Bouquet of Regret (Angel's Shifters Book 1)

by Lenai McGoveran

  Shaking my head, I placed the album on my dresser and walked into the bathroom to get ready for bed. A slight grin curled my lips, and I let the hot water run long enough to fog the mirror. A small part of me believed there would be a message on the mirror, and I sighed when that proved to be true.

  ‘Sixteen is close to eighteen, bunny, you do not win this round.’

  A soft laugh bubbled in my throat, albeit it turned to a sob. Who was Jax to me? I will figure this out, I swear it. But, since he clearly brought me here, I was a little more at ease. I belonged. I was meant to be in this town, and I was supposed to stay. Why else go through all this trouble? Biting my lip, another thought occurred to me. Would they have looked for me if Jax didn’t let them kill him? How did he know they would? Could the witch he spoke of see the future too? I had so many questions, but I didn’t know if I’d ever get answers for them. Dammit Jax, who were you to me?

  Ky raised his head excitedly when I left the bathroom, while Char and Riff looked at me expectantly. Both sat on my bed, waiting patiently to hear if I would let them sleep here another night. Chuckling, I nodded, and they relaxed with lazy grins. Ky hopped on the bed with a soft chuff, and I sighed. If this bed got any fuller, or if any other wolves joined the party, it might break. As it was, I suspect the frame was made with werewolves in mind, or else it would have already buckled under the weight of the massive wolf. Once the teenagers settled, someone brushed my bangs back, and I swallowed the lump in my throat, although I did not open my eyes. Goodnight, Jaxy, whoever you are.

  Unforgiven

  In the morning, I woke first and let Ky out with a sigh. I almost felt sorry for Kyler since his wolf sort of took over. But it was nice knowing he wouldn’t show up unexpectedly. Char gave me a knowing look when I turned my head his way, and I sighed. Once mostly dressed after my hot shower, I glanced at the mirror and chuckled.

  ‘Now that you know I’m here, I can annoy you whenever I want. Hah.’

  Well, good morning to you too, Jaxy. A knock on the door had me moving to open it, albeit I glanced at the mirror a second too late, but it was wiped clean. Well, that’s sort of a relief? Now I have a secret with Char, Dakota, and Ky. Ky and Char are aware of the same one, while Ky and Dakota are aware of the other. Oh boy. I fear this might become complicated. Chuckling, Marcus walked in, and I sighed. Here comes my least favorite part of any injury. The pain was kind of meh but the bandage changes upset my equilibrium.

  Once he finished, I pulled my shirt on, followed by a hoodie with a sigh. Char headed for the shower, kissing my forehead while he passed. Chuckling, I closed the door while he pulled his shirt over his head and rolled my eyes. Damn werewolves and their muscular bodies. Hey, I may have a “mate,” but I’m not dead. Besides, he doesn’t want me.

  Upon reaching the kitchen, I discovered breakfast waiting for me and smiled sheepishly before devouring the two pastries with gusto. “Man, I love me a girl who ain’t afraid to eat,” Riff chortled. Laughing mockingly, I stuck my tongue out at him.

  A moment later, my smile died only to be replaced by guilt. “Can I borrow your laptop?” I asked after a moment, biting my lip while waiting for his answer. Tilting his head to the side, Riff eyed me curiously, and I chuckled. “Um, Kyler and I are partnered for a project, and it’s only fair that I do my share of the work.” Shaking his head, Riff smiled tenderly, and I hunched my shoulders.

  “Of course, you can, Angel,” Riff murmured, kissing my forehead while I sighed. “You’re too good for him, and I’m sorry you got stuck with Kyler.” When I quirked my brow, he hastily added, “you know, working with him. I can’t imagine that’s any fun.” No, it isn’t. Sitting beside him isn’t my idea of a wonderful time, either. But pretending I don’t know your secret is kind of amusing. Biting my lip, I worried that he might feel betrayed because I didn’t tell him I figured it out. Guilt filled me, and I opened my mouth only to freeze when Char stalked towards me, shaking his head.

