Guts & Glory: Ryder (In the Shadows Security Book 2)

by Jeanne St. James

  He nodded. “Finish puttin’ the shit away and get back here double time.”

  “With the condom and lube?”

  He cocked a brow. “You got lube, too?”

  She pushed from the bed and shot him a smile. “Maybe. But are you sure you’re up for it?”

  His hand dropped to his erection that tented his boxers. “What’s it look like?”

  “I meant your ankle and your head.”

  “Not going to be usin’ either one of those things.”

  “Going to get creative?”

  “Sure am, darlin’, so hurry up. In fact, get back here triple time.”

  “You in a rush? Got somewhere to go?” she teased him with his own questions.

  “Yeah, I plan on goin’ down on you while you straddle my face. Then you’re gonna ride my cock. Sound like a plan?”

  “Sounds like a damn good one,” she answered with a grin.

  He agreed.

  She had one naked thigh tucked over his, her arm curled around his waist and her cheek on his chest as it rose and fell. Their hearts were now beating normally, their breathing steady, their damp skin now almost dry.

  His fingers combed through her long hair, spreading the silky blonde strands along her bare back.

  Normally, he’d be trying not to nod off after sex. Especially with how active their sexual activities had been, now that his ankle could bear his weight and his concussion symptoms were gone. But he was wide awake from a fear he was doing his damnedest not to show.

  He’d brought her to his cabin to help “save” her.

  But now, who was going to save him?

  That slippery muck he had been trying to avoid... He not only stepped in it, but lost his boot while doing so.

  It was one thing to have sex with the woman in their little safe “bubble” of his cabin. It was another to continue to do so after they headed home to Shadow Valley.

  No matter how he looked at it, it just wouldn’t be smart.

  And they needed to get back soon. He had no more excuses to keep them holed up in his cabin.

  She’d been alcohol and drug free for over a week now. She hadn’t had any more meltdowns. No, instead, she had woken up every morning and made breakfast without him asking for the past five days. The same with dinner. She also had cleaned the cabin from top to bottom. She had taken a long hike with him once his ankle had been able to handle his weight and there were no more twinges of pain.

  They had returned back to the top of the mountain on the ATV twice and watched the sunrise. Though they missed part of the second one because he couldn’t wait to be inside her while the sun was coming up over the mountains.

  It had been the most beautiful thing he’d ever experienced in his life. The soft colorful hues of the start of the day lighting up Kelsea’s face as she climaxed around him and cried out his name.

  Fuck, if he could do that every morning for the rest of his life, he’d die a happy man.

  But he couldn’t.

  They couldn’t.

  He couldn’t hold her hand for the rest of her life, either. He needed to let her go. Let her take control of her own life. It would now be up to her to continue on the right path. Either she would or she wouldn’t.

  But either way, he didn’t want to be her crutch. That would do her no good.

  When he stepped out of the cabin to call Diesel the other night, the man had ordered him to bring her home. He wasn’t paying Ryder for a “fuckin’ vacation.”

  He ended up telling the big man that he didn’t have to pay him anything. He was fine with doing all of this on his own time. Diesel had grunted and not said anything for a few seconds. Finally, he warned, “She better not come back fuckin’ knocked up. ‘Cause then we’re gonna have an even bigger fuckin’ problem than me an’ you do right now.”

  “She ain’t gonna come back knocked up,” Ryder assured his boss. Because at least that was true.

  “She texted Brooke,” Diesel grumbled.

  She hadn’t told him that and must have deleted the texts before handing over the cell phone to him. “And?”

  “An’ said she’d be a better sister.”

  “Sounds promisin’,” was all Ryder responded. He hoped she’d stick to that.

  “Yeah, we’ll fuckin’ see. Needs to keep her ass outta West Virginia an’ away from that Slit.”

  “Slash.”

  “What-fuckin-ever. Otherwise...” D went quiet.

  Ryder got his meaning, though. The war between the Dirty Angels and the Shadow Warriors MC had finally come to an end. But Ryder wouldn’t put it past the club enforcer to start a new one with the Deadly Demons over his cousin.

