when he does the body search on me this time?” I joke, though there’s no humor in my voice.

  There’s actually nothing in my voice, because there’s nothing in me.

  I’m empty.

  Detective Dern opens my cell door.

  Is he going to give me another one of his heart to heart talks? I don’t think I can handle that right now.

  “You’re free, boy.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  “I’m serious. Right now, as we speak, all charges against you are being dropped. I even saw to it myself that the prosecutor compiled the proper papers and hand delivered them to the judge.”

  “I… you’re… You mean it?”

  “Yep. Most days my job sucks, this is a win for the good guys. You’re free, Gavin.”

  “How?” I ask, still afraid to believe it.

  “Luna Marshall.”

  “Luna? Do you know Luna?”

  “I met her a week ago. She’s a brave young woman.”

  “Luna was here? I don’t understand. How could she get the charges dismissed?”

  “She signed a statement and gave private testimony to the judge that you were with her the night of the murder.”

  “How is that different than what I’ve been telling everyone?”

  “You never gave a name, son. I asked you to, and you refused.”

  “Luna didn’t need to be drawn into this mess. I had people who had to agree that I was at the prom, though.”

  “Yeah, but so was Jules. Luna’s testimony was different.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “She gave details, that included places you stopped when you left the prom. It took us a week to check out her story, but we did it. Once the judge saw videotape of you at the gas station and later on the security camera of a local dairy bar, showing you were clearly with Luna at the time of the murder…”

  Detective Dern shrugs his shoulders, leaving me to draw my own conclusion.

  “Where’s Luna at now?”

  “Right now? I’d assume at school or locked up at her parents’ home. I don’t think Mr. and Mrs. Marshall are big fans of yours, son.”

  “Do you blame them?”

  “They’re just trying to protect their daughter. I have a suspicion that if I had a daughter, I’d be the same way.”

  “You don’t have kids?”

  “Don’t even have a wife. Tried once, but she said I was more married to the job and not to her. I reckon she was right. It’s hard to have a family in this line of work, son. That might be something you want to think about, if you’re serious about applying for the Bureau someday.”

  “That dreams gone,” I mumble, still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I’m free and that this nightmare is over.

  “Bullshit. If you want it and work hard, it can be yours, Gavin.”

  I hold my head down. I’ve had this talk with Dern. He’s spent a lot of time checking on me. I told him my dream of being a detective one day in weakness. Now I’m embarrassed that he knows.

  “I checked out all those papers you gave me. My record’s not going to be clear anymore and how in the hell am I going to go to college and support myself… too?” I started to add Luna’s name to that, but now I don’t know where she stands with things. For all I know, she never wants to see me again.

  “You can take out loans, get grants. There’s help out there, but more than that. You can stay with me while you’re in school.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  “I’m being straight with you, Gavin. If you’re serious about entering this field I’m willing to help you.”

  “Why would you do that? Why would you do any of this?”

  “Let’s just say I see something in you that reminds me of myself.”

  “I don’t know what to say…” I tell him. There’s hope inside of me, I thought it had died but now I can feel it coming back to life, spreading through my system.

  Light where once was nothing but darkness.

  “I’ll make sure your record isn’t a problem even after the charges are dropped, sometimes an arrest history and you’ve had the fight at school and now this, can cause issues. I’ll smooth those over. In exchange you keep your head down and work hard.”

  It’d be stupid to cry in front of him right now, but I have the urge to do it. He hands me a piece of paper, I grab it and look down at the phone numbers that are written on it.

  “What’s thi
s?”

  “You get back to school. You graduate. Once that’s done, Gavin, you call me.”

  “I… I don’t know how to thank you, Mr. Dern.”

  “Call me Lawrence and you can thank me by studying and working your ass off.”

  “I will. I promise. You won’t be disappointed in me. I can’t wait to tell Luna.”

  “About that…”

  “Luna? What’s wrong?” I ask him a spike of fear piercing through the goodness that had begun to take hold.

  “Her parents are threatening to prosecute you for statutory rape if you continue to try and see their daughter.”

  “They can’t do that!”

  “I’m afraid they can, son.”

  “But Luna’s eighteen.”

  “She is now, but she wasn’t when you two first started your relationship.”

  “But we didn’t. I mean she… we didn’t…”

  He puts his hand on my shoulder, to try and calm me, but it doesn’t help.

  The idea of being thrown back in jail, now that I’m finally free. The threat of losing my freedom again, having to go through more body searches, being arrested and handcuffed and dragged into court…. I’ve never had one, but if I were going to have a panic attack, it would be now.

  “She told them that, but it doesn’t matter. They have witnesses willing to testify that you took advantage of Luna when she was sixteen and that she’s been coerced into giving you an alibi and into continuing a relationship.”

  “That’s bullshit. Who would—”

  “Your own father and brother and a few other classmates at school.”

  “What the fuck,” I growl, standing up. I slam my fist into the block wall. Pain slices through my body, but I don’t care.

  “Listen, I know it sucks now and you think this girl is the one—”

  “She is the one,” I argue, yelling it out, because it’s true.

  “I won’t argue she’s not a good girl and it’s clear she loves you, but, Gavin, you need to think with your head here.”

  “What I need to do is get Luna and leave fucking Stone Lake as far behind as I can.”