  “Don’t you dare,” he chuckled in my ear while Riff and Marcus shared a glance. When I bit my lip, he added, “what you fear will not happen. Me? They might feel annoyance, but only pride for you, Angel. So, stop worrying and enjoy yourself.”

  Chuckling, I nodded, albeit I still felt a little guilty. Plus, when I was in the presence of Marcus, I had this desire to confess everything to him. All my thoughts and fears, my dreams and hopes, because I knew he would listen. But it was more than that. I felt like he wanted to be aware, like it was important to him to have that information. Then again, if what Jaxy said was right about omegas and alphas, perhaps they worked together to take care of their pack. The alpha saw to their physical wellness in that they are safe, while the omega cared for them emotionally? Or something similar? Thus, once the omega was comfortable, the pack could blossom? Gah, so many unanswerable questions. Ah, well, I’ll solve this puzzle, eventually.

  Once Char left for school, the ever-present doughnut in his mouth, Riff played games beside me on the couch while I researched. By the time Char returned home, I had a well-written report ready to give to Kyler so he could work on the presentation part of it. Hey, now, it wasn’t fair to make the artsy one do that part. Besides, we were supposed to be learning, not only playing to our strengths. I feared that’s all Kyler did, so hopefully, this would force him out of his comfortable box.

  With a sigh, I stood and grabbed my sketchbook, and Riff grinned. Char chuckled when I picked up my iPod and headphones before pulling on my boots. They followed me at a bit of a distance, and I sighed with relief. While it was nice to feel like I belonged and to be surrounded by people who cared, I was still a loner at heart. I needed my time alone, and I feared I’d feel like I was suffocating if they stayed so close for much longer. Once at my rock, I noticed they remained out of sight to give me the illusion that I was alone. I smiled, whispered thanks under my breath, and pulled on my headphones.

  A slight breeze blew, followed by a playful tug on my headphones, and I snorted. Looking through my iPod, I picked a song that struck a deep chord with me when I first heard it. It was a cover, but I liked it more than the original because it felt more earnest. Little Red Riding Hood by Amanda Seyfried, I pressed play once I had it selected and sighed. With a smile, because I believed a particular ghost would enjoy this song, I sang aloud.

  ‘Hey there little red riding hood

  You sure are looking good

  You’re everything a big bad wolf could want

  Little red riding hood

  I don’t think little big girls should

  Go walking in these spooky old woods alone

  What big eyes you have

  The kind of eyes that drive wolves mad

  Just to see that you don’t get chased

  I think I oughta walk with you for a ways

  What full lips you have

  They’re sure to lure someone bad

  So until you get to Grandma’s place

  I think you oughta walk with me and be safe

  Gonna keep my sheep suit on

  ‘Til I’m sure that you’ve been shown

  That I can be trusted walking with you alone

  Little red riding hood

  I’d like to hold you if I could

  But you might think I’m a big bad wolf so I won’t

  What a big heart I have

  The better to love you with

  Little red riding hood

  Even bad wolves can be good

  I try to keep satisfied

  Just to walk close by your side

  Maybe you’ll see things my way

  ‘Fore we get to Grandma’s place

  Little red riding hood

  You sure are looking good

  You’re everything a big bad wolf could want

  Little red riding hood

  I don’t think little big girls should

  Go walking in these spooky old woods alone

  What big eyes you have

  The kind of eyes that drive wolves madr />
  Just to see that you don’t get chased

  I think I oughta walk with you for a ways

  What full lips you have

  They’re sure to lure someone bad

  So until you get to Grandma’s place

  I think you oughta walk with me and be safe.’

  When the song finished, I glanced up from the sketch of Zach I was working on only to stiffen. With no input from me, my lips curled into a slight scowl while my brow furrowed. Upon seeing that, Kyler’s shoulders slumped almost imperceptibly. Hmph. What did he want? Figures, I finally got to at least pretend I had some time to myself, and he showed up. Sighing, I tried to banish my darker thoughts to give the teenager the benefit of the doubt. He didn’t know this was the first chance I had to be alone, so this wasn’t an intentional corruption of my introvert time.