  “Don’t think that’s gonna be an issue,” Ryder assured him. But he also never told D how he found Kelsea that night. He had been trying to avoid that war. Because even though it would be between the two MC’s, he and his fellow Shadows would find their asses in the middle of it.

  And a new war would put all the DAMC women and children at risk and possibly even Mercy’s woman, Rissa. Ryder couldn’t imagine the death and devastation that would happen if both Mercy and Diesel went on a rampage. It’d be like Godzilla and King Kong taking over the world at the same time.

  “Anyway, get your ass back here. Got a couple jobs comin’ in. Also, Slade’s got a request.”

  “What kind of request?” Slade was a DAMC member, but also a former Marine. He had helped the Shadows a time or two in the past when it came to some assignments when they were short-handed. He was the only man Ryder knew of that could go head-to-head with Steel when it came to boxing.

  “When Crow visited Rocky at Greene last time, the man mentioned another possible siblin’. Nothin’ concrete, but Slade wants us to find him if he exists.”

  “Hunter’s best for that.”

  “No fuckin’ shit. But Hunter’s on another job right now. Everybody’s tied up ‘cause you’re up on that mountain twiddlin’ your fuckin’ thumbs. We’re shorthanded.”

  “Is he in a rush? Can’t he wait until Hunter’s free?”

  Diesel grunted into the phone. “Just get your ass back here, got me?”

  “D...”

  “Yeah,” he grunted again.

  “You mentioned gettin’ Rissa to talk with Kelsea. I think that may be a good idea. I think she needs it.” He also didn’t tell D the truth about what Pierce did to Kelsea. In fact, he was going to leave that up to her. He would take that secret to his grave if she wanted him to, but it would be a good idea for her to talk to someone since Ryder wasn’t a therapist. And he would have a hard time listening to her and not be furious with Pierce the whole time.

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m serious.”

  “Said fuckin’ yeah,” D bellowed into the phone, which made Ryder wonder if D had a suspicion about why Kelsea was acting out. His boss was wicked smart, though he looked and sounded dumb as a rock. The man caught a lot of people off guard that way, so it wouldn’t surprise him if D had figured it all out. Maybe that’s why he would never let Kels hit rock bottom.

  Now it all made sense. As the DAMC’s enforcer and Sergeant at Arms, he was tasked with protecting everyone in that club. And any failure in that respect hit him hard, though he’d never say it.

  Even though Pierce had been a long-time member, in fact before Diesel was born, whatever happened to any of the current generation of the DAMC fell on his shoulders, whether he was the enforcer at the time or not.

  He just took his job that seriously.

  “Gonna talk to Mercy.”

  “Do that. Givin’ you two more fuckin’ days, then get back here.”

  “Copy that.”

  The phone went dead.

  That conversation had been yesterday. Which meant they needed to head back tomorrow.

  Which meant one more dinner, one more breakfast. One more night together.

  If it was up to him, they might not get much sleep.

  “You got tense,” came softly from the area of his
chest.

  He forced himself to relax when he tipped his eyes downward. “Yeah.”

  “Why?”

  He took a breath. “Time for us to go home, darlin’.”

  She lifted her head and locked her blue eyes with his. “Today?”

  He shook his head. “Tomorrow.”

  “I thought you said we’d go home when you thought I was ready.”

  “You’re ready, darlin’. Can’t keep you here forever.” Can’t keep you forever.

  “I like it here.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “Yeah?”

  She planted her cheek back on his sternum, her eyes turned towards him. “Yeah. I never thought I’d like to be unplugged from the world. But it’s grown on me.”

  “I come up here as often as I can.”

  “How long have you had it?”

  “My grandfather built the original cabin. My father built the shed. It’s been in my family for three generations.”

  “Is your grandfather still alive?”

  “No.”

  “Father?”

  “No. I was young when my grandparents passed on. My parents had me when they were older. My mother was forty, my father fifty-one.”

