Worth Waiting For

by Burrows, Jax

  ‘That’s sending her the wrong message. She’ll think that she can have everything she wants all the time. I don’t want her growing up believing that.’

  ‘No, she’ll grow up believing she’s loved and cherished, surrounded by people who care about her.’

  Lexi felt as if he’d slapped her. ‘How dare you insinuate that Jade hasn’t been loved and cherished. No one could love her more than I do.’

  ‘Lexi, God, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that, please don’t think-’

  ‘And she has always been surrounded by people who not only care about her physical welfare but have adored her since the day she was born. She has always had family around her, and they will always be there for her.’

  ‘Please, Lexi, forgive me.’ He looked stricken and Lexi’s anger started to dissipate. He had been thoughtless with his words, but not malicious, yet Lexi still felt the sting in the centre of her being. She was sensitive where Jade was concerned, anxious that she be the best mother she can be and any suggestion that she had fallen short of the mark hurt her deeply.

  ‘Daddy, I want this.’

  ‘Oh, look Lexi, a rocking-horse. We used to have one of those, then Tom had it when he was little.’

  Casey appeared to have recovered quickly and was busy admiring yet another thing that Jade wanted to add to her rapidly growing Christmas lists. Why did she have to choose the most expensive things in the shop?

  Her bitterness at Casey’s words lingered in her mind and she had to get out of his way. They agreed to part company for an hour and a half and meet up for an early lunch. Even then, they couldn’t agree on where they would meet.

  ‘I want doughnuts,’ Jade insisted, her good manners disappearing with the last shreds of Lexi’s patience. She was getting sick of hearing her daughter start every sentence with “I want…” Time for Mum to take charge.

  ‘Right, listen up you two. Here’s the deal.’ Casey and Jade gazed at her in trepidation. ‘We’ll meet at the Fruit and Fish Bar for fruit salad and juice. They also do tuna or salmon salad sandwiches for you, Casey. Then, if you’re good, Jade, and stop asking for everything you see, later on this afternoon, I’ll decide if we have doughnuts and hot chocolate. Okay?’

  Jade watched her with a frown, considering the deal. Then a beatific smile spread across her face and she looked more like the little girl Lexi adored. ‘Okay, Mummy,’ she said.

  Lexi hugged her, feeling the familiar warmth spread through her at the feel of her daughter’s arms around her. ‘I love you so much.’

  ‘I love you, too, mummy.’ Lexi kissed Jade and, without even as much as a backward glance at Casey, she strode out of the shop.

  *

  Casey watched her go. How was he managing to get everything so spectacularly wrong? He’d just been given a hard lesson in parenting, one he richly deserved. Jade was now behaving beautifully, standing next to him with her hand clutching his, not even bothering to look at any other toys.

  ‘Right,’ he tried to adopt the same tone of voice that Lexi had used, but when Jade looked up at him, her green eyes so very like his own, he melted. ‘Would you like to help me choose a present for Tom? And one for you to give him as well?’

  ‘Yes, please.’ At the mention of her favourite cousin, his daughter became animated again and Casey asked her to pick some things she liked so they could decide on the best. Whilst she was distracted, he phoned Riordan.

  ‘Hey, Bro, I need your help.’

  ‘Of course you do. Some things never change,’ Riordan sounded amused. ‘What can I do for you?’

  ‘Well, how do I stop Jade from asking for everything she sees?’

  ‘Shopping trip going well, then?’ Riordan paused. ‘You can’t, she’s a child, it’s what they do.’

  ‘I hate saying no to her. I love her and want her to be happy.’

  ‘You don’t want to be cast in the role of villain, is that it?’

  ‘Exactly.’

  ‘Well, tough, that’s parenting. What does Lexi say?’

  ‘She’s not happy with me at the moment, we’re not really communicating.’

  ‘I feel sorry for you, Casey, you have so much to learn. Okay, you want my advice. Firstly, you have to say no to your kids sometimes. Trust me, they don’t love you any less for it. Secondly, listen to what Lexi says. After all, she’s got a head start on you.’

