Broken Scars

by J. M. Walker

  “What the hell are you saying to me?”

  “That you’re an addict. A nympho. Whatever the fuck you want to call it.” I stood from the bed, earning me a small gasp. I always got that reaction and my cock jumped because of it.

  “I’m not a sex addict,” she whispered.

  I spun on her. “No? Lay back on the bed and I’ll prove to you that you are.”

  “Lucas?”

  I jumped, my mind taking me back to the present.

  Lily frowned. “You good?”

  “Yeah.” I scrubbed my face. “Sorry. Bad memories. I really don’t know why you love me. I used to be such an asshole.”

  Lily brought my hand up to her mouth. “You’re not an asshole to me. And if you were an asshole to her or to any of the other women you slept with, clearly you hadn’t found your person yet.”

  My heart swelled. “You’re my person, Lily. You will always be my person.”

  “Good.” She gave me a small smile. “Now feed me.”

  I chuckled. “Yes, ma’am.”

  ***

  (Lily)

  Things still weren’t perfect, but they would have to do for now. While Lucas and I sat at the restaurant, I kicked off my heels and placed my feet on his lap.

  He smirked, covering them with his big hand and pushing his thumb into the arch of my foot.

  I sighed, taking a sip of my water. “Thank you for this.”

  “You’re welcome, Lily Pad.” He took a sip of his own water, leaning back in the booth across from me. “Do you feel better?”

  “Now that we’re not at the hotel where the woman you used to fuck works? Yes, I do.”

  Lucas rolled his eyes. “That sass is going to earn you a spanking, Lily.”

  “I look forward to it,” I mumbled.

  “Now you know how I feel.”

  My gaze shot to his.

  “With Killian.” He shrugged. “He doesn’t make me feel insecure, but he is competition.”

  “And how many times do I have to tell you that you have nothing to worry about.”

  “Yeah.” Lucas sat forward. “And how many times have I told you that you have nothing to worry about, Lily? I don’t want Mel. No matter what she says or does, she means nothing to me. We were together at a time I needed comfort from a gentle touch. But you’ve come into my life when I needed it most.”

  I went to pull my feet from his lap when his grip on them tightened.

  “I’ve spent years going through life only because I had to. Do you know how many times I’ve overdosed? I should have died but there was a reason I didn’t. You are that reason. I realize that now.”

  My stomach tumbled. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean that clearly there was something keeping me here. It’s you, Lily. It’s always been you.”

  My eyes welled. I covered my face.

  The bench beside me lowered. “I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Lucas whispered, kissing my head.

  “You always say the sweetest things when I need to hear them most and then you make me cry,” I sobbed. “I hate you.”

  Lucas chuckled. “I love you, Lily,” he murmured, brushing his mouth along the shell of my ear. “I love you with every inch of me.”

  “It makes sense though.” I reached out to brush the bangs that had grown in some off of his forehead. My fingers ran over the tattoos on the side of his head. “I understand why she would still want you. You would be hard to get over.”

  “That’s never going to happen, baby.” He leaned his forehead against mine. “Never.”

  I hoped he was right.

  Lucas

  AFTER WE FINISHED OUR meal in a comfortable silence, I couldn’t help but watch Lily. She was absolutely breathtaking. In her tight red dress that hugged every inch of her curves, it fit her perfectly. Her eyes were bright as she took in our surroundings. We couldn’t drink but we did have virgin cocktails. Although they were sweeter than what I was used to, I enjoyed the fruity liquid.

  “I think I want a Shirley Temple next,” Lily said, playing with her napkin. “Or well…I really just want the cherry.”

  I chuckled. “I’m on it.” I signaled the waitress over.

  She came over with a wide smile on her face. “What can I get for you?”

  “We’ll have two Shirley Temples please and can we get a bowl of cherries?”

  She looked between Lily and I. “Cherries are for you?” she asked Lily.

  Lily giggled. “Yes, I like them a little too much.”

  The waitress laughed. “I get it. I’ll be back with your drinks and cherries in just a moment.” She spun on her heal and headed to the bar.