  “Any siblings?”

  He shook his head. “My mother didn’t think she could conceive. I was a surprise.”

  “I’m sure I was a surprise, too.”

  He brushed a hand over her hair. “He never knew who you really were, darlin’. Not one of us told him before... Well, just before.” Before Crow sliced the motherfucker’s neck. Before any of them actually knew everything.

  Kelsea didn’t respond, just stared at the nearest wall.

  “Darlin’, you’ve got family who loves you. I wish I had the family you have. Think about your cousins, Dex, Ivy, Bella, Hawk and, hell, Diesel. Your Uncle Ace and Aunt Janice, who’d give you the shirt off their backs. Your Aunt Allie. And, I’ve told you this several times, your mother loves you, whether you believe it or not. You are so much more than the DNA your father donated. You’re a Dougherty. Be proud of that. Even without them, you’ve got the rest of the club sisterhood standing behind you. One thing about your MC is that the loyalty among you all is intense. However, you also gotta remember, you need to reciprocate that. They need you, too. All of them.”

  “I’m not sure Brooke will forgive me.”

  “Your sister loves you, too. She’ll be there for you when you’re ready. She wants to help you.”

  “If it wasn’t for her showing up, I still might not know the truth.”

  “Her showin’ up had its good points and bad. But don’t you think she struggled after findin’ out what Pierce did to her own mother? Yeah, she had Dex but she needed you, too. Still does, darlin’.”

  “I’m going to try to be a better sister,” she murmured, her hand sliding over his now bearded face. He’d forgotten to tell her to pick up a new razor that last trip into town and she was using his for her legs. He had convinced her to stop shaving her pussy bare, at least. He liked it better with a little blonde tuft at the top.

  “You are gonna be a better sister. Not try. Just be.” He studied her face for a moment. “It’s amazin’ how much you two look alike.”

  “Brooke is hot and classy.”

  “Yeah.”

  She arched an eyebrow at him.

  He grinned, then laughed. “You waitin’ for another response?”

  “Not if it’s going to be a lie, I’m not!”

  “Gimme some sugar. That might convince me to come up with a better response.”

  She straddled him and moved until her lips were right above his and their gazes locked. “Got one now?”

  “Nope.”

  She brushed her lips over his and, fuck, did she taste good.

  “Now?”

  “Not yet,” he murmured against her lips.

  She kissed him again, pressing her tongue to his. When he tried to deepen the kiss, she pulled slightly away. “How about now?”

  “Yeah, darlin’, I’ll agree you’re hot.”

  “And classy?”

  “Might have to work on that a bit.”

  “You’d rather have classy?”

  “I prefer down-to-earth.” She wasn’t there yet, either. But this week and a half had brought her closer. And right now he couldn’t complain about the woman in his arms. Except that their time there was coming to an end.

  Much sooner than he wanted it to.

  Why did he feel like a momma bird shoving her fledgling out of the nest and hoping for the best?

  No doubt he worried about her and would continue to. He knew how difficult it could be to stay on the straight and narrow. Some days could be good, some days not so much. It took a lot of dedication and determination to stay the course.

  If he hadn’t had that brawl with Steel all those years ago, he might have hit rock bottom and never resurfaced. If she slipped up and went back to her old destructive ways, he might not be able to be the one to pull her back out.

  His chest ached just thinking about that.

  But he was done saving her ass. He’d told her that. He told Diesel that.

  He’d told himself that, too.

  He needed to stick to that.

  He showed her the path, now she needed to follow it. She was the one who needed to take those steps forward.

  It was important that she do it on her own, so she can realize how strong she really was.

  He saw it. He believed it.

  Now it was all on her.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Kelsea stared at her big galoot of a cousin who was sitting behind his desk in the warehouse that housed In the Shadows Security. Ryder stood at her back, not saying a word.

  Diesel’s gaze was currently pinned on her after staring at Ryder for a few uncomfortable moments.

  She was waiting for D to explode in his Diesel-like fashion, but so far, so good. But he needed to say something instead of simply glaring.

