Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf? (The Big Bad Wolf Trilogy Book 1)

by Janie Marie

  Kylie had no idea why she was even listening to this, but it was like she had to know how much Janie had suffered. “What happened?”

  Janie sniffed, rubbing her nose as she smiled. “Ryder. Earlier that day, before I overdosed, my stepdad asked me in front of the principal and police if I was really raped, or if I just regretted having sex with those two boys like I did with Ryder. I didn’t know it was possible to die inside when I already felt like I’d left my soul in the woods. But their faces—I’ll never forget how they looked at me, how my own stepfather could say such a thing. Ryder got pissed. I didn’t even know he was carrying me or that I was crying until he put me in his car and took me to my house to pack my stuff.

  “When he packed, I went to my bathroom. I looked in the mirror, felt nothing, and took everything in my medicine cabinet. I never felt the pills go down. I didn’t gag. I took everything, and then I went to my brothers’ bathroom, and I took all the pills and bottles of medicine they had too.”

  Kylie stared at her, her mouth open as she watched Janie stare across the room like she was seeing it all happen again.

  “He didn’t know I’d done it,” Janie said softly. “He’d been arguing with my brothers, so when he took me to his house, I was already slipping away. He put me on his bed to rest while he set up a room for me, and I fell asleep. I don’t know for how long, maybe an hour, but something woke me. I could barely move, but for once, there was no pain. I pushed through the drugs in my system until I stumbled into his bathroom. Then I took everything he had.

  “I couldn’t stand anymore. I just lay on the floor and closed my eyes. There was light. Just light . . . Then he was there.” She rubbed a spot on her chest, below her heart and to the side. “I thought he was an angel. He was shouting at me, but he was so beautiful. I told him I loved him, that I was so sorry for not telling him sooner.”

  The girl smiled sadly and continued, “It’s all blurry in my memories, but I know he carried me to his car and that Archer drove while Ryder tried to make me throw up. I think I did throw up on him and Tercero, but they kept trying to make me puke more.

  “And Ryder, he told me he loved me more than anything. I thought I was already dead because that was the greatest thing I could ask for. Someone still loved a disgusting monster like me, and he was begging for me to fight—to stay with him. I realized he believed me. He didn’t doubt anything I’d said. Everything I’d done to him—blamed him for—he let me do it because he loved me.

  “So, when it got too dark, I listened to the voice that said, ‘grab his hand.’ I held it as he prayed; I listened to his brothers shouting at doctors to help. I stared at emerald fire, and I let it engulf me when he said, ‘Live, Sweet Jane’.” She grinned. “It’s a legend with our families.”

  Her smile grew brighter. “I knew God sent him for me, and I just let go and grabbed hold of him. He holds me every chance he gets and reminds me it’s not time to go, that he won’t let me die. No matter how many times those thoughts come, he just holds me tighter, tells me ‘not yet,’ and I stay.”

  “I’m—“ Kylie didn’t know what to do as Janie let out a pitiful cry. She didn’t know if she felt sorry for her or if she believed everything. It was strange that the girl would spill such personal stuff to her, but something tugged at her gut when Janie spoke. Like a pull that guided her to comfort her enemy. “I’m sorry this happened to you,” Kylie said, surprising herself. “I—you’re so. Oh, gosh.” She couldn’t think of anything to say. If Janie knew everything she’d just screamed at Logan about her, she’d probably get her ass beaten by Ryder. No wonder the asshole was so violent. “I feel kinda bad, I think,” she muttered. “I hated you so much.”

  Janie chuckled through her sniffling. “I knew you and Logan fought because of me. I just didn’t know it would be so bad. I thought he was smarter than this.”

  “We don’t have to talk about me,” Kylie rushed, her chest tightening as panic seized her. “I didn’t mean to say I hated you.”

  “Oh, hush.” Janie waved her hand through the air. “It’s totally fine to not like me. Really, who likes the thought of their boyfriend’s ex?” She gave her a teary smile. “I would totally hate me, too, if I were you. I’d lose my shit if Ryder had an ex that he talked to. Seriously, if roles were reversed, I would’ve probably punched you in the boob.”

