Worth Waiting For

by Burrows, Jax

  ‘Thanks. You can never have too many tea-towels.’

  ‘Casey told me you were moving in with him, in his new house. I wanted to get you something for the kitchen. I haven’t got much money, or I would have got you something better. I’m still looking for a job.’

  Casey. So, they were on first name terms now and Casey was telling her his private business. She wasn’t sure what to think about that.

  ‘No, they’re great. It’s what you said about moving in with Casey. It isn’t definite, you know.’

  ‘Really? That’s a shame. He wanted to know what I thought about it. I told him to go for it. I think you two are perfect for each other.’ Lexi didn’t know what to say so she said nothing. ‘Anyway, I’ve got to go. My turn to cook the tea tonight so I need to do some shopping.’

  ‘Well, it’s lovely to see you again, Shelley, and thanks for the presents. I’ll come and see you again soon.’

  ‘Cool. Bye Lexi.’

  Lexi watched as Shelley walked out of A&E with her head held high. What a transformation. It was good to see. She’d buy her something nice for Christmas and take it round next week. Maybe she’d make up a hamper of food for the women, full of Christmas goodies. She hadn’t forgotten the pledge she had made to herself to help the cause of battered women. She needed to talk to Casey’s father first.

  Casey. It had surprised her that he’d asked Shelley’s advice. Apart from his immediate family, she couldn’t imagine Casey asking anyone’s advice. After Shelley telling him to go for it, was her rejection of his idea more hurtful? Maybe they needed to talk so she could try to see it from his point of view. Not that it would change her decision. She could never live with a man who didn’t love her.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Casey had never seen Jade in such a state of excitement. From the minute he’d arrived at the cottage to collect his girls, Jade had squealed and shouted, jumping about and bumping into furniture. Lexi had told him she’d been like that from the moment she’d got out of bed. She’d hardly eaten any breakfast and had to be told to calm down umpteen times to no avail. Jess and Craig would be glad to see the back of them for the day, so they could enjoy their Saturday in peace.

  She looked lovely in her Sleeping Beauty dress with her blonde hair shining and her eyes bright. Casey adored his little daughter and wanted to make her happy. His first Christmas as a dad and Jade’s first pantomime. It was perfect. He still had a mammoth task on his hands; to win round her mother.

  He had hoped to have the chance to talk to Lexi on the drive to Manchester City Centre. He needed to clear the air and to apologise for his thoughtlessness. Of course she would want a say in choosing a home for the three of them, any woman would. But he was impetuous and, having made the decision to ask her to move in with him, he wanted to have a house ready for her to move into, fully furnished and looking its best. He hadn’t anticipated being caught in a lie and having to show her the shell of a house, in the dark. No wonder she hadn’t been impressed.

  Riordan had tut-tutted and shaken his head when he’d confided in him. Not only had he ignored his advice to back off and give Lexi space, he’d gone all out and backed the poor girl into a corner. He deserved everything he got. Playing the caveman was not the way to behave if he wanted to win her trust.

  Maybe a pleasant family day at the pantomime would go some way to making amends.

  ‘Are we there yet?’ Jade’s voice from the child car seat in the back made him laugh.

  ‘No, darling, we haven’t left Leytonsfield yet.’

  ‘Can I have an ice-cream?’

  ‘Yes, at the interval, we can all have an ice-cream.’

  ‘Yay!’

  Casey glanced at Lexi. She was dressed in a casual but smart shirt in pink and grey check over tight black boot-leg jeans and grey suede ankle boots. Her hair, like Jade’s, was loose and flowing, healthy and shiny with a slight hint of coconut shampoo that he caught a whiff of whenever she turned her head.

  Lexi was gorgeous and he loved her. He wanted her. Not just sexually, although the thought of how long it had been since they’d made love was driving him nuts. No, he wanted her in his life forever. He wanted to marry her. The thought of not having her by his side permanently was unthinkable. The memory of Helen’s betrayal was already fading, to be replaced by the truth and honesty of his love for Lexi. It was time he found some way to tell her how he felt.