  “You’re movin’ out of that shit hole of an apartment.”

  That wasn’t what she expected. “I have roommates, D, I just can’t leave them in the lurch.”

  “Not sure why you think anythin’ I’m ‘bout to say’s fuckin’ negotiable. Got me?”

  Kelsea’s jaw tightened and every muscle in her body tensed. “You sit in that chair like you’re the fucking King of England.”

  “In this warehouse I am the fuckin’ king.”

  She lifted one shoulder. She wasn’t one of his subjects nor should she have to answer to him. “Then I’m leaving.”

  As she turned to do just that, she not only faced Ryder blocking her way but a wall of muscle named Mercy. When the fuck had he snuck in? The man was almost as big as D but moved like a ghost.

  “Cost me a lot of fuckin’ scratch, Kels, havin’ Ryder come save your ass time after time. You owe me.”

  She turned her head and glanced back at her cousin, who was now sitting back in his chair, his thick, tattooed arms crossed over his broad chest.

  Yep, the King of fucking England with a crooked crown, a whole lot of tats and a grumpy attitude.

  She turned to face him. “What do I owe you? Tell me. I’ll pay you back.”

  “First off, you couldn’t fuckin’ afford it. Second, not lookin’ for money, woman, lookin’ for you to get your shit together.”

  “It’s together.”

  He cocked an eyebrow.

  “It is. Ask Ryder.”

  Still Ryder said nothing behind her. What the hell was wrong with him? Why wasn’t he coming to her defense?

  “Gonna be some rules.”

  Oh, for fuck’s sake, what was it with these men and their fucking rules? “I’m an adult, D. I don’t need you to give me rules.”

  “These rules are what you’re gonna follow to pay me back. Like I fuckin’ said, you’re movin’ out of that skanks nest.”

  She didn’t have to listen to him, but just out of curiosity... “And where am I moving to?”

/>   “For now, back with your mother.”

  She frowned. The last place she wanted to live was with her mother. She’d rather live in a tent in the middle of a desert. She wasn’t ready to “make nice” with Annie and wasn’t sure when she would be. “Did you miss the part where I’m an adult?”

  “Ignorin’ it ‘cause ain’t seen you act like one in a long time. Maybe never. Ryder’s gonna deliver your ass to Annie’s. You’re gonna stay there ‘til you make enough money to get your own place.”

  He must have gotten her confused with his ol’ lady. Since when did he get to boss her around like that? “Ace will probably let me live above the pawn shop if I ask.” That was a good idea. She was going to call her uncle and ask as soon as she left the warehouse and got a new phone.

  “Not without bein’ able to pay ‘im rent.”

  Wait. Hold up. “He never charged anyone else in the club rent!” she exclaimed.

  “Right. You move in there, gonna pay ‘im rent. No exceptions.”

  She sighed. She’d deal with that later. She was sure she could sweet talk her uncle in to letting her live there rent-free. “What else?”

  “Gonna show up every fuckin’ day at Brooke’s inside shop.”

  Inside shop? “You mean her interior design business?”

  He waved a massive hand around. “Whatever the fuck it is. Ain’t gonna be late, ain’t gonna cut out early. Gonna work your ass off an’ help your sister out. Dex’s gonna report back to me every fuckin’ day. Got me?”

  From one babysitter to the next.

  Unfortunately, he wasn’t done. “No booze. No drugs. No fuckin’ Slit.”

  Ryder snorted behind her. “Slash.”

  “What-fuckin’-ever,” Diesel barked and jabbed a meaty finger in her direction. “I find out you’re down in Demons territory, I’m personally gonna go down there an’ kill that motherfucker an’ maybe you, too.”

  She wasn’t worried about that, since that “rule” wouldn’t be hard to follow. She wasn’t planning on searching Slash out, not after that last time. And especially not after having sex with Ryder. Putting steak sauce on a hot dog did not make it Filet Mignon. Especially after getting a taste of that quality steak. Who happened to be still standing behind her way too quiet for her liking.