  “Thank you.” Lily gave me a soft smile.

  “Anything for you, Lily Pad.” After I had unexpectedly made her cry, I moved back to my side of the booth. We had ordered something light to eat. I wasn’t overly hungry, especially after everything that had happened this afternoon. I was hungrier for the woman sitting across from me. But I needed to leave her alone. For a little bit anyway.

  A moment later, the waitress came back with our drinks and a bowl of cherries.

  We thanked her, and she went back to serving other customers.

  “It’s funny. I never thought I’d see a man like you drinking a Shirley Temple.” Lily laughed, popping a cherry into her mouth.

  “What’s wrong with Shirley Temples?” I asked, taking a sip of the sweet fruity drink.

  “Oh nothing. But you drinking them is kind of odd.”

  “Why? Because I’m big and tattooed?”

  Lily grinned. “Yeah. Something like that.”

  “I don’t give a shit what people think, Lily Pad. You of all people should know that. If I did care, I wouldn’t have all of these tattoos.” Tattoos were my addiction. They were also safer than the drugs I used to enjoy.

  “I like your tattoos,” Lily said, winking at me over the rim of her glass.

  “Yeah?” I smirked. “And which one is your favorite?”

  “Hmm…” She leaned forward, licking her full mouth. “I think my favorite is your octo—”

  “Lucas.”

  Both of us turned at the sound of my name.

  Mel was coming up to our table. She was no longer in her work uniform but a formfitting black dress. The vee was deep, showing cleavage that had the men in the restaurant salivating. Her deep blue eyes burned into me.

  “You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Lily mumbled.

  “What do you want, Mel?” I asked her.

  “We need to talk.” Mel’s gaze shot to Lily’s. “Alone.”

  “I’m kind of busy. Can it wait?” Something pressed into the seat of my crotch. “We’re on a date,” I said, when I realized it was Lily’s foot in my lap. Our eyes locked.

  Lily’s jaw clenched, pushing her foot into me harder. She was making a point.

  Duly noted, sweet girl. I know who I belong to.

  “I’m sorry, Mel,” I said, cupping Lily’s foot and pressing my thumb into the arch. “Whatever it is, it’s going to have to wait.”

  “We’re in town until tomorrow,” Lily told her, rubbing her foot against me.

  My dick hardened. This display of ownership did something funny to me.

  Mel pressed her full lips together, her cheeks turning a mottled red. “I…I need to talk to you.”

  “Sit.” Lily swiped a hand out in front of her. “Talk, but my boyfriend isn’t going anywhere with you.” She pushed her foot against me hard.

  I jumped, biting back a growl.

  Lily raised an eyebrow.

  Clearing my throat, I sat back, running my hand up to her calf. “She’s right.”

  “What? Are you his keeper now?” Mel threw back at her.

  “No.” Lily crossed her arms under her chest. “But I know women like you. Lucas is a big boy and he can do whatever he wants to do. But right now, we’re on a date, if you haven’t noticed. Obviously, you don’t care about that or else you wouldn’t be here.”
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br />   “Pull up a chair, Mel.” This was a bad idea. “But Lily’s right, I’m not going anywhere.”

  Mel huffed, spun on her heel, and left the restaurant.

  “I’m sorry.” I reached across the table for Lily’s hand. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

  “Yeah.” Lily linked her fingers in mine. “Me too, Lucas. Me too.”

  ***

  “No, I can’t.” I refused to give them what they wanted. I couldn’t, knowing it would destroy me.

  “If you don’t, she dies.”

  I was shoved forward onto my knees. “Please, this isn’t right.” Not that anything I ever did was right, but this was worse. So much worse than what life had already thrown at me.

  “Doesn’t matter if it’s right or not.” The woman leaned down to my ear, running her hand down the length of my spine. “I know you want to. That perfect little dick is getting hard just thinking about it. She’s beautiful, Lucas. I know you want to fuck her.”

  My eyes shot to the mattress.

  Mel was restrained, spread open on the bed like a damn starfish.