  As he drove up the slip road onto the motorway, he thought of all the things he loved about the woman sitting next to him quietly watching the scenery go by. She wasn’t a chatterer, but when she spoke it was always worth listening to. She’d grown in the last few months becoming a more confident person. She was braver now, sassier, funnier and she stood up to him, told him exactly what she thought. He needed that. A woman who was straight with him and wasn’t afraid to put him in his place. He had tremendous respect for her.

  Then he thought about Helen. He had always considered her to be a professional, competent, intelligent woman who knew what she wanted from life. Recent events had shown him that, inside, Helen was an extremely damaged young woman. She had become vulnerable so easily it had shocked him. Regretting the abortion had sent her over the edge. And the overdose was down to him. Once this weekend was over, he needed to talk to Helen and do what he could to help her.

  Today, however, belonged to Lexi and Jade. Right on cue, Jade piped up from the back seat.

  ‘Daddy? How many sleeps did Sleeping Beauty have?’

  ‘She means how long was she asleep for,’ whispered Lexi.

  ‘Uh… well, a long time probably.’ He glanced over at Lexi to find that she was laughing at him.

  ‘Good answer. In the fairy tale it was a hundred years, but in the movie, as long as it takes the prince to defeat the wicked fairy.’

  ‘Artistic license.’

  ‘Exactly.’

  ‘So, what’s your wicked fairy, Lexi?’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘If I’m the prince, and I like to think of myself in that role, than I need to defeat your wicked fairy in order to win your love. But I’m struggling with that. I don’t know who, or what, the enemy is here. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I need you to help me.’

  Lexi was silent for ages before she spoke. ‘I don’t think this is the right time for this conversation, Casey.’

  ‘Are we there yet, Daddy?’

  ‘Getting closer, honey. Not long now.’ He lowered his voice when he spoke to Lexi. ‘But we will have this conversation soon. I’m not giving up. Just so you know.’

  *

  Manchester City Centre a few weeks before Christmas and it seemed the whole population were of the same mind. Shop ‘til you drop. Lexi had never seen so many people, all hurrying along, wrapped up in coats, scarves and hats, many of them on mobiles, not looking where they were going, staring at the pavement and relying on others to move out of their way.

  Most of them ignored the rough sleepers who sat against the walls on blankets, with plastic cups next to them. Lexi wished she had money to give them. Maybe, on the way back, she could find some change to hand over, or maybe she could convince Casey to buy a few coffees, but there were so many of them. How do you decide who to help?

  There was a girl with a dog who reminded Lexi of Shelley. Maybe she’d give her something.

  Casey had left the car in a multi-storey carpark and they had joined the crowds streaming down Oxford Street. Both herself and Casey held one of Jade’s hands tightly and she seemed to accept this willingly as people jostled each other, some risking life and limb by stepping onto the gutters to avoid the crush.

  Lexi was grateful when they reached MacDonald’s. The warmth hit her as they struggled through the doors, fighting their way passed baby buggies, people trying to leave, carrying bags of food and cartons of drinks, whilst steering their children ahead of them.

  Eventually, after holding the doors open for a family of four, the father thanking them in a distracted
fashion, they managed to get inside.

  ‘Mummy look, that girl’s got my dress on,’ Jade said indignantly.

  ‘They’re going to the pantomime too.’

  ‘Grab that table quick, the family’s just about to leave.’ Casey herded them over to the window, where moisture ran down the glass and collected in pools at the bottom. It was cold outside, hot and airless inside. Lexi was starting to feel a bit claustrophobic from the noise and all the people. She squashed herself into the booth and tried to ignore it. How much worse was it going to be in the theatre?

  ‘They’ve made a mess,’ Jade said with disdain as she surveyed the table that looked like a disaster area. The family who had just left had ignored the rule to clear up after yourself and the table was littered with crumbs, empty cartons and trays.

  ‘Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll get rid of this in a jiffy.’ Casey proceeded to pile everything onto a tray and whisked it away to the disposal area. Lexi marvelled at how similar father and daughter were. They both liked things just so. She would have just pushed it all to the end of the table. She had enough of clearing up after people at the hospital, but it was nice of Casey to think of their comfort and to clear it up himself. It seemed he couldn’t do enough for them today.

