The Connect Who Took My Heart Away 3

by Coco Shawndé

  “You know I got yo back.” Basi assured. Than his attention went to the time on his phone. “Fuck, the time. These practice times be coming quick as fuck.”

  “Who you telling...Dice just promised Duchess she can do gymnastics. I need more hours in the day.” I sighed.

  “Straight up, dawg.” he replied. “You out of hurr?”

  “Yeah. I was only supposed to stop by Tyrah’s.” I said, shaking my head at how that went.

  “Why you looking like that? What sis on?” he asked, knowing how Tyrah always been cool.

  “Her position at the company she was at, closed down. Leaving her unemployed. She reached out, and you know I ain’t going to have her struggling with my son. I provided for him, and she do too. With her losing her job, I didn’t want my son-”

  “That ain’t shit to explain. I know what you saying. You gotta make sure Yosohn straight.” he said understandably. “But what’s the problem? Dice?”

  “You know...Dice ain’t been tripping. I laid down the rules with Tyrah, so Dice wouldn’t be uncomfortable. I know the picture didn’t look good with me and Tyrah being so cool with one another. Instead of forcing Dice to accept something she didn’t agree with, I made the changes. She been cool...Tyrah though, it’s like she jealous or some shit. Crazy thing is, I don’t even remember being in her pussy. As many times as I bust her ass down, I don’t be wanting to dip back. She been giving them signs though…”

  “Signs like she want to fuck?” He asked, not cutting no corners.

  “Yeah!”

  “Oh, she fucking with Dice on that. She know better.” Basi said shaking his head.

  “I know it, and it be pissing me off. If Dice finds out she even throwing herself at me, it’s going to be problems. I gotta sleep next to Dice at night. She ain’t about to take my head off, and I ain’t did shit.”

  “Mane, Dice might be ‘bout that life, but she ain’t that crazy.” He chuckled. “She shot Litto, and you been scared of her ass since.”

  “Mane, she ain’t to be fucked with.” I said straight up.

  “Aye, all jokes aside. Dice yo woman, so your business is to keep her informed and happy.”

  “Don’t I know it.” I answered right back.

  We cut ways, and I went back to handle some business at the office. Obasi ended up picking the boys up for football practice. I thought I would be able to pick them up, but work didn’t work like that. I was leaving, and daylight was gone.

  It was nightfall, and even though I didn’t say I would be gone this long of a time, Dice wasn’t tripping. It made the incident with Tyrah even more uncomfortable. To know Dice trusted me going to my baby momma crib earlier, and Tyrah´s goofy ass tried it on me.

  “You put them kids to sleep I see.” I said, pulling my shirt off.

  “Yeah, they were tired after practice.” she answered, hugging the pillow. Her juicy ass cheeks were peeking out of her shorts, and I went to grab a handful.

  “You next to get put to sleep.” I said, biting her ass, making her laugh. “Bring yo ass hurr.”

  6

  Hilary

  Pulling up outside a huge mansion, I was hesitant on getting out of the car. Me and Dice stayed in contact after I reached out to her. I knew I had to go the extra mile if I ever wanted to be able to mend things with my son, and have a relationship with Duchess. In order for me to even be able to get close to my daughter, I had to go through Hosea since he was her sole caretaker.

  It was so much I was dealing with, and trying to save at the same time. I had Vernell trying to cross into the U.S territories because he felt he needed to be with me. I knew a part of him simply didn’t trust me. He had great reason not to, but was it really worth it to be on the run here? I knew meeting his possible children was important to him, but it was a way to do everything.

  When my phone began to ring, I picked up seeing Dice´s number. If it wasn’t for her even hearing me out when I first reached out, I wouldn't have gotten this far. “Hey, Dice. I’m here.”

  “You can go inside. We’ll be in route soon...Hosea never takes this long to get dressed. I don’t know why he is today.” she said, and I swallowed hard.

  “Do you think he knows? Do you think this is a good idea?” I replied, knowing she knew him better than I.