  “What?”

  Janie giggled until Kylie laughed with her. “Boob punches. They hurt. I would have punched you so hard.”

  Kylie watched Janie stare at nothing. It was hard to push down her hatred for her, but she saw something in Janie that Logan must have. Janie had already been through so much, and he was just trying to help the girl he lost. It would be sweet if she wasn’t the other girl in his life. He was so protective of Janie but not her. How did Ryder deal with it all?

  “Logan wants me to be like you,” Kylie blurted.

  Janie sighed, looking older than her eighteen years. “No, he doesn’t. Trust me. A part of Logan really hates me. I wish that were easy to understand, but this is us—there’s no letting go of the other. But you, he doesn’t want to see you destroy yourself like I did. He’s just being stupid because that’s what boys do. They don’t know what to do, so they take it out on us.

  “Right now,” she continued, “I guarantee he’s hating himself for walking away. The boy is cocky as all hell, but he’s insecure when it comes to believing he’s a good guy. I bet it’s hard for him to see someone stronger than me struggling and refusing him.”

  “I’m not stronger,” Kylie argued.

  “You are.” Janie dropped her eyes to a tattoo of a half-moon on her wrist. “But you can fall just like I did. He thinks you need him the way I needed Ryder. You aren’t like me, Kylie—I see it. And you don’t have to be. I pray no one’s ever like me.

  “I got lucky. I needed someone to pull me back because I leaned too far over the edge. I went so far, I slipped until a hand grabbed mine. I doubted what I meant to my family and friends. I sat in the dark room in my mind and listened to those terrible words. I believed them and let them destroy me. I became that monster—the one who hurt them.

  Janie shook her head. “Don’t be like me. If you need a hand, grab the one Logan’s holding out for you. But be honest; let him see the real Kylie. The game you tried, that’s only going to make things worse.”

  “He told you about the plan with Trevor?” Kylie wanted to be furious, but she was still stuck in a place where she felt almost numb to her anger.

  “Yeah.” She patted her leg. “Don’t beat yourself up. Hell, it would be one of those teen-romance stories they turn into movies, but try to focus on the moment you decided to be honest with him instead. How amazing was that? I bet it was better than any cliché story I’ve ever read.”

  Kylie remembered the sports store, then their time at his apartment.

  Janie laughed, pointing to her cheeks. “Naughty Kylie Hood.”

  She covered her cheeks. “How do you know something naughty happened?”

  “’Cause this is Logan Grimm we’re discussing.” Janie chuckled, rubbing under her eyes. “Isn’t it so fun to start learning about each other? Like all relationships in the beginning are so addicting. I still daydream about Ryder with me—after the bad stuff . . . Just be careful. You don’t want to ruin it by learning a few months later that all the important stuff was a lie. Like Ryder and I had so much bad shit, but if we’d hidden things, it might’ve all fallen apart. I can’t imagine not having him.” She shook her head. “So even though you hate me, listen to me.”

  Kylie looked down at her lap, ignoring the pain pulsing in her head.

  “Above all,” Janie said, “remember the boy doesn’t fix you. A lot of guys struggle with that. Even Ryder does sometimes.”

  “I can’t believe we’re having this conversation,” Kylie said, looking around the room. It felt strange to see it lit up. She’d felt like she was in a dark cave this whole time. “I mean, we just fought about you, and I want
ed to claw your eyes out.”

  “Well, I’ll let you get a few hits in, but my peepers are my money maker.” Janie giggled. “They’re really all I have going for me besides Ryder and my car.”

  “I don’t think the guys who like you are interested in Ryder or your car.”

  “Oh, I know.” Janie flashed her a cheeky grin. “It’s a secret though.”

  She frowned. “It’s a secret why guys like you?”

  “Oh,” Janie said, frowning before smiling again, “they don’t all like me. But there’s an actual reason why so many are drawn to me. It’s like magic.”

  Conceited, but okay, Kylie thought. She started to stand as Janie got up. “I’m sure it’s just guys think you’re beautiful. I know Logan thinks you are.”

