Secret Remorse

by T N Lowe

  “No problem. Are you excited to marry Ioann?”

  “I am. We’ve been planning this day for two years. We are ready to begin our lives together.”

  “Wow, two years is a long time to plan a wedding,” I state shocked it took so long.

  “There was a lot of back and forth between our fathers arranging the marriage.”

  “Do you love Ioann?’

  “I do. While we have an arranged marriage, I have known him since we were children.”

  “That’s sweet,” I say as my phone chimes with an incoming text from Maks.

  Maks: Where are you?”

  Me: Bridal suite with Rozalina.

  Maks: Be right there.

  A few minutes later there is a quick knock on the door and Maks steps into the room. “You look amazing pchelka,” Maks says kissing me on the cheek.

  “What about me?” Rozalina whines.

  Maks turns to her with a big grin on his face, “You are the most beautiful bride I have ever seen,” he tells her.

  “You told Nika the same thing on her wedding day.”

  “Well, you are more beautiful than she was on her wedding day,” Maks says trying to placate her.

  Rozalina eyed Maks to make sure he isn’t lying she nods, “Okay I believe you.”

  “Good, because it is true,” Maks said.

  Rozalina laughs, “Until you and Shauna marry.”

  Maks laughs, “You’re right. She will be a gorgeous bride.”

  Before anyone can say anything Alla comes in declaring it is time.

  Gennadi escorts Rozalina into the church giving her to Ioann. They are each given a lit candle to hold while the priest recites scripture and says a prayer. The priest places small crowns on the heads of the couple and hands them a chalice each taking a drink before following the priest around the alter three times. Ioann and Rozalina exchange rings. Next, they are handed two crystal glasses which they throw at the wall shattering into a hundred different pieces. Everyone claps as Ioann and Rozalina kiss before walking down the aisle.

  Everyone follows Ioann and Rozalina across the street to the reception. As the guests walk into a reception hall, they toss money onto the floor. Leaning into Maks, I ask, “What are they doing?”

  “Guests are expected to help the newlywed couples by giving them money. At the end of the night, Rozalina will pick the money from the floor.”

  “Weird, why don’t they put it in an envelope and hand it to them?”

  “I have no idea, it is the tradition,” Maks tells me leading me to our table and helping me into my seat. Before Maks can sit Gennadi asks to speak to him alone. They step into a corner Maks gesturing wildly as he talks in comparison Gennadi is calm as he speaks. Maks is furious as he stomps back plopping into the seat next to me his foul mood permeating from him.

  The reception a loud affair full of food, drinks, dancing and cheers wishing Rozalina and Ioann a long happy marriage full of children. At the end of the night Rozalina cleans the money off the floor then she and Ioann leave for their honeymoon in Bora Bora.

  Chapter Eleven

  Three days later Maks and I are sitting on my couch, my feet in his lap as we eat Chinese food. “How do you feel about hockey?” Maks asks me as he takes a bite of an egg roll.

  “Never gave it much thought, I’ve always watched football. Why?”

  “A friend of mine called and asked if I would play on Sunday.”

  “Here in D.C.?”

  “Yes. I will not go if you do not want to.”

  “You play hockey?” I ask feeling stupid the second the words leave my mouth.

  “I have played since I was a child in Russia. Do you want to watch me play?”

  “You’ll have to teach me the game, but I’d love to watch you play,” I answer.

  “I can teach you. Do you skate?”

  “No. In fact, I’m scared of ice skating.”

  “Why?” Maks asks with a chuckle.

  “When I was younger, my brothers told me if you fall you have to tuck your hands, so the other skaters don’t run over your fingers and cut them off.”

  Maks chuckles, “That would make anyone leery of ice skates.”

  “It’s not funny,” I say placing my feet on the floor. “I believed Brenn and Carson, though now I know it’s not likely to happen it still scares me.”

  “I’m sorry pchelka, forgive me.”

  “Fine, you’re forgiven,” I say as Maks takes our plates into the kitchen.

  He returns and leads me upstairs, “Let me apologize properly.”

  ***

  “Shauna this is Grayson, my college roommate. Grayson this is Shauna, my girlfriend.”