  ‘Right. What’s everyone having?’ he asked when he returned.

  After he had taken their order, chicken nuggets for Jade, cheeseburgers for the grown-ups, fries and milkshakes all round, he hurried off to join the queue for the food.

  ‘Mummy?’

  ‘Yes, darling?’

  ‘Why doesn’t Daddy live with us?’

  ‘Daddy has his own home and we live with Jess and Craig.’ Where had this come from? Surely Casey hadn’t told Jade she was going to live with him? He wouldn’t use her in that way, would he?

  ‘Mabel says her new daddy is going to live with them. I want my new daddy to live with me too.’

  ‘You can go and stay with daddy whenever you like.’ In his brand-new house with no furniture.

  ‘That’s not the same,’ whined Jade.

  ‘We’ll talk about this later, okay? Daddy’s gone to a lot of trouble to make this day really special for us, so let’s just enjoy it and not think of anything else.’

  ‘I’m hungry,’ Jade said. Lexi was beginning to realise that her daughter enjoyed getting the last word. Now who did she get that from, herself or Casey?

  Casey returned with the food. They ate their meal without further comments from Jade and didn’t linger when they’d finished. They cleared away all evidence of their meal, struggled out of MacDonald’s as there seemed to be more people trying to get in than when they arrived, and emerged into the cold, but fresh air. They grabbed Jade’s hands again and made their painstaking way through the crowds down Quay Street to the Opera House.

  *

  Boy, this brings back memories. As they approached the Opera House, Casey had a feeling of déjà vu. His parents had brought them all to see a panto every Christmas when they were kids. He must have seen every fairy story ever written and put on stage. His favourite had been Jack and the Beanstalk.

  Jade was staring intently at all the children who lined up outside, waiting to go in. A lot of them had costumes on, mainly Sleeping Beauty for the girls, but a few were dressed as the prince; boys and girls. And why not? He was all for gender equality. The children were also sporting headbands with flashing lights. Casey hoped they wouldn’t induce epileptic fits in any of the kids. He was off-duty and would prefer it if he could stay that way. He wondered if Jade would ask for flashing lights. Silly question.

  ‘Daddy, can I have some of them?’

  ‘Some of those you mean,’ Lexi corrected her.

  ‘Yeah, them,’ agreed Jade.

  And this was before they’d even made it inside.

  ‘We’ll have to see how much they cost, Jade, they may be too expensive.’ Lexi frowned at him, no doubt expecting him to back her up.

  ‘Daddy?’ His daughter turned a pleading face to him.

  ‘She can’t have everything she wants, Casey.’

  He put his arm around Lexi and hugged her, then whispered, ‘She can today. Indulge me? Just for today?’

  Lexi made an exaggerated angry face, so he kissed her. ‘Please? It’s our first pantomime, there’ll be time for common sense and austerity after the festivities.’ He knew Lexi was right but couldn’t bear the thought of having to say no to Jade today. He wanted this day to be magical for them all. He felt Lexi relax against him and he hugged her tighter before letting go.

  ‘Come on then, let’s get inside.’

  He led his family into the foyer, after the tickets had been checked at the door by a member of the front-of-house staff, to be met with a cacophony of sound, a sea of colour and the aroma of sugar, coffee and perfumes. There was an energy vibrating in the air and barely controlled excitement. Casey was loving every minute.

  ‘Right – twinkling lights, a programme, sweets and – what shall we get to drink?’

  ‘Bottled water,’ answered Lexi.

  Jade had been vocal, chattering away ten to the dozen, right up until the time the music started and the curtain went up, when she suddenly went still and quiet. Casey’s heart sank. Maybe she’d eaten too much at MacDonald’s and felt sick. Did she need the toilet? Was she frightened by all the noise? The music was very loud.

  He leaned over Jade to ask Lexi if she knew what was wrong. Lexi had the same look on her face. Then he remembered that neither of his girls had ever been to a pantomime before. They must have seen them on TV, but this was a completely different ball game.