  Janie held out a hand. “He definitely thinks that about you.” She walked to a cabinet. “And who cares if a few guys think about my looks? It’s not like it’s anyone’s business what someone thinks about another person, and it’s not a crime to be beautiful.”

  Kylie had never looked at it that way. Pretty girls were envied by other girls, and that somehow made them villains when they had admirers.

  Janie went to her locker and dug around. “I’m suiting up.”

  “Suiting up?”

  She held up a Superman shirt. “Logan is a Batman fan. I’m Team Superman. He’ll understand I’m trying to be something he wanted me to be. It’s private.”

  “I guess you have a lot of private things with him. I don’t know anything about him.” Kylie stared at the shirt she was holding, the swirl of doubt trying to gain strength with that confession. “He knows everything about you. And you know him.”

  “Well, yeah—we grew up together.” Janie shrugged. “But he wants to know you. He wants to discover every little secret there is inside your head.”

  “Really?” She looked up as Janie pulled on the tank top and started braiding her hair on each side of her head.

  “Yep.” Janie winked. “Just give him a nice peep show. He doesn’t need to know everything. And remember to be patient—these things take time. Now clean your face up. We have to go show that boy he doesn’t just walk away when his girl is crying. I swear boys never learn. Don’t they get that every time we say we need to be alone, we want them to stay? And when we run, we want to be chased?”

  Kylie smiled and took off her shirt to replace it with the red pullover Janie had bought. “Thanks for the clothes. I’ll pay you back.”

  Janie smiled sadly at her. Her gaze had lingered on the marks across her stomach. “You’re welcome, Kylie. And don’t worry about paying me back. I used Ryder’s money.”

  Kylie chuckled, wiping away more of her tears. “I don’t know if that’s good or bad. He might end up shaking me upside down, asking for his money.”

  The girl’s face flushed. “If he says anything, I’ll just distract him with a blow job.”

  “What?” Kylie covered her mouth.

  “He’s actually more of a pervert than Logan.” She covered her red cheeks.

  Kylie rubbed her arm as she pushed away the image of Janie doing that with Ryder. “I didn’t tell Logan to leave me alone, though. He left on his own. I really think he broke up with me.”

  Janie sighed and walked over to her. “Whatever happened, he just panicked. He would’ve kicked you out if he was breaking up with you.

  “He’s trying to help, and if he can’t figure out how to, he blows up. It’s how he is. It’s how a lot of guys are, actually. It’s like watching them put together the most complicated piece of furniture. They have the instructions if they just sit down and read them—talk to you—but they try to wing it. And when it doesn’t work, they yell and throw you away.

  “Logan just tried to fix you without your instructions. All he saw was me put back together. He remembers what it took to get me here—mostly just Ryder being there to hold me together. So Logan’s panicking because, with me, he only knew his mistakes after it was too late. With you, he’s rushing to pick you up, but you’re still in pieces. He’s trying to hold them, but his hands are full.

  “You both need to step back and learn to communicate. Just get to know each other, because you really don’t know anything about him or our world. It isn’t just me and him. There’s a lot more to us.”

  “Like?” Kylie didn’t understand why they all kept making it seem as if they were superheroes with secret identities. Or spies. Maybe Ryder was a mafia boss.

  “I don’t think you’re ready for that,” Janie said a little cautiously. “I’m just saying that getting to know the man Logan is, and showing him who you are, is really what you need to focus on right now. Things could work out, but”—she clicked her tongue—“you might inflict some permanent damage on each other if you’re not careful. Plus, you have your own shit to cope with. I think your sister has serious problems, and her having a knife on her is pretty messed up. It wasn’t a kitchen knife.”

  “What do you mean?” Kylie had forgotten all about Maura.

  “It was a combat knife,” Janie said. “It was dirty, like it’d been in the ground, but it wasn’t a regular ole knife.”

  Kylie swallowed, remembering Janie had chosen to come between her and the girls that day. “I guess I sorta forgot you put yourself in danger.”

  “Oh.” Janie stared at her, like she was waiting for her to say more. When she didn’t, Janie smiled. “Well, you’re welcome.”