  “It is nice to meet the woman who has Maks tied up in knots,” Grayson says shaking my hand.

  “It’s nice to meet you too. Maks hasn’t told me anything about you,” I say smirking at Maks.

  “Maks how dare you not tell your best girl about your best friend; I’m offended,” Grayson says to Maks placing his hand on his chest and looking wounded.

  Maks punches Grayson in the shoulder, “Oh please, look at her the last thing I think about seeing Shauna is you.”

  Grayson laughs and nods, “You did good.” Grayson turns to me, “I trust he isn’t causing you too much trouble.”

  “No, but he is a handful,” I say with a giggle.

  “Oh, the stories I could tell you,” Grayson says with a chuckle. “Maybe we should have lunch while Maks is out of town.”

  “Over my dead body, besides what would Julia think?” Maks asks.

  “I’d bring her with, she has great stories about you too,” Grayson says.

  “Whatever,” Maks mumbles. “Are we going to play or what?”

  “Let’s play,” Grayson says with a laugh. “Shauna you can sit in the stands with my wife, Julia,” Grayson points to a beautiful woman in the stands.

  “I’ll introduce you before I suit up.” Maks utters walking me into the stands.

  The blond stands as we approach and hugs Maks. “It’s been too long.”

  Maks squeezes her tight making her squeak, “It has been.” Stepping from her embrace Maks takes my hand and says, “Julia, this is my girlfriend, Shauna. Shauna this is Grayson’s poor wife, Julia.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Julia.”

  “Hey, are we going to play or what?” Grayson yells from the ice.

  “I’m coming,” Maks yells back. “Are you going to be okay?” Maks asks me.

  “Yes, go play,” I reply taking a seat next to Julia. Maks gently kisses my forehead before leaving us.

  I watch as Maks makes his way to the bench “I’m not one to beat around the bush,” Julia says interrupting my ogling. “Maks is like a brother to Grayson and me, I have to ask are you going to hurt him.”

  “Hurt him? No, I love Maks.”

  “Good. Maks deserves a good woman who will stand by his side but put him in his place when he needs it,” Julia says with a smile. “What do you know about hockey?”

  “Nothing, is it like football? Maks said he would teach me, but we got distracted,” I say with a blush.

  Julia laughs, “No, it’s nothing like football. I’ll walk you through as the guys play.”

  Julia was right, hockey is nothing like football. Maks’s team won after he got something called a hat trick. Julia explained it’s when a player scores three goals. I still do not understand hockey, but I liked watching Maks play.

  Maks steps off the ice and sits on the bench to take off his skates. Leaving Julia with a quick goodbye I join Maks on the player’s bench. “Did you like the game?” He asks with a kiss.

  “Don’t you’re all sweaty; and yes I liked the game. I didn’t understand all the plays and rules, but I liked it.”

  “Good,” Maks says kissing me again making me squeal. “I’ll shower then Grayson has invited us to lunch with Julia, okay?”

  “Sounds nice.”

  ***

  During lunch, Julia tells st
ories of Maks and Grayson from their college years. They are quite the pair of troublemakers. Grayson is regaling us with stories of his and Maks youth when Maks gets a call and excuses himself. “How did you and Maks met?”

  “A blind date, we were set up by friends,” I say

  “Oh, I bet Maks loved that,” Grayson laughs his words dripping with sarcasm.

  “Let’s say it could have gone better.”

  Julia laughs, “I can imagine, Maks is not the warm and fuzzy type.”

  Maks rejoins us a sour look on his face, “Sorry to break up the party, but we need to go.”

  “What’s wrong?” I ask standing from the table.

  “Something came up at work, and I need to get back to Philadelphia,” Maks says tossing money on the table for lunch.

  “We got lunch,” Grayson protests trying to hand Maks his money back.

  “I will not hear of it,” Maks replies. “I will see you next time I’m in town.”

  “You better, or I’ll sick Julia on you,” Grayson says with a smile.

  “You know he will,” Julia giggles.

  Taking my hand Maks we leave the restaurant and hails a cab. “Maks what’s wrong?” I ask sliding into the backseat of the cab.