  “He doesn’t know. At this point, I don’t know what else I can do. I just feel he should know everything. Maybe that would open him up to a relationship in the future. I don’t know how he’s going to react, but running from it is only hurting him.” she told me.

  “I agree...I hope he stays long enough for me to say what I need to.” I sighed, knowing everything laid in his power. If I was going to ever see Duchess and having a relationship with the both of them, he controlled it. If he refused, I didn’t know what else to do. I never wanted to give up on my kids, but he was making me feel as if their lives were better off with me not in them.

  “Me too...I have to go. We’ll be there soon.” she said, and the line hung up. Resting my head back, I took my time getting out of the car.

  Finally getting out, I was let into the home by a house maid. I was escorted to the dining room, where the plate setting was being done by the other house keepers. With my palms sweating, I anticipated my son coming through the front door, and seeing me.

  “Do you need anything, Mrs. Juelz?”

  “No. I’m fine.” I said lifting my head up. Soon as I was back alone, Vernell was calling.

  “Yes?” I answered.

  “I feel fucked up that I’m not there.” he said right away. “I want to be there for my kids. This shit hard.” He gave no formal greeting, and got to the root of his call. I knew right away he was under stress, and he was used to mapping his moves out. Dealing with the Hosea situation, he wasn’t able to do so.

  “Can you let me handle this side of things? Hosea hasn’t even spoke to me. I have something going right now, but I don’t know how promising the turn out is.” I pleaded.

  I had no room to argue with Vernell about how he needed to stay on his side due to him not being wanted in the United States. Him coming here, that was going to be a whole other issue on its own, and another worry. His intentions were good, but not smart. After settling him down, so he didn’t come rushing here with the Zoe’s with him, I let him know I was closer to bringing Hosea and Duchess to the D.R.

  After an hour passed, I received a text that Dice was outside. My heart was thumping out of my chest waiting to hear the door open. When it did, I felt like my heart was out of my body. I could hear Hosea´s remarks on why they were here, and how long they would be since he was hungry.

  “Bae...I have someone hurr.” she said, then she came around the corner, holding his hand. Hosea stopped in his tracks, and his face grew into a mug.

  “I’m gone.” Hosea said, yanking back from Dice.

  “Hosea!” Dice called after him. “Where you going with no car?” she said, and she had the keys with her.

  “I told you to leave the shit alone. You don’t fucking listen!” he yelled at her, and I felt like I needed to stand up. Hosea stormed out of the house, and Dice had a look of defeat.

  “Stay inside.” I told her. “I’ll go talk to him. Even if he doesn't talk. I just need to say what I have to say.”

  “I’m sorry, Hilary. I really tried.” she said on the verge of crying. I appreciated her more than she knew. We talked plenty about how we could make this work. She picked the location and the fact that she drove her car in order to assure Hosea couldn’t leave.

  By the time I was racing out the door, Hosea was storming down the driveway. I legit had to run after him. When I caught up to him, I had no time to catch my breath. I knew this brief moment was all I had. Blocking his view, I moved in every direction he tried to go in to avoid me.

  “Hate me. I’m telling you, you can hate me, son...but listen to me, Hosea!” I said tearing up that the child I birthed could be so done with me. “I was wrong. I’m sorry. When I was put into the Juelz fa
mily, acceptance never came. My life revolved around Moss and what he had going. I had no identity. His family was constantly putting me down. My family was done with me once I ran off with him. I gave my family up to be in one that hated my ass. I got so depressed, and wanting your father to take up for his wife. I began to get my own justice in my own way. I started using. I wanted an escape as well, so I went to drugs and alcohol. I stepped out of my marriage and all to feel like something. Was it right? No! But I didn’t know no better. I didn’t know I would be chasing after the same son that I gave up on.”