  There he’d been, being blasé, taking it all in his stride, thinking back to his childhood and these two had been thrust into wonderland and were sitting in their seats like stunned mullets.

  When the chorus of little girls came on and started dancing, Jade said, ‘Oh…’ quietly to herself. She was lost in the magic and so overcome, that she crept onto his knee and sat as still as a little mouse staring at the stage, mesmerized.

  He hugged her tightly, his throat dry and his heart full. He remembered when Riordan had taken Tom to see The Lion King and his brother had red eyes when they returned. He said he was just tired, and Casey had accepted that explanation without question then. But now he wondered.

  To be able to share such happy times with your own child was one of the best feelings ever. And he was sharing it with Lexi too, the woman he loved more than life itself. If only he could convince her of how much he loved her, his happiness would be complete.

  *

  At the end of the performance, when they had sung, shouted and screamed, “He’s behind you!” at the tops of their voices, with the rest of the audience, he carried his emotional little daughter out of the theatre, with Lexi following close behind.

  ‘Daddy, I didn’t want it to end,’ Jade whispered, which were the best words he could have heard.

  In the car, driving away from the city, Jade said, ‘I’m going to be a dancer when I’m older.’

  ‘Are you, darling?’ he asked, as she yawned hugely, ‘not an astrophysicist or a brain surgeon?’

  ‘No, a dancer.’

  ‘Have you thanked Daddy for taking you?’ asked Lexi.

  ‘Thank you – it was the best day of my life.’ She fell asleep.

  ‘You can thank me, too, if you like, but I’d like my payment in kind.’

  ‘Oh, would you now,’ she said as she tried to stifle a yawn, ‘okay, but not tonight, I’m exhausted. But thanks, Casey, it was a lovely day.’

  He wondered if this was his chance to ask Lexi to move in with him again. They had about an hour’s drive back to Leytonsfield, plenty of time to thrash out any doubts she may have and put her mind at rest. When he glanced over at her, wondering how to broach the subject, he realized that conversation would have to wait as well. Lexi was fast asleep.

  He drove away from the city and towards the Cheshire countryside, enjoying the peace after such a hectic, noisy day
. It was quiet in the car with both his girls asleep, giving him time to think.

  He was going to suggest they go Christmas shopping the following Saturday. The Christmas markets were always worth a look and Santa would be in the Precinct all day. A golden photo opportunity. He intended to take as many snaps of Jade as he could. He wasn’t making up for lost time exactly as that wouldn’t be possible. He would need a time machine to recapture the images of her babyhood that were lost to him forever. He was a reasonable photographer and she was so photogenic.

  Maybe Lexi would be willing to help him with his Christmas shopping. He had always been hopeless at it and had usually resorted to asking his mother to help out. It was his parents first Christmas with Jade too and everything would have to be just right. This year was going to be so different to previous years.

  One thing, however, weighed heavily on his mind. The problem of what to do about Helen.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Casey approached Helen’s bedside with some trepidation. He needn’t have worried though, as she smiled widely when she saw him and held her arms out to him.

  ‘Casey, thank you for coming to see me.’

  He hugged her, and she clung on to him. Gone was the sophisticated lady he had once known and in her place was a desperate, sad person with mental health issues.

  ‘How are you feeling?’

  ‘A lot better thank you. And thanks to you I didn’t die.’ She watched him with pain-filled eyes.

  ‘Have you seen a psychiatrist yet?’

  ‘Yes. A very nice man called Dr Moreton who talked to me about counselling. He speaks highly of you.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Oh yes, I told him of all the problems we’re having that led to my breakdown. He was very understanding.’

  ‘Helen, what are you doing in Leytonsfield?’

  ‘Because you live here, of course. It’s my home now, too.’

  ‘Where are you staying?’

  ‘Well, that’s the thing. They want to discharge me, and I’ll continue to see Dr Moreton on an outpatient basis, but I need a secure place to live. I said I was going to stay with you, I hope that’s okay?’