  “Not here,” Maks says looking at the driver. “At home.”

  At home, Maks goes upstairs to the bedroom and packs. “Maks what is going on?”

  Maks tosses his duffel bag on the bed then steps into the closet coming out with an arm full of clothes. Tucking his clothes in the bag then sits on the bed and pats his thigh, “Come here pchelka.” I walk across the room and sit in his lap as Maks wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his chest. “My father called at lunch I have to go to Russia on Vory business.”

  “How long will you be gone?”

  “A couple of weeks maybe three.”

  “Please be careful,” I say pressing my lips to his. Maks rolls me under him moving his lips down my neck while his hands work the button and zipper of my jeans. Maks quickly stands to leave me cold, undressing quickly then removing my clothes. Maks lies next to me on the bed and pulling me on top of him, “I love you, Shauna.”

  “I love you too,” I moan.

  ***

  Curled under the sheet, I watch as Maks dresses, “Do you have to go?”

  “I do,” Maks says tugging on his sweater on.

  “I can’t tempt you to stay?”

  “Oh, you could, easily. The sooner I leave, the sooner this is done, and we can move on with our lives.”

  “Fine,” I whine tossing the covers off and pulling on my silky pink robe. “I’ll walk you to the door.”

  “Shauna it will be okay. I promise.”

  “Maks you shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep,” I shoot back.

  “Zhizn moya, don’t worry. Nothing in this world could keep me from you,” Maks says untying my robe and running his hand up my naked sides.

  I laugh swatting his hands away, “That’s why you want to marry me, for my rocking body?”

  “Don’t forget your wicked tongue,” Maks says with a chuckle. He kisses me passionately before swatting me on the ass, “Now get dressed and walk me to the car waiting for me.”

  I dress in a pair of jeans, a light blue sweater and slippers jogging downstairs to meet Maks in the entryway. Picking up his bag Maks takes my hand and leads me outside to the waiting car. “I’ll be back as soon as possible.”

  “You better Mr. Volkov,” I retort standing on my tiptoes and kissing him on the lips.

  ***

  “How’re things?” Rylie asks as I sit across from her at our favorite Chinese restaurant.

  I laugh, “How’re things? You graduated top of your class at George Town and have a job at the top law firm in the city. And you want to know what’s new in my life?”

  “I know what’s going on in my life; I want to know what’s going on in your life. Now tell me about your hot Russian.”

  “His name is Maks; he works at the Philadelphia Natural history museum as a curator.”

  “A curator? Lena told me he was Vory?”

  “He is, the Pakhan’s son. He told me they have adapted, following in The Families footsteps, and blending in.”

  “You are smitten, aren’t you?” Rylie says studying my face.

  “I’m way past smitten, I’m head over heels in love with Maks. He’s already spoken to Patrick and my dad about marrying me.”

  “Wow. I’m so happy for you,” Rylie gushes.

  “Okay enough about me. Tell me everything new and exciting in your life.”

  “There’s nothing to tell, after graduation I started working at Liam’s law firm, all of which I’m sure mom told you. ”

  “No men in your life?”

  Rylie laughs, “Between law school and now work, I don’t have time for a needy, whiney man.”

  “Oh Rylie, a man is going to come into your life and turn it upside down,” I say laughing.

  “Whatever,” Rylie answers. “Let’s eat our lunch so you can get back to work before Uncle Kagen has a fit.”

  I dissolve into giggles, “Oh my god you should have seen him yesterday. His new assistant spilled coffee on his brand new Brioni suit; I swear he was going to cry. Kegan is now looking for another new assistant. You can guess I am in no rush to get back to work.”

  “I bet. Do you remember when Kegan was left to watch all of us and Sofia and Tito talked us into painting the walls?”

  “Yes, we used Kegan’s suit jackets as smocks.”

  Rylie and I start laughing remembering. “Kegan looked like he was going to have a coronary. Thank god Giovanni and CJ came to our rescue,” Rylie recalls.

  “Oh, I forgot to tell you Dylan is getting married.”