  “When I overdosed in Jamaica, I briefly woke up in a facility months later .They kept me sedated so Duchess could survive, but I´d be asleep like Moss wanted. I was already dead to the world by the time I woke up and didn’t know how I could erase what he made into reality. The staff had given me the wrong meds, so I was awake, unlike what Moss wanted. It wasn’t enough time to leave, and I was so doped up, I couldn’t do a thing in that bed. No even cry out my sorrows. Moss ordered for me to stay sedated after I had a violent episode calming down from the wrong medications. I didn’t know they would silence me for this long. I soon found out that the mental institute where I woke up, I would be living in until recently! A place of hell that I became stuck in for five taunting years!! Moss wrote me off as dead because I had put out such a bad image, his family wanted him to give up his share. When money is added in the mix, people get desperate.”

  “Divorcing me, they all knew couldn’t happen. I would own all they shit in the end, so the next option was to write me off as dead. Moss´ family knew where I was, and planned this right along with your father. It was either my drug addict ass...or you, son. He knew if I kept on, I would destroy the Juelz Family. Then, what would be left to you? Nothing, Hosea.”

  “You see, everything happened so their lives wouldn’t be exposed. So, I was simply written off as dead, and when I was able to leave, it was almost like I was in a new world. I woke up thinking months had just passed for them to cut Duchess from me. Then, I found out five damn years went by...I’m sorry. I wasn’t a mother then, but I want to be here now. I want to try to be a mother to you and your sister. I know what it feels like to be dead to you, and I can’t stand it. I miss you...I want you and Duchess to be a part of my life. I need my kids.” I cried.

  “Hosea...can you just come inside...sit down and hear it all?” Dice asked him. She had made her way out here, and I was glad.

  Hosea spoke no words, but he walked back inside. I took a seat at the dining table. Dice was still getting Hosea to come to the dining area where I set. I didn’t rush him, I just waited. Eventually, he did walk back in. Seeing him red eyed, head hanging, that wasn’t him. I hated that this was the process, but we had to get through all of this to build a relationship. I missed my son when I didn’t know a damn thing about him. I just knew I wanted to be here for him and be a part of his life.

  “Why didn’t they kill you?” he asked in an ice cold stare. “Because doing that, I would still be his wife. In my will, my share of the company goes to you. Your father didn’t want it going to you.” I admitted, knowing he had no clue.

  “What you mean? I have papers to one of the top casino locations.” he defended.

  “Baby, you don’t. You don’t because Moss may not be your father, and he wasn’t giving you anything with that great of a possibility.”

  “So, you telling me Moss may not be my father?”

  “Yes.” I answered, holding my head through it all. “Duchess may not be either. I’m not just here on my behalf. Vernell’s as well. He wanted to be here, but he’s no longer able to crossover in the U.S territory. When I left the facility, he welcomed me with open arms. I told him everything because the past lies that I fed him, it wasn’t worth it anymore.” I confessed.

  “Sound like you were worried about hopping on some old dick, instead of getting with yo kids.” he said, not wavering from his mug.

  “Vernell is the reason I was able to come here.” I clarified. “If it wasn’t for him, I don’t know how long it would have taken for me to afford to fly here to find you.”

  “A’ight...you said what you had to.” Hosea said, standing up. “Let’s go, Dice.”

  Standing up, I was feeling regret and sadness. I guess a part of me thought I would have been embraced by him once the truth was told.

  “Okay, bae.” she replied, and I gave her a smile. I knew she was dealing with a lot by dealing with my son. For that, I was loving her for him.

  “Son…” I called out to him. “Right now, you may not be ready. But Duchess…” Taking a deep sigh, I could tell from his face that he wasn’t allowing me to meet my own child.

  “That’s my daughter.” He said pointing at his broad chest.

  “What you are feeling, that anger...give it back to me and Moss. We did this. Not you.” I said, seeing how badly he was broken down. In this moment, I just wanted the best for him.

  “Yeah, but I can’t forget or forgive this shit. I may have been a grown ass man when you overdosed, but you had already showed me the mother you were when I was growing up. I always still respected you...Now, I don’t know how I could even look at you as a mother. Duchess needed you. I needed you. But you left.”

  “Take your time. I’ll be in town a little longer. I want you to have and know the truth. If it’s any questions you want, I’ll give you what you want. The DNA test, just say the word. It’s done.”