  ‘Right. Thanks. One more thing. Is that rocking horse still in the loft? Jade has seen one she likes but, instead of spending money on a new one, I wondered if I could have that one?’

  ‘Ah. Okay, this was supposed to have been a surprise, but Dad’s way ahead of you. He’s had it repainted and resaddled. They’re going to give it to Jade on Christmas Day.’

  ‘Brilliant. Glad I asked now. Thanks Bro.’

  ‘Have you had the difficult conversation with Helen yet?’ Casey had seen Riordan for a drink after Helen moved in so he could get his advice. His brother wasn’t happy with the situation and told him he was a fool and to get rid of Helen as soon as he could.

  ‘No, but she seemed a bit happier this morning before I left. I’ll tell her tonight.’

  ‘Just be careful how you approach the subject. She’s already tried to take her own life, she’s obviously unstable.’

  ‘I’ll tread carefully. I just want her out of the way so I can concentrate on Lexi. Thanks for everything, Riordan. See you soon.’

  ‘Happy to help. Enjoy the rest of the day.’

  ‘Daddy, I’ve got Tom’s presents for you.’

  ‘Good girl. Wow, he’s going to love these.’ She’d done well, choosing a Lego Marvel Universe set and a basketball. Even at such a young age, his daughter had Tom sussed.

  ‘Okay, how about we go and buy Mummy’s presents now?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  Chapter Thirty

  The Pound Shop had been heaving. She’d bought a few sweets and small items that could be added to Jade’s and Craig’s stockings. Craig knew that Santa wasn’t real, but he kept up the pretence for Jade’s sake.

  As much as she tried to fight it, she was still angry with Casey. He had no idea how inadequate he made her feel when he splashed the cash and gave in to Jade’s demands. He must have maxed out his credit cards by now and the day wasn’t over yet.

  They were so different the two of them. It would never work, them being together, she couldn’t imagine why she ever thought it would.

  She arrived at Fruit and Fish Bar to find Casey and Jade already tucking into lunch. They both looked happy and she started to relax.

  ‘We got you salmon, hope that’s okay?’

  ‘Fine, thanks. Did you get everything?’

  ‘Yes. Jefferson’s is going to deliver everything next week.’ They were being terribly polite but that was better than biting each other’s heads off.

  ‘Good.’

  ‘Are you working Christmas Eve?’

  ‘Yes, an early. You?’ Lexi bit into her salmon sandwich.

  ‘Same. I’ll come and pick the pair of you up afterwards then.’

  ‘Pick us up? For what?’

  He looked at her in surprise. ‘For Christmas, of course. Unless you want me to collect you early Christmas Day morning?’

  ‘Casey, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Jade and I will be spending Christmas Day at home as we always do.’

  ‘What? I assumed you’d want to be with my parents on Christmas Day. They’re all looking forward to it so much. The twins will be home next week and-’

  ‘You have never mentioned this to me before. If you had, I would have explained that it’s our tradition to spend Christmas Day together, just the four of us. I’m not leaving Jess and Craig on their own, not on Christmas Day.’

  ‘Mummy, why are you fighting again?’

  ‘We’re not fighting, darling, we’re just talking.’

  ‘Can we go and see Santa now?’ asked Jade.

  ‘Not yet. Soon. Finish your juice, there’s a good girl.’ Jade obediently pick
ed up her glass and took a drink.

  ‘Jess and Craig can come too. The more the merrier.’ Casey sat back as if he’d solved the problem.

  ‘No, Casey, that isn’t going to happen. Jess wouldn’t want to intrude like that. Christmas is for families.’

  ‘Exactly.’ Casey said, ‘and you and Jade are my family, so we should all be together. Jess’ll understand.’

  ‘I’m not part of your family.’

  ‘You are. If you knew how often my parents talk about you, how much admiration they have for you, you’d know they want you to be part of the family.’

  What about what I want? She wanted to be a member of a big, energetic all-embracing family, where she could feel wanted, accepted, and safe. A family like the O’Connors, and she wanted to be married to a gorgeous sexy man who loved her more than life itself. Just like the man sitting opposite her. So why was she holding back all the time?