  “Why didn’t you lead with that?” I ask dumbfounded my serial bachelor cousin is getting married.

  “Sorry, it slipped my mind. Anyway, his uncle and Patrick created an alliance with the Turkish family they were at war with.”

  “Wow, have you met her?”

  “Dylan brought her home last weekend. She seems nice, quiet but nice. Her name is Asya.”

  “Is Asya moving here or is Dylan moving back to Greece?”

  “She will move here after they are married. If you thought the Russians were strict with their rules and traditions, you should see the Turkish.”

  “I can’t wait to meet her. When’s the wedding?”

  “Dylan’s uncle wants it as soon as possible, but Dylan and Patrick want to wait, make sure they are a good fit before they get married.”

  “Going through the armament myself I would agree, waiting is a good idea.”

  “I’ll let Dylan know, he’ll be ecstatic to hear he is right.”

  “Oh God, don’t tell him, we’ll never hear the end of it,” I say with a laugh.

  Rylie and I finish our lunch laughing and catching up on all the things we have missed. After a hug goodbye and a promise to meet soon we part ways.

  ***

  What started as a two weeks has now turned into a month. “Maks, when are you coming home?” I pout.

  “Soon I promise.”

  “You said the same thing last week. Thanksgiving is two weeks away are you going to make it? Your family is flying in to spend it with us.”

  “Do not worry pchelka I will be there with time to spare,” Maks says trying to calm me.

  “God, I miss you, honey. This has been the longest month of my life,” I say as someone knocks on my office door. Looking up, I see David standing beside Sarah.

  “I miss you too. Have a good day,” Maks says as I wave David in.

  “I love you Maks.”

  “Love you too Shauna,” Maks replies ending the call.

  Setting my cell down I ask, “What can I do for you David?”

  “I was in town on business and wanted to say hi and see how you are while Maks is in Russia.”

  “How nice of you. I’m doing okay, I miss him like crazy,” I answer.

&nb
sp; “Good. I also have a favor to ask you,” David says with a smile.

  “What can I do for you?” I repeat my earlier words.

  “I’m having problems with our order site,” David says. “I was hoping you can look at it.”

  “I can try.”

  David sets his laptop on my desk, and types in a password then turns it, so I see the screen. Typing more, an I2P market place fills the screen. “The site has a virus or something. We have had no traffic for more than twelve hours.”

  “I’m not familiar with this platform, but I can look,” I say pulling the laptop closer. The market is in Russian, good thing I bought Rosetta Stone to learn Russian. Clicking through the message boards to practice what I’ve been learning and find a message from Gennadi to Maks.

  Gennadi demands an update on his project. Maks replies the prize is too heavily guarded to get close to. Gennadi tells him to try harder or extreme measures will have to be taken. The last message was sent the day Maks left for Russia.

  What the hell is going on?

  Exiting the message board, I return to looking for the cause of the lack of traffic. Pressing the control and U buttons the website’s source code appears. Scrolling through the code, everything looks in order until I find a browser hijacking virus embedded in the site. “It looks like someone is redirecting your traffic to another site.”

  “What site is it redirecting to and can you remove it?” David asks.

  “Let me look,” I say typing. “It looks like it is redirecting users to an Armenian dealer’s site.” Typing some more I remove the browser hijacking virus from the code. “It’s removed. I’m surprised you couldn’t do this yourself.”

  “You caught me. I had an ulterior motive,” David says shyly slipping his laptop into its bag. “I wanted to talk to you about Gennadi.”

  “Why?” I ask wondering if this has anything to do with the messages I read.

  “I’m not privy to all of Gennadi’s plans, but he is up to something involving your family. Be careful while he’s here for Thanksgiving,” David says before standing and leaving my office.

  ***

  Two days ago Maks called saying he’ll be on the first flight home. Now I’m standing at Dulles airport waiting for his flight bouncing on the balls of my feet waiting. Twenty minutes after he lands Maks walks through the restricted area, I push past the other people waiting and jump into his open arms. Maks holds me tight slamming his lips to mine as I wrap my legs around my waist. “God, I missed you,” Maks whispers against my lips.