  “No.” I didn’t want this even though my body thought differently.

  “Yes.” The woman pushed me.

  I fell forward, landing on my hands. “I can’t.”

  “You can and you’re going to make us a shit-ton of money too.” The woman wrapped her arm around my shoulders, her other hand reaching between my legs. She gripped and pulled, tugged and stroked.

  A groan escaped me.

  “That’s my boy.” She kissed my cheek and released me, still pumping her hand up and down my cock. “Get hard, Lucas. So damn hard, she screams when you thrust into her.”

  I was forced to my feet by two men behind me and shoved onto the mattress.

  Mel stared up at me with wide eyes. They were begging, pleading. She was tiny. I was not. I would hurt her. It was what they wanted. I couldn’t. There was no way I would fit.

  “Do it,” the woman demanded. “Now.”

  I shot out of bed, landing on the floor with a hard ‘oomph.’ My body ached. My muscles twitched over my bones and vibrated beneath my skin. My lungs burned, the lack of air forcing spots in front of my vision. I gasped for breath I wasn’t allowed to have.

  So many memories. Nightmares. Evil depraved images rolled around in my head.

  The first thrust forced a scream from her lips.

  The second thrust earned me a hard cry.

  Sex. So much sex.

  The third thrust and a groan fell between us.

  “Lucas.” A gentle hand touched my damp skin. It moved from my shoulder to the back of my neck before pulling me into a gentle embrace.

  I jumped, my hips thrusting forward like my dick had a mind of its own.

  “Hey.”

  Lily. I was with Lily.

  I looked around us. We were back in the hotel room. We had gone on a date tonight. Mel showed up. Mel. Seeing her had sparked all of these old memories that I had been trying to ignore for most of my adult life. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t see her and have things be back to normal instantly.

  “Lily,” my voice came out rough, my throat dry.

  “I’m here,” she whispered, wrapping her naked body around mine.

  My cock was hard between us. “No.” I shoved her off of me, pressing a palm against the thick length and trying to ward off the need I had coursing through me.

  Lily’s gaze landed on my crotch, her breath hitched. “Who was your dream about?”

  A curse left me, my body vibrating at the remnants of my dream.

  “Lucas.” She knelt in front of me, cupping my face. “Tell me.”

  “It was a memory. The first time I fuck…I…” I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head and thought of anything but sex. But with Lily’s naked body so close to mine, I couldn’t help but reach out for her. So much sex. Too much. It was a lot. Not enough. It was everything I needed and everything I hated just the same.

  “Tell me, Lucas. Tell me about your dream.” Lily covered my hand. “You’re going to hurt yourself.” She pried my fingers off of my dick.

  I blew out a slow breath, not realizing I had been squeezing so damn hard. “I was forced to fuck her. Them. All of them. The women wanted it. Got off on it. They made a shit-ton of money. Fuck, I…” I rocked back and forth. I was losing it. I was breaking. I had been doing well until Mel came back into my life. Too many nightmares. Too many demons and I had no fucking idea how to battle them on my own.

  “You’re not alone.” Lily ran her hands over my shoulders. “You’re never alone.”

  I didn’t realize I had spoken out loud. “I don’t deserve you.” I looked up then. “You deserve someone who’s not so damn broken.”

  “I love you, Lucas.” She cupped my face. “Your demons, your nightmares, your horrible past, whatever it is, I’ll help you through it.”

  “Why?” I asked her.

  She tilted her head, a deep frown settling between her brows. “I love you. That’s why.”

  I believed her but that voice, that annoying little voice told me she was lying and that she would leave me the first chance she got.

  “Don’t do that, Lucas. Don’t doubt my love for you.” Lily cupped my face. “We’ll meet with Mel later this morning, so you can find out what she wants. Or you can meet with her yourself.”

  “No. I want you with me.” It was safer that way. I didn’t trust her. Even though we had been through hell together, I wasn’t sure if she would try anything. And with Lily there, she would have to refrain from touching me. Lily was the only one allowed to touch me. Any part of me.

  Lily stood, holding out her hand.