  From my parting words, nothing else was said. Hosea didn’t say he didn’t want the test, but he didn’t say he was all in. I just had to have faith that I would be able to build something with my two children. At this point, I did everything I could. Hosea would have to forgive me in his own time, and I couldn’t rush him to it.

  After leaving, I was ready to come face to face with Moss. I knew that man like no other woman could. I knew he had been keeping a low profile. Just not a low enough one for a man of his caliber. Sure enough, I was able to catch up with him at this gambling spot on the southside. It wasn’t nothing but a hole in the wall, but it had been around so long, everybody would gravitate to it. The crowd was a mixed one, which welcomed a heavy crowd of diversity. Making my way in, I got added on the poker table with Moss.

  At first, he was all into his hand to see me. When I spoke to the dealer, he instantly had his eyes trained on me. Not bothering to look his way, I kept my composure. All night, Moss had to watch me from across the table. When I was excusing myself, I knew he would follow. Follow right into his death trap. Walking out into the back alley of the gambling hall, Moss was staring at me up close now.

  “Stop acting like you seeing a ghost.” I giggled. “You remember me? The wife you put to death.” I smirked.

  “I didn’t put you in that place to die.” he said through clenched teeth.

  “Oh, was it a five-year vacation? The destination being a fucking nut house!” I angrily screamed out. No one would understand being in that environment alone would have you nutting up. Crazy or not, it surely would make you feel like you needed every drug to survive.

  “It was best for everyone.” He said, as if nothing was wrong with what he did.

  “Best for you. Best for the Juelz Family.” I addressed.

  “You never understood what my family stood on. Whatever happened, it happened because of your doings.” he pointed out, not able to take an ounce of blame. “You could have cleaned up and gotten your shit together. You chose to try to kill yourself, and look at you. You failed miserably, so what do you care that I cut you out of our lives? You attempted to cut yourself out first, and just because I finished the job, you´re upset with me? Yeah, you´re fucking pathetic. Stay away from my son and my home.”

  “Or what?” I said, not holding no fear in my heart.

  “I don’t have to threaten you, Hilary. What is it that you´re back for? Tell me that? You want money? You want some type of apology??”

  “I want you to tell Hosea the truth. I don’t give a damn about you an
d the money. But my son needs the truth.” I said, on the verge of tears.

  “What truth? That you never wanted him?” he said laughing right in my face.

  “I didn’t want you.” I corrected.

  Moss charged my way, wrapping his hands around my neck. He was yelling, and the spit began to spray out of his mouth. He had become so filled with anger, his only focus was keeping his hands around my neck until I was on my last breath.

  “You tried-to ruin me.” I cried, holding onto his hands.

  “Just DIEEE!” He screamed, shaking me and pushing his fingers deeper into my throat. Looking into his darkened eyes, I began to bash my head into his until I was freed. Soon as his hands left from my neck, I pulled my gun out.

  “What you did to me was SICK! I can never get that time back or bounce back from that shit. All this time I was harboring your demons, and they almost killed me! Not anymore.” I said crying and shaking my head. “You can have that shit back. Dance with the devil.” I said, blowing his shit back.

  7

  Dice

  “Coming from a parent, not even just a father, you tend to bring your childhood experiences when you´re raising your youngins up. My childhood built the mold. For my son or Duchess, I didn’t want them to have the bad. I gave them every ounce of the good. The two of them are my keepsakes. I don’t care what the world may think. The sins I have made. My son doesn't see me in those eyes. He sees me through his and it's a great man. My son sees me as a great man.” Hosea explained, while standing at the bottom of the bed.

  This was the most words this man said in days. After setting him up to see his mother, Hosea shut himself off. I thought we were still going out to eat that day, but he let me know quickly he just wanted to take a step back. I didn’t know what that meant, and still didn’t. I knew he wouldn’t be thanking me for setting him up with his mother, but at the same time I didn’t expect to be handled in this way. He knew everything that I’ve done was out of the kindness of my heart. It was never to stress him out more, even though that was what it felt like to him.