  There, Kylie thought; she had made some effort to be pleasant. She still felt pathetic regarding Logan though. “How do I fix this with him? He wants me to just trust all of you, and I’m not used to it. I’m definitely not used to how mean Ryder is. Then I feel so ugly for Logan, and he wants me to go out there where everyone can laugh at me.”

  “First, Ryder’s not really nice to anyone but me—don’t let it stress you out. And you’re not ugly. No one’s gonna laugh at you either—not when they know we’re behind you.” Janie really took her in. “Stop worrying about what Logan wants from you. Don’t get better for him. You build yourself, Kylie Hood. Otherwise, you’ll fall apart when you really need to stand on your own. But if you want that boy to use his toolbox on you”—she wiggled her eyebrows—“you need to point him in the right direction. Show him the steps he needs to take.”

  “You sound like that alien—the green guy.” Kylie covered her mouth, mumbling, “I’m sorry. I just meant you sound wise, but you’re so young.”

  “Quit apologizing. Now, hurry up, my young Padawan. Your boy Grimm we must get.”

  “Huh?”

  Janie rolled her eyes. “You’re going to go fight for your boy. It’s time to show him who Kylie Hood is.”

  She rubbed her temples. “I can’t fight now. I mean, I can try, but I’ll look like an idiot.”

  “Do or do not. There is no try.” Janie pushed her to the door. “Just come on. You’re going to show him he can’t walk out like this. He needs to sit down and read your manual, or you’re going to smack him over the head with it.”

  “But he thinks I need to be like you.” And I still kinda don’t want to be around you yet, she silently added.

  “There’s only one Janie Mortaime, doll face.” Janie winked. “But you don’t want to be that crazy bitch anyway. And that’s my point—learn from my failures. I’m like Anakin Skywalker. You be Luke, okay? No dark side for you. Trust me—that’s my kingdom.” Janie fluffed Kylie’s hair and wiped under her eyes. “Who are you?”

  Kylie didn’t know if Janie had lost it or what. “Kylie Hood?”

  “No, no, no. You’re Kylie fucking Hood.” She lightly poked her chest. “Bring that hoe out here. I heard she was checking out my boyfriend.”

  Kylie’s eyes widened; she totally had checked Ryder out. “I wasn’t.”

  Janie snickered. “Don’t worry. I drool over him, too. I just want to see the girl who poured her heart out in the middle of a sports store and caught herself the sexy Logan Grimm. Guts, girly. I have a feeling you’re not the shy girl
everyone thinks you are. That’s okay. You got huge balls. It’s time to smack Logan in the head with them, ’cause you’re about to show him yours are bigger than his.”

  Kylie laughed nervously as they walked down the hall together. There was a strange connection forming between them. She didn’t like how it felt. It was like Janie really did have some ability to draw everyone to her, and it only frustrated Kylie to feel it happening to her.

  But maybe it wasn’t so bad. Maybe she could figure out some way to navigate the unorthodox relationship Logan had with his ex. She didn’t have to like her. And really, how involved would Janie be in Logan’s life now that she was there?

  Twenty-Four

  BROMANCE

  “Get the fuck off me,” Logan said calmly. He wouldn’t make a bigger fool out of himself than he already had. It was pure surprise on his part that allowed Ryder to get the drop on him so easily. If he hadn’t turned his back on the bastard to stop Janie from going and pissing Kylie off even more, he’d have never gotten forced flat on his stomach with his arm wrenched behind his back and his ex-girlfriend’s huge-ass boyfriend sitting on him.

  Ryder chuckled, adding more of his weight. “You’re surprisingly comfy, Grimm. Just like Kylie looked comfy sitting in my car. You know every fucking woman can’t resist me. And your little blonde—she stares all the fucking time.”

  “Whatever, asshole,” Logan said, smirking even if what he was about to say could get him killed. He just couldn’t help himself. “You know where Janie used to be more than comfortable.”

  “Enough talking about my sister and girls in general, all right?” said Gareth, one of Janie’s eleven brothers. “Come on, Logan. You can get out of this.”