  I was surprised to note that I didn’t feel queasy upon seeing him, even though the thought of him made me hurl only yesterday. Instead, my heart fluttered, and my soul felt lighter, which only made my scowl darker. We’re supposed to be soulmates, right? Which he knew upon meeting me, whereas I was clueless, and he rejected that. I get that I don’t appear to be good enough for the privileged young man, and I wasn’t, but did that warrant his abuse? I understood his rejection, but I couldn’t comprehend someone in power treating another so horribly. That made for a very bleak future for the wolves of his father’s pack. Was that why they abandoned him? Because they saw how he treated a human who stood no chance against him? Albeit, I kind of took him by surprise and kicked his ass to defend his fellow wolves. I’d do it again if I needed to. But, if we were supposed to be the perfect mate for each other, why did he enjoy my pain? I had one monster in my life already, thank you very much, I did not need another.

  Kyler opened his mouth to speak, and I pointed at my headphones to indicate I wouldn’t hear him. Tilting his head to the side, he waited for me to remove them, but I refused. Rude, I know, but I didn’t want to hear his voice. His brow furrowed and a slight smile curled my lips. He was angry. Good. If you don’t treat your pack mates well, I see no reason to be kind to you. If you want my respect, you must show some first.

  Without speaking, I stood and waved for him to follow. Not only could I feel his eyes on me, but I sensed his presence while I walked. Neither Riff nor Char was pleased to see their former alpha, not that I could blame them because of his childish behavior. How did he ever believe he could be a magnificent leader without working at it? I wonder if he’s an excellent football captain? If he is, he should think about running his pack like a team. Obviously, it isn’t exactly the same, but it might set him along the right path.

  Kyler might have tried to speak, since his expression was annoyed when I glanced at him upon reaching my apartment. I unlocked my door, rolling my eyes when he couldn’t see, and entered. Kyler appeared hesitant when I glanced at him, and I scoffed under my breath. You won’t get fleas, hotshot, so stop looking around like something might bite you.

  I went straight to Riff’s laptop, pulling off my headphones once I sat on the couch. Within a moment, I had the report ready to send to him via email and asked Kyler to input his. He stared at me for a moment, until I explained I did the research and wrote the report, so the rest of the project was up to him.

  Kyler opened his mouth to argue, but I glared at him, and he thought better of that idea. I didn’t want to hear anything he had to say. I enjoyed my poison-free days. No sense in returning to reality sooner than I must. Grumbling under his breath, Kyler entered his email and sent the report to himself with a scowl. Wah. Cry about it hotshot, I don’t want to work with you either.

  Putting my headphones back on, I stood and tried to move around the taller male, but he refused to budge. Growling under my breath, I hopped the couch with a huff. Kyler stared at me with his jaw dropped, but I kept moving to put distance between us. I didn’t want to be anywhere near the temperamental jerk.

  He grabbed my arm moments after I stepped outside, and I turned toward him with a scowl. Eyeing his hand, I met his gaze defiantly, hoping it would inspire him to back off. Instead, he reached for my headphones with his free hand, but I avoided his grasp. I had no desire to speak to him. Nor to hear what terrible things he thought of me now. His lips moved, but I couldn’t hear him through my headphones, so I shrugged with a mocking smile.

  Hey, if he didn’t like my attitude, he shouldn’t have made me become this. I don’t know how he did it, but it must be his fault. How else do you explain that I’m only this way with him? Perhaps because hatred and anger are what he fed to the bond we share, that was what I gave him. It made sense, in a way. I mean, we were already dealing with werewolves, why not ties that reflected what you fed them? Plus, if I was as sensitive to emotions as Marcus believed, well, how could I not become this?

  After a few moments, Kyler scowled, and I smiled, stepping back while turning so I could return to what I came to think of as my spot in the forest. I sensed him following me, and while my mind resented his presence, my soul greedily basked in it. At least I understood why now, instead of wondering what’s wrong with me.

  Once I sat on my rock, Kyler stood before me with a scowl and his hands on his hips. I found it to be an attractive look for him. The dark, broody teenager schtick worked. Now if only he wasn’t such an asshole. I didn’t know who to side with. The young man who wanted me gone, or the wolf desperate for me to stay.