  A cold, clammy hand clutched her heart as she realized that Jade’s chair was empty and she hadn’t heard her voice in a while, so engrossed was she in the argument she was having with Casey.

  She looked around the café frantically but couldn’t see her. ‘Where’s Jade?’

  *

  At first, his mind still intent on winning the argument, Casey didn’t understand the question. Jade was sitting in the chair to the left of him, playing with the fruit left in her bowl, as she always did when she’d had enough to eat and had food left over. Only she wasn’t. The chair was empty.

  He got up and looked around but couldn’t see her. ‘Maybe she’s gone to the toilet.’

  ‘She’d never go on her own, she never has.’

  He felt a twinge of concern, but nothing more. Jade was a sensible little girl, she wouldn’t just wander off. He walked around, glancing under tables to make sure she wasn’t hiding from them as a game, but that wasn’t like her either. Jade wasn’t a tease.

  Lexi was doing the sensible thing and asking the staff behind the counter if they’d seen her. He approached the customers on the table nearest to theirs.

  ‘Have you seen a little girl? She’s nearly four, blonde, wearing a red coat?’

  They looked at him blankly. ‘Sorry mate, no,’ said the man.

  Lexi hurried over. ‘We need to contact the Help Desk. They’ll alert security. We need as many people as possible looking for her.’

  Casey stared at her. He was having trouble processing the words. She wasn’t missing, she’d be around somewhere, all they had to do was keep looking.

  ‘Come on, let’s go and find her.’ He paid for their meal, glancing around him the whole time as he fully expected Jade to turn up at any moment. He was waiting to hear her voice and then he and Lexi would feel silly for panicking.

  How should he play it when they find her? Should he be angry with her for running off? He didn’t know how a parent should behave in such circumstances. He’d take Riordan’s advice and follow Lexi’s lead.

  Lexi was already outside the café, staring anxiously up and down the walkway, first to the right and then the left. She disappeared suddenly and he hurried out after her. She had dashed into a clothing shop but came straight out again.

  He put his hands on her shoulders to try to calm her. ‘It’s okay, we’ll find her. You need to keep calm.’

  ‘Calm? How can I keep calm? Where is she, Casey? Anything could have happened to her.’

  ‘Nothing’s happened to her. She’s around here somewhere. She was here a few minutes ago, she won’t have gone far.’ He was convinced they would spot a little blonde girl in a red coat amongst the crowd at any time. She was here, nearby, he just knew it.

  ‘It’s our fault. Jade hated to hear us arguing.’

  ‘We weren’t arguing.’

  ‘Of course we were. We’ve been doing it all day.’

  ‘I thought we were having a disagreement.’

  ‘She’s a child. Raised voices to a child is arguing.’

  Casey’s stomach turned over as the truth of what Lexi was saying hit him. It was his fault Jade ran off. Because she had a totally self-absorbed father, caring only about getting his own way. He should have put her needs first, but he was too busy being right about everything.

  Lexi’s face was drained of colour and her eyes were huge and brimming with tears.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered.

  ‘Where is she, Casey? Where’s my baby?’

  At her words, the sickness that had been growing threatened to erupt and he thought he might be in danger of losing his lunch. He swallowed hard, then pulled Lexi into his arms for a reassuring hug. Her body was stiff against his and she didn’t hug him back.

  ‘We’ll find her, I promise. Trust me.’

  He felt lightheaded as he thought of the size of the shopping mall. It had three storeys, linked by escalators in the middle of each floor, hundreds of shops and there were thousands of Christmas shoppers swarming all over the enormous building. Who knew what kinds of people were amongst them?

  He’d never thought of a shopping mall in terms of danger before, but now it was all he could think about.

  Okay. Think logically. ‘Did she say anything to you? Anything that might give us a clue?’

  Lexi looked distraught and kept her hand over her mouth as if she, too, felt like throwing up, or screaming.

  ‘No. She just wanted to go and see Santa.’

  ‘Santa?’ The first flicker of hope gave him a rush of adrenaline. That was a clue, wasn’t it? ‘So, she might be trying to find Santa?’