  I slipped my fingers in hers and let her help me to my feet. We slid into bed, with me wrapped around her. She drifted off rather quickly, but sleep didn’t greet me again. Instead, I couldn’t help but wonder what the hell Mel had wanted.

  ***

  “Come with me,” I said the next morning as I put on my jeans and did up the zipper and button.

  “I know I said last night that I would go with you, but I thought about it. She won’t talk to you if I’m there. It must be important if she interrupted our date over it.” Lily placed the hotel menu on the bed in front of her. “I’m going to order room service while you’re gone.”

  “I don’t like this.” I slipped the white t-shirt over my head and crawled onto the bed.

  Lily cupped my face. “I trust you.”

  “I don’t trust her.” I pushed my face into the crook of her neck. “Please come with me.”

  “Are you worried she’ll try something?” Lily asked, leaning back.

  “I don’t know.” I kissed her softly on the mouth.

  “I trust you, Lucas.” Lily brushed her thumb over my mouth. “Now go. Meet with her so we can spend the rest of the day in bed before we have to head home.”

  “Fine.” I huffed, giving her one last kiss.

  “Oh, wait.” Lily jumped off the bed and went to her pile of clothes on the chair in the corner. She rummaged through it and came back a moment later with a pair of panties. She stuffed them into my jeans pocket. “Come back to me.”

  I cupped her nape and pulled her in for a deep kiss. “I will always come back to you, Lily. Always.”

  Releasing her, I left the hotel room before I changed my mind. I needed to find out what Mel wanted and why she would go out of her way to disrupt my date with Lily. I had no way of contacting her, so I headed to the main floor. As soon as I stepped out into the foyer, I saw Mel sitting on one of the couches. She was dressed casually with a magazine on her lap. Her head snapped up.

  “Lucas.” She stood.

  “I wasn’t expecting to see you,” I told her. “I was going to ask reception how to get in touch with you because clearly, you have something important to say to me that couldn’t wait.” I walked past her and headed outside, knowing she would follow.

  “There’s a coffee shop just down the street that we can walk to,�
� Mel said, coming up on my left.

  “Fine.” I shoved my hands in my pockets, my fingers coming into contact with Lily’s panties. My body stirred. Fuck, I loved her.

  “I’m sorry for interrupting your date last night,” Mel mumbled.

  “You’re not but nice try.”

  “Lucas.” Mel gently touched my arm.

  “Don’t.” I stopped, glaring down at her. “You want to talk, I’m here but don’t you dare fucking touch me.”

  She flinched like I had slapped her myself. “I’m sorry.”

  “Stop. You are not sorry. You’ve never been fucking sorry. So just tell me what the hell it is that you want, Mel.”

  Her breath hitched. “Bobby died in jail.”

  Bobby. Fuck, I hadn’t heard that name in a long time. He should have been a role model, someone to keep us safe but destroyed our lives instead. “That’s what you wanted to tell me? That doesn’t sound like a bad thing, Mel.” He had been charged after the cops raided their place and his wife got off because she took the stand against her husband.

  “No.” She sighed. “That’s not everything I wanted to talk about.”

  Once we reached the coffee shop, she pushed open the door and held it open for me.

  I grumbled, “Thanks,’ and followed her.

  We sat at an empty booth, waiting to be served.

  “Coffee?” a waitress asked, holding a steaming pot of my favorite addiction.

  “Yes, please,” I answered.

  The woman poured me a cup. “Coffee?” she asked Mel.

  “No, thank you. Just an orange juice please,” Mel said, not taking her gaze from mine.

  I shifted uncomfortably and shoved my hand in my pocket. My thumb brushed over the soft fabric of Lily’s panties.

  “I’ll be back with two menus and your orange juice.” The waitress left and came back a moment later with menus and placed a glass of OJ in front of Mel.

  “Tell me what’s going on,” I said once we were alone.

  “Well, Bobby died but you don’t seem too upset by that.”

  “Why would I be? Both he and his wife should rot in hell.” I leaned back in the booth. “How did he die?”