  I returned to my sketch, feeling Kyler’s glare grow colder with an inward smirk. Sucks to be on this end of it, doesn’t it, hotshot? Before I could stop it, a ‘breeze’ turned the pages of my sketchbook to reveal what I’d hastily drawn of Kyler during one of our shared classes. Great. Thanks, Jaxy. Soft laughter echoed around me, and I plotted about getting even with a ghost. It may be impossible, but that wouldn’t stop me from trying.

  Bracing for an angry outburst, I glanced at Kyler only to be taken aback by his expression. Instead of fury hardening his eyes, awe softened them. When I moved to close the book, he held up his hands with a pleading expression, and I sighed. Against my better judgment, I handed my sketchbook over while pretending my fingers weren’t trembling. I rarely let anyone look. Other than Matty, who adored looking through my sketchbooks. He called them my diary.

  I hugged my knee, resting my forehead against the top of it even though my back and wounds protested. I waited in silence, sensing the turning of each page, which made me tense until my shoulders were so taut, I feared they would snap.

  My bangs hung in the eye that could see the ground, but Kyler moved them away after kneeling so he could see my face. His lips moved, but I still couldn’t hear him, and he rolled his eyes with a slight smirk. My soul seemed to thrum, which I found to be odd, and I tensed a little more without breaking. Kyler reached towards my face, and I flinched, which caused his expression to fall and my heart ached while my mind was pleased. It was about time he learned there were consequences to his actions.

  Still, he tucked my bangs behind my ear after moving my headphone. The song I was listening to sounded odd in only one ear, and I frowned. Warily, I watched Kyler with one eye, but I didn’t realize he would do as he did. I barely registered his face moving towards mine, and suddenly our lips were pressed together.

  Startled, I jerked away only to hit my back on the rock with a yelp of pain. Thankfully, that made the tingling of my lips stop. Instead of angry or mocking, Kyler’s expression was worried, and I became warier. What game was he playing? What did he want? Better yet, why the hell was he here? “Are you all right?” Kyler asked quietly, his eyes full of worry. It was the first time I heard him speak without anger or accusation souring his voice. It was beautiful, melodious, and lilting, and I scowled. He had the kind of voice I could listen to for hours regardless of what he said, and I hated him for it. Well, my mind did. My traitorous heart beat faster when he spoke. Stupid thing didn’t understand it was hopeless because Kyler hated me. Albeit, even if it wasn’t, I refused to forgive what he’s d
one.

  I was neither a simpering lady nor a lass desperate for male attention. Between my monster and his goons, I got far more male attention than I wanted to begin with. Which would only get worse since they now considered me fair game. I had enough bullies in my life, I didn’t need Kyler too. Even if he was supposed to be the one meant for me. Yeah, right. So, he’s an attractive, hotshot werewolf. So what? That didn’t excuse his behavior, nor how he treated those around him. Not to mention, I promised myself I would never be in an abusive relationship. Kyler already proved he had no issues taking his temper out on me. I didn’t mind when I was standing between a bully and a victim, but a relationship was a whole different animal. For a moment, a dark memory from my childhood before Matty stirred within my mind, but I shook my head to dispel it before it could take hold.

  “What do you want?” I asked, my voice coming out harsher than I intended because of the memory trying to surface. A tinge of guilt filled me, but I stamped it down while swallowing the apology on my tongue.

  “To apologize,” Kyler murmured, his voice wrapping around me to the delight of my heart. Right, because an apology would fix everything. I couldn’t stop the soft, derisive snort that made his expression become crushed, but I did not try very hard. Sorry, hotshot, but yours won’t be the first empty apology I’ve received. I have a treasure trove full of them, and the memories to prove it. At least my monster refrained from mocking me with them, but my father threw them about like they were magical words. That, and he would give me a piece of candy or trinket in a weak attempt to buy my affection. I never wanted things. I wanted him to say he loved me and mean it. A child’s futile hope that died long before he did.