  ‘Possibly, but she has no idea where Santa is, or where anything is. She’s only three. Oh, God, she’s all alone and terrified. We need to do something. Why are we just standing here when we should be doing something?’

  Lexi was beginning to lose it, so they had to keep moving, but Santa was the only clue they had, and he was going to run with it.

  ‘Come on, let’s go back to the Precinct.’

  ‘What if she’s not there?’ Lexi was crying now, her whole body shaking as they speed-walked towards the exit.

  ‘Then we’ll try somewhere else.’

  ‘I’m scared. What if something’s happened to her?’

  ‘Nothing’s happened to her.’

  ‘How can you be so sure?’

  ‘Because I can’t deal with the thought that something has happened to her right now.’ He was shouting and people turned to stare at them as they hurried by. He wanted to scream at them to stop staring and help them look. Jade was their precious child and he was going to find her. One step at a time. It was the only way he was going to hold it together.

  On the way, he stared at every red object he saw in case it miraculously became a child’s coat. Once, he thought he saw her, but when the girl turned around, she wasn’t Jade. The disappointment stopped him in his tracks. Then sheer panic started him moving again.

  As he started running, he heard Lexi calling him to slow down.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Lexi’s phone rang as Casey disappeared into the crowd. She tried to retrieve it from the bottom of her handbag whilst running but stumbled and dropped both her handbag and the plastic Pound Shop bag, the contents spilling on the ground.

  ‘Casey!’ she screamed but he had vanished. She grabbed her stuff and shoved it all back in the bags. The phone had stopped ringing now and she started walking whilst checking who had been trying to contact her. The only person she could think of was Jess and she hated missing her calls, but now wasn’t the time to chat. It was an unknown number, so she ignored it.

  She started running when she saw that Casey had stopped at the exit to wait for her. Her phone rang again and this time she answered it.

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘Is that Lexi Grainger?’

  ‘Yes. Who’s this?’

  ‘A well-wisher. I’ve got your daughter. Don’t worry, she’s quite safe.’ Then the line went dead.

  ‘No!’ Lexi didn’t know she was screaming until she felt strong male arms holding
her and a deep voice telling her everything will be okay. How could anything be okay when someone had kidnapped Jade?

  ‘Tell me what happened,’ said Casey, his voice soothing. Lexi couldn’t be soothed.

  ‘A woman… she’s got her… help her Casey, please…’

  ‘What woman? You’re going to have to calm down, sweetheart and tell me the whole story.’

  So Lexi took a deep breath and told him about the phone call and what the woman had said to her. Casey took his phone out of his pocket and started punching numbers.

  ‘Are you ringing the police?’

  ‘No, not yet. We may not need the police.’

  ‘Of course we need them! She’s been taken by a mad woman. God knows what she’s doing to her. Ring the police, Casey or I will.’

  ‘She won’t hurt her.’

  ‘How do you know what she’ll do?’

  ‘I think I know who it is. Blast it keeps going to voicemail. She’s not going to pick up.’

  ‘You know this woman? How? Who is she? What the hell’s going on Casey and where’s my baby?’

  Lexi could feel the hysteria mounting in her again. Jade abducted by a woman Casey knew. She’d be frightened, poor little mite, calling for her mummy.

  ‘Who is this woman!’ she shouted at the top of her voice indifferent to the people who had stopped and stared, some even taking photos of her on their phones.

  ‘Come on, let’s go.’ Casey grabbed her arm and dragged her towards the exit. ‘We need to get to my house, I think that’s where they’ll be.’

  ‘How will they have got there so quickly?’ Lexi was trying to make sense of it all and keep herself from falling apart.

  ‘She probably had a taxi standing by.’

  ‘She planned this? How do you know her and why has she targeted Jade?’

  ‘She’s my ex and Jade’s my daughter.’

  They reached the car and Casey pulled out of the narrow space, narrowly missing scraping the car in front and they sped off back to the area of Leytonsfield where Casey’s new house was. Lexi was trembling and she was fighting the need to be sick. Casey wouldn’t appreciate that in his car along with